When the aftershocks of her orgasm subsided, she pulled Jenna up next to her. They faced each other, their arms gently draped across one another. Danielle touched Jenna’s face. Jenna lit up with a warm smile.
Danielle knew they had to come back to reality sometime, but she couldn’t even vaguely entertain reality right now when Jenna was fulfilling all her recent dreams.
Chapter Twenty-one
Danielle woke to the soft clink of dishes downstairs. She slowly sat up, smiling at the dull ache in her muscles as the night rushed back to her and she remembered she was in Jenna’s bedroom. The doorknob twisted, and Jenna emerged with two coffee cups. A warm smile spread across Jenna’s face. She walked the rest of the way into the room at a much more relaxed pace, like she’d been trying not to make noise before. Danielle soaked the image of Jenna in and let it fill her. She was still swimming in Jenna’s smell, her touch.
“Good morning.” Jenna handed Danielle the cup of coffee. “Figured you might not want to risk running into my family after yesterday.”
Danielle smiled and took the cup, pulling up the covers and inviting Jenna back into bed. Jenna slipped in next to her and settled into the nook under Danielle’s arm. Jenna fit against her perfectly, and she breathed in the comfort and ease of her.
“What are you up to today?” Danielle asked.
“I have to get some work done,” Jenna said.
“On the weekend?”
“Yeah, I didn’t finish my reports yesterday.”
“Someone interrupt you?” Danielle teased her as she kissed Jenna’s ear, gently grabbing her earlobe in her teeth. She felt a shiver run over Jenna’s skin, and Jenna turned into a kiss.
“I guess that’s why they think workplace relationships are bad,” Jenna said.
Danielle felt the weight of the words crushing her and pulling her down even though they were meant to be a joke. “Yeah,” she said. “I guess we should probably talk about that. I don’t want to get you in trouble, Jenna.”
“We had our chance to stop,” Jenna said. “We failed miserably. I failed miserably.”
Danielle couldn’t help but smile, but the stone remained heavy and solid in her chest. Jenna was risking so much for her. She couldn’t help but dread and fear the day Jenna would resent her for it. “I never should have kissed you,” Danielle said. “I got this whole mess started.”
“Are you saying you want to stop?”
Danielle’s stomach dropped. She looked up sharply, relieved to see the same dread in Jenna’s expression. “No,” she said. “I don’t want to stop. I’m just not sure what to do now.”
“Me either.” Jenna took a deep breath. “All I know is you’re all I can think about. I don’t know if I can keep my hands off you.”
“I don’t want you to.”
“We could hide it,” Jenna said. “Until we can think of something better?”
Jenna spoke the suggestion sheepishly, like she was afraid of Danielle’s reaction, but she’d thought of nothing else for days. She’d gone around and around in circles trying to figure out what to do with her feelings, and she kept winding up at an image of them hiding their relationship away. She’d just been too afraid to suggest it. It felt wrong, asking Jenna to sneak around, hiding their feelings when really she wanted to shout them to the world.
“Yes,” Danielle said. “It’s the only way I can think of too. We can’t possibly be the first to run into this problem.”
Jenna laughed, and Danielle finally breathed with relief. Suddenly, the whole issue seemed smaller. Plenty of people hid workplace relationships. They had to. It couldn’t possibly be that rare, but they couldn’t take it lightly. She could get in trouble, the kind of trouble she could live with, but Jenna could lose her job entirely, and Danielle refused to be the cause of that.
Danielle leaned forward and kissed Jenna gently, letting it settle in her mind not just that they were agreeing to hide the relationship, but first of all, to have one. She loved the idea, but it brought both of their homes raging through her thoughts. Brianna. Callie.
“Jenna, about last night,” she said. “I feel really bad for making you bring me here. I didn’t mean to start problems between you and your sister. I don’t want you to feel like you have to start a war with her over me, over what happened.”
A knot bunched in Jenna’s jaw. She looked just as angry as she had last night when it happened. “It’s not your fault,” she said.
“It kind of is, though,” Danielle said. “You told me it was a bad idea, and I pushed because I didn’t want to be around Brianna. I told you I’d explain later. I think I should now. I know what it sounded like to you, and I can’t stand you thinking that.”
Jenna turned toward her on the bed and seemed to stiffen. Danielle took a breath, trying to figure out where to start.
“When I got upset that night at the party because Brianna was wasted, I told you she does it all the time. I didn’t mean she just likes to party a lot. She’s an alcoholic.”
“Oh.” Jenna smiled. “Is that all? You had me scared.”
“It’s a real problem,” Danielle said. “It might not sound like a big deal, but—”
“You’re right,” Jenna said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. How bad is it?”
Danielle’s chest tightened as she pictured the last couple years of her life, Brianna’s decline from a lively and fun but stable and dependable friend into the disaster she was now. She’d liked to drink more than average even when they were dating, but it had taken another year for it to become clear it was an issue she couldn’t control. It had been devastating to watch, and Danielle somehow wound up becoming the one Brianna turned to again and again. She witnessed Brianna’s herd of friends thin, fill, and thin again as the many people she met at the bar inevitably tapped out.
“She drinks all day every day,” Danielle said. “She goes to bed when she’s finally so drunk she passes out. Doesn’t remember much the next day. She acts crazy a lot of the time. I just knew if I took you over there she wouldn’t leave us alone. We’d be taking care of her all night in between her hitting on you. I just wanted some real time with you.”
Jenna squeezed Danielle’s hand. “Sounds like a hard way to live,” she said. “You deal with that every night?”
“Most nights.”
“Has she ever tried to get help?”
Danielle shook her head. She knew the pattern of thoughts Jenna would go through. Many people had done the same. Danielle had done the same, but she never found a solution.
“She doesn’t think she needs it,” Danielle said. “Of course.”
“She doesn’t do anything…” Jenna paused. “Abusive, does she?”
Danielle felt a knot form in her throat while she considered how much to say. The more she told people, the more she was pressured to kick Brianna out, and she simply couldn’t do that. She couldn’t abandon someone she cared about. She knew too well how it felt.
“She doesn’t hit me, if that’s what you mean.”
“I mean it in the broadest sense,” Jenna said.
“She goes into rages sometimes,” Danielle said. She took a forced breath. She had to trust Jenna. Her family was just as complex. She’d understand. “She breaks stuff. She can get mean, call me names. She lies a lot. Then she cries, falls on the floor like a little kid until you take care of her. It used to upset me, but she has no idea it even happened the next day. Usually it doesn’t seem worth it trying to stay mad at her. It just upsets her when I’m mad, and it starts her on a whole new rampage. I try to ignore it.”
“Danielle, you know that’s not healthy, right?”
“I know.” She felt like she could read everything Jenna was thinking straight out of her brain. “But I don’t know what to do about it. She doesn’t want help, and I can’t throw her out on the street. She can’t take care of herself. God knows what will happen to her.”
“Does she have family?”
“They cut her off.
”
“Maybe for good reason,” Jenna said. “You don’t have to let her treat you that way.”
Danielle’s stomach twisted, and the urge to shut down slammed into her full force. She knew Jenna’s reaction was normal, that she was just trying to look out for her well-being, but she’d had too many people try to tell her how to handle Brianna, too many people who thought the answer was to throw her out and let her drown, who tried to impose their opinions like the law, like her father. They all seemed to think Brianna would get her life together if she was forced to, but Danielle knew better. She knew with a certainty that ran all the way into her bones that Brianna could not handle a sink or swim ultimatum. She’d sink. And no matter how crazy Brianna got sometimes, Danielle couldn’t just let that happen. There had to be a better way.
She grabbed Jenna’s hand and squeezed. “I know it’s not okay,” she said. “I know something has to change, but I can’t just throw her on the street, and I can’t get her to go to rehab yet. I’m dealing with it the best I can until I can think of something better.”
“But—”
Danielle cut her off with a kiss. “You don’t have to solve this,” she said. “I just wanted you to know. I couldn’t stand you thinking I didn’t want you there because I was seeing her or something.”
“It crossed my mind,” Jenna said.
“I’m not,” Danielle said. “I promise.” She wanted to keep going. She wanted to tell Jenna Brianna was her ex. It was information she should be aware of, but Jenna was already having trouble understanding. She already thought Danielle should refuse to deal with Brianna. If she added that they used to date to the mix, who knew how she’d react? She would probably think that was some hidden key that explained her willingness to put up with Bri. If Jenna demanded she get rid of Bri, she wouldn’t be able to do it, and she couldn’t lose Jenna over that. If she just gave her more time she’d understand.
“I believe you,” Jenna said.
“Thank you.”
Danielle jumped to her feet, eager to put space between them and the topic of Brianna. “I guess I better let you get to work,” she said. “Do you mind if I use your shower?”
“Of course not,” Jenna said. “Right through there.”
Danielle kissed Jenna, letting the heat of her mouth ripple through her skin. When she pulled away, the sparkle in Jenna’s eyes wrapped her in longing. She made her way into the bathroom and turned the shower up as hot as she could stand.
* * *
Jenna watched Danielle disappear into the bathroom. She wanted to stop her. She wanted to talk about Brianna more, but she knew Danielle wasn’t ready to hear it. She was keenly aware Danielle hadn’t asked for her opinion, yet she’d still had a hard time not giving it. She’d seen Danielle clam up and shut down, and that had been enough to silence her. She would have to go at Danielle’s pace.
They already had enough to think about as it was. They had to find a way to cover their uncontrollable lust at work, and she needed to figure out how to keep Callie in check before she went too far and did some real damage. And between all that, she just wanted to enjoy Danielle and get to know her more at whatever pace felt right.
Jenna started downstairs to search for breakfast. When she got there, Callie was sitting silently at the dining room table. Jenna paused, then walked past her and opened the fridge.
“Have a fun night?” Callie asked.
Jenna’s shoulders tensed with anger at the sound of Callie’s voice. She wasn’t ready to talk to her, but she couldn’t avoid it. She grabbed the orange juice, poured a glass, and sat at the table across from her.
“It’s not just fun, Callie,” Jenna said. “I really like her. I thought you would know that when I brought her home. When have I ever done that?”
“Never.”
“When have I ever treated this house like a ‘sex pad’?”
“Last night.”
“Damn it, Callie, even if that were true it doesn’t give you the right to act the way you did.”
“And what gives you the right to bring random people over here? You know I don’t like to be around people.”
“I live here too, Callie. I pay the bills. I have every right to bring people over.”
“But you can leave, Jenna. You can do this somewhere else. I can’t. I’m trapped here. You took my one safe place and you brought someone into it without so much as telling me.”
Jenna grit her teeth, then slumped back into the chair, all her energy drained. “I guess I could have warned you,” Jenna said. “I will next time.”
Callie shot forward in her chair and slammed her palm on the table. “Next time? You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
“No, Callie, I’m not kidding.” Jenna kept her voice calm and steady. “I told you I really like this woman. Doesn’t that matter to you? Doesn’t my happiness matter?”
Callie crossed her arms and stared at the table. Jenna was struck by how childlike she looked with her ridiculous, protruding, pouting mouth.
“Callie, you have to know I would never bring anyone here who would be cruel to you. Give Danielle a chance. For me.”
Callie looked at Jenna for a long time before the corner of her mouth finally twitched into a smile. “Ah, fine. Jeez. You’re like, in love, aren’t you?”
The words sent a jolt through her. “I—”
Jenna’s gaze tore from Callie when Danielle filled the door frame at the bottom of the stairs. Her hair was still wet, and her clothes clung to the curves of her body. Danielle smiled when they both looked over at her.
“Sorry,” Danielle said. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“It’s okay,” Jenna said. “We were done, and I’d better get to work.”
Danielle nodded. “All right. Well, I hope you have a good day, Callie.”
Callie looked at Jenna, then finally nodded at Danielle. “You too. Good to meet you.”
Chapter Twenty-two
Danielle watched Jenna make her way into work before she started her car. Even from behind, even from two hundred feet away, Jenna was so gorgeous Danielle could barely breathe. She couldn’t believe they’d somehow wound up in bed together. She couldn’t believe Jenna hadn’t pled temporary insanity in the morning, that she would risk her career to be with her, but she couldn’t seem to tell Jenna it wasn’t worth it. The feeling she had when they were together, the way the air filled with their energy felt worth it. It felt special.
It only took a few minutes for her to drive home in the light Saturday morning traffic. She tried to open the door to her apartment quietly, hoping Brianna would still be passed out from a night of drinking. When she slowly cracked the door open, Brianna was sitting on the couch staring at her. She raised an eyebrow as Danielle finally slipped inside.
“Well, look at you sneaking around,” she said. “I thought there was a slight chance you would have some innocent explanation for not coming home, but alas, the sweet Danielle has finally indulged in a one-night stand.”
Danielle breathed with relief as she recognized Brianna was sober. She smiled and went to sit on the couch.
“So?” Brianna asked.
“So what?”
“Who was she?”
Danielle groaned. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh, hell no,” Brianna said. “Danielle, I can and will die from information deprivation. Why does everything have to be a big secret? Just tell me.”
“Do you really want to know?” Danielle asked. “Think about it.”
“What do you mean?” Brianna pulled away in surprise. “God, don’t tell me you think I still have a thing for you.”
“I don’t know,” Danielle said. “I didn’t. But then you wanted to hook up that one night.”
“What?” Brianna’s face filled with what looked like genuine shock. “What in the hell are you talking about?”
“You…” Danielle paused as she realized Brianna had no memory of the event and wished she hadn’t even m
entioned it. As often as it happened, it still surprised her every time Brianna failed to recall major events. “You tried—”
“If I did that I was just wasted and horny. Purely physical needs clashing with a lack of inhibition. Don’t be full of yourself. I’m so over you. We covered this when we moved in together, remember?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, so who is she?”
Danielle sighed and rubbed her face. “Jenna.”
“Your boss?” Brianna nearly yelled the words and sprang in the air while she turned to Danielle, crossing her legs on the couch so she could face her squarely.
“Yes.”
“After all that talk about how inappropriate it was?”
Danielle groaned. “Yes.”
“Well done,” Brianna said with a mischievous smile. “My little Danielle is all grown up and sleeping with her boss.”
“Knock it off,” Danielle said. “I’m a horrible person. She could get fired.”
“She must really like you then.”
Danielle nodded. “I think so.”
“Not a one-night stand after all,” Brianna said. “You could do a lot worse. She’s sexy as hell. And I was only around her for a night, but she seemed cool.”
“She is.”
“So, when are you seeing her again?”
“At work, I guess.” Danielle laughed.
“You should bring her over sometime.”
“Really?”
“Yes, Danielle.” Brianna rolled her eyes. “That’s what you do when you like someone. You do like her, don’t you?”
“Of course, I do.”
“Okay, then.”
“You won’t hit on her?”
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