by Walker Percy
4. If God does not exist, then it will be I not God who will not tolerate it. I, one person. I will start a new world single-handedly or with those like me who will not tolerate it. But the difference between me and God is that I won’t tolerate the Russians or the Chinese either. God uses instruments. I am my own instrument. No Russkies or Chinks in the Shenandoah Valley. We won’t tolerate either. We won’t tolerate that out there and we won’t tolerate the Russians. We know what we want. And we’ll have it. If it takes the sword, we’ll use the sword.
5.I’ll wait and give your God time.
You are silent. Your eyes are vacant.
So you plan to take a little church in Alabama, Father, preach the gospel, turn bread into flesh, forgive the sins of Buick dealers, administer communion to suburban housewives?
At last you’re looking straight at me, but how strangely! Ah, all at once I understand you. I read you as instantly as I used to when we were so close. All of a sudden we understand each other perfectly, don’t we?
Tell me if I’m right or wrong.
You know something you think I don’t know, and you want to tell me but you hesitate.
Yes.
You speak! Loud and clear! And looking straight at me!
But I can see in your eyes it doesn’t make any difference any more, as far as what is going to happen next is concerned, that what is going to happen is going to happen whether you or I believe or not and whether your belief is true or not. Right?
Yes.
We are not going to make it this way, are we?
No.
It’s all over, isn’t it? I can see it in your eyes. We agree after all.
Yes.
Yes, but? But what? There must be a new beginning, right?
Yes—
But? You don’t like the new beginning I propose?
You are silent. So you are going to go to your little church in Alabama and that’s it?
Yes.
So what’s the new beginning in that? Isn’t that just more of the same?
You are silent.
Very well. But you know this! One of us is wrong. It will be your way or it will be my way.
Yes.
All we can agree on is that it will not be their way. Out there.
Yes.
There is no other way than yours or mine, true?
Yes.
One last question—and somehow I know you know the answer. Do you know Anna?
Yes.
Do you know her well?
Yes.
Will she join me in Virginia and will she and I and Siobhan begin a new life there?
Yes.
Very well. I’ve finished. Is there anything you wish to tell me before I leave?
Yes.
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
copyright © 1977 by Walker Percy
cover design by Jason Gabbert
ISBN: 978-1-4532-1617-0
This edition published in 2011 by Open Road Integrated Media
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