Sleeping with Jarrett was the best. I never really understood quite how nice it was to just sleep in the same bed as someone. I mean, there was plenty of other stuff too, a lot of touching and kissing, but the best part was the sleeping. There was something about curling up in Jarrett’s big arms that made me feel safe, that made me realize that this was a huge thing I had been missing for the past eight years or so. I wanted to make the most of every single moment that I had with him. I wanted to sleep with him as often as possible.
“I think I’ll have to go home tonight,” Jarrett said on Sunday morning as we drank coffee together before Emery dragged herself out of bed. “There is so much that I should definitely have done this weekend and I definitely can’t wear these clothes for a third day in a row, and definitely not a fourth when I go to work tomorrow.”
I didn’t want him to go. Even as he was saying the words, my heart seemed to preempt them and immediately sink in my chest. This was the absolute last thing I wanted. It was all going so smoothly. And there was a small part of me, a quite immature and stupid part actually, that wondered if I would be able to sleep the same without Jarrett next to me.
“You could always come to mine?” he suggested, apparently seeing my “wounded puppy dog” face. “That would be nice, you’d get to see my place. I live near a lake, it’s really beautiful. A little way away from Rippling Woods but the view and the quiet certainly makes the drive worth it. I promise.”
“That would be great,” I said. “But I can’t. Not with Emery. I need to keep her stable and going and staying at yours will throw her off balance when she has to go to school in the morning.” God, I hated this. One blissful day and already the dream world we’d built was crashing down around our ears. “I’m sorry.”
“No, no, no,” he said. “I totally get it. It was a stupid suggestion really, of course you have to keep that continuity for Emery. I was just thinking out loud.” He sighed. “God, the things we would have gotten up to if we’d been together eight years ago.”
“I shudder at the thought,” I said, though really it sounded like it could have been quite exciting. If Jarrett was wild enough to fuck me senseless in a club who knows what trouble we could have gotten into given the chance.
“What about this, then?” Jarrett said. “I’ll go back to mine this morning, get dressed into something a little less two days old and come back with something for tomorrow so I can stay one more night.”
“You don’t have to,” I said, even though the idea sounded wonderful. “You really don’t, I was just trying to let you know that I will miss you and it’ll be weird not waking up next to you when we’ve had that for two days in a row.”
He laughed. “That’s a lot of things you’re letting me know, Brent,” he said.
“I have a lot of feelings.”
He leant forward and kissed me softly on the lips. He tasted of morning Jarrett and coffee, which was a combination I definitely enjoyed.
“I’ll go now,” he said. “Then we can spend the day together properly and I can stop feeling gross. I’ve already turned my underwear inside out so I’ve run out of options.”
“Commando is an option,” I suggested with a wink.
He laughed. “I’ll be back in forty-five minutes,” he said. “An hour at most. That gives me enough time to shower and change.”
So that’s what he did. And it meant we got to spend the whole day together watching trashy Sunday films on Netflix and being a family. It was an extension of this tiny fantasy bubble we’d made for ourselves, something that was going to vanish tomorrow when he had to return to work
I woke up early on Monday morning so that I could see him off before he left. I made him breakfast, pancakes with bacon and maple syrup, and sat with him while he ate, me nursing a cup of coffee. I was never really a breakfast person, but was happy to send him off with something hearty. There was something weighing on his mind though, I could see it in his furrowed brow, in the way he couldn’t quite look at me
“What is it?” I said. “Have I distracted you too much this weekend? Are you behind because of me?”
“No, no, no,” he said, swallowing a mouthful of breakfast. “That’s not it at all. I’m a little nervous about heading back, if I’m honest. There’s suddenly a lot to think about. A lot has changed since Friday.”
I suppose it had. We hadn’t really talked about how things were going to be once Jarrett went back to work. We got a little too lost in the family fantasy.
“What are we going to do?” I said. “You’re not going to get in trouble at school are you?”
“I don’t know,” he said, looking down at his breakfast for a moment. “But I don’t think I want to take that risk just yet.”
I blinked. “What do you mean?”
“I need to work out how I’m going to explain this to the Principal,” he said. “It’s a pretty big thing, I’ve hardly got my head around it myself.”
“Sure, I get that.”
“So I just need some time. And I need for Emery to keep it quiet too…” he trailed off, like he wasn’t sure how I was going to react.
“Jarrett, I totally understand okay? I’ll talk to Emery before school this morning,” I said. “And we can go public when you’re ready to talk or when you’ve figured out what’s going to happen.” I placed a hand on his arm. “This is going to be fine, you know? It’s going to be great.” It made sense to see how all of this played out before he potentially put his job at risk. I wasn’t stupid. I knew this situation was weird and definitely not the norm. I could wait.
He finished his breakfast and I saw him off at the door with a kiss. I watched him as he walked down my driveway to his car, as he climbed inside and waved me goodbye, speeding off down the road.
It was a surreal sensation, some sort of pretend househusband situation that I hadn’t experienced before. But I guess it was all a secret. And would have to remain that way.
The only problem I knew I would have was with Emery. She was excited to have a Dad and would have showed him off to absolutely anyone who would care to listen. And at school she would have a captive audience of her classmates and I had no idea how they would react.
Emery’s behavior was already pretty erratic. I knew she was having problems with the other kids and she struggled with authority at the best of times. If the other kids teased her, I didn’t know what she would do, if she would shift and cause a situation or manage to let it go. And when it came to her behavior with Jarrett, would that change too? Would she show off more or even think she could get away with being worse? The last thing I wanted to do was put Jarrett in an awkward position. This was all so hard when we were keeping it a secret. If it was out in the open, at least another faculty member could help.
I sat Emery down at the breakfast table, also treating her to pancakes, bacon and maple syrup, and she definitely knew I wanted to talk. She wouldn’t stop eyeballing me.
“What is it Papa?” she asked.
“Did you have a good weekend?” I asked. I’d start off slow. No need jumping in and scaring her.
“It was fantastic,” she exclaimed. “I got to meet my Daddy and hang out with him and get to know him. He’s really nice.” She tucked into her pancakes; apparently not wise to the fact I was about to rain on her parade a little. “Papa, these pancakes are delicious! Did Daddy have some too?”
“I’m glad you liked them, you’re Daddy was a fan too.” I cleared my throat, wanting to get back onto topic. “Emery, how do you feel about Daddy teaching you at school?” I asked. “How do you think that will be?”
“I think it will be fun,” she said. “Mr. Ewen was already my favorite, so now he gets to be my favorite even more. Ms. Hartzell, my Art teacher, is a big old sour puss. She hates me because I can’t draw.”
“You can draw!”
“You have to say that Papa, you’re my Papa,” she said, tucking back into her pancakes. I realized I’d lost control of the conversation again. She was damn g
ood at steering the conversation where she wanted it to go.
“Well, I think it might be best if you don’t tell the other kids about Mr. Ewen,” I said, careful to use his teacher name in this situation. “We both agreed that it needs to be kept quiet for now, okay?”
“But that’s stupid!” Emery protested. “He’s my Daddy, why can’t I tell people he’s my Daddy?”
“Because we don’t know what the rules are at school and we don’t want any trouble.”
“But I want to tell everybody!” she whined. “It’s exciting news. Don’t you think it’s exciting news? Don’t you want to tell all of your friends?”
She had a point, of course she did. If I were in Emery’s position, I would want to tell the world too, but now wasn’t the time. I didn’t want anything bad to happen. I needed to keep this relationship safe. I wanted it to work.
“I know what you mean, honey,” I said. “But you have to do this for Daddy as well as Papa, okay? We both want you to keep quiet, just for now. It won’t be for forever, I promise!”
She sighed and put her cutlery down. “Fine, but I still think it’s a stupid idea.”
“Duly noted,” I said. “Now finish up your pancakes and we’ll get you off to school, okay?”
She obediently finished her pancakes without so much as another word, which naturally made me think she was up to something; such was Emery’s way. I could only hope that when she got to school, she would manage to keep quiet.
I wondered what the day would hold and what would happen to Jarrett if Emery were to slip up, or even if I were to slip up. I mean, I don’t exactly have a huge amount of contacts in this town but all it would take would be one conversation and it could all be over.
But there was that part of me that wasn’t so sure that Jarrett wanted to keep this a secret for the noble reasons he suggested. What if he was just testing the waters of the relationship, making sure he actually liked Emery and I. I didn’t want to think about it. If I thought about it too much, I could convince myself that he wanted to run away. If I thought about it too much, I might be the one that fires the starting gun.
13
Jarrett
I was on a freaking cloud. All the way to school I couldn’t help but smile, Brent’s kiss still lingering on my lips, the memories of the weekend, of getting to spend all of this time with Emery and Brent. It was blissful. I felt happy. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt this happy. I mean I was happy with life most of the time but this was like seeing color for the first time, everything just seemed more vibrant.
When I walked into the staff room, taking off my coat and scarf, I was quickly cornered by Holly Hartzell, probably my closest friend at Rippling Wood. She looked panicked, her green eyes wide, her ginger hair pulled back into a bun so severe it made her look at the worse.
“Jarrett, I think we need to have a quiet word,” she hissed.
“And good morning to you too,” I said with a chuckle. “I take it your weekend wasn’t quite as relaxing as mine was, huh?”
She looked sickened by me. “What’s gotten into you? I’m being serious.”
“What?”
“I know you had a good weekend, Jarrett, it’s pretty much all anyone at school can talk about,” she whispered. “I’m not trying to freak you out or anything, and I’m sure you’re super happy but what the fuck are you thinking?”
“Holly, I’m going to need a little more, I’ve only had one cup of coffee and it hasn’t quite kicked in yet.”
She groaned in frustration. “I know you were out with Mr. Bridges and Emery at the weekend. Apparently you two looked pretty cozy down at Frostbites on Saturday morning. Coffee, Danish, cupcakes, it all looked very homely.”
“What are you suggesting?” I said, trying to make it sound like what she was telling me was outrageous.
“There is news spreading among the faculty that you have been off gallivanting with Mr. Bridges and his daughter which is definitely against school policy and a huge conflict of interest. You’re her teacher for goodness sake.”
“Holly, I think-“
“I don’t think you do think, Jarrett, I think that’s part of the problem,” Holly hissed. “This is huge and could only get huger if you don’t clear these rumors up.” She took a deep breath. “Look, you’re my friend okay? My friend first and my colleague second, so I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to do anything stupid.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“Okay,” she said. “All I need for you to do is tell me that nothing is happening between you and Mr. Bridges and I’ll get off your back. I’ll also bitch slap anyone who even suggests that there is from this point forward.”
I giggled. “I don’t know if bitch slapping people is going to help either of us,” I said.
“Jarrett, come on, be serious. Just for a second, huh?”
It was a freaking nightmare that we’d been seen. I knew it was too good to be true. But I didn’t want to call things off with Brent just because of this. It seemed like a really stupid thing to do to carry on with him but, at the same time, I couldn’t let it come between me trying to be a Dad to Emery. It was the last thing I wanted. They would understand, but now wasn’t the time to try and explain it to anyone, that was for certain.
I took a deep breath. “We just bumped into each other in Frostbites,” I said. “You know what Emery’s like, you’re her art teacher.” Holly nodded. “I had Mr. Bridges in for a chat on Friday afternoon to talk about her behavior and when I saw them both he wanted to buy me coffee to thank me for looking out for her. We’re just friends, I guess.”
“He seems like a very sweet man.”
I nodded. “He is.” She smiled at me.
“Okay then,” she said. “I believe you, of course I do. So I’ll start knocking some heads together if people start talking about you.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I protested.
“I know I don’t have to, but it might be fun, let me have this one!”
The school day went by without a hitch. Emery didn’t say a word about me being her dad or mentioned it to any of the other students, so it meant we were still safe. Emery was sweeter than she normally was, which was sort of nice. If me being her Dad meant she wasn’t going to be screwing around in class, then maybe this wouldn’t such a bad arrangement after all.
But it didn’t stop me from worrying. All it would have taken was a slip of the tongue from her or someone else seeing us out in town and the entire thing could go up in flames, and that was the last thing I wanted.
I walked out of school a little later than normal, catching up on some of the work I hadn’t managed to do over the weekend due to spending time with Emery and Brent. The school was mostly empty when I left and I climbed into my car and set up another conference call with my brothers. I hadn’t spoken to them since Friday and I’d had a couple of texts off Chasen asking how it had all gone, what I’d decided to do. I’d not really had time to respond to him, I’d been enjoying myself with Brent too much.
“Well, well, well, look who it is,” Chasen’s voice chirped through the phone. “Here we are again, this is becoming a bit of a pattern Jarrett, is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” I said, though I didn’t sound all that convincing. “Good, actually. I’m…happy.”
“That’s good,” Slater said. “Are you going to tell us what you decided to do or just leave us in suspense?”
I told them what I’d done on Friday night, leaving out the part where we had wild sex within seconds of seeing each other but keeping all the parts where we went out and I got to know Brent and Emery a little better, that parts where we got to be a family.“This is the best news!” Chasen exclaimed. “I’m going to be brutally honest with you here, Jarrett, I didn’t think you’d do it.”
“What?”
“I really didn’t,” he said. “I honestly thought you’d go home, sulk, masturbate and pass out. Good for you. I mean, I’ve lost fifty b
ucks to Slater, but good for you.”
“You guys were betting on the outcome? Slater, what the hell?”
“I was rooting for you, Jarrett, what are you mad at me for?” Slater laughed. “Look, betting aside, this is a really great thing.” He paused. “But I get the impression that’s not what you phoned for because that could’ve been done in a text.” He took a breath. “What’s really going on?”
“Wow, you got me,” I said. “I’m a little scared, to be honest.”
“Of course you’re scared,” Chasen said. “You’re bound to be scared, this is fated mate stuff, it’s terrifying. And Dad stuff too it’s-“
“That’s not what I’m scared of,” I interrupted. “Well, I’m not not scared of that, but that’s not what I’m talking about right now.”
“Well what are you talking about? Have you been celibate for so long you’ve forgotten how to do it?”
“Chasen!” Slater scolded. “Let the boy talk.”
“Sorry. Go on, Jarrett.”
I sighed. “A friend of mine at work came to speak to me today saying there were rumors circulating around the school that I was dating Brent.”
“You are dating Brent.”
“I know that, Chase, that’s not the problem,” I said. “The problem is I haven’t told anyone at school and I teach Emery so it’s a conflict of interest. And something that, contractually, I definitely shouldn’t be doing.”
I heard someone sigh. I was pretty sure it was Slater. He knew that I was about to fuck this up if I wasn’t careful. At least one of them was paying attention.
“Why does this matter?” Chasen said. “You’re in love, surely she can find another teacher, what’s the big deal?”
“It’s more than that, Chasen,” Slater said, clearly exasperated by our middle brother. “You’ve not told anyone so now it’s a secret and if you get found out, you’ll be in even more trouble than if you just mentioned it first, right?”
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