by Louise Dawn
Antonio inwardly cursed. This family had gone through so much pain, which pounded palpably in the room like a relentless heartbeat. He should give them privacy, but he couldn’t tear himself away from Pearl’s side. He wouldn’t leave her to fight her past. She’d been alone for too long.
“You tried to… to kill yourself?”
“Fifty miles down the road, after leaving you. I purposely drove into a tree and landed in a coma for two weeks.”
“Let me guess—you lost your memory, and when you woke, you forgot that you had children?” Pearl’s bitterness revealed buried pain. “Oh, no, you didn’t forget because you gave up your parental rights. Right?”
“No. I never forgot. You were my miracles which I never deserved. My precious angels, who I abandoned so quickly in a crashing moment. Not a day went by where I didn’t scream your names—in here.” She tapped her head. “But my schizophrenic demons won, and I entered a psychiatric institution where I remained for a long time. That wasn’t the first time that I tried to take my life. And I hated myself for what I’d done to my precious kids. I thought you were better off with healthy parents.”
“Healthy parents…” Pearl swiveled to face her mother. “Healthy parents? Those never existed in my world. I would rather have been by your side. I loved you.” A sob had her clutching at the door handle. “You were my mommy—my world, and I loved you so damn much.”
Her mom steadied herself with a trembling hand on the table.
“My protector and my life disappeared. When you left us all alone, I couldn’t believe that you wouldn’t come back.” Pearl sunk to her haunches, and her devastation had Antonio circling to her side.
“I fought child services with everything I had when they took us from that diner, wanting to wait there forever. I knew you’d come back and save us. I couldn’t believe….”
“I’m so… so sorry.”
“I lost my voice that day—from all the screaming. And you never came.”
Antonio’s eyes burned as he wrapped an arm around Pearl’s shaking shoulders.
“And still I waited. For months—years. I imagined running into my mother’s arms.” Pearl swiped at her nose. “And then… and then I stopped waiting. I hated you… I hated you… I hated you. Every day, I was bullied and beaten and so damned scared. And I hated you.”
Coraline knelt before her sister, her agonized face reflecting the same suffering. Their mother turned and stood before her devastated daughter.
Pearl rocked out her pain. “Why can’t I hate you? It’s not fair.”
“Mom has an illness—a chronic mental health condition.” Coraline laid a hand on Pearl’s knee. “We didn’t know at the time, and maybe, if she’d been treated, life would have turned out differently. But that day… she imploded. Her hallucinations are very real and tremendously damaging. And at the time, she believed them to be true.”
“My medications now handle my condition, and it’s taken years to find the right treatments. I always have to watch for hallucinations, delusions, mania, and depression.”
Raising her head to look at the woman before her, Pearl leaned back, and Antonio steadied her with his arm. “When Coraline married Everett, you came back and found her. Why?”
“I wanted to see my children. A long time ago, I gave up my rights as a mother but seeing her happy….”
“It affirmed your decision?” Pearl stretched out her legs. “And now you live around the corner like nothing ever happened. Are you doing well?”
“I am.”
“Mom is a real estate agent, and she’s married to a lovely man. They’ve been together for many years.”
When Pearl moved to stand, Antonio rose and helped her up.
“Do you have other children?” Pearl asked stiffly.
“No. I married later in life. Listen, Pearl—”
“What’s your last name?”
“Wilson.”
“Meet Antonio Torres. Antonio, this is Shelly Wilson. I need air and Aysha.” Pearl pulled open the door and exited onto the patio.
Shelly and Coraline stood awkwardly, and he hesitated while deciding between following Pearl or giving her space. Shoving hands in pockets, he twisted to watch Pearl walk across the lawn.
Aysha and her cousins appeared, giggling as they ran along a path. She held some kind of bubble windmill stick and turned in a circle producing colorful bubbles. Spotting her mom, she happily skipped her way.
A hand touched the door glass, and Antonio turned to Shelly standing beside him, who now watched her family. She edged closer to the window with a transfixed gaze.
“I never thought I’d see her again.” She traced the door pane. “She’s so beautiful and look at my grandchildren.” Eyes shining with tears, Shelly smiled.
“Having Pearl in your life—that’s not your decision.” Antonio studied the older woman.
“I know. It’s hers, and I need to make up for all the hurt.”
“That may be an impossibility. Her life hasn’t been easy.” Antonio hated that fact. He kept imagining Pearl’s early years—arriving at an ill-run orphanage and trying to protect her sister—being beaten and bullied. A kid looking for love and landing as an unwanted adoptee. A decade of feeling rejected and despised. No wonder she’d run as far as she could to another continent.
“Are you her boyfriend?”
Antonio replied honestly. “If she’ll have me.” He reached for the door handle. “Coraline, do you have Aysha’s bag? We’ll exit around the back.”
Once Coraline had handed over Aysha’s things, he nodded goodbye and strode over to the two girls who meant the most.
“Look, Neo! I can make bubbles better than Seaton.” Aysha pulled a tongue in her cousin’s direction.
“Show me.” He watched as she dipped the bubble contraption in the soapy tray.
Antonio handed Aysha’s bag over to Pearl and then bent to lift the kid into his arms. “Hold tight; let’s turn real fast.”
Grinning, Aysha held out the bubble wand as he turned in circles. Swooping and twisting, he laughed at her delighted screams, finally stopping when the bubbles ceased.
“Wow, you’re definitely the bubble master. But drop the weapon; it’s time to go home.”
Grinning, Aysha tossed the wand.
“What do you want to eat?” He directed his question at Pearl, who fell in beside him as he headed to a side path. A couple of guards strolled the grounds, and one headed towards their exit. “Aside from a stiff glass of wine?”
“Can I also have wine?”
Pearl smiled. “No, Lovebug. Wine isn’t for kids and tastes yucky. Don’t you want a chocolate milkshake?”
“Can Shreddy have wine?”
“Depends.” Antonio ruffled Aysha’s hair. “How old is he?”
“Umm…”
Pearl held up four fingers. “I bought Shreddy when you were a babe.”
“Oh, he’s way too young.” Antonio ruffled Aysha’s hair. “He’s even younger than you! But I bet he doesn’t know how to unlock a car.”
“I can do that!” Aysha shouted.
Antonio placed her on the ground and handed her the keys and watched as she ran for the car. As Pearl passed, he reached out and grabbed her hand. Her fine tremble was hard to miss.
“Are you okay?”
She paused, and he squeezed her cool fingers.
“I think so. I knew we’d meet again someday. I’ve been preparing myself for years after knowing that she’d found Coraline. I couldn’t hide forever.”
Aysha pulled open a door before twirling in circles.
“Whether you decide to include Shelly in your world or not, you’ve grown into an exceptional human despite extreme adversity.” Antonio swung her around to face him. “Her past or future actions won’t change your fighting spirit or the fact that you’re an incredible mother to an awesome kid. You get to choose.”
“When I was a child, I knew that she wasn’t like other mommies—that she was sad inside. I t
ried so hard to be the best daughter. At the orphanage, I blamed myself for her disappearance, and thought I’d misbehaved somehow. But a schizoaffective disorder?” Pearl rubbed a hand through her short hair. “I had no hope in saving my mother. Today was both a good and bad day. I finally let go of that guilt that was buried inside. Her leaving was never my fault. But I also discovered how sick and scared she’d been for so long. Her leaving wasn’t her fault. I can’t imagine living in her untreated world filled with terrifying hallucinations and voices while also battling depression and manic episodes.”
Antonio wrapped her in a tight hug. “Take your time to sort through all those feelings. She’s not going anywhere.”
They stood in silence as Aysha drew in the sand with the key.
Pearl rested her chin on his chest and looked up. “Same goes for Rajin.”
“What do you mean?”
“He won’t change my fighting spirit, and he’ll pay for his crimes. I feel it in my gut.”
Holding her closer, Antonio stared out into the waning light. He wanted to share her optimism but couldn’t shake his unease.
Chapter Sixteen
“We’re moving to a safe house tomorrow.” Antonio had just stepped through the door, and Pearl paused, locking it behind him. She hadn’t seen him in two days since meeting her mother.
“Why? Have they found Rajin? Has he left Sri Lanka?”
“No. But your cover isn’t solid. You may be using your childhood name and new bank accounts. But you’re still traceable.”
Pearl glanced up the stairs. Aysha slept in her room. “Catching Rajin shouldn’t take so long.”
“He’s well connected and has more resources than first thought.” Antonio pulled off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. “Damn, it’s warm tonight.”
“What about your job? Who is involved in the clandestine operation?”
“I’m not using legal channels. According to the U.S. government, you’re not considered to be at risk.” Antonio walked to the kitchen, and she followed.
“So, you’re doing this on your own?”
He pulled open the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. Pearl noted how comfortable he was in her home. Over the months, she’d grown accustomed to his steady presence.
“Along with your brother-in-law. He’s providing the compound.” Antonio loosened his work tie.
“Compound?” Pearl’s mouth fell open.
“Compound—safehouse—a temporary fix while we set up your permanent identity. Why is your fridge empty?”
“Relax, I just got paid, and I’ll get groceries in the morning.” Pearl pulled out a stool and sat at the counter. “As far as a safe house goes, I guess I could argue that I obviously have a little say in the matter. That it’s my life, and you both have no right to shift me from place to place.”
Antonio twisted open the cap, his gaze holding a fiery challenge.
“But I trust both you and Everett with our lives. If you think a compound will protect my daughter, I’ll start packing.”
“This isn’t forever.” He placed the water down and gripped the edge of the counter.
“I know.”
“No, you don’t. I want Rajin erased as a threat. I’d like the opportunity to compete for space in your future life.”
“What are you saying?”
“I can wait for your world to settle. And when you’re ready to date, give us a chance.” His arm muscles flexed as his grip on the counter tightened, and Pearl pulled in a slow breath.
“In the meantime, let’s watch a movie.” Pushing away, he gestured towards the living room.
“It’s late.”
“Nine o’clock isn’t late. I promise I’ll behave.” Pausing at the sofa, he removed his bulky wallet, before snagging the larger couch. “I’ll even watch a sappy drama. Your choice.”
Rolling her eyes, Pearl grabbed the remote. The doorbell rang, and she frowned. The only person who dropped by was standing before her. No one ever rang the bell, especially this late at night.
“Expecting someone?”
Pearl shook her head at Antonio’s question, and he headed down the passage, his hand placed on the gun tucked at his back.
“Stay behind me.”
She did as asked as he stood to the side of the door before cautiously checking the peephole. His shoulders relaxed, and he glanced at Pearl. “It’s Shelly—your mother. Do you want to speak to her?”
“Coraline gave her my address. Nice.” Pearl crossed her arms, and Antonio waited.
Huffing out a breath, Pearl nodded. “Let me see what she has to say.”
He pulled open the door, and Pearl dropped her hands as she faced the older woman. Shelly still wore a familiar soft scent—reminding Pearl of her chaotic childhood. A year before she’d abandoned her kids, she’d bought the perfume.
Pearl had played with her mother’s perfume bottle embossed with a red flower, thinking the long thin bottle was the prettiest toy. Years later, Pearl had come across the bottle in a pharmacy. The sight had brought her to her knees. Flower by Kenzo. That was her mother’s powdery, musky signature scent. Again, Pearl wanted to collapse; instead, she stood frozen as her mom stepped from the muggy night.
Antonio closed the door and stood warily to the side.
“Could I have a minute alone with my daughter?”
“That’s Pearl’s decision.”
She didn’t want privacy and wanted him to stay, but she’d been avoiding and yet wanting this moment for her entire life. An unrushed moment where she would spew out her festering thoughts and tell her mother how she felt.
“I’ll be fine. What time are you coming in the morning?”
“I’ll be here at nine.” He nodded at the two women before quietly leaving, and Pearl curled her fists, wanting to escape with the gorgeous agent.
“Where’s Aysha?”
“Sleeping. It’s late. Coraline told her that you’re her grandmother. Without my permission.”
“We had no choice—her cousins know me as Grandma.”
“The two of you are unbelievable. That’s all Aysha has spoken about—the fact that she now has a grandparent.” Pearl stepped close. “You can hurt me as much as needed, but if you do the same to Aysha—”
“You’re a wonderful mother. I’m so proud of you.”
Huffing out a laugh, Pearl shook her head. “How do you know what kind of mother I am? How would you know? When last did you see me? When I was seven? I could be the worst mom in the world.”
Tears spilled from Shelly’s eyes—the same color eyes as Pearl’s. Swallowing her own tears, Pearl stared at the wall.
“We… we have a lot to work through.” Shelly’s words grated. “I know that I’ve caused so much damage and that you’ve had a rougher time than—”
“Than my beautiful sister. You could say that. What do you want? Joint therapy sessions? Do you want to be my best friend?” Pearl shook a frustrated fist. “I understand that this was not your fault—that you’re ill and battling a lifelong condition. I’m so sorry, but….” Pearl turned and paced. “But… we can’t make up for that lost time.”
“I want to be in your life.”
“I don’t know if I want that.” Pearl had to be honest. “I don’t need a mother anymore. I prayed for one for many years. I craved and missed your hugs. Missed my mother. But the memories eventually faded.”
“I’ll never stop being your mom. I love you.”
“Then why didn’t you come back? After getting treatment? Why didn’t you find us and rescue your children?”
“I hated myself so much—I thought—”
“That we’d be better off. That’s a lie. Children need their mothers—the one person who’d fight to the death for her young. Instead, you elected to stay away until we were adults.”
Shelly grabbed Pearl’s wrist, desperation leaking along with tears. “Please, listen—”
A crash towards the back of the condo had both women pausing.
&n
bsp; “What was that?”
Pearl wondered the same thing. Did something fall in the kitchen? Another bang, and they both stepped back. Was someone trying to break in? The condo had sturdy double locks on both the front and back doors.
The front door shuddered, and Shelly screamed. Pearl raced to the closet. “Go upstairs and grab Aysha. Lock yourselves in the bathroom and call 911.”
“Come up with me!”
Grabbing a baseball bat, she backed Shelly towards the stairs, “I need to buy us some time.”
“You’re all out of time, honey.” Shadows moved up the dark passage, and through her rising terror, Pearl registered the familiar voice.
Three men dressed all in black stepped into the living room light, and Pearl gasped. Two wore masks, and one did not. His sly smile had her shaking hands tightly gripping the bat. Mind spinning, she blinked at the supposed friendly face. Except he wasn’t here as a friend. The way he moved—the way his buddies circled her reminded her of a pack of wolves.
Pearl tried to speak. “Antonio…”
“Is a fool. I didn’t want to break his heart, but here I am.”
“Why… who are you?”
“I’m a businessman. Your boyfriend got in the way. Of all the fucking agents to escort you back to the States? Snax was the one? Do you know how I felt when I recognized his name on the passenger manifest?”
With a confident swagger, Bronco stepped around the coffee table and closed in on the two women. Pearl had seen him in action, and she was no match for his lethal fighting skills. He’d kill her in a heartbeat.
“You… you work… you.” Her knees shook so badly that she could barely stand.
“Finish your damn sentence. Yes. I work for Rajin. And yes, I found you weeks ago. I wanted to snatch you away at the splash pad.”
“You bastard. You won’t get near my child.”
“Come quietly. Do you really want Aysha traumatized by this retrieval? She’s a cute kid. Cooperate, and she’ll be fine.”
“Pearl, what’s going on?” Shelly’s voice trembled, and she edged up a stair.
“Bad timing on your part.” Bronco waggled a finger. “Visiting your traitorous friend who’s stolen a child from a powerful daddy.”