I frown at her and nod. My feelings about her are incredibly mixed. I’m not as mad as I used to be, but I can’t forgive her either.
“You really should call before you drop by,” Carter tells his mom, his gaze on me. I feel bad instantly. I just know he’d have been happy to have her over had I not been here. Is this what our life is going to be like? Carter just having to choose between his family’s happiness and mine, every single day?
Kate places her hand against the wall, a drop of sweat running down her temple. She closes her eyes and drops to the floor, a small groan escaping her lips. I jump into action without thinking and wrap my arm around her, worry overtaking me.
“Kate,” I whisper. “What’s going on?” I press my hand against her forehead, but her temperature is fine.
Helen drops the jar she’s holding, the glass shattering on the floor. She barely even notices it as it crunches underneath her shoes. She cups Kate’s cheeks, her eyes wide and panicked. “Catherine,” she murmurs.
Kate blinks, and a tear drops down her cheek as Helen frantically checks her body. “Are you bleeding?” she asks, her voice high. She pulls Kate’s t-shirt up, revealing a large and relatively fresh sutures, and I gasp.
“It’s you?” I whisper. “You’re the donor?”
Chapter 63
Emilia
My mind is whirling as Carter carries Kate to Dad’s treatment room. Dad’s nurse, Greta, jumps into action and examines her. Kate looks anguished the entire time, her eyes moving from me to the floor, over and over again. Years may have passed, but her silence still speaks volumes to me. She never intended for me to find out.
“I just need my pain medication,” she tells the nurse, and Helen nods.
Carter looks at his parents, his entire body tense. “You knew about this?”
Helen and William look down, unable to face him. “It was her decision. She’s an adult. It wasn’t my place to tell you.”
Carter grits his teeth and shakes his head as he walks out of the room. I’m tempted to follow him, but instead I sit down next to Kate. She’s trembling and shaking her head, and I turn to the nurse.
“Her dose is four pills, but she’ll only take one. It’s no wonder she’s in pain.”
Kate bursts into tears, but she’s trying so hard to keep from crying that she’s choking on her sobs, hurting her stomach even more.
I lean in and cup her cheeks, wiping at her tears with my thumbs. “Look at me,” I say. Her eyes find mine, and she calms just a little. “You’re fine, Kate. You won’t get addicted to these pills. You do, however, need to take them right now. You’ll hurt yourself more if you won’t. You hear me?”
She nods, but I see the fear in her eyes. I look up at the nurse and sigh. “Do we have an IV we can give her?”
She shakes her head anxiously. “Her medication is very specific. We don’t. I’m sorry, ma’am.”
I sigh and shake my head. “It’s fine,” I say, holding my hand out. “Give them to me.”
Greta hands me the bottle of pills and I take out three. “You’ve had one pill, and you’re going to have three more,” I tell Kate.
Kate shakes her head, panic gripping her. Her breathing is erratic, and I can tell she’s on the cusp of hysteria. I grab her chin, my grip tight, and look into her eyes. “If you’re going to do this, you’re going to do it properly,” I tell her, my tone threatening. “You see it through to the end. That includes you healing well. Did you forget who your brother is? If he wants to cut off your access to these pills he can. You think any pharmacy will sell to you? You think any dealer will dare speak to you?”
Kate’s eyes clear little by little, and I can tell she’s listening to me. “You’re going to take these pills, and you’re going to give yourself a chance to heal properly. If you’re scared of the meds, I’ll be there every step of the way. I’ll keep them, okay? I’ll only give you your doses at the exact times you’re supposed to have them.”
I see a spark of hope in her eyes and I smile at her. “You’d do that?” she asks, and I nod.
“I promise,” I say, handing her three pills.
Kate stares at them before inhaling deeply and taking them. I hand her a glass of water, and she takes it with trembling hands.
I breathe a sigh of relief when she swallows the pills. All these years I was convinced I hated her, yet I still can’t bear to see her in pain.
Someone drops a hand to my shoulder, and I look up to find Carter standing beside me. He looks much calmer now, and I relax under his touch as I turn back to face Kate.
“Why’d you do it?” I ask, my voice soft.
She looks into my eyes, and all I can see is guilt.
“I owed it to you. I… Emilia, I’m so sorry. The things I’ve done, the things I’ve said. If I was the only one that lost you then maybe, just maybe, I could accept that those were just the consequences of my actions. But it wasn’t just me, Emilia. My mother makes your favorite cake every year for your birthday. Your father stares at photos of you growing up for hours. He misses you every second of every day. And Carter? Carter stopped living the second you left. He just exists. My selfish actions ruined so many lives, including my own. I can’t turn back time, Emilia. I can’t undo what I’ve done, and I won’t ever be able to make it right. But this… this was something that might make a small difference. I might not be able to give you back the time you lost, but at least I could give you more years with your Dad. It isn’t enough. It won’t ever be enough. But it’s the least I could do.”
I stare at her, seeing her in a new light for the first time in years. I can tell the guilt she’s living with wrecked her. It eats at her, at who she used to be. When I look at her, all I see is a shell of the girl I used to love like she was my own sister.
“I’m going to try my best to forgive you,” I whisper. “Things won’t ever be the same between us. I doubt we’ll ever even have any relationship to speak of. But I’m done with the hate, the pain, the regrets. I’m done living in the past. I’ll try to forgive you, Kate, but I won’t ever forget what you did.”
She nods and bites down on her lip as a tear runs down her cheeks.
“That includes the past, but it also includes you donating a kidney to my father. It includes the food you left on my porch, the wine in the treehouse. All of it.”
My heart wrenches painfully when I look at her. She looks up sharply, disbelief and hope warring in her eyes.
I tighten my hand around her bottle of pills and hold it up for her to see. “I’m keeping this,” I tell her as I rise from my seat. “I’ll get one of the guest rooms prepared for you so the nurses can keep an eye on your condition. It’s best if you stay here for a while. I’ll give you your pills personally. Consider it a thank you for what you did for my father.”
She nods at me, her eyes wide. I turn to find Carter looking at me, his eyes filled with emotions I can’t quite place. He smiles at me gratefully and I look down as I walk out of the room, my heart in complete chaos, all over again.
Chapter 64
Emilia
I stand just outside Kate’s bedroom door, my heart hammering in my chest. I still find it hard to believe she donated a kidney to my father. For so many years I’ve hated her, convinced she’d never change. Convinced I’d never be able to forgive her. Yet here I stand, every thread of hatred slowly unravelling, reluctant gratefulness replacing it. I never thought that she might be suffering right alongside me, that the guilt might be eating her alive. I’ve grown so much as a person over the years, yet I was convinced she didn’t. I rest my forehead against the door and inhale deeply. I’m feeling so incredibly conflicted.
I jump when I feel an arm wrap around my waist, and my eyes flutter closed when Carter’s scent envelops me. He leans in, his chest against my back, and he lifts my hair out of the way. He presses a soft kiss against the back of my neck, and a shiver runs down my spine.
“Just go in,” he whispers. “She’d love it if you did. You don’
t have to restrict yourself to only going in to give Kate her pills.”
He trails a path down my neck with his nose before pressing another kiss on the hollow of my throat. I melt against him and turn to kiss him. He smiles against my lips and deepens the kiss as I rise to my tiptoes. We’re both panting by the time I pull away, smiles on both our faces.
Carter presses a kiss to my forehead, his lips lingering. “Go on,” he murmurs. “Go in. I’ve got to run to the office. I’ll see you at dinner.”
I nod and rise to my tiptoes to kiss him. He pulls away reluctantly and looks at me with so much love in his eyes that my heart skips a beat. He smirks and pecks my lips one more time before walking away, leaving me standing in front of Kate’s room.
I’m nervous as I knock on the door. It’s obvious she didn’t expect me, because she sits up in bed and then groans in pain.
“Emilia,” she whispers. “I’m sorry. I thought it was Mom.” She glances at the alarm clock on her bedside table and frowns. “Is it time for my meds already? I thought I had another hour.”
I shake my head and walk to the chair Helen placed beside her bed. “It’s not. I just thought I’d see how you were doing,” I say, a tentative smile on my face.
Kate blinks in surprise and then smiles. “I’m good. Carter and you are taking such good care of me. I adore Mom, but it’s so stressful to have her around. The nurses are really great.”
I nod. “They were amazing with Dad too.”
“How is he feeling?”
I relax in my seat, my smile genuine this time. “Honestly, it’s like he’s a whole new man. He’s far more alive than he ever was before he got sick. He’s filled with light, with happiness. I’ve never seen him this way.” I glance at her and bite down on my lip. “And I owe it to you. Thank you, Kate.”
Her eyes widen and she holds her hands up. “Oh no, don’t. Don’t thank me, Emilia. I… I’ve spent years thinking of ways to make things right, but I was too much of a coward. It was easier to run from my problems and pretend everything I did never happened. I pursued a life of my own, and I even ended up getting married, however briefly, in my pursuit of a new life. But in the meantime, Carter’s life stood still. He forged ahead with his career, but much like your dad, he wasn’t truly alive. Not in the way he was when you were around. The kidney donation… it’s the least I could do, Emilia.”
I study her and then look down at my lap. “Milly. You can call me Milly. And did you really get married?”
I look up at her to find her looking at me, hope and disbelief in her eyes. She nods slowly, a smile slowly spreading on her cheeks. “It’s a long story,” she murmurs.
“Let’s call it even, okay?” I say.
Kate looks at me, brows raised.
“Let’s both stop living in the past. It won’t help either of us. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I no longer feel like you took some precious years from me… but if not for you, I’d have lost my father. You might have taken some years away from me, but you gave me others in return. Carter and I… we’ll be okay.”
Kate looks at me, curiosity lighting up her eyes. “You’ll be okay? Does that mean you aren’t leaving?”
I smile at her. “No, I’m not. I haven’t found a way to tell him yet, though.”
Kate frowns, a worried expression on her face. “You should probably tell him soon,” she murmurs.
I raise my brows in question, and she blanches. “What do you mean?”
Kate looks away, but not before I catch the brief flash of panic in her eyes. I bite down on my lip as hundreds of terrible scenarios run through my mind. Is he expecting me to leave? Has he been waiting for it?
Kate looks at me and shakes her head. “Nothing like that,” she says. “You still wear the exact same expression when you’re overthinking things,” she says, a smile on her face. “It’s just… he’s already bought a plot of land in London. Asher and he are gathering more investors so they can expand their company to England… so Carter can be with you.”
I stare at her in disbelief. “What?”
Kate nods. “The boss I currently work for, Alyssa Devereaux, is one of his investors. She and her husband are investing in Carter’s London office,” she says. “I totally understand it too. You’ve sacrificed so much for us, it’s about time someone does the same for you.”
I run a hand through my hair, my heart racing. “But there’s nothing there for me. It’s just a job. I’ve been far happier working for Clarke Reed. Besides, my dad is here and he loves it here. He won’t want to leave, and truthfully, neither do I.”
Kate bites down on her lip and nods. “You should talk to him, I think. From what I understand, he wanted to surprise you with all of this, so you wouldn’t have a chance to say no. I think he wanted to keep you from making another sacrifice by staying here for him.”
I smile to myself and shake my head. “This man,” I murmur, and Kate grins at me.
“You know what he’s like,” she says. “When it comes to you, he’s always been dramatic.”
I smirk and cross my arms over each other. “I guess it’s my turn to be truly dramatic,” I say, a mischievous smile on my face.
Kate looks at me, apprehension in her eyes. “Oh, Milly,” she murmurs. “What are you planning now?”
I rise to my feet, my heart hammering in my chest. “You’ll find out soon enough. Do me a favor, though. Call Carter in exactly one hour and tell him to come home. Be dramatic.”
Chapter 65
Carter
I glance at my watch, my stomach fluttering. I need everything to be perfect tonight. It feels like I’ve been planning this for half my life.
My phone rings, and I frown when I realize it’s Kate. “Hey,” I murmur, a tinge of worry coursing through me. She rarely calls me, and when she does, something is often wrong.
“Carter,” she says, her voice soft. “Um, it’s Emilia. She’s, uh, she’s acting a bit strange. I’m not sure how to explain. Can you please come home? I don’t know what’s going on.”
I freeze. “What do you mean?” I ask, unease running down my spine. “You need to explain better, Kate. How is she acting weird?” I ask as I rush towards my car.
I hear some rustling, and then the call ends. I glance at my phone in disbelief and call her back, but her phone is turned off.
I’m worried sick as I rush home, and my unease builds as I walk into the house to find it entirely empty and dark. I walk towards the stairs and pause in surprise. There’s a path of candles leading up the stairs, and near every candle I find a photo of Emilia and me. It starts off with photos of us as children, and as I walk up the stairs, the photos cover our teenage years, before leading to our time in college by the time I reach the top of the stairs.
My heart is racing as I follow the path to my bedroom, the room I’ve very much come to consider jointly mine and Emilia’s. I laugh at the items on the floor. In between the candles are fake little cockroaches, sticky notes with a car drawn on, and even a bottle of Nair. I’m biting down on my lip to stay in control over my emotions as I open my bedroom door.
Emilia is standing in the middle of our room, looking like an absolute vision amongst the dozens of candles. She’s wearing a red evening gown that looks stunning on her, and my heart skips a beat.
She smiles at me nervously and I walk up to her, equally nervous. Emilia slides her arms up my chest and around my neck. She pulls me closer and I bend down, my lips hovering over hers. Her eyes flutter closed and she rises to her tiptoes, her lips brushing against mine. I exhale in delight when she kisses me, her tongue darting over my lips. I deepen our kiss, wanting all of her. She’s got me feeling emotional and needy. Emilia pulls away with a smile on her face, her arms around my neck. She looks into my eyes with so much love that I can’t help but count my blessings.
“Carter Clarke,” she whispers. “You and I have made so many memories together. You were my first nemesis, my first kiss, my first lover, my one and only
love. We’ve been through so much together, and repeatedly, life has tried to tear us apart. For a little while, it did. But what’s eight years compared to a lifetime?”
She pulls away a little, her palms sliding down my chest. She grabs my hand and cradles it in both of hers, pulling our joined hands to her lips. She kisses my knuckles and looks up at me, and I see my future in her eyes.
“Right here in this house is where I want to make the rest of our memories. Carter, will you spend the rest of your life making memories with me? Carter… will you marry me?”
I grin and drop my forehead to hers. This girl… I bury my shaking hands in her hair and pull her in for a kiss roughly. I kiss her with all I’ve got, eliciting a moan from her. By the time I pull away she’s panting, her eyes glassy with lust. “Yes, Minx,” I murmur. “I told you I’d marry you years ago. I always knew I would.”
I bend down and lift her into my arms. She gasps and I grin as I carry her out of our bedroom. I find Kate and John hovering by the door, both of them jumping when I open the door. I narrow my eyes at Kate, but the effect is diminished by the huge grin I’m wearing. “I’ll deal with you later,” I say, but she doesn’t look intimidated in the slightest.
I walk past both of them with Emilia in my arms, and John shouts, “and?”, after which Kate shouts, “did he say yes?”
I carry Emilia out of the house before she can even reply. She giggles as I place her in the passenger seat of my car. I press a kiss to her lips as I buckle her in, and she’s beaming.
She turns to look at me as I step into the car, and she takes my fucking breath away. She’s so beautiful, even more so tonight.
“Where are we going?” she asks, and I shake my head.
The Ruins Of Us (Mayhem Book 3) Page 25