by Eva Haining
“Sorry, we need to get stealthier about it. We just want to help.” His smile is genuine with no hint of humor.
“You don’t need to be stealthy. I need to learn to be around people having a couple of drinks. I’m not saying we have a wild night of boozing, but if I ever want to gig with the band again, I have to stop shutting myself away from a bottle of beer in someone else’s hand.”
“Are you ready for that?”
“I don’t know. At least if it’s you guys, you’re not going to be shoving a bottle in my hand and coaxing me to chug it. I just mean, if we’re all sitting around the dining table chatting, you guys can have a beer or a glass of wine, and I can stick to soda.”
“We can do that, but if you feel uncomfortable at any point, you have to tell me, and we can go back to the sippy cups. Turns out you’re cool enough to hang out with even when I’m not drunk as a skunk.” There’s the Jax I know and love.
“The feeling is mutual. But, if you ever mention finding Ellie a date again, I’ll be smashing the beer bottles on your face. Sound fair?”
He throws his head back, a hearty chuckle rattling in his throat. “Okay, John Wayne. It’s cute that you think you’d have a chance in a fight with me. I could bench press you… with one hand.”
“Fuck off. I’m slim.” I lift my shirt to reveal an eight pack.
“My eyes! Put that shit away. Is this how you impress girls? If you haven’t noticed, I’m not a fangirl, and if I want to stare at a killer set of abs, I’ll stand in front of a mirror.”
Just as he lifts his shirt with a smirk on his face, his wife, Savannah, comes walking out of the therapy center. “Put those abs away, Jax. They’re mine.” She has a playful grin, making her way toward us with their youngest kid wrapped around her like a koala hugging a tree.
His eyes light up at the sight of them.
“You know it, darlin’. I’ll give you a private show later.”
“Damn straight, lover. The kids are staying at Mad’s tonight.”
He drops the pitchfork. “Don’t toy with me, woman.”
“All… night… long.” She knows exactly what she does to him, even though they’ve been married for years. They flirt like newlyweds—the first flush of love and lust evident in the sparkle of their eyes. I don’t think they even register that I’m still here.
“I’m going to head out. I’ll see you both tonight. Right?”
“We’ll be there, snowflake. I can’t promise for how long. I might have to take my wife home to an empty house and make her scream my name.” He doesn’t afford me even a cursory glance, his gaze so firmly fixed on Sav.
“Good for you guys. I’m going to take my third-wheel ass home.”
I leave them to it, the heat between them too much for anyone to exist in their vicinity. How amazing that must be to have someone who makes you want to tear their clothes off long after the honeymoon phase is over, carried away on the wings of youth.
As I slip the soft, worn-in leather of my guitar strap over my head, I’m transported back to the last time the band played here in K Falls. We’d just signed our record deal, and I was flying high and high as a kite. Those memories are fragmented and hazy at best. Belle was still talking to me, and I had convinced myself I didn’t have a problem.
I can almost guarantee I slept with some random woman who I couldn’t pick out in the crowd tonight if my life depended on it. It’s not until now, standing here with Ellie at my side, that regret floods my senses.
“Are you ready?” I snap back to the here and now, nerves taking hold for the first time in my career. I clutch the neck of my guitar, my knuckles turning white.
“I don’t want to make an ass of myself in front of the entire town. I have nowhere else to go. K Falls is my one chance to fit in.”
She moves in front of me, resting her hands on my shoulders. “You’re not going to make an ass of yourself. You’re an incredibly talented man. You already have a place in this town with me.”
Suddenly I don’t give a shit about performing. “What?”
“As my friend. And you have a place with Mad and Jax. The whole group. You have a home. I think you fit in.” She holds my gaze longer than she should, and before it goes any further, she turns her head to see the crowd waiting for me.
“Thanks. That was an embarrassing meltdown. I’d really appreciate it if you ignore it and just watch me play. I’m much cooler on stage.”
“I think you’re pretty cool already. You’ll be amazing, and if you get nervous when you’re up there, I’ll be in the front row cheering you on.”
“I like the sound of that.” Every cell in my body wants to kiss her, and it takes everything I have to hold steady, taking a deep breath, the scent of her perfume tantalizing my senses.
“Good luck.” She pushes herself up onto her tiptoes, planting a chase kiss on my cheek before leaving to take her seat.
My whole body reacts, a visceral desire sweeping through me, radiating from my cheek and out through my fingertips. There it is—the adrenaline I’ve missed—except this time it’s not for the gig I’m about to play, it is for her.
As I jog up the steps onto the small stage, the place explodes. It’s standing room only. The entire population of K Falls is here, chanting and clapping for me. Me. Faces who have welcomed me, served me food, and opened their homes and hearts to me. In this moment, looking out at everyone, a strange wave washes over me—a sense of home I’ve never felt before.
“Good evening, K Falls. Thank you for coming out tonight. I know y’all are busy with the day-to-day of keeping this town running.”
Jax stands up in the front row, throwing his arms in the air. “He said it! Y’all. I did it and created Frankenstein’s cowboy. He’s alive!”
The crowd erupts as he starts blowing me kisses.
“Thanks for that, Jax. I know it’s hard for you when you’re not the center of attention. I’m glad I could give you a reason to make tonight about you.” He knows I’m just kidding around, and, of course, he laps it up.
“If you think for a second that tonight is about you, you really don’t understand this town. I am the sun. It all revolves around me.” He turns and winks at the crowd, the women wolf-whistling and shouting his name. “See?”
“Guys, I think we need to teach Jax a lesson. I’ll take one for the team and make sure the ladies are focused on me.” The guys are now clapping for me, making Jax descend into a fit of laughter.
“Show us what you’ve got, Johnny.” He overexaggerates a bow of deference, and for the first time, I know I’ve found real friends here—even if one of them is an idiot. A brilliant goofball. My nerves are gone, and when his eyes catch mine, I realize he did it on purpose. He wanted to put me at ease.
“This one’s called “Wherever You Are.” I hope you guys like it.” As I strum the first chord, my blood pumps hard in my veins, and a rush of adrenaline consumes me as if a small piece of me has been restored. I close my eyes and let the music take over, healing my broken soul. As the lyrics pour out into the night, they’re like a waterfall cascading over jagged rocks, slowly smoothing the rough edges, calming the storm that’s been raging inside me for so long, I barely recognize the feeling.
I’m content.
Eight
Ellie
Mesmerized by the deep warmth of his voice as he sings, I can’t take my eyes off him. Since we met, I’ve listened to his music, but most of Beyond New York’s songs are sung by his sister, Belle. She has an amazing voice but watching him now—alone on stage—his talent is astronomical.
His voice is rich and sumptuous like a spoonful of warm chocolate fudge cake with a sinful mouth of freezing vanilla ice cream. The mix of hot and cold is the only way I can describe what he does to me. I know he’s bad for me, but I want him all the same.
The lyrics of each song are profound, his inner turmoil laced into every note. His performance is haunting, fragile emotion gripping the crowd. I see so much strength in him as he
lets his heart soar. Now, I understand why he can’t just walk away from music and the precarious position it puts him in. To leave such a gift behind is unthinkable.
His words are beautiful. The way his fingers caress the strings is stunning. He is simply breathtaking. At times, I close my eyes, letting his voice envelop me, everyone and everything that surrounds me fading into the background. It’s almost an out-of-body experience. I could listen to him sing forever and never tire of his sultry tones.
He plays various songs, some of which I’ve come to know and love over the past few weeks. However, the ones he’s been writing and is performing for the first time tonight—there’s a warmth inside me and a sense of wonder that I get to be here and listen to his art, experiencing it new and raw, and it’s so obviously close to his heart.
“Thanks for letting me play for y’all tonight.”
“There it is again!” Jax heckles.
“This last track is for everyone who has welcomed me to this town with open arms. It’s called “Hometown.” I hope you enjoy it.”
You could hear a pin drop as the residents of Kingsbury Falls wait with bated breath, ready to listen to Johnny’s ode to their close-knit community. He shifts his guitar a little, his pick hanging from his lip, every inch the rock star. When he reaches for it, his eyes find mine, and a thrill courses through me.
“I believe you have an admirer.” I’d almost forgotten A.B. was sitting next to me. Heck, I forgot about the whole crowd. Johnny has held my attention, completely spellbound by every note.
“We’re just friends.”
“Bull hockey.” She eyes me warily before she continues, “You like him too. I can see it in your eyes.”
“Friends. That’s all. He’s not in a position to start anything.”
“But if he was?”
I turn my attention back to the man singing his heart out in front of me and confess, “I’d lick every last inch of his delicious body and ride him until he begged for mercy.” I don’t chance a glance in her direction. She’s one of the few people I can let loose with and say anything.
“Friends, it is. For now.”
“You’re a doctor. You know why I’m holding back. You told me to stay away from him.”
“Yeah, but I know how it feels to walk away from someone I love.”
“No one said anything about love.” I keep my eyes forward.
“So it’s a purely physical attraction?”
“No.” I take a deep, shuddering breath. The answer is so simple, and yet it has me tangled up inside. “It’s not just that at all. What should I do?”
“Is he your patient?”
“No, but he’s someone’s patient right now, and if he were mine, I’d be advising him not to start something unless he’s sure about how he feels and knows he can handle it.”
“You’re an amazing doctor and a wonderful friend, Ellie. I’m not telling you to bed him or wed him, but if you have genuine feelings for him, all I’m saying is, don’t close yourself off. Sometimes life and our sense of timing don’t see eye to eye.”
“How did you know you were ready to try again with Mad?”
“I didn’t. I blew it with him, and when I came back here, still filled with regret after a decade apart, I had no idea he’d moved back. I was lucky. It could’ve turned out differently, and I wouldn’t have all this.” She looks to where Mad is sitting with all three kids hanging off him. His oldest stands behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck with such gentle awe. The two younger ones have each perched on a knee, and the look of contentment in Mad’s eyes is something to see—bliss.
“It all worked out for you. I’m so happy.”
“Just don’t let an opportunity to love and be loved pass you by. That’s all I ask. Maybe it’s not him, but sometime soon, you’re going to meet someone who sets your heart on fire. When that day comes, whoever he is, be open to it.”
“Yeah. Maybe someday.” My gaze returns to Johnny, and I’m met with his intense ice-blue stare. “Maybe someone.”
When he strums the last chord, I jump to my feet, clapping and wolf-whistling for him, and a huge smile spreads across his chiseled features. The rest of the crowd follows suit, giving him a standing ovation.
“Thanks, everyone. Good night.” He sets his guitar down before being inundated by enthusiastic townsfolk. Everyone is congratulating him, praising their favorite song of the night, and there are more than a few dinner invites from the single ladies. I’m not too proud to admit I listen intently to his responses. He keeps his answers vague. Thank you. How kind of you. I’m glad you enjoyed the show. When the fangirls finally subside, he takes his leave, making a beeline for me.
My stomach is churning, nerves and desire mingling together, making my hands tremble as he strides toward me with that confident swagger. When he reaches me, I’m caught off guard. He lifts me and spins me around, his arms wrapped tight around me.
“Thank you so much for pushing me to do this. I feel… fuck, I don’t even know. Amazing. Like myself again. The good version.” His elation is contagious, and I find myself giggling like a silly schoolgirl as he continues to spin me until we’re both dizzy.
“You were so incredible tonight. I loved every song, every line. Beautiful.” He sets me down on my feet, our lips mere inches apart. “Just… beautiful.”
“I had… inspiration.” His voice is more gruff than usual, singing for so long, giving more gravel to every word. My breath is ragged, anticipation unfurling deep in my core.
“Do you want to do something? Go somewhere? Come back to my place?” I’m going to hell for this, but even if it’s only for one night, I want him.
“I can’t.” And just like that, my hopes are dashed. He reads the disappointment on my face. “I’ve been promised a wild afterparty.”
“Oh.”
“Chips and queso here on the ranch. Virgin margaritas to get that post-performance buzz, and if that’s not enough, the kids are going to let me watch Mulan with them.” I can’t help but smile.
“Sounds like a great way to celebrate. Maybe we can catch up at some point this week?”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“You have plans. I just wanted to tell you how awesome you were tonight. You’re a very talented man, Johnny Reed. I wish you realized just how special you are.”
“How about you tell me over chips and queso? I might even let you sit next to me for the movie.” He offers his hand to me, a vulnerability I’ve never seen before evident in his sultry gaze.
“Dinner and a movie? You’ll spoil me. Any date I go on now will pale in comparison.”
“This is our first date?”
“No. I… I meant dates in general. Just a joke.” Why does he give me foot-in-mouth syndrome? I’m a strong, confident, and accomplished woman.
“Trust me, the next date you go on will be magical.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because it’ll be with me. It might be a day, a week, or months from now, but it’ll be me.” He slides his hand into mine before leading me toward the main ranch house. We walk in silence, the very air between us crackling with tangible, electric energy.
“Can I call you Unci Johnny?” Mad’s youngest crawled up into Johnny’s lap as soon as the movie started, and he’s been parked there ever since. It’s adorable. I can tell Johnny is a little uneasy, but he doesn’t let on that he’s not too comfortable around kids.
“Sure, if your mom and dad are cool with it.” He looks to Mad and A.B., who aren’t even listening. They’re too busy staring into each other’s eyes and stealing soft kisses.
“Daddy lets me call Unci Jax… Unci. And I have Unci Jasp, Unci Kirby, and Unci Knox.”
“Wow, you have lots of uncles. What a lucky boy.” His voice is gentle, warm, and inviting. I think he’s getting the hang of this.
“Yep. And now I have Unci Johnny.”
“And I have a nephew. Do you know what his name is?”
Mad
’s little mini me, clone of a boy, leans in as if he’s about to be privy to a big, exciting secret. “What’s his name?”
“Bobby.”
“That’s me! That’s me!” He bounces for joy.
“You’re my first ever nephew. How cool is that?”
Bobby throws his arms around Johnny’s neck and squeezes him tight. “I’m number one. That means I’m the winner.”
“I think I’m the winner, little man.” There’s such genuine affection in Johnny’s voice, I’m almost certain my ovaries just exploded. Kaboom!
As the ending credits role, A.B. drags herself away from Mad just long enough to wrangle the kids—hers and Jax’s. “Okay, kiddos, time for bed. Say goodnight and go get washed up, PJs on.”
“Aww, Momma.” Bobby crosses his arms in front of his chest, trying to furrow his brow. “Just a little longer? Or can Unci Johnny stay for a spend-the-night?”
“Not tonight, baby boy. You need your sleep, and I think Uncle Johnny is tired after playing all his songs. He needs good rest too.”
“O-kay.” How does anyone ever say no to this kid? His tiny, pouty lip is more than I can take. I’ll be a terrible mother, giving my kids anything they want if they hit me up with the puppy-dog eyes. He jumps down off Johnny’s knee and drags his heels as he heads upstairs. “Will you come say good night, Unci Johnny?”
“Sure thing. Now, do as your momma says, and go get ready. Remember to brush those teeth real good.”
“Yay!” He scurries the rest of the way, shouting to his sisters that he’s getting a bedtime story from his new uncle.
“You don’t need to do that, Johnny.” A.B. is quick to give him an out.
“I’d be happy to. He’s a great kid.”
“Only if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.” As he heads over to the stairs, I pull my friend in for a hug.