by Mansi Negi
"Why lie to me Jonas?" I asked, rubbing my hand over his hair in the back soothingly.
"Because he lived with you, I didn't want you to be afraid. I wanted you to have a normal life. Also, because... tears let loose over his bottom lids. Daniel wasn't actually dead when I started the fire. I thought he was, I swear it! I can still hear him screaming when I close my eyes." He sunk his face into his hands and sobbed again.1
Oh my god! This was so much worse, than I ever could have realized.
"So, is that why you couldn't be with me then, after you left, is it because of Tyler?" Everything was starting to make sense.
Jonas looked at me thoughtfully before he responded.
"Yes, He promised to leave you alone if I did, but when you showed up at my apartment." He stopped himself.
"It's not your fault Lyla, you didn't know." He read the look on my face.” He had to have followed you, so he wasn't holding up on his end of the deal already."
"How is it not my fault?" I sobbed.
"Tristan is dead, and it's because of me. I hate him Jonas. I want him dead. I hate him so much." I didn't even recognize my own strangled voice.2
"I'm going to kill him." Jonas said simply, void of all emotion.
"Let's leave, let's leave together now, just you and I. No one else needs to get hurt. We can run away." I said and meant it. I wanted to run away with Jonas right now.
"You would do that for me? You would give up your life and college, your family, for me?" He asked, staring at me intently. I could convince him right now to do this.
I needed to, I didn't want to be without him anymore and I didn't want my parents or my friends to get hurt.
"You can't protect everyone Jonas, if we leave and he follows we can lead him away from everyone and disappear." I held his gaze and looked pleadingly at him.
"I can't ask you to do that Lyla." He said, and I started to see a look of resolution on his face.
"Please..." I whispered, bringing my lips to his. "Please..." I whispered again as I closed my eyes, unable to watch him pulling away from me again.
"I can't Lyla, I'm going to find him and kill him. I have to, for Tristan.
I love you Lyla, I'll always love you, but I need you to understand that I may not come back from this and if I take you with me.
I can't do what I need to. I need you to move on with your life and be happy.
" He wiped a tear from my cheek. "I'll keep you protected, but I'm going to hunt him down and kill him." I could see that he honestly didn't think he would return from what he had planned. I wanted to plead with him more not to do it, but I understood it. I understood his pain and anger and rage.1
"I love you too Jonas. It will always be you. I just want you to come back to me." I wept against his chest as he rubbed my back.
"Baby... please understand my need to protect you." He said it softly to comfort me and to reiterate the reality that he could not do this with me by his side, it would be too dangerous.
"I know." I said, pulling away. "I just hate it." I cried.
"Promise me that after today you'll be careful and you won't look back on what could have been. Promise me you'll move forward with your life." His thumbs traced over the sides of my face affectionately.
"I don't want to..." I couldn't lie. "...can we just... can we just be together today, like none of this is happening." I asked.
His lips met mine and his hands came to my back. He pulled away, staring into my eyes.
His head tilted to the side asking for permission as he began to lift my shirt over my head. I nodded my approval to him. His lips found mine again as his fingers traced over my neck and shoulders to my back, where he unclasped my bra and slid it off of my body.
"I love you Lyla. I love you." He whispered softly, his minty breath held its normal faint taste of cigarettes, and it overwhelmed my senses. His mouth lowered and began to feather kisses across my jaw line.
He stood and guided me to my feet by my hands. I didn't feel embarrassed to be this way in front of him, not this time. This wasn't about lust. It wasn't his typical ravenous attack.
This was an "I love you", and I needed it as much as he did... to erase the pain that came with Tristan's death, to temporarily numb it for both of us.
He reached for the button of my shorts and released it, sliding them and my panties down my legs simultaneously until I stepped out of them. I kicked my flip flops to the side.
I stood in front of him completely naked, but he didn't tear his eyes away from mine.
"I love you Lyla... I'll always love you." He said again, as he kissed me and began to remove his own pants. I pulled his shirt over his head and he lifted me to his body.
His hands grasped behind my thighs and my legs wrapped around him. I leaned my upper arms on his shoulders, letting my hands rub his head and neck comfortingly.
Tears still ran down his face and mine. When our lips came together the taste of salty tears swirled through our mouths. His hands held me steady as they rubbed over my back. He took a few steps backward and leaned against a tree.
"I love you Jonas. I want this... with you." I laid my head on his shoulder as he brought himself to my opening and slowly entered me, bringing us together as one, finally.
"I've always wanted this with you Lyla. You'll never understand how much you mean to me."
I couldn't get close enough to him even with him inside of me. Even pulled flush against his body, I longed to be closer still. He lifted me slowly and softly against him, bouncing my hips against his.
We stared into each other’s eyes exchanging emotions that words could not convey.1
I never wanted to do this with anyone else. It would never feel right again with any other man.
"You're mine Delilah... today you're mine... and I am yours. I love you." He whispered in between kisses as he rhythmically moved my body over his shaft, letting gasps out each time he lowered me on to him.
"I'll always be yours Jonas, and you will always be mine. I'll always love you." I fluttered my eyes closed as he began to bounce me faster and thrust harder into me. His grunts of pleasure indicating that he was almost there.
"Cum for me Delilah..." he whispered as he bit into my shoulder and began to convulse, I followed suit and let my walls milk every last bit from him.
We laid down together afterward, neither of us bothering to put our clothes back on, and held each other.
Jonas' grip was strong, holding me so close and tight to him that sweat had formed against our skin where it met. He whispered over and over of his love for me.
I felt so torn between the anguish of the loss of Tristan and the love of the warmth of Jonas' body on mine.
It was growing late in the afternoon as we laid there and I didn't want this to end. The sound of a car engine made Jonas jump to his feet. He pulled me with him.
"We have to go Lyla." He said as the sound grew louder. "Promise me..." he held my face toward his by my chin.
"I promise... but promise me that if things change you will come back to me." I said in return, my heart beating much too fast.
I wasn't ready for our time together to be over. Going home to a house without Tristan and Jonas would be unbearable.
"How can I ask you to move on and leave you with that bit of false hope Lyla? I won't promise... I will promise to always do what's best for you, and if I survive or don't end up in prison, then I'll come back, but if I think you're happy..." He said, trailing off, seemingly more concerned with the noise of the approaching engine.
Quickly throwing his clothes on, he fixed his eyes on the trail leading in.
"You are what's best for me. Don't ever think you aren't. You don't get to make decisions for me. It will always be you. I'll always choose you." I said through tears as I grabbed my clothes and began to hurriedly follow him to the car while dressing myself.
He stopped and held a hand out to me, bringing his finger to his lips for me to be silent. The engine had cut.1
"Is it Tyler?" I asked quietly, watching him scan the wooded area as we climbed into the car. A pang of nervousness shot through me, sending a shiver rolling through my body.
His eyes met mine and they were burning with rage. He stayed silent and I knew our intimacy was over. He thought it was Tyler following us.
I could tell he was already mentally preparing himself for his next move. He had stayed here with me all day, but his thoughts had drifted back to Tyler and anger and reality had taken over. He was like a cougar ready to attack at any sudden movement.
He fired up the car and peeled out of the field. We drove down the road toward Casey's unreasonably fast and I wished he could slow down and give me just a little more time with him.
As we came upon her house, he pulled down a trail ten feet before her driveway. He drove back and I saw another car parked far enough from the road that it was not visible to passing traffic.
"Alfonzo." Jonas pointed out, climbing from his car in a hurry and rounding to my side where he opened my door and led me to the car by my hand.
"Give me your phone." Jonas demanded, his soft loving tone now gone, a lethal tone in its place.
"I think we were followed here, Alfonzo. See that she gets into Casey's house safely. I'm stationing someone permanently at her parent's place." His voice cracked as he said it, I'm sure he was wishing he had done it sooner, before Tristan had been murdered.
He handed my phone back to me "you have his number and Theo's... call them if you need anything, even if something just feels off." He wouldn't look at me. I don't think he could. He opened the passenger door of Alfonzo's car instructing me to climb in.
I did as he instructed and he closed the door behind me and turned on his heel back toward his car. As he opened the driver's side door my heart felt like it might beat out of my chest.
"Jonas!" I yelled out the open window. He turned and I saw the tears in his eyes as he met my gaze.
"Goodbye." I felt the wind leave my body as I said it.1
"I love you." He mouthed back, before turning away and climbing into his car.
His eyes didn't look my way again, although I could see the tears streaking his face as he pulled away.
"He won't be back?" Alfonzo asked sympathetically.
"No... he's going to kill Tyler himself." I felt a calm come over me as I said it — for Tristan, for Della, for Daniel, and for me... I hoped he would succeed.
"He's going to kill him." I repeated, and felt the slight pull of a smile on my lips. He would kill Tyler and I would make good on my promise to him.
Loving Jonas had been the highlight of my life. I would move forward as he asked, but I would never love someone the way I loved him.
He was mine and I was his.1
Sequel
A sequel to this book, named “Revenge” will be published after month.
Till then, happy reading.