by Meghan Diane
I was scanning the menu on the chalkboard behind the counter when she walked up.
“Know what you’re looking for?”
My heart skipped a beat. Damn, she’s gorgeous. The barista had long brown hair in dreads. I wasn’t normally a fan of dreads, but they framed her face so well that I was beginning to reconsider. And her eyes shined like beacons from her tanned face. I was probably staring because before I could answer, she spoke again.
“First time here? Do you need some suggestions?”
I gave a weak smile. Why was I so mesmerized by this girl? I’d just had a great night with Phoenix. Well until the snoring happened. “Actually yes, what do you suggest? I really like coffee, but I don’t know that I just want to go with a classic cup this morning.”
She gave a reassuring nod and turned her back to me. I couldn’t help but stare. She was wearing a brown tank top and white shorts, showing off her perfect tan and toned legs. So she works out.
When she turned back to the counter, she had a mason jar in her hand. “Do you like creamer?”
I shook my head no.
“Okay here, try this.” She slid the mason jar in my direction.
“Iced coffee?” I raised my eyebrow. I didn’t want a classic coffee, but then again I probably would have taken anything she was offering.
Her smile broadened. “No, not just iced coffee. It’s our new cold brew. It’s going to be a little smoother and with more of a kick.” She looked me up and down. “Which you look like maybe you could use.”
I immediately felt self-conscious. Did I look like I was a mess? I could feel the corners of my face fall.
“No, no!” she exclaimed, her face looking concerned. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I mean you look stunning.” She was beginning to ramble. “Like really stunning,” she mumbled under her breath.
I felt my face heat up, my temperature rising a few degrees. Wait what?
“I was just trying to say that you look tired,” she continued. She was looking at me, searching, hoping that I would understand. By now she had her elbows on the counter and was leaning toward me. I felt my face warm under her stare.
I smiled, and looked down at my feet. “No, you’re right. I only slept a few hours last night.”
“Oh?” She shook her head, as if trying to erase a thought. “Well here.” She pushed the cup closer to me. “It’s on me. You’re going to love it.” She turned and walked away before I could answer.
Still feeling a little embarrassed, I looked around for somewhere to sit. The brown leather couch near the back was calling my name. I made a beeline for the comfort of the soft folds. Sliding onto it, I knew I had made the right decision.
I took a sip of the coffee. Damn, she was right. This is bomb. I could feel the caffeine surging through my veins almost immediately.
I relaxed into the couch and sighed. I’d had a really great night last night. I loved being around Halley. And I really liked Phoenix. There was something comforting about her. And I loved that we could just sit and talk. And I loved that she knew so much about the stars. Be careful. My face scrunched up, turning into a scowl. Be careful of what?
“Do you hate it?” came a voice beside me.
“What?” My eyebrows shot up. That’s when I realized she must have seen my face and assumed it was because of the coffee. “No, no.” I smiled, hoping to be reassuring. “It’s actually really brilliant.”
“Oh good,” she replied as she slid onto the couch beside me.
My eyebrow shot up. Interesting.
“So you’re not from here are you?” she asked.
Her eyes pierced right through me, and I had to look away before I could answer. “No, not really. I’m just visiting my best friend.”
“Oh very cool.” She smiled, not taking her eyes off me.
“Yeah,” I mumbled. Why am I so nervous?
She looked around. “Well where is she now?”
I looked over at her sheepishly. “She’s sleeping. We’re at her friend’s beach house, over that way,” I said, pointing. “And we had a big party last night.”
“Ah I see.”
I could almost feel the judgment.
“Heyyy,” I said, trying to defend myself. “Don’t hate.”
“Oh I’m not hating,” she said, looking into my eyes again. “I just know the type of people who live in that neighborhood.”
“I know right.” I looked at her to see if I should keep explaining. When she just stared I continued to talk. “They aren’t my friends per se. They’re my best friend’s friends. I didn’t know anyone there except for her and like one other person. Phoenix. But they are actually really nice people,” I added, a little defensive. “I mean they are letting me stay with them. So that’s cool. But if we’re being honest, my ideal night consists more of either reading a book or taking pictures of the sunset.” My cheeks flushed a little. Why was I telling her this?
“So how did you end up here?” She looked at the clock on the wall. “And so early in the morning.”
“Well…” I shrugged, taking another sip of the coffee. “I have a hard time sleeping, and the sun was up. So I figured it was a good time to venture out and find myself some coffee.” I snuck a peek at the girl again. “And I like the quiet. It’s calming. And I know it’s going to be chaos when I go back there. So I guess I just wanted to find my center before then.”
“I feel you there.” She nodded. “Well, I will let you get back to your peaceful morning.”
I frowned as she stood up.
“I’m Jessa, by the way.” She stuck out her hand.
I slid mine into hers. “Aurora.”
“Well, Aurora, I hope you make your way back here before you leave.”
“I hope so too,” I said, and smiled. “Thanks for the coffee by the way.” I stared down at it. “But you may have ruined me. It’s like really, really good.”
“Good,” she said, her smile warming me to the core. “Come back anytime.” She winked, and walked away.
Woah.
Twenty minutes later I walked out into the sunlight. I looked around. I wasn’t ready to go back to the house just yet. I was still flustered about Jessa. What is happening?
I did the only thing I could think of. I called Madison.
“Hey sunshine,” came her reassuring voice over the speaker. “What’s up? It’s early. Everything okay? Tell me it’s good news and that you’ve finally hooked up with that girl from work. Pleaseee tell me that’s why you’re calling,” she pleaded over the phone.
Madison had been my best friend for going on eight years now. Yeah, I had Halley, but Madison was what I liked to call my “secret keeper.”
We had become friends completely by accident all those years ago when she thought it was a good idea to let my ex use her phone to text me. I had been furious. I spent the next twenty minutes ripping into a girl I had never met.
Madison, on the other hand, had found this more than amusing. She spent the next twenty minutes peppering me with snarky comebacks.
We didn’t talk for days after that. But for some reason she decided she wanted another go-round at my anger and texted me again. I was without a doubt still furious when I saw the unfamiliar number pop up on my phone. We spent the next month bantering back and forth until one day I realized our comments were no longer hateful and mean, but instead filled with humor.
I had begun to look forward to her witty remarks throughout my day and to turn to her when I needed someone to cheer me up. It was the weirdest friendship that could have ever been imagined. But it worked. Eventually we began hanging out in real life and the friendship just clicked. This stranger quickly became the person I called when things were getting out of hand.
She was there when I was still in denial about being gay. She was there when I fell hard for my first girl, and she was there to pick up the pieces when it failed miserably. She was there when I decided that I really liked taking pictures and she even let me assault her with my ca
mera lens every so often.
There was no question that I was her person too. Whenever she wrote something new I was the first one she called to try it out on. Whenever she fell hard for the girl who played soccer—who turned out to be straight—I was there. I was even there to answer all of her crazy questions about her “first time.”
We were each other’s people.
I snapped back to reality.
“Everything is okay.” I sighed as I walked. “And no I have not hooked up with that girl from work. How many times do I have to keep telling you that is not a thing. I’m just in a weird dilemma.”
“Let me guess,” she laughed. “Girls. And just so we’re clear, things could totally happen with the girl from work, you’re just a sissy and are afraid to try.”
“Ugh, I hate you,” I groaned. “And I am not afraid to try. She and I are just friends.”
“I’ve seen the way you guys look at each other,” Madison taunted. “Plus, she’s really adorable.”
“And totally not my type.” I threw my hands into the air. “But that’s not why I’m calling you.”
“Well go on, tell me about it. But to be clear, adorable is anyone’s type.”
I looked up at the sky. We had this mini argument every time we talked on the phone. I slipped up and told her one time that I thought the new girl at work was cute and she has refused to let it go.
“I met Halley’s friend, Phoenix,” I said, trying to jar her back into the present.
“Mhm,” she mumbled, laced with a condescending tone.
“I know, I know. Anyway, she’s really adorable. And we had a great time last night.”
“Oh here we go.”
“Shut up,” I growled. “Nothing happened. We just talked on the beach. And it was great. She told me about the stars and we talked about important things, you know?”
“Mhm,” she mumbled again.
“I just don’t know that I’m ready yet. But, I really like her.”
“Aurora,” came her condescending voice in my ear. “Of course you’re not ready. It’s only been three months. You need to take some time for yourself for once, you know? Don’t make me regret giving you my subway token.”
“Listen, I’m giving you this because you need it, and because I love you.” We were lying outside on a blanket under the stars. It was shortly after I had broken up with Reese and I was still a mess. As usual Madison was there to talk me through it.
“We both know how you get.” She gave me a pointed stare. “You jump from relationship to relationship. When was the last time you were single? Let me tell you. It was a year ago, and it was for two weeks.” I closed my eyes and let her continue. “And in those two weeks you were with that one girl. What was her name? Natasha?”
This elicited a groan from me.
“It’s time that you take some time for yourself,” she continued. “Maybe take some photos. Maybe learn a new hobby. I don’t care what you do, but it’s time.”
She gave me another pointed stare. “You are better than this, Aurora. You’re better than being just a girl in a relationship. Look, I’m not saying don’t date ever again. I’m saying don’t jump. I’d rather you sleep with twenty girls this year than just one. I just don’t want you to buckle down with someone just because you can.”
I squeezed my eyes tighter. I wanted her to stop talking. She was right. We both knew she was.
“So I’m giving you my token, because you need it.”
I pushed her hand away. “I can’t take that, Madison. It’s your favorite memory from when you lived in NY. You hardly let anyone even look at that coin.”
“Yeah, it’s my favorite. It’s a symbol of the independence that I used to have. And that’s why I’m giving it to you.”
I looked into her eyes to see if she was serious.
“I’ll make you a deal. For six months I want you to be free. I want you to do whatever you want, but you can’t be in a relationship. You can’t be with the same girl for more than a week. And then, at the end of this six months, if you find someone who truly fills your heart, and not just your bed, then we can reassess and you can give it back to me. Deal?”
I brought myself back to the present. “You won’t regret it.” I turned into the next housing development, avoiding going back to the beach house. “But I really like her. And we get along so well.”
“Yeah but you need to be careful,” she warned.
“I know. But—”
“Don’t but me,” she challenged. “You know the deal.”
“Okay well, there’s something else. Something that you’ll like.”
“Oh yeah?” I could feel the intrigued tone in her voice.
“I went to this coffee shop this morning right?” I switched the phone to my other ear, anticipating Madison’s reaction.
“Right.”
“And the barista was kinda banging.” I waited, my sentence hanging in the air for only a second, before I continued. “And she gave me my coffee for free.”
I could nearly see Madison’s reaction before it came.
“Seriously Aurora! You’re nuts.”
I imagined her throwing her hands into the air on the other side of the phone.
“I know, I know.” I turned toward the beach house, and back toward Halley.
“This is why you are not ready for anything.”
It was times like these when I hated that Madison knew me so well.
“I know,” I groaned. “It’s all just so confusing. I mean here I am, thinking that I might actually like this girl. And I have a really great night with her. But then the second I see another really hot girl, I’m not sure. I mean how serious can I be about Phoenix if—”
“Aurora,” she commanded. “This is exactly why I gave you the coin. You’re not ready for a relationship yet. When you’re ready, you’ll know it. There won’t be any confusion. Don’t jump. Don’t be that girl. You’re not ready.”
I laughed into the speaker. “Okay as much as I am enjoying this scolding, I’m gonna get back to Halley. And Phoenix.”
She laughed. “Have fun, Aurora. But remember who I’m pulling for.”
I smiled into the phone. Cassie. “Lots of love,” I replied before hanging up, and heading back into the chaos.
Chapter Six
“You ready?” Halley asked as she stuffed her beach towel into a bag. Everyone from the party had finally woken up and we were going to the beach.
“Of course I’m ready. I can’t wait to get a little sun on my face and just relax.” I raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s going to be glorious. Well as long as we get coffee, that is.” I’d already had my morning coffee an hour ago, but it took about three cups a day to keep me running.
Halley’s smile widened. “Wouldn’t expect it any other way.”
As we loaded into the car curiosity got the best of me. Stella hadn’t come to the party with us last night because of her thesis, but I hoped that didn’t extend into today too.
“So we’re picking up Stella right? I really like her. I think she’s pretty cool.”
“Mhm,” Halley responded, bobbing her head. “I only like the good ones.”
I smiled. I knew that comment was directed at me. But she still hadn’t answered the question I was dying to ask.
“She’s coming later,” Halley added. “Nico is going to drop her off. You’ll meet him eventually.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. How did she know? “Whatever.”
“I take it you guys had a good time last night then?” She wiggled her eyebrows at me as she pulled out of the driveway.
“Eyes on the road,” I teased back. “And nothing happened if that’s what you’re asking. But she is really cool. And she’s so smart.” My mind flashed back to her stories of the stars. And adorable.
“She’s top of our class you know.”
I rolled my eyes, and looked out the passenger-side window. “Doesn’t surprise me one bit.” But it did scare me a little. Sometimes m
y insecurities got the better of me. What if I’m not smart enough for her?
“Stop looking so worried,” Halley said, shooting me a sideways glance. “I can see your reflection in the window. She adores you. If you like her too, go for it.”
I turned to face her and glared once more. “You don’t know my life,” I teased. But she did.
When Stella hopped into the car with us twenty minutes later I was already feeling the caffeine high.
“We got you a coffee too!” I nearly yelled to her as she slid in behind Halley.
She let out a chuckle. “And you’ve started without me, I see.”
I smiled sheepishly at her. “That may have happened. But luckily for you, you can catch up.” I cupped her coffee with both hands and extended it to her as an offering.
“Thank you,” she laughed as she reached for it and took her first sip. “How was the party last night?”
“It was good.” I snuck a peek at Halley, remembering the fight between her and Spencer. “Well most of it.” I turned around to meet Stella’s curious stare. I rolled my eyes in the direction of Halley so that only Stella could see. She simply raised her eyebrows and nodded in acknowledgment.
“Aurora met Phoenix last night,” Halley chimed in, oblivious to the silent interaction.
Stella’s eyebrows shot up even higher and she leaned in a little closer. “Oh did she? Do tell.”
I blushed and looked away. “She’s cool, I guess.”
Halley met Stella’s eyes in the mirror. “They stayed out at the beach until practically morning. Alone,” she added for emphasis.
“Oh did they,” Stella cooed. “Seems like it went very well indeed.”
“It wasn’t like that.” I frowned.
“Oh we know, love. We know the stereotype for lesbians.” Halley smirked. “And if I know you at all, I’m willing to bet that you two just laid there and talked. About feeeelings,” she taunted.