by Wendy Hudson
Ha! I knew I liked you! Behind every cloud…x
Stella couldn’t help but laugh. Jess had become her messenger and friend over the past two weeks, relaying information to Alex when she failed to answer her phone. She pulled up her call log. Twelve missed calls from Scott. Sighing she threw the phone back in her bag.
He could wait.
* * *
A few hours later, Lori and Jess bumped along the gravel track to the farm. Lori couldn’t be sure whether it was nerves or Jess’s driving making her stomach lurch.
She reached into the foot well for the phone in her bag, bashing her head on the dashboard as a particularly big pothole got the better of the tiny car.
“Ouch, merda. Jess.”
“Sorry. I’m just excited to get you there.”
Lori rubbed the top of her head. “Yeah well, in one piece would be good.”
Jess eased off the accelerator. “You know, I think the only reason she doesn’t get this track paved properly is because she gets sadistic pleasure in watching me bounce along it.”
Rummaging in the dark foot well to gather the contents of her bag, Lori had to laugh despite the sore head, and felt some of the tension in her stomach dissipate with the banter. “More like she’s scared at just how fast you would drive given a smooth run.”
Jess laughed with her. “You’re probably right. Oh, and by the way, it’s rude to call people names in a language they don’t understand.”
Lori sat up again having retrieved everything, reassuringly patting Jess’s knee. “As tempted as I was, don’t worry I didn’t call you anything. I just know the word for ‘shit’ in about ten different languages. I’ll teach you for your travels if you like?”
Jess looked at her wide eyed. “Holy crap, I hadn’t even thought of that! You are totally my new best friend. If Alex sends you away, screw her, you’re coming home with me. In fact, I’m turning the car round right now.” She laughed, and Lori knew alarm was plastered all over her face. “Clearly I’m kidding. Like I’d get in the way of you two lovebirds.”
“Hey, let’s not count on anything just yet. I may still get a door slammed in my face for showing up like this.”
Jess hit the brakes, and they skidded to a stop outside the farmhouse. It stood dark all around except for a lone bulb over the side door.
They both took a deep breath at the same time.
Jess reached across the console, took Lori’s hand, and squeezed it tight. “She might not know it, but she needs you. You’re the ray of sunshine she didn’t have in the past, and I know you can help bring her out of this.”
Lori squeezed back. Not trusting her voice, she simply nodded and climbed out of the car.
Chapter 44
The darkness surrounding Sean Murray was suddenly cut through by the headlights of a car turning onto the track. Even before he saw the car up close, he knew who it was by the way the lights jumped up and down as it hit every pothole speeding toward the farm.
He sat tucked behind some hedgerow, his boxy, dark car was invisible from the road. He ducked down in the driver’s seat, and risked only a brief glimpse from under his hat to confirm it was the pretty blonde girl again.
Satisfied he was right and she was alone, he glanced at the dashboard clock and waited for the car lights to go out at the end of the track. Now it was a waiting game. The waiting didn’t faze him; the army had taught him well. The situation was his to control so long as he was patient and kept his temper in check. Besides the anticipation was all part of it. It brought him to life and heightened every sense.
He’d been watching the farm for nearly a week, trying to discern a pattern to visits from the blonde and find out whether there was a boyfriend or other family members to worry about. So far, she was the only regular visitor, and he wondered if she was a girlfriend. The thought was a pleasing addition to his fantasy. Otherwise, it seemed the last of the Ryans was a bit of a recluse, and he’d only seen her stray from the house to go to the barn to feed the animals.
As always while he waited, he allowed his mind to go back to that night. The anger he had felt when that silly little bitch had pulled the gun on them was the same as the night his wife had left him. That whore had thought she could walk away from him. Take their sons and go live with her piece of shit on the side without any consequences. Beth thought she could get the better of him, that a gun could stop him.
He slouched further in the seat, allowing his eyes to close for a few minutes. The blonde would be a while and it was silent. He’d hear her coming. He remembered how innocent Beth had looked, a child caught up in something she wasn’t ready for. He saw the fear on her face and, despite the gun, the tremble of her shoulders. The rest of the room had faded until it was only the two of them. When the gun had turned his way, he hadn’t felt fear, but excitement. He saw the face of every woman who had tried to bring him down in hers.
Reaching into his trousers, he pictured the sweat on her brow as it trickled into her hair line. The waft of strawberries was there with him in the car. As he straddled her lifeless body, even the blood couldn’t overpower it. He inhaled deeply and the same rush he felt the moment he made his move washed over him again.
This close to the farm, his faded memories had reignited, become vivid again. Every ounce of anger had poured out of him with the first plunge of his knife into her chest. It was instantly addictive and he plunged again. He could hear Beth’s screams. He could taste her blood in his mouth and feel it slipping through his fingers like silk, her wide eyes looking past him, unseeing, her light extinguished. He could feel the pressure building in his trousers as he remembered each strike, until the sound of his blade cutting through flesh one last time made him jerk with satisfaction.
She’d thought she could get the better of him. She was wrong.
She was the first, but not the last. A sweet cherry that topped a pile of nobodies, there had never been anyone like her since. He had quickly realised the exhilaration of his first time couldn’t be replicated, but it didn’t stop him trying.
He rested his head back, pulled a handkerchief from a pocket, and cleaned himself up. He opened a window and lit the rag, watched it twist and turn as it burnt, before letting it flutter to the ground in burning wisps of ash.
He reconciled with himself, not for the first time, that she had deserved it. She had left him no choice once she had pointed the gun at his old man.
And now his face was the most famous in Britain, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before his time was up. He’d seen Alex on the cover of a newspaper, and the resemblance to Beth had caught him by surprise. He knew she was too good an opportunity to miss. He thought about his ex-wife. His only regret was that she would probably never experience the consequences of what she had put him through, but Alex would.
He was still in control, after all.
He could still choose his ending.
Chapter 45
Alex heard the engine before the headlights flashed across the front windows of the music room. She sighed when she recognised the sound of Jess’s tiny car and braced herself for another lecture.
She padded through to the kitchen in the dark, dumped her whisky in the sink, and poured some water in the glass. Knowing her friend would let herself in, she thought it best not to give her any ammunition. It’s not as if she doesn’t have enough already.
She was surprised to hear the murmur of voices as the side door opened. She crossed toward the hallway as the light flicked on, and Jess and Lori were illuminated in the doorway.
Even the constant drip feed of alcohol hadn’t helped to put Lori out of her mind, and Alex had come to realise that she was the only thing different in her life from eight years ago. When her nightmares put Alex in Beth’s place that night or conjured revenge plots against the Murrays, she was able to bring herself down with thoughts of Lori.
At first, she had tried not to dwell on the night they’d spent together. The feelings she had brought out were overwhelming on to
p of everything else. She couldn’t give Lori her full attention, the time, and energy she needed, that she deserved. She’d resigned herself to losing Lori, along with everyone else she loved.
But over the past couple of nights, Stella’s words had cut through the fog and she’d allowed herself to imagine the simple pleasure of sleeping on her shoulder at the bothy or feel the tingle again like when Lori had kissed her dimple that first time. Her mind had wandered back to their night in London, and she could almost feel Lori’s body pressed tight against her own. She relived that night over and over when sleep wouldn’t take her, and wished she was back there. The memories brought comfort. Helped her take a breath and cleansed her mind of evil, if only for a few seconds.
She knew she’d pushed Lori away. Away from the ugliness of her past and the person she was turning back into. She hadn’t asked to be saddled with so much hatred and despair. How could Lori ever love someone so damaged? One night together, no matter how special, did not obligate her to have to deal with Alex’s never ending nightmare.
She’d thought about what they could have had and what she had hoped for them whilst lying in Lori’s arms, feeling her warm breath on her neck. Her stomach churning and her chest tightening at the loss.
She hadn’t slept again that night and had instead found herself barefoot on the cold tile floor of the kitchen, sipping water and looking out at the night sky, with Frank laying at her feet. That and concentrating on the moon helped to ease her away from an impending panic attack. She’d imagined Lori standing behind her, reassuring arms wrapped around her waist…
Alex blinked.
Lori stood in front of her. Real and solid. Right here. Right now. Eyes glassy with tears, they did their sparkly thing as she chewed her lip in nervousness.
The barriers Alex had tried to erect dissolved in a moment. None of the reasons not to see Lori again mattered. How could she have been so stupid to think ignoring her was the right thing to do? She didn’t say a word, just moved into the arms that Lori held open. Relief rushed through her as she breathed the familiar honey scent and felt the warmth of her body as it enveloped her.
“I’m sorry, Lori. I’m so sorry,” she repeated into her shoulder before the tears took over and her body shook with sorrow.
Lori held on tight, planting soft kisses to the top of her head.
“Shh, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’ve got you now.”
Alex glimpsed Jess smiling their way and she returned it, mouthing a thank you before wrapping her arms tighter around Lori. Even as Jess blew her a kiss and headed for the door, she didn’t let go.
Chapter 46
It was close to midnight, but no matter how tired she felt, the furthest thing from Stella’s mind was her cosy hotel bed. She tried Jess again and cursed when it went straight to voicemail. She knew she was probably still driving, but her patience was wearing.
She tapped off a text.
How did it go? Are you all still at the farm?
When her phone beeped almost immediately, her fingers fumbled putting in the pin, she got it wrong twice before taking a breath to calm down and entered it again with less urgency.
Jess had arrived home.
Stella immediately rang her number again, clicking a pen top while waiting for Jess to pick up.
“Jeezo, a little impatient?” she answered. “I was going to call once I’d had a chance to pee. I just bloody fell over trying to catch your call.”
“You fell over, how on earth—”
“My room is a frigging mess. Listen, you can’t say anything to Alex but before all this happened, I’d finally booked my trip away. I’ve got the next year as sabbatical from work and I’m due to leave in a few weeks. Hence the mess, I’m a terrible packer.”
“You’re leaving?” Stella was surprised. From what Lori had said, Alex and Jess were inseparable and Jess wasn’t the kind of person to leave her friend alone in a crisis.
“Well, no, of course I’m not going to leave now. But when this is over, then yes, I’m out of here. I’ve waited so long for this trip.”
“Of course, that came out wrong. I guess from what Lori said, it sounded as if you and Alex came as a pair.”
“Yeah well, normally we do and I’m pretty sure I’m going to miss her terribly and be home within a few weeks, but I’ve got to at least try. She’s my number one but, you know, she has Lori now. Once this bastard is in jail where he belongs, they can start to move on together and I’ll be able to leave knowing she’s being taken care of.”
“I understand, Jess. I do. I take it things went well at the farm then?”
“Stella, you should have seen Alex’s face when she saw us both. I didn’t stick around but I’m not worried. Anyway, I didn’t mean to side track you. What’s up, Detective?”
“It’s okay. I’m glad you’re looking out for yourself too, Jess.”
“Well, I’m not going to get excited just yet, unless you’re calling to tell me you’ve got him?” There was hope in Jess’s voice but Stella could tell she really wasn’t expecting her answer to be yes.
She switched back into work mode, remembering why she had called. “We’ve got some information on Sean Murray’s possible whereabouts and I wanted to speak to you first to see how things had gone with Lori and Alex.”
“Christ, Stella, why didn’t you shut me up about my stupid bloody travelling? What’s going on? You sound worried.”
“Did you notice any strange vehicles parked up around the farm, maybe off a lane or down a track?”
“No. Will you just tell me what the hell you know? Where is he?”
“Sorry. Okay. Right, I don’t want to panic you, but we think Sean might have plans to go back to the farm. In fact, it’s possible he’s been watching it all this time and is in the area.”
The line was quiet and she could only imagine the thoughts running through Jess’s mind. “Stella, how do you know?”
“Well it’s a theory at the moment, but, first off, a nearby farm was broken into and whoever did it only stole a car, some tools, and a gun.”
“Shit.”
“That’s exactly what I said. Hannah and I have been scouring hours of CCTV footage from local petrol stations and supermarkets, and we might have a match. The guy seems to go out of his way to keep his back to the camera, but the car and the physical description matches even if we can’t see his face. What sealed it for me was a statement from the garage attendant. He says he remembered the car because the driver left without paying but when he ran outside after him, he found cash left on the pump. He thought it was someone who didn’t deal well with people.”
“I don’t understand.”
Stella could hear the panic creeping in to Jess’s voice.
“Why would he go back to the scene of the crime? Alex wasn’t even there that night so it’s not as if she could identify him.”
Stella blew out an angry breath and threw a hand up in frustration. “Who fucking knows, Jess? My guess is he wants to be caught and plans on going down in a blaze of glory. He must have seen Alex on the news or in the papers.”
The phone muffled a moment and she heard scuffling about. Jess came back on the line. “I’m on my way back out there. Have you called Alex or Lori? Have you warned them?”
“No, Jess, don’t go. I tried them both already. Both rang out to voicemail.”
“Shit.”
“Don’t panic. I know Lori has a tendency to turn hers on silent when she doesn’t want to be disturbed. I bet she’s done the same with Alex’s to give them time to talk.”
“There’s a maniac out there.”
“I know, but Lori definitely has other things on her mind right now. You saw her, Jess. Her priority is Alex.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better, Stella.”
“Well, this might. I’m heading out there now, I’ll call again when I’m on the road. I could be wrong and I don’t want them worrying unnecessarily. We don’t have actual proof that’s what he’s pla
nning, it’s all circumstantial and conjecture. I couldn’t even convince those that matter to get a local patrol car out to the farm—”
“Are you kidding me? Do you really expect me to just sit about and wait for another call like the one I got from Alex all those years ago?”
Stella closed her eyes. She couldn’t even imagine a call like that from Lori. “No I don’t, Jess. You’re right. I’ll be at the farm in around an hour or so, traffic should be fine this time of night getting out of Edinburgh.”
Stella grabbed her keys and was on the move and from the sounds of it, so was Jess.
“I’m on my way. Just hurry. Okay?”
“Okay. Drive safe, Jess. Apparently you’re a terrible driver.”
“Yeah, yeah, I will. Oh and, Stella?”
“What?”
“Bring that hot, young officer with you.”
Shaking her head at Jess’s cheek despite the circumstances, she pocketed her phone and grabbed PC Wallace on her way out the door.
Chapter 47
Alex ran her hands back and forth under the hot water. She lifted a handful of bubbles and blew them Lori’s way. “This was a good idea. Thanks.”
Lori smiled down at her from the edge of the bath and wiped some bubbles from her cheek. She waved her phone in front of Alex. “I’ve put them both on silent. I don’t know about you, but I need a night with you, and you alone. I hope that’s okay?”
“That’s more than okay with me.”
“Good, and this,” she pointed to the bath and continued, “is only phase one. Phase two involves a hot meal and a large glass of red wine.”
“Wow, you’re allowing wine? Don’t tell Jess or she’ll be packing you back off to London.”
“Well, I figure if I have to deprive you I’m going to have to deprive myself, and I really need a glass of wine.”
Alex chuckled and sank into the water up to her chin. “Jess’s driving?”