by Lee, Mandy
‘Mmm.’ His arms come around me, drawing me in against his warmth. ‘What time is it?’
‘Just after four.’
He opens his eyes. They’re half-focussed but brighter than before.
‘You said three hours.’
‘I gave you a little more. You were shattered.’
‘What have you been up to?’
‘Nothing much.’
‘Try out your new bath?’
‘Not yet. But thank you very much for the present.’
‘My pleasure. So, what have you been up to?’
‘I went for a walk.’
‘A walk?’
Although I’m trying out my best poker face, it’s clearly malfunctioning. He picks up on something, maybe the remnants of excitement.
‘We don’t have secrets any more,’ he reminds me.
‘I know.’ And it’s not a secret, I assure myself. It’s a surprise. ‘I just went for a walk, and enjoyed being free.’
Satisfied with my answer, he squeezes me in closer for a long, dreamy kiss. Slowly coming back to consciousness, he tightens his left arm, restricting my movement, and bunches his fingers into my hair, manoeuvring my head back, giving him access to my neck. It’s his usual dominant way, casting off the baggage and becoming someone else. And I love it. Already, as his mouth traces a line from my ear to my neck, I’m on the verge of melting. But I mustn’t, because today I’m determined to go down a different path.
‘No.’
He carries on regardless.
‘Coffee.’
He stops immediately. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing.’
Questioning me with a look, he brings his left hand to my chest, rubbing a thumb lightly over my right nipple. Even through the bra and shirt, it has the desired effect. I let off a groan.
‘I’m the one in charge, remember?’ I push his hand away and pull myself together.
‘I thought you were joking.’
‘No, I wasn’t. And you’re just going to have to go with it.’
‘Go with what, exactly?’
Oh boy, is he in for a surprise. I smile, mischievously.
‘Have you ever been submissive?’
His eyes widen.
‘Not my style.’
‘Well, you know what they say: a change is as good as a rest.’
‘Maya, you know what I like.’
‘I know what you think you like. How do you know if you’ve never tried it?’
I think that might be fear creeping across his features. A spot reassurance is in order.
‘I’m not going to tie you up or gag you, or make you pretend to be my dog. But you are going to do everything I say.’
Clearly weighing up the pros and cons of the situation, he watches me.
‘Okay,’ he says at last. ‘Your call.’
And thank God for that because without Dan’s agreement, I’d stand no chance. I’m under no illusions. He’s giving me control; I’m not taking it. And now I have the upper hand, it’s time to issue the first order. This is going to feel distinctly weird.
‘Sit up.’
He does as he’s told, checking back on the slats before eyeing me suspiciously. He thinks I’m about to go for the cuffs, but the last thing I want is to restrain him. I want to drive him mad … and then I want to feel his hands on me.
‘Hold the headboard.’
Again, he complies.
I slip back out of bed, pulling the covers away and revealing him in all his naked glory. He smiles down at his cock, evidently proud that it’s already erect. And then he stares at me, totally unabashed.
‘So, what now?’ he asks.
‘Shush. You’ll find out.’
I start by giving him exactly what he likes. Very slowly, I unbutton the shirt and let it slide it from my shoulders. Reaching behind, I unhook my bra, gradually pulling it away from my breasts, and drop it to the floor. His lips curve into a smile. He raises a knee, a sure sign his cock’s beginning to act up.
‘Stay exactly where you are,’ I order him, because I’m about to work him up even further.
I begin to play with my nipples, circling them with my fingers, watching as his chest rises and falls, with increasing speed.
‘Oh fuck, Maya.’
‘Shush,’ I admonish him, giving him my best evil stare. ‘I’m having some ‘me’ time. Don’t ruin it.’
Moving downwards, I brush my fingertips across my sternum, my belly, and come to rest at my combats. Unfastening the buttons, I lower them gradually. I’m almost down to my ankles when I hear him groan. I check on him, just in time to see the hands come away from the headboard. If I let him go any further, he’ll pounce and have me on that bed in a nanosecond. I wave a finger at him and tut, waiting for the hands to return to the headboard before I go on with the show, kicking off the combats and removing my knickers.
He gazes at my crotch, his eyes brightening with pleasure. His breathing quickly becomes shallow.
‘You’re not having me yet,’ I tease him. ‘I’d like a decent orgasm before you get going.’
‘I beg your pardon?’ His mouth falls open in mock disbelief.
‘If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing yourself.’
With a quick jiggle of the eyebrows, I part my legs and begin to rub an index finger lightly at my clit. Slow circular movements quickly bring warmth to my crotch. Spreading inwards to the back of my vagina, it balls and burgeons, causing gentle waves of pleasure to ebb and flow inside me.
‘Oh God, that’s good.’
‘I should fuck you right now.’
In an instant, I come, tipped over the edge by the delicious threat in his voice, the wicked determination in his eyes. I’d intended to drive him wild for a good ten minutes before I got to this point, but never mind. Go with the flow, I tell myself as I contract and buckle and moan.
‘You stay where you are,’ I warn him breathlessly, vaguely aware he’s moving again. ‘Stay on the bed. Hands up.’
‘I’m warning you, Maya. You’re going to get it hard.’
‘And I’m warning you too.’
Still pulsating inside, I climb onto the bed and straddle him, rubbing my crotch against his balls.
‘Feel that?’ I ask. ‘I’m wet.’
‘You carry on like this, and I’ll have no marbles left.’
‘That’s the general idea. Shut your eyes.’
‘What?’
I place a palm on either cheek.
‘I said shut your eyes. Remember the song? New York? Whenever things get bad, just shut your eyes and think of our place together. It’s in here.’ I touch his forehead. ‘And here.’ I touch his chest. ‘Don’t think about the world outside. Don’t think about the future or the past. Just think about this, right here, right now.’
‘Oh, I get it.’ With a smile, he complies, lowering his eyelids.
Taking hold of his shoulders and covering his face with light kisses, I grind against him down below. Before long, I’ve managed to work him up into a frustrated mess. He’s breathing quickly, letting out the occasional quiet groan.
‘Where’s the gel?’ I ask, coming to a halt.
‘What gel?’ He opens his eyes.
‘Well, not hair gel, you idiot. That stuff you use for the tradesmen’s entrance.’
Suddenly, he seems almost terrified.
‘Don’t worry,’ I add quickly. ‘I’m not going in your back door. Not today. I just need some lubrication.’
I’m given a ‘thank fuck for that’ kind of look.
‘In the drawer,’ he smiles, blinking lazily. ‘The special drawer.’
Within seconds, I’ve launched myself off the bed, fetched the tube of lubricant, and I’m straddling him again.
He tuts. ‘Fail to prepare, Maya, and you prepare to fail.’
I grab his chin.
‘Bollocks,’ I breathe into his face. ‘Smarty had a party and nobody came.’
‘What’s that supposed to
mean?’
‘No idea. Shut up. And close your eyes again.’
Squeezing out a little gel, I lubricate my hands, clasping them both around his cock, right next to his balls. Interlocking my fingers and holding him just tight enough, I twist my fingers around his shaft, moving them upwards in one long motion towards the end of his penis, and then back down again.
In silence, I repeat the action, taking my time, sometimes twisting, sometimes not. It’s not long before he’s totally hard. Eyes still closed, a smile plays on his lips while he drinks it all in, giving in to me completely.
And now, it’s time to move on to the second phase. I squeeze, contracting and releasing my grip right from his balls up to the head, over and over, slowly and patiently, watching in satisfaction as his lips part and tiny beads of sweat appear on his forehead. Swallowing a growl, he knocks his head against the headboard, tightens his grip around the wooden slats and arches away from the bed, lifting me up in the process.
‘Fucking hell, Maya.’
‘Shush.’
For a moment, I toy with the idea of delaying his orgasm, quickly deciding it’s best not to play with fire. Instead, I carry on, relentlessly squeezing, releasing, and twisting again.
A minute or so later, he grimaces, groans and comes. I squeeze again as he ejaculates, sending him into a spin.
‘Shit!’ he cries out, spurting semen all over his stomach and my hands. ‘Shit!’
‘Did I say you could talk?’
Biting back a smile, he shakes his head and then, while he shivers and quakes beneath me, I run my thumb up the underside of his penis, again and again. When he finally seems to have come down from his orgasm, I order him to look at me. He complies, watching as I swipe a finger through the semen and take a taste.
‘Salty. Oh, hang on a minute. Is that garlic?’
‘Possibly.’
I take more on my fingers, rubbing it across my chest, my nipples.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Moisturising.’
With a laugh, he can’t help himself any longer. Letting go of the headboard, he grabs hold of me, one hand at the base of my spine, the other smoothing over my breasts.
‘Jesus, Maya. Where did you learn to do that?’
‘Trade secrets.’ I wink. ‘And I’ve got a few more tricks up my sleeve. I’ve been dying to try them out. The internet’s a wonderful thing. Hands up.’
Again, he obeys, allowing me to run my hands across his warm chest, loving the softness of his skin, the hardness of his pecs, his biceps, his shoulders. Moving between his legs, I skim my palms across his shins, over his scars, further up, taking in the tautness of his thighs. And while I do, he simply gazes at me.
‘That’s the first time I’ve let a woman take the lead in years.’
‘You didn’t enjoy it?’
‘On the contrary.’
He moves suddenly. I’m grabbed, manoeuvred up the bed and rolled onto my back. He pins my arms above my head. ‘Looks like we’re going to have mix things up around here.’
‘Letting go,’ I whisper. ‘Just soaking it up. It’s a liberation.’ I pause, giving him a cheeky grin. ‘And it works both ways.’
Chapter Twenty-Two
The next morning I’m sitting in the Mercedes on a quiet Chelsea street. Waiting for Dan to make a move, I stare out of the windscreen, watching as leaves squall in the air. Spiralling upwards, they’re quickly lost against the grey stone of the townhouses, and the heavy layers of grizzled cloud above. Snatched away by winter’s capricious moods, yesterday’s blue skies have already disappeared.
‘Lily’s house.’
He slips a warm hand across my thigh, leans over and glances up at the Georgian façade: four storeys in all, the windows growing smaller with each floor.
‘It’s beautiful. Why did she want the apartment?’
‘Because she fancied it.’
‘Rich people are weird.’
He plants a tender kiss on my lips.
‘Some of us are alright,’ he smiles, his eyes sparkling.
I touch his cheek, relieved that an evening of relentless sex topped off by a decent night’s sleep seems to have improved his mood. The bruises are deeper this morning; but his features are softer, more relaxed. So far, the day’s been calm, quiet, spent doing nothing in particular, just enjoying each other’s company … with no mention of the past.
But all that’s about to change.
‘This isn’t going to be easy.’
‘I know.’ He blows out a breath. ‘Let’s get it done.’
He gets out of the car, circles round to my side and opens the door, offering me a hand. Happy the good old-fashioned romantic gestures haven’t disappeared, I put my fingers into his and allow him to help me to my feet. He leads me to a glossy black door, and rings the bell. Within seconds, the door opens, revealing a petite, stylish woman in her fifties.
‘Mrs Babbage,’ Dan greets her.
‘Daniel,’ she answers coldly.
‘This is Maya.’ He motions back to me.
Lily’s mother nods. ‘We were wondering when you’d turn up.’
‘I’m sorry. I would have come yesterday, but …’ He lowers his head. ‘I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight. Can I see her? I need to know she’s alright.’
‘She’s anything but alright,’ Mrs Babbage frowns. ‘Far from it.’ She stands back. ‘But she wants to see you. She’s in the drawing room.’
I’m guided through a hallway, given just enough time to register the black and white tiled floor, the pale cream walls adorned with watercolours, before we’re quickly ushered into a vast, richly furnished drawing room. There’s a fire burning in the hearth and even though it’s daytime, every single antique lamp and light has been switched on, blazing out illumination: a desperate attempt, I’m sure, to keep the shadows at bay. Still in her dressing gown, Lily’s curled up in one corner of a huge, overstuffed modern sofa. She raises her head, stunning me with her appearance. Her hair’s a mess and yesterday’s make-up hasn’t yet been removed. Stripped bare of her usual armour, she seems strangely vulnerable. I take a seat next to her, and hold her hand.
‘How are you?’ Dan asks.
He stands by the fireplace, observing his friend. She wipes her nose on the sleeve of her dressing gown and shakes her head.
‘I don’t know.’
‘I’m sorry you got dragged into this.’
Fighting back tears, she gives him a contemptuous smile.
‘Well, maybe if I’d known what was really going on, I might have been more careful.’
‘Maybe.’
‘I might have told you about him. I might have checked him out. I might have put two and two together, but I didn’t. I couldn’t, because you told me nothing. And I told him everything. I thought I could trust him.’
Silence ensues. While Lily gives in to the tears, Dan chews at his bottom lip, trying to come up with the right words. At last, he speaks again.
‘I know you’re angry with me, Lil, but I couldn’t tell you the truth. There was too much at stake. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. I should have …’
‘I’m not angry with you,’ she interrupts, wiping her nose again. ‘Not really. I’m more angry with myself.’
‘Don’t be. You’re not the only one he conned. He tried it on with Maya’s sister.’
She looks at me.
‘He did?’
‘Yes,’ I confirm. ‘A while ago. It didn’t last long.’
Her eyes flicker.
‘But this went on for months,’ she murmurs. ‘Months. I let him in and he lied to me. He wasn’t who I thought he was.’
I squeeze her hand.
‘Did he hurt you?’ I ask.
‘Only in here.’ She places a shaky index finger on her forehead. Pulling her hand out of mine, she wraps her arms around herself. ‘I’ve been so stupid. He tried to kill Dan, he tried to take you, and it was all my fault. I let him sweet-talk me, and all along he w
as using me. Do you know how that makes you feel?’ She draws in a breath. ‘I feel …’
She silences herself, but I know she’s got more to say.
I turn to Dan.
‘Can you leave us alone for a few minutes?’
He seems confused.
‘Please. Just a few minutes.’
He looks from me to Lily, then nods and leaves the room.
‘That word, Lily. You can say it now.’
She gazes at me, slowly working up to the moment.
‘Violated,’ she says at last, barely audible now. ‘I feel violated.’ She swallows, and it’s a few seconds before she can go on. ‘I feel like he’s taken a piece of me, just taken it, because he lied and used me, and because …’
She stifles a sob and stares into space. I reach up, moving a strand of hair away from her face, and wait. When the next words finally arrive, quietly laying out her confession, they floor me.
‘He had this thing. He wanted to play games. Role-play. Him forcing himself on me. At least I thought they were games. Now, I’m not so sure. I feel …’ she hesitates, ‘as if he did it for real. Is that stupid?’
‘No.’
‘Was he like that with you?’
‘No. Just controlling. But when I finished with him ...’
She makes eye contact, and I know I don’t have to go on. She understands.
‘He didn’t get the chance,’ I explain. ‘But I felt the same. He’d taken a piece of me too.’ I hold her hand again. ‘When I look at you now, I see me a few years back. Empty, hopeless, scared. I ran away and hid, went into self-destruct mode, and he did that to me. Boyd did that. Whatever self-esteem I had left, he crushed it, sapped every last bit of strength I had. But you know what? It didn’t need to be that way.’
‘It didn’t?’
I shake my head.
‘I could have chosen to come out fighting, but I didn’t, and I lost three years of my life because of it. I don’t want to see you destroyed. No woman should ever be destroyed by a man. I want to see you fight your way out of it because you owe it to yourself.’
‘I need to fight?’ It’s partly a question, partly a half-hearted statement. She doesn’t seem entirely convinced by my speech. Perhaps I should add on a little extra.