by Erica Dyer
“I’m just putting you down with the crew, showing you the area and where all the stash houses are. Of course, I’ll still be in charge of the Florida operations, but you need to know how the whole operation works. Look, I know we got off of on the wrong foot, but my sister means the world to me, and as long as you treat her right, we good.”
“Say less.”
We drove from Ponte Vedra Beach to Miami, hitting Daytona Beach, Saint Lucie, and West Palm Beach in between, then back up the coast to Paul’s house. Ten fucking hours doing pickups with these slow-ass country niggas. I couldn’t wait to get back to my wife. I called the house a few times to make sure she ate and was okay. Kei’ had started doing this silent thing and not eating shit. Y'all know I love my Kei,’ but that shit was weird to me. Finally, getting back to Paul’s house, everyone was downstairs eating.
“Damn, it smells good in here, Keema that you in the kitchen?”
“Don’t let this big house and maids fool you. I throw down in this kitchen,” she said, bringing Paul and me a plate.
“Where’s, Kei?”
“Upstairs watching some damn after-school special,” Naheem said, stuffing food in his mouth.
“Did she eat?”
“No, and Bankz, I’m worried. She has to eat or her, and that baby is not going to make it. I tried to talk to her, but she just stares at the damn TV!”
Keema was really worried about Kei’. Shit, we all were, but Keema was taking it really bad.
“I got this,” I said, taking my plate upstairs to my wife.
“Kei’ come on, bae, you gotta get up and eat.” She looked over at me and smiled but still no words. Walking closer to the bed, I sat in the chair beside the bed.
“Do you remember the first time we met?” She shook her head yes with confusion in her eyes. “I always knew you were going be my wife. When you left the jail, I hopped on the Jimmy Mack and called Sin, and I wanted to know everything there was to know about you, from your favorite flower to the type of toothpaste you used.” We both laughed.
“Real shit Kei’ you are it for me, I can’t lose you, and I damn sure can’t lose my seed,” I said, touching her stomach. “Can you please eat for me, bae?”
With tears in her eyes, she shook her head yes. “By the way, hold on to this for me.”
I pulled out a small ring box. Inside was a Platinum 3.41cctw Cushion Cut Halo diamond ring. While I was out with Paul, we stopped at the Mayors Miami International Mall, Paul was there to pick up some money, but I saw this ring and knew I had to get it for Kei’. The ring set me back $50k, but Kei’ was worth that and more. Getting closer to Kei’ I put the ring on her finger and kissed her hand. After that, Kei’ ate everything that was on the plate and fell asleep. I promised Kei’ and my unborn child we would get through this. I just hoped that was a promise I could keep.
Kei’sha
I didn’t say a word to anyone. I went into my safe place, watching A Different World from the beginning of the series until the last episode, then from the last episode until the first episode. I did that every day the entire time we were in Florida.
“Kei, baby, you good?”
Every day Bishop walked into the room I was staying in and asked the same question, and every day I gave him a thumbs up and continued to watch TV.
“Get up and eat.”
“Yo lil sis, you still watching this damn after-school special,” Paul asked, walking into my room.
“Nigga leave my wife alone.”
“Y’all come on, Kei’ still in the bed,” Paul screamed.
I looked up, and all these fools came into my room with plates of food, thank God the room was big. Paul, Dam, Naheem, and Trevor, sat on the floor at the edge of the bed. Can you imagine four grown-ass men all over 6ft tall sitting on the floor? Lay, Renz, and Lolo came and got in the bed with me. Luckily it was a King-sized bed.
“I know one of y’all better move so I can be near my wife.” Bishop was standing on the side of me with no place to sit
“Nigga bring that chair over here and stop whining.” Renz was the first to say something. The two fought like cats and dogs since the day they met.
“Renz, I swear I’m going to fuck you up.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever nigga take a seat,” Lolo said, jumping into the conversation.
My sisters were sweet and innocent on the outside but were crazy as hell on the inside. Lauren, a.k.a. Renz, was a beast with a gun. You wouldn’t know you were shot until you were at the heaven’s golden gates. London, a.k.a Lolo, had a thing for fire. We all found this out the hard way. One day we were at the mall and saw her little crush walking into Build-A-Bear with another girl. Mind you, I said crush, not her nigga, not her man, side nigga nothing, just a dude she was crushing on. Anyway, Lo asked could we go into Build-A-Bear, never letting us know what was up. We went in there, and this little demon seed walked up to the girl and set her hair on fire and stood there and tried to have a conversation with the girl like she didn’t just commit a damn crime.
“Your name Ashley right, you seem like a nice girl, but you need to leave my nigga alone.”
She walked away, and the store clerk tried to help that poor little girl out. After that, my mom took Lolo to see a therapist, but after the 2nd session, the therapist quit her practice and moved to Arizona. Lolo said the lady kept asking her was she acting out because someone was touching her, and it pissed her off, so she set her car on fire. After that, my mother just let Lolo be Lolo.
“I swear your sisters going to make me fuck them up, ole fake ass Malibu’s Most Wanted,” Bishop said, pulling a chair over to the bed and started feeding me. That was the only way I ate.
Nobody could do it. It had to be him; if he weren’t around, I wouldn’t eat. Bishop was feeding the child growing inside of me, more so me. Being pregnant put me in a bigger depression than being kidnapped, raped, beat, and tortured. At first, I was excited about having Bishop’s baby, but then the idea that this baby could be one of those men really fucked me up. Honestly, I started hating the child growing inside of me. Until I had proof that this child was Bishop’s, I wouldn’t acknowledge it. The little boy in my dream came to me every night assuring me that Bishop was their daddy; however, I didn’t believe it. I wanted him to be right. I needed him to be right. If this baby came out to be Eric’s or any one of those sick bastards, I was giving it up for adoption.
“The doctor said we could get the DNA test done while the baby was still inside if you wanted,” Bishop said, looking down at his phone.
Do you want to know what’s so amazing about my husband? Even when I felt unworthy, dirty, and disgusting, the look in his eyes never changed. I feel confident in saying my husband loved every imperfection about me. I just shrugged and went back to watching TV. Maybe if we found out soon enough, I could abort this bastard seed.
“Why all y’all in here getting on my child’s nerves?” my mom said, walking into the room. Jumping up and running to her arms, I was crying again. I didn’t know she would be here. I thought I wouldn’t see her until I got back to Baltimore.
“Auntie, we were just keeping her company dang,” Naheem said, walking to give her a kiss.
“Naheem, you put your lips on my wife again. I’m going to put a bullet in your skull then cry at your funeral,” my daddy added, mushing Naheem’s head away from my mother.
“Damn, Unc, you going do me like that? This family cutthroat. I’m out. Peace.”
“Where are you going?” Dam asked, Naheem getting up off the floor.
“Nigga is you my woman? If you must know I’m going to do some site seeing and shopping, you know shit people do in Florida.”
“Shut ya corny ass up; I’m coming with you.”
“Me too,” yelled Renz.
“I wanna go,” said Lo.
“No, this isn’t no damn field trip,” Naheem stated, shaking his head.
I cut the TV off and went into the bathroom. That was my way of telling Naheem I was going wit
h him.
“Well, that settles it, a field trip it is,” Lolo said, getting up to go get ready.
“Y’all lucky my sister wants to go, or I’d leave all y’all ass.”
“Whatever nigga go get the damn Scooby van,” Bishop said.
Walking in the bathroom, Bishop stood near the shower waiting for me to get out. Always there by my side. I just prayed I could get over this and be the woman he fell in love with, and I prayed this baby was his. We all piled in a sprinter and drove 5 hours to Collins St. I can’t lie; it felt good to get out of that bed. The sun hitting my face with my husband holding my hand brought peace to my soul.
Bishop went crazy shopping for the baby and me. The damn baby was still the size of a dot and had a wardrobe a grown person would envy. Not only did he buy the child hella clothes, but she/he also had every pair of tennis footlocker had to offer, a Louis Vuitton diaper bag, Gucci this, YSL that, designer, designer, and more designer. Then this fool went and got the same shit for me. I sat back, watching him control the room and run the salespeople crazy. Naheem was pissed we had to keep going back to the van to put bags up. The whole day was just what I needed. When we got back to the house, Bishop ordered all my favorite foods and brought them out back where we all had dinner. Keema was pissed because she cooked every meal we ate and did not like fast food in her house.
“I want to go home,” I said, surprising everyone. This was the first thing I said in 10 days.
“Bet, I’ll get us flights out tomorrow, Paul said, taking his phone out to book flights.
“No, I want to go tonight.”
“Kei, it’s 7 pm. I doubt we can do that,” my mom spoke up.
“Say less. Pack up we out,” Bishop said, getting up from the table.
Touching down, Bishop took me to the condo I brought for him when he first got out. He added some things, but for the most part, everything was still the same.
“Thank you for loving me unconditionally,” I said as we sat in the tub.
“Thank you for showing me what love is, Kei. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Not only are you my wife, because of you, I have a family now. Not on no weird shit, but I love all them loud ass niggas, including your emotional ass big brother.” We laughed, “I have to get used to all this, though.”
“We are one big dysfunctional family,” I said, chuckling.
Getting out the tub, Bishop lotion me up, pulled out some pajamas he purchased for me, then dressed me. He was so gentle with me, and I truly appreciated it. Sex was not an option at the moment, but the intimacy in just being near him again was enough for me.
“Bishop, what if this baby is not yours? What do we do?”
“Kei’ that’s my daughter, DNA wouldn’t change that. If raising her is too much for you, if she’s not mine, I can understand that, but that’s my daughter you are carrying. I wanna show you something.”
He reached for my hand, then walked me down the hall to one of the extra bedrooms. We didn’t know for sure if the baby was a girl or boy, but Bishop was set on it being a girl. Opening the door, I was greeted with a Pink, yellow, and white themed room with Bri’annna written on the wall. He had a crib, full-size bed, changing table, rocking chair, and two dressers in the room. Both dressers were filled with clothes, along with the closet. On the wall, there were pictures of everyone in our big ass family with their relationship to Bri’annna written next to it. Bishop had a big ass TV mounted on the wall as if the child would be watching this big ass TV, a PlayStation, X-box, and iPad on the shelf under the TV.
“Bishop, why are there game systems in here?”
“I didn’t know what type of toys to get her. I mean shit, I never had a kid before.”
“Really, bae,” I laughed. “Where did you get the name Bri’annna from?”
“I was watching Princess and the frog one day; I liked the name the lil black girl had but wanted to put a B in it.”
“When did you ever watch Princess and the frog?”
“You know, in the jail niggas can only watch DVDs and the news. A CO brought that shit in one day, and that name always stuck with me.”
“I got her a whole bunch of Disney movies too, but I want us to watch them first to make sure it isn’t no weird shit going on.”
I walked over to the DVD collection, and it had to be 100-200 DVDs in here.
“Bishop, I’m not watching all of them movies. When did you have time to do all this? And who’s to say we are having a girl? What if it’s a boy?”
“Kei’ trust me, it’s a girl, but just in case it’s not, the room on the other side of the bathroom is decorated just like this except its gray, blue, and yellow and has Bishop Jr. on the walls instead of Bri’annna. I had people working on these rooms while we were in Florida. They redid the whole condo.”
“Bishop, I love it, and I love you. I know you want this baby. I just don’t know, bae,” I cried.
“You remember on the plane when you were telling me about the dreams you were having about a little boy,” Bishop asked, standing behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist.
“You mean BJ?” I questioned.
“I didn’t tell you, but I had the same dreams. I didn’t want you to think a nigga was crazy or anything.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“You see, that’s how I know this baby you carrying is mine. I promise you she is. I know you feel disconnected from her because you think she’s not mine. Baby, I promise you she is.”
“I’m so scared, Bishop; what if I can’t take care of her? So much of her will remind me of what happened to me.”
“Kei, I promise you once you see that little girl looking like you, you won’t remember the negativity around her.”
I sure hope he was right.
6 ½ months later
“I swear to God, Bishop; I’m never having another one of your big-headed kids ever again! UGHHHHH,” I screamed as another contraction came.
“Girl, shut up. You going have ten of my babies, then we’re getting a puppy.”
“I’m never touching you again!”
“Okay, Ms. Williams,” the doctor started to speak.
“Hey, nigga I have done told you her name is Mrs. Blanca!”
Yeah, just to feel you in, Bishop legally changed his name to his mother’s last name.
“I-I-I’m sorry.” The doctor was terrified; Bishop had been screaming at these people for two days. Yes, I was in labor for two fucking days, and this stubborn little girl did not want to make her damn exit, and if she didn’t come out soon, I was reaching in myself and pulling her out.
“Mrs. Blanca, it’s time to push. On my count, I want you to push for ten, then breathe. Got it?”
“Got it. I’m ready.”
“Alright, 3,2,1 push.”
“UGGHHHH!” I screamed.
“That’s good. I see her head. Alright, give me one more good push.”
“I can’t, please, just let me rest. Bishop on God, I hate you.”
He just laughed and got down next to the doctor and started talking to our daughter.
“Hey, lil momma, don’t be messing up my pussy with that big ass head. If it doesn’t snap back, you going to grow up without a father.”
“Bishop, get the fuck away from me,” I yelled.
“She’s out!” the doctor screamed like he was the damn daddy.
“I knew that would work,” Bishop said, smirking.
“Wah wah wah,” my daughter was crying, and her father was about to die.
“Give me my damn child.” When the doctor passed me my baby, I fell in love with her automatically.
“Bishop, you lied to me.”
“Huh, what I do?”
“You said she would look just like me. This baby looks like you spit her out. Ugh, I really don’t like you now.”
“Kei, well, I did put in all the work.”
“Bishop!”
“What it’s true.”
“Just go call the damn fami
ly.”
“We going get put out if all them niggas come up here.”
Bishop walked out to call everyone, and I had some one-on-one time with my new baby. Holding Ms. Bri’annna Gabriella Blanca was truly amazing.
“Man, just get your ass up and come see your niece. Bishop was hanging up the phone.”
“Who was that?”
“Dam ass talking about why we were calling him so early in the morning, nigga it’s 11:13 am.”
“You know, Dam, don’t get up till 2 pm.”
“Well, everyone else is on their way. Moms said we should have called her when you first went into labor. She also said she’s going to kill me for telling security not to let anyone up for visits.”
I busted out laughing; Bishop told security no one could visit me until after the baby was born.
“This the second time someone told me they were going to kill me in one day. I’m scared now,” he said, laughing.
A few hours later, my room was filled with people, gifts, food, and music. Gisella went back into hiding after I was returned home. She moved to Mexico this time, so she wasn’t here with us, but she did call and got me placed in a private suite so we could have more room. I’ve been coming to Johns Hopkins for years and never knew they had private rooms.
“Bishop, I’m getting tired,” I told my husband.
“Ard, I got you, babes. Y’all niggas gotta go.”
“Bishop!”
“Oh, my bad, excuse me, my wife is tired and wants y’all to leave.”
“I’m so glad my parents left already; you are so damn rude.”
“Man, let me say bye to my niece and get out of here before I shoot ole rude ass over there,” Naheem said, getting up from the couch he was sitting in.
“Why this family so damn violent.”
“Why you so rude?” I asked.
Everyone walked out, saying their goodbyes and sending love.
Bishop picked up Bri’annna and walked over to my bed.
“You know when you’re ready, I want like nine more, right?”
Smiling, I put my head down. Having more kids was a touchy subject for me. Since getting back home, I still haven’t healed totally. Physically yeah, I’m good, but mentally it’s some things I still haven’t gotten over, like sex.