He stood erect, his face red: he listened intently. Upstairs, breaking the long silence of the house, opening as it were a window to admit the sun, a voice had uplifted itself in song. The voice had some of the tones of Anne’s voice, and something that reminded him of her voice. But when had he heard her sing? When had aught so clear, so mirthful, or so young fallen from her as this; this melody, laden with life and youth and abundance, that rose and fell and floated to his ears through the half-open door of the staircase?
He crept to the staircase door and listened; yes, it was her voice, but not such as he had ever heard it. It was her voice as he could fancy it in another life, a life in which she was as other girls, darkened by no fear, pinched by no anxiety, crushed by no contumely; such as her voice might have been, uplifted in the garden of his old home on the French border, amid bees and flowers and fresh-scented herbs. Her voice, doubtless, it was; but it sorted so ill with the thoughts he had been thinking, that with his astonishment was mingled something of shock and of loss. He had dreamed of dying for her or with her, and she sang! He was prepared for peril, and her voice vied with the lark’s in joyous trills.
Leaning forward to hear more clearly, he touched the door. It was ajar, and before he could hinder it, it closed with a sharp sound. The singing ceased with an abruptness that told, or he was much mistaken, of self-remembrance. And presently, after an interval of no more than a few seconds, during which he pictured the singer listening, he heard her begin to descend.
Two men may do the same thing from motives as far apart as the poles. Claude did what Louis would have done. As the foot drew near the staircase door, treading, less willingly, less lightly, more like that of Anne with every step, he slid into his closet, and stood. Through the crack between the hinges of the open door, he would be able to view her face when she appeared.
A second later she came, and he saw. The light of the song was still in her eyes, but mingled, as she looked round the room to learn who was there, with something of exaltation and defiance. Christian maidens might have worn some such aspect, he thought — but he was in love — as they passed to the lions. Or Esther, when she went unbidden into the inner court of the King’s House, and before the golden sceptre moved. Something had happened to her. But what?
She did not see him, and after standing a moment to assure herself that she was alone, she passed to the hearth. She lifted the lid of the pot, bent over it, and slowly stirred the broth; then, having covered it again, she began to chop the dried herbs on the platter. Even in her manner of doing this, he fancied a change; a something unlike the Anne he had known, the Anne he had come to love. The face was more animated, the action quicker, the step lighter, the carriage more free. She began to sing, and stopped; fell into a reverie, with the knife in her hand, and the herb half cut; again roused herself to finish her task; finally having slid the herbs from the platter to the pot, she stood in a second reverie, with her eyes fixed on the window.
He began to feel the falseness of his position. It was too late to show himself, and if she discovered him what would she think of him? Would she believe that in spying upon her he had some evil purpose, some low motive, such as Louis might have had? His cheek grew hot. And then — he forgot himself.
Her eyes had left the window and fallen to the window-seat. It was the thing she did then which drew him out of himself. Moving to the window — he had to stoop forward to keep her within the range of his sight — she took from it a glove, held it a moment, regarding it; then with a tender, yet whimsical laugh, a laugh half happiness, half ridicule of herself, she kissed it.
It was Claude’s glove. And if, with that before his eyes he could have restrained himself, the option was not his. She turned in the act, and saw him; with a startled cry she put — none too soon — the table between them.
They faced one another across it, he flushed, eager, with love in his eyes, and on his lips; she blushing but not ashamed, her new-found joy in her eyes, and in the pose of her head.
“Anne!” he cried. “I know now! I know! I have seen and you cannot deceive me!”
“In what?” she said, a smile trembling on her lips. “And of what, Messer Claude, are you so certain, if you please?”
“That you love me!” he replied. “But not a hundredth part” — he stretched his arms across the table towards her “as much as I love you and have loved you for weeks! As I loved you even before I learned last night — —”
“What?” Into her face — that had not found one hard look to rebuke his boldness — came something of her old silent, watchful self. “What did you learn last night?”
“Your secret!”
“I have none!” Quick as thought the words came from her lips. “I have none! God is merciful,” with a gesture of her open arms, as if she put something from her, “and it is gone! If you know, if you guess aught of what it was” — her eyes questioned his and read in them if not that which he knew, that which he thought of her.
“I ask you to be silent.”
“I will, after I have — —”
“Now! Always!”
“Not till I have spoken once!” he cried. “Not till I have told you once what I think of you! Last night I heard. And I understood. I saw what you had gone through, what you had feared, what had been your life all these weeks, rising and lying down! I saw what you meant when you bade me go anywhere but here, and why you suffered what you did at their hands, and why they dared to treat you — so! And had they been here I would have killed them!” he added, his eyes sparkling. “And had you been here — —”
“Yes?” she did not seek to check him now. Her bearing was changed, her eyes, soft and tender, met his as no eyes had ever met his.
“I should have worshipped you! I should have knelt as I kneel now!” he cried. And sinking on his knees he extended his arms across the table and took her unresisting hands. “If you no longer have a secret, you had one, and I bless God for it! For without it I might not have known you, Anne! I might not have — —”
“Perhaps you do not know me now,” she said; but she did not withdraw her hands or her eyes. Only into the latter grew a shade of trouble. “I have done — you do not know what I have done. I am a thief.”
“Pah!”
“It is true. I am a thief.”
“What is it to me?” He laughed a laugh as tender as her eyes. “You are a thief, for you have stolen my heart. For the rest, do you think that I do not know you now? That I can be twice deceived? Twice take gold for dross, and my own for another thing? I know you!”
“But you do not know,” she said tremulously, “what I have done — what I did last night — or what may come of it.”
“I know that what comes of it will happen, not to one but to two,” he replied bravely. “And that is all I ask to know. That, and that you are content it shall be so?”
“Content?”
“Yes.”
“Content!”
There are things, other than wine, that bring truth to the surface. That which had happened to the girl in the last few hours, that which had melted her into unwonted song, was of these things; and the tone of her voice as she repeated the word “Content!” the surrender of her eyes that placed her heart in his keeping, as frankly as she left her hands in his, proclaimed it. The reserves of her sex, the tricks of coyness and reticence men look for in maids, were shaken from her; and as man to man her eyes told him the truth, told him that if she had ever doubted she no longer doubted that she loved him. In the heart which a single passion, the purest of which men and women are capable, had engrossed so long, Nature, who, expel her as you will, will still return, had won her right and carved her kingdom.
And she knew that it was well with her — whatever the upshot of last night. To be lonely no more; to be no longer the protector, but the protected; to know the comfort of the strong arm as well as of the following eye, the joy of receiving as well as of giving; to know that, however dark the future might lower, she had no l
onger to face it alone, no longer to plan and hope and fear and suffer alone, but with him — the sense of these things so mingled with her gratitude on her mother’s account that the new affection, instead of weakening the old became as it were part of it; while the old stretched onwards its pious hand to bless the new.
If Claude did not read all this in her eyes, and in that one word “Content?” he read so much that never devotee before relic rose more gently or more reverently to his feet. Because all was his he would take nothing. “As I stand by you, may God stand by me,” he said, still holding her hands in his, and with the table between them.
“I have no fear,” she replied in a low voice. “Yet — if you fail, may He forgive you as fully as I must forgive you. What shall I say to you on my part, Messer Claude?”
“That you love me.”
“I love you,” she murmured with an intonation which ravished the young man’s heart and brought the blood to his cheeks. “I love you. What more?”
“There is no more,” he cried. “There can be no more. If that be true, nothing matters.”
“No!” she said, beginning to tremble under a weight of emotion too heavy for her, following as it did the excitement of the night. “No!” she continued, raising her eyes which had fallen before the ardour of his gaze. “But there must be something you wish to ask me. You must wish to know — —”
“I have heard what I wished to know.”
“But — —”
“Tell me what you please.”
She stood in thought an instant: then, with a sigh, “He came to me last evening,” she said, “when you were at his house.”
“Messer Blondel?”
“Yes. He wished me to procure for him a certain drug that Messer Basterga kept in his room.”
Claude stared. “In a steel casket chained to the wall?” he asked.
“Yes,” she whispered with some surprise. “You knew of it, then? He had tried to procure it through Louis, and on the pretence that the box contained papers needed by the State. Failing in that he came last evening to me, and told me the truth.”
“The truth?” Claude asked, wondering. “But was it the truth?”
“It was.” Her eyes, like stars on a rainy night, shone softly. “I have proved it.” Again, with a ring of exultation in her voice, “I have proved it!” she cried.
“How?”
“There was in the box a drug, he told me, possessed of an almost miraculous power over disease of body and mind; so rare and so wonderful that none could buy it, and he knew of but this one dose, of which Messer Basterga had possessed himself. He begged me to take it and to give it to him. He had on him, he said, a fatal illness, and if he did not get this — he must die.” Her voice shook. “He must die! Now God help him!”
“You took it.”
“I took it.” Her face, as her eyes dropped before his, betrayed trouble and doubt. “I took it,” she continued, trembling. “If I have done wrong, God forgive me. For I stole it.”
His face betrayed his amazement, but he did not release her hands. “Why?” he said.
“To give it to her,” she answered. “To my mother. I thought then that it was right — it was a chance. I thought — now I don’t know, I don’t know!” she repeated. The shade on her face grew deeper. “I thought I was right then. Now — I — I am frightened.” She looked at him with eyes in which her doubts were mirrored. She shivered, she who had been so joyous a moment before, and her hands, which hitherto had lain passive in his, returned his pressure feverishly. “I fear now!” she exclaimed. “I fear! What is it? What has happened — in the last minute?”
He would have drawn her to him, seeing that her nerves were shaken; but the table was between them, and before he could pass round it, a sound caught his ear, a shadow fell between them, and looking up he discovered Basterga’s face peering through the nearer casement. It was pressed against the small leaded panes, and possibly it was this which by flattening the huge features imparted to them a look of malignity. Or the look — which startled Claude, albeit he was no coward — might have been only the natural expression of one, who suspected what was afoot between them and came to mar it. Whatever it meant, the girl’s cry of dismay found an echo on Claude’s lips. Involuntarily he dropped her hands; but — and the action was symbolical of the change in her life — he stepped at the same moment between her and the door. Whatever she had done, right or wrong, was his concern now.
CHAPTER XVII.
THE REMEDIUM.
We have seen that for Claude, as he hurried from the bridge, the faces he met in the narrow streets of the old town were altered by the medium through which he viewed them; and appeared gloomy, sordid and fanatical. In the eyes of Blondel, who had passed that way before him, the same faces wore a look of selfishness, stupendously and heartlessly cruel. And not the faces only; the very houses and ways, the blue sky overhead, and the snow-peaks — when for an instant he caught sight of them — bore the same aspect. All wore their every-day air, and mocked the despair in his heart. All flung in his teeth the fact, the incredible fact, that whether he died or lived, stayed or went, the world would proceed; that the eternal hills, ay, and the insensate bricks and mortar, that had seen his father pass, would see him pass, and would be standing when he was gone into the darkness.
There are few things that to the mind of man in his despondent moods are more strange, or more shocking, than the permanence of trifles. The small things to which his brain and his hand have given shape, which he can, if he will, crush out of form, and resolve into their primitive atoms, outlive him! They lie on the table when he is gone, are unchanged by his removal, serve another master as they have served him, preach to another generation the same lesson. The face is dust, but the canvas smiles from the wall. The hand is withered, but the pencil is still in the tray and is used by another. There are times when the irony of this thought bites deep into the mind, and goads the mortal to revolt. Had Blondel, as he climbed the hill, possessed the power of Orimanes to blast at will, few of those whom he met, few on whom he turned the gloomy fire of his eyes, would have reached their houses that day or seen another sun.
He was within a hundred paces of his home, when a big man, passing along the Bourg du Four, but on the other side of the way, saw him and came across the road to intercept him. It was Baudichon, his double chin more pendulent, his massive face more dully wistful than ordinary; for the times had got upon the Councillor’s nerves, and day by day he grew more anxious, slept worse of nights, and listened much before he went to bed.
“Messer Blondel,” he called out, in a voice more peremptory than was often addressed to the Fourth Syndic’s ear. “Messer Syndic! One moment, if you please!”
Blondel stopped and turned to him. Outwardly the Syndic was cool, inwardly he was at a white heat that at any moment might impel him to the wildest action. “Well?” he said. “What is it, M. Baudichon?”
“I want to know — —”
“Of course!” The sneer was savage and undisguised. “What, this time, if I may be so bold?”
Baudichon breathed quickly, partly with the haste he had made across the road, partly in irritation at the gibe. “This only,” he said. “How far you purpose to try our patience? A week ago you were for delaying the arrest you know of — for a day. It was a matter of hours then.”
“It was.”
“But days have passed, and are passing! and we have no explanation; nothing is done. And every night we run a fresh risk, and every morning — so far — we thank God that our throats are still whole; and every day we strive to see you, and you are out, or engaged, or about to do it, or awaiting news! But this cannot go on for ever! Nor,” puffing out his cheeks, “shall we always bear it!”
“Messer Baudichon!” Blondel retorted, the passion he had so far restrained gleaming in his eyes, and imparting a tremor to his voice, “are you Fourth Syndic or am I?”
“You! You, certainly. Who denies it?” the stout man said. “But �
�� —”
“But what? But what?”
“We would know what you think we are, that we can bear this suspense.”
“I will tell you what I think you are!”
“By your leave?”
“A fat hog!” the Syndic shrieked. “And as brainless as a hog fit for the butcher! That for you! and your like!”
And before the astounded Baudichon, whose brain was slow to take in new facts, had grasped the full enormity of the insult flung at him, the Syndic was a dozen paces distant. He had eased his mind, and that for the moment was much; though he still ground his teeth, and, had Baudichon followed him, would have struck the Councillor without thought or hesitation. The pigs! The hogs! To press him with their wretched affairs: to press him at this moment when the grave yawned at his feet, and the coffin opened for him!
To be sure he might now do with Basterga as he pleased without thought or drawback; but for their benefit — never! He paused at his door, and cast a haggard glance up and down; at the irregular line of gables which he had known from childhood, the steep, red roofs, the cobble pavement, the bakers’ signs that hung here and there and with the wide eaves darkened the way; and he cursed all he saw in the frenzy of his rage. Let Basterga, Savoy, d’Albigny do their worst! What was it to him? Why should he move? He went into his house despairing.
Unto this last hour a little hope had shone through the darkness. At times the odds had seemed to be against him, at one time Heaven itself had seemed to declare itself his foe. But the remedium had existed, the thing was still possible, the light burned, though distant, feeble, flickering. He had told himself that he despaired; but he had not known what real despair was until this moment, until he sat, as he saw now, among the Dead Sea splendours of his parlour, the fingers of his right hand drumming on the arm of the abbot’s chair, his shaggy eyelids drooping over his brooding eyes.
Ah, God! If he had stayed to take the stuff when it lay in his power! If he had refused to open until he held it in his hand! If, even after that act of folly, he had refused to go until she gave it him! How inconceivable his madness seemed now, his fear of scandal, his thought of others! Others? There was one of whom he dared not think; for when he did his head began to tremble on his shoulders; and he had to clutch the arms of the chair to stay the palsy that shook him. If she, the girl who had destroyed him, thought it was all one to him whom the drug advantaged, or who lived or who died, he would teach her — before he died! He would teach her! There was no extremity of pain or shame she should not taste, accursed witch, accursed thief, as she was! But he must not think of that, or of her, now; or he would die before his time. He had a little time yet, if he were careful, if he were cool, if he were left a brief space to recover himself. A little, a very little time!
Complete Works of Stanley J Weyman Page 420