by Zoey Draven
A thought occurred to me. “Can I keep this?” I asked the weapons master.
He slanted his gaze down to the pitiful arrow and inclined his head in a nod, biting back a laugh. “Lysi. Whatever you wish.”
At that, I tucked the arrow into the waistband of my pants.
“Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said before making my way to the entrance, wiping my arm over my forehead, and securing my pelt. The Dakkari boy handed me his own small pelt, no doubt crafted by his mother, and I felt something like longing lodge in my throat as I helped him secure it. “Ready?”
“Ready?” he repeated slowly. It sounded like ‘reedy.’
I smiled and nodded, and we both ducked from the tent.
“Oh,” I whispered, stunned. The first thing that hit me was the cold. How much colder it felt outside than it had that morning, on account of being inside the sweltering heat of the voliki for the majority of the morning. The cold began to seep into my clothes, beginning from my boots, threading its fingers underneath my pelt and tunic. My sweat did nothing to deter it—it only made the cold worse.
The second thing I noticed was that the warriors were training. I hadn’t heard the sounds of blades and grunts above the roaring forge and my own concentration, but now the sounds hit me square in the chest. And it answered one of my earlier questions…that they did train even during the cold season.
Seerin was among them. My gaze zeroed in on him, another shiver going down my spine that had nothing to do with the icy chill. He was taking on two opponents, his brow furrowed in intensity, his lips turned down with concentration and focus.
His head jerked when he spotted me with the Dakkari boy at my side. I probably looked like a wild mess, flushed and shivering, but I felt his hot gaze seep into me, banishing the tendrils of cold that crawled over my flesh.
He’d been gone that morning when I woke, but my new bed still smelled like him. Now, his scent would be all over my furs and, thus, all over my skin until I washed him away.
It only took that small moment of distraction on his part and I gasped when one of the warriors leveled his sword at his throat, nicking the strong column of his neck.
Seerin froze, a strange expression whipping across his features. His eyes left mine and went to the warrior, who lowered his sword. But even from a distance, I could see that the demon king was…disturbed.
He didn’t meet my eyes again. In fact, it seemed like he did everything in his power not to look my way again.
Throat tight, I said to the boy, “Let’s go find your mother.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“Come,” I rasped to Nelle when I ducked my head inside her voliki, seeing her sitting at the low table, though it was clear she was finished eating her meal.
Her eyes turned to me and she rose. I waited outside in the night air as she dressed for the short walk to my own voliki.
I was irritated and on edge and conflicted about this night.
After the distraction in the training grounds that day, after another mind-numbing and frustrating meeting with the council, Vodan had once again confronted me about Nelle, telling me I’d been seen leaving her voliki in the early morning hours.
I’d told him to vok off, which I only marginally regretted and which shocked him greatly. But I was growing impatient with the constant speculation and pressure from my pujerak. Sometimes, he seemed to forget I was Vorakkar of the horde, not him.
Not only that, but being in Nelle’s bed the night before, taking her mouth when I pleased, feeling her wrap her body around me in sleep, had left me aching and needful.
As Vorakkar, it was easy for me to seek out sex. There were dozens of unmated females within my horde who had made their interest clear. And I had fucked a few of them throughout the years when the needs of my body grew too great.
Otherwise, I’d learned to abstain. I didn’t believe in using my horde as a harem, which had been the case in the ancient years of the Vorakkars. Sex blurred lines better not crossed…and like I’d always known, females were dangerous.
But now, with the maddening thissie sleeping in my arms, which was of my own doing, I was growing hungry. All I needed to do was think of her, of her wide eyes and her pink lips, and I needed her desperately.
Nelle emerged from the tent just then, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Did she sense the blackened waves of my mood? She looked at me evenly, without fear, but watchful.
I turned and made the quick stride up the incline to my voliki. I heard the soft crunch of her footsteps behind me, over the forming ice.
I held the entrance flap open for her and then followed her inside. One of the horde females must’ve delivered my meal earlier because it was perched on the low table. A bath, still warm, was in the corner and a low fire flickered in the basin.
Approaching, I threw more fuel onto it, letting it roar.
“Time is strange,” she said softly behind me. “I was just here and yet it feels like it’s been weeks.”
“Time seems slower in the cold,” I murmured, staring at the flames.
“I have something for you.”
I blinked and then turned to look at her, frowning. “Neffar?”
She approached, a hint of a smile on her lips. Her cheeks were red even from the brief moment outside. She pulled something from her waistband and thrust it towards me.
I took the slim shaft of metal from her grip, my chest tightening when I saw a thissie feather tied to the end, and I realized what it was.
My eyes went to her pendant, which hung around her neck, noticing there was one less, and then back to the feather tied around the arrow with slim black cord.
“It’s terrible, I know,” she said, looking down at it between my fingertips. “But the weapons master said it took him three days to create one, so I figured I have time to learn.”
It was terrible. The shaft of the arrow was bent, the metal fletching skewed. Yet it was the best thing I’d ever seen because of what it was…a gift. A precious one, judging from the feather tied to the flattened nock, because I knew how much those feathers meant to her.
“Vok,” I cursed softly, something rising in my chest, threatening to choke me. “Vok!”
Her face fell. Her voice went quiet when she asked, “You don’t like it?”
A memory rose in my mind, from the day I took her from her village, and I grabbed the back of her neck. Pressing my forehead to hers, I rasped, my voice bordering on anger, “How is it that no male in your village claimed you?”
“What?” she whispered, wide-eyed and bewildered.
“If I was a vekkiri male in your village, I would have claimed you as my own long ago, rei thissie.”
She looked stunned by my words, words I probably should not have spoken out loud. Her lips parted but I didn’t hesitate. I kissed her hard, devouring her mouth the way I’d craved all day. It was almost punishing.
I poured my rage and my need into her. Her hands clutched at my chest and her little sounds of surprise drifted across my lips.
When she flinched, I realized I had gripped her waist too hard and my claws had pricked through the thick material of her tunic.
With a curse, I pulled away, dragging deep breaths into my nostrils.
“I should not have told you to come tonight,” I growled softly, avoiding her eyes, realizing that I still had her arrow pinched between my fingertips. “I am in a dark mood. You should leave.”
“I won’t, Seerin,” she said softly.
“Why?” I snarled.
“Because you’re my friend,” she explained easily, “and you said so yourself…I gave you my food so I must care for you.”
I closed my eyes, scrubbing a hand over my face.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
I laughed. “What is wrong?” I repeated.
With Dothik looming—knowing I would face not only the Dothikkar but my mother—with the fissures within the council, and the constant disapproval of my actions by my oldest
friend, there was much to choose from.
But what I was angry about the most?
It was the realization that I wanted this female as mine. It was the realization that I wanted her in the most primal of ways, that I wanted to plant my seed deep in her belly, and have her at my side and under my furs as my Morakkari, as my wife, as my mate…just as Kakkari had shown me.
It was the realization that I wanted Nelle as mine and I couldn’t have her. Not without risking alienating the rest of my council, my pujerak, and the horde. Not without risking the wrath of the Dothikkar, who still thought of me as a bastard duvna. Despite what I’d told Nelle last night, the Dothikkar still held sway within the hordes and there were those that remained faithful to him even on the plains.
And the horde always come first, I repeated for the millionth time, as if I needed to remember.
My expression must’ve been thunderous, indeed, because she said, “You are in a dark mood tonight, Seerin. But don’t worry, I’m not afraid.”
“You should be.”
“Will you hurt me?”
My brow furrowed and I growled out, “Nik.”
“Then why should I be afraid?”
Belatedly, staring down at the feather on the arrow, I realized that I would hurt her. Before this was done. Just not in the way she referred to.
The honorable part of me should’ve sent her away right then. That was what a kinder male would’ve done.
Instead, I placed her arrow on my cabinet carefully and told her, “Very well, thissie. If you will not leave, then you can begin your duties as rei alukkiri this night.”
“And what will you have me do?” she asked, curiosity warring with wariness in her gaze.
If she knew what an alukkiri really was, she never would’ve accepted the bargain I’d offered her.
“You will wash me. And then you will apply my oils afterwards,” I told her, the thought of her hands gliding over my body making my voice darken.
I heard her swallow.
I couldn’t help but step closer, couldn’t help but run my fingers through her soft, black hair.
“A good alukkiri would bathe with me,” I murmured.
Her eyes went wide and then accusation entered her gaze. “Your bargain was an attempt to get me in your bed, wasn’t it?”
“You were already in my bed,” I pointed out to her.
“You know what I mean. You wanted sex. Alukkiri…they are lovers, aren’t they? During the cold season?”
Despite my darkened mood, despite my overwhelming need, I wanted to laugh.
“More often than not,” I rasped, my hands going to my pelt. “Lysi.”
She made a sound in the back of her throat, a small, surprised one, and watched as I began to undress.
“How many have you had?” she asked next, her voice soft. I heard something strange in her tone and looked at her closely.
“Alukkiri?”
“Yes.”
I finished undressing, turning towards the bath. “None.”
“What?”
“Did the thought make you jealous, rei thissie?” I rasped, stepping into the bathing tub, the warm water wrapping around my body. I relaxed, leaning my head back.
“I don’t know,” she said, her tone bewildered, drawing closer to the bath. “I suppose I felt something like discomfort at the thought.”
I shook my head, unable to stop the affection rising in my chest at her innocent and refreshingly honest words. “You are supposed to play coy, kalles. You are supposed to deny my words and make me wonder if you truly care for me at all.”
“That seems like a lot of work for something you already know the answer to,” she informed me, frowning. “Is that what a Dakkari female would’ve done?”
“Lysi. Undoubtedly.”
She jumped into her next question. “Why have you never taken an alukkiri before? I thought you said it was your luxury to choose one as Vorakkar. And I am certain that many females would have been willing.”
“You are certain?” I asked.
“Yes, don’t you remember the female who delivered your meal?”
“I do.”
“You could’ve chosen her,” she pointed out before her lips pressed together, as if, belatedly, she realized the idea upset her.
“I wanted you,” I rasped when she kneeled next to the bathing tub.
She blinked and went quiet. Then she said softly, “You didn’t answer my question.”
“You ask a lot of them, thissie.”
“Seerin.”
I liked my name on her lips too much. “Because sex can be complicated and it was easier not to take an alukkiri.”
“But…” she trailed off, her gaze dropping. It drove me to madness when she grew shy, because it was not a word I would ever use to describe her. This was the kalles who’d shamelessly peeked into the common bathing voliki, after all. “But you want to have sex with me.”
I growled. “You wish to talk about sex, thissie?”
My cock throbbed at the thought and I swallowed past the thick lump in my throat.
“You know I’m untried, Seerin, don’t you?”
A virgin.
My nostrils flared. I hadn’t known for certain, but I had my suspicions.
“You said you were immune to desire,” I rasped. The corner of my lip curled slightly. “Immune to me.”
Her face heated. “I said that because I didn’t trust you then.”
I stilled. “You trust me now?”
She blinked twice before she said softly, “Yes, I believe I do.”
I didn’t know if her words made me feel elated or disturbed. How could she trust me after what I’d done to her?
“I don’t think any female could be completely immune to you,” she added quietly.
I inhaled a long, slow breath through my nostrils.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for sex yet,” she said. “But I do know that I like when you kiss me. I like how you make me feel and I know I want more.”
I licked my bottom lip. My body reacted to her words like she’d just whispered the filthiest things in my ear.
“Lysi?” I growled.
“Yes,” she whispered, holding my eyes.
“There is so much that I can show you, thissie,” I told her.
Her lips parted. I could see her burning curiosity. Curiosity I would assuage thoroughly once she was ready. My female was curious about sex and that knowledge was almost my undoing.
“That I will show you,” I promised.
Her eyes caught on the washing cloth draped over the edge of the bathing tub. I reached out to take it before holding it to her, raising a brow, a challenge in my gaze.
One thing I was learning about my thissie was that she never backed down from a challenge.
My dark grin formed when she took the cloth from my grip.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Tell me about how you came to be on Dakkar,” Seerin requested, as if he knew I needed a distraction as I dipped the cloth under the water and touched it to his bare skin.
I was thankful for the change in subject given the way my pulse was fluttering in my throat.
The warm water came up to the crease of my elbow. I started somewhere safe, though my body was humming with something he pulled from it. The cloth glided over his arms as I started at his shoulders, scrubbing his skin gently.
I’d never washed another, but it was surprisingly…intimate.
I swallowed, watching the cloth drag over his body, and I said, “I was a newborn when I came here.”
“So young?” he asked, frowning.
“Jana said my father was a pilot. After the old Earth colonies fell during the war, he would shuttle human refugees across the universe, delivering them wherever they were agreed to be taken in.”
Like on Dakkar. That was why there were human settlements, because the Dothikkar had accepted gold from the Uranian Federation as payment. Allegedly.
“He died on one such tran
sport. His ship was destroyed, leaving my mother alone. She was pregnant at the time and his death left her…Jana said she wasn’t in her right mind. She loved him very much, but I think it was the prospect of caring for a child, alone, after losing the only home she’d ever known, and rebuilding on a new planet was too painful.”
I spoke of these things as if they were stories I’d heard, as if they weren’t the events at the beginning of my life. And they were just that…stories. Stories Jana had told me because she’d been there. I couldn’t remember these things.
I dragged the cloth down his other arm, leaning over the tub, the ends of my hair dipping into the water.
“I was born in the stars,” I told him, my throat tightening.
“You are a starling?” he rumbled, his brow furrowing though I didn’t know why, wrapping his finger around a strand of my hair.
I’d never heard that term before, but I nodded. “I suppose. My mother gave birth to me on our way here, to Dakkar, on a refugee vessel. And then three days later, she decided to join my father willingly, wherever he is.”
He stilled.
“Jana was just a woman she met on the ship. They shared one of the rooms together and Jana had helped deliver me.”
“But you didn’t consider her your mother, though she took you in and raised you?” he questioned.
“She never wanted to be,” I confessed, a familiar feeling of sadness and rejection washing over me. “I loved her and I think in her own way, she loved me too. But she also saw me as a burden, another mouth to feed besides her own in an already hungry village, a child she hadn’t asked for. And so, a large part of her always resented me for it.”
His lips pressed together, but his expression was unreadable. “How did Jana die?”
“Sickness,” I said and that was all I would say. I didn’t like to think about those days I’d tried to help her. I didn’t like to remember.
“Then you were alone,” he murmured, reaching out to stroke my face, his lips turning down into a frown.
“Yes,” I whispered, a shiver racing down my spine. I moved the cloth to his chest and made little circles.