by Jaci Burton
“We have to bring the twins for story time next Saturday,” a man named Harrison said. “Don’t you think they’d love it, Tess?”
The gorgeous redhead next to him nodded. “Definitely. Libraries meant everything to me as a child. I know Marcus and Mandy will love the library.”
Jillian smiled. “You’re both welcome to come with the twins. We have coffee and tea and baked goods for the adults, and I have a couple of my assistants who help out with the kids. You can sit with the kids or browse books while we do story time.”
“It sounds perfect,” Tess said. “The kids will enjoy that. And so will we.”
“We should make plans to go together,” another guy said. “You know if Tess goes, Wendy will want to go, too.”
“I’ll call her and tell her about it,” Tess said. “We’ll make plans.”
Jillian beamed a smile over at Josie, and she couldn’t have been happier for her friend. Building up the library’s programs was one of her main goals for the year. There were library regulars, of course. Josie had been one of them as soon as she’d moved to Hope. But infusing the library with new patrons would be fantastic, especially if Jillian could foster a love of books in children. It was one of her favorite things, and something they both talked about often at book club.
Josie followed Stephen to the buffet, where she piled her plate high with shrimp and crab and all the wonderful sides.
“Which one did you make?” she asked him.
“Oh, this one,” he said, pointing to the stuffed crab. “But I have to confess I didn’t make it. I’m not much of a cook.”
“So you bought it?” They made their way over to a table.
“No, my mom made it. She’s a great cook.”
“Lucky for you, huh?”
He laughed. “Yeah.”
He hadn’t asked what she’d brought so he could taste it. She also noticed he only filled his plate with meat and seafood dishes.
“You don’t like vegetables?” she asked, nodding toward his plate.
“Oh no. I mean, yes, vegetables are fine. I’m trying out this diet. I’m training for this ironman triathlon and working on adding some proteins into my diet, so a lot of lean meats and fish dishes.”
“But wouldn’t vegetables fill your body with some necessary vitamins for fuel? And don’t you need carbs?”
He gave her an indulgent smile, the kind a parent would give a child. She instantly lost interest in him. “People who don’t know anything about how an athlete trains would think that.”
As they ate, he proceeded to educate her about his diet and his training routine. In detail. He seemed nice enough, but it was clear that working out, training and eating were his entire life. He never once asked her about her life or her interests.
Right now, one of her interests was not being the least bit interested in Stephen. She hoped her boredom wasn’t evident on her face. She tried to look interested, but after being lectured at for thirty minutes, she was ready to flee. Unfortunately, Jillian was locked into a deep conversation with Jeff, so she wasn’t able to make eye contact and send a visual signal for help. Not that she could blame her friend. Jillian was in the initial stages of attraction with a very hot guy, which meant she had eyes only for Jeff.
Which also meant Josie was on her own. She looked over at Stephen. “Excuse me. I’ll be back.”
She stood and Stephen looked anxious. “Where are you going?”
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “The restroom.”
“Oh. Okay. I’ll hold your seat.”
“You do that.”
If she was lucky, maybe one of his friends would sit down and engage him in conversation about beef protein shakes or something and he’d forget she existed.
She hightailed it out of the main room and down the hall, taking as long as she could in the ladies’ room. She washed her hands, retouched her lipstick, fluffed her hair, and checked her earrings. She looked at her phone, and, dammit, not a single text message.
Giving up, she finally exited the bathroom and wandered the clubhouse, deciding to check out the window display at the shop.
Golf clubs were so interesting.
“Thinking about taking up golf?”
She quickly turned around at the familiar voice. Zach stood there with a plate in his hand.
“Hi, Zach. I didn’t know you were going to be here.”
“I am. And I’m late, too. I’d better take this plate inside. Want to go inside with me?”
“Uh …” She looked at the main doors and hesitated, figuring Stephen would pounce on her as soon as she went back in there.
He frowned. “Something wrong?”
“I met this guy. He kind of attached himself to me, and he and I have nothing in common. Like, really nothing in common.”
“Oh. Easy enough to rectify.” He took her hand and led her inside.
She was right about Stephen. As soon as she walked through the doors, Stephen leaped from his seat and came over to her. He noticed Zach holding her hand, too.
“I thought maybe you got lost.”
“No, I ran into Zach. Zach Powers, this is Stephen. Sorry, Dr. Stephen …
“Belson,” Stephen said.
Zach handed over his plate to Josie in order to shake Stephen’s hand. She noticed he hadn’t let go of Josie’s hand.
Interesting.
“Nice to meet you, Stephen. Josie tells me you kept her company while she was waiting for me.”
“Oh. You’re her date?”
“Yup. I’m her guy.”
Josie resisted the urge to let out an audible sigh of relief. Instead, she leaned into Zach. “Yes, he’s my guy.”
“Oh. I see. Well, you two have a fun night.”
“Thanks, Stephen. I enjoyed—”
Stephen had already made his exit.
“Talking to you,” she finished.
Zach looked over her. “No you didn’t.”
Her lips curved. “No, I didn’t.”
“That bad?”
“He runs triathlons. Eats a lot of meat. Big into his … physical conditioning. He knows nothing about me because he never asked.”
“Oh. One of those.”
“Yes. Anyway, what did you bring? And are you secretly a doctor and never told me?”
He laughed. “I made a prosciutto and fennel salad with pomegranates.”
He laid his plate on the buffet table and popped the top off the container. The salad looked amazing. Though she’d already eaten, Josie intended to take a taste.
“This looks delicious, Zach.” She grabbed a plate and scooped some onto it.
“What did you bring?” he asked.
And he’d asked her what she’d brought. Of course he had, because Zach was that kind of guy. Which was why she liked him. She smiled up at him. “The lemon pie.”
He nodded. “Nice. I’ll have a slice. Or maybe two. And no, obviously I’m not a doctor. But I contribute to the charity, so they invite me. This is the thing I was going to invite you to tonight.”
Since she was at the buffet, she went for seconds on the crab salad as well. She glanced over at him. “Ohhh.”
“And we ended up in the same place anyway. Kind of like it’s meant to be, huh?”
“Funny how that turned out.” Happily, too. He was her rescuer, and, she had to admit, she was happy to see him. For more reasons than just the rescue.
They took a seat at an available table. Josie looked around for Stephen but didn’t see him anywhere. Maybe he’d left. She hoped not. He wasn’t for her, but she didn’t want him to feel left out since this was his event, not hers.
She finally spotted him at a table talking to a pretty redhead. The two of them were engrossed in conversation with each other, and the woman didn’t appear to be looking for an escape route, so Josie was happy about that.
“Where’s Jillian?” Zach asked.
“On the dance floor with Jeff,” she said. She’d been keeping an eye on her fri
end, figuring it was her duty to make sure Jillian was having a good time, but not act as third wheel and hang around too closely. She scooped up a forkful of the salad Zach had made. It was delicious and flavorful. “Your salad is really good. You made this?”
“You sound surprised. I have skills, you know.”
“I’m sure you have many skills. I just didn’t know that cooking was one of them.”
He dipped his chin and leveled the kind of smile at her that made everything inside her quiver in response.
“I know many things. Can do many things. I’m extremely talented with my hands.”
“Now, there’s an innuendo I can get behind.”
“Can you?”
“Definitely. I mean, we keep ending up in the same places. It’s like fate is throwing us together. Like we’re meant to be.”
He gave her an odd look, so she knew she had to clarify. “I mean ‘meant to be’ in the sense that we should have sex.”
He coughed and grabbed for his water, taking a couple of large swallows. “Okay. Didn’t expect that.”
“I didn’t expect to say it. Not like … all out there like that. I’m usually more subtle.” She looked around to make sure no one had heard her boldly proposition Zach like that.
But instead of pushing the issue, he let it drop, which surprised her. Most guys would have pressed it, suggesting they leave after she’d thrown out that not-even-veiled suggestion. Instead, he stood and held his hand out toward her.
“Would you like to dance?”
He was a constant surprise. She stood and slid her hand in his. “Sure.”
The music was slow and easy, a song she recognized and happened to love. Zach pulled her close and they swayed together, giving her a chance to breathe him in. He smelled clean and crisp and very male. She wanted to get closer, to put her nose in his neck and inhale deeply of whatever that scent was. Soap, probably. Whatever it was, it was the sexiest damn soap she’d ever smelled. She resisted the urge, because she was still a little embarrassed about blurting out the “Let’s Have Sex” thing. Instead, she focused on the feel of his body pressed against hers, how tall he was in comparison to her, and how firm his thighs were, all which did nothing to change her focus from all things sex to something a little more innocuous.
She had to face it. She had sex on the brain whenever she was around Zach. Hence the blurting. It was probably time to do something about how she felt. It wasn’t like it was a big deal. They could keep emotion out of it, have some fun, and maybe it would clear her head. After all, sex had been off the table for a long time for her. Some no-holds-barred, all-night sex was probably just what she needed. And with someone like Zach, who smelled great and felt good and was fun? She knew she could have a good time with him. Plus, he never seemed to take anything too seriously. It wasn’t like he was out there scouting out a potential wife or anything. So her heart would be safe.
He leaned back so he could look at her. “Lost in the music?”
She smiled. “Something like that. I do like this song.”
“Me, too.”
The music ended, so they headed off the dance floor, running into Jillian and Jeff along the way.
“Where are you sitting?” Jillian asked.
Josie pointed out their table, so Jillian told her they’d meet them there.
“Would you like a drink?” Zach asked.
She nodded. “A glass of sauvignon blanc would be great, thanks.”
“Okay, I’ll meet you back at the table.”
She went over to the table and sat. She noticed a missed call on her phone, so she took a look, surprised to see it was a call from her mom. It wasn’t too late, so she went out into the hall and hit the CALL button.
Her mother answered right away.
“Jo Jo, my baby girl. You didn’t answer when I called you.”
“Hi, Mom. I was out.”
“Oh. What are you doing? You out with some guy?”
She was not about to give her mother any details. “Just hanging with friends. What’s up?”
“Oh, you know. Everything’s the same down here. But I’ve run into some problems. They’re cutting my hours at the market because Bill is a dick. He never liked me you know, and, honey, it’s really hard to make ends meet as it is with that shitty wage they’re paying me. I shouldn’t even be working there. I can do hair, ya know? But I’ve been to all the salons here in town, and no one’s taking on new stylists. Anyway, I was wondering if you could help me out, you know? I mean, it wouldn’t be for long because I’ve already got a line on another job. It should come through in no time at all, and I’ll be up on my feet again.”
Josie rubbed her stomach where an ache had formed. When her mother talked nonstop like that, she knew without a doubt she was using again. And if she was on drugs, she was missing work and using any money she had on coke or meth or whatever she could get her hands on.
“Mom. Are you high right now?”
“Me? Of course not, honey, I’m doing just fine. I mean, I partied a little with Ronnie and Lil and the crew the other night, but I’m clean. I’m totally clean.”
Josie sank into the nearest chair and rubbed her brow with her finger. “You promised, Mom.”
For a few seconds, there was silence on the other end of the phone. Then, “I know, Jo Jo, but it’s hard, ya know? And I try to be good, but it’s really hard. And I get lonely, and Ronnie and Lil are my buds.”
“Your buds are drug addicts, Mom. You need to stay away from them. Find new friends.”
“Straight people are assholes.”
Josie took in a deep, slow breath, resisting the urge to tell her mother what she really wanted to tell her, what she’d wanted to tell her her entire life. How often she’d let Josie down, how weak she was.
But that would be pointless because the one thing her mother lacked was the ability to take responsibility. Her mother tried and she failed. She tried again and she failed. And it was always someone else’s fault. It was a cycle Josie was used to. She should walk away, but she couldn’t. Because somewhere over the years, she’d become the parent.
“You’re going to have to go get clean again, Mom.”
“Yeah, yeah, I will. But you’ll send me some money, right?”
And this was where it got really hard. “No, Mom. You know I can’t send you any money.”
“But I need it, Jo Jo. I don’t have anyone else. You know that.”
She heard the crack in her mother’s voice, knew she was crying. It wasn’t the first time. It wasn’t even the twentieth time. In fact, her mom would always fall into tears when she didn’t get her way. Over the years, Josie had grown immune to the tears.
Mostly.
“I’m gonna die here without your help, Jo Jo.”
Then the pleas.
And the ache of guilt in Josie’s heart that would never go away.
“I have to go now, Mom. Go to the free clinic down there. They’ll help you get clean.”
“I don’t wanna go there. I just need some money.”
It always hurt her to walk away. But she had to. “I love you, Mom. I have to go.”
But I need—”
She hung up, knowing her mother would continue to beg without stopping. She let her phone fall into her lap and stared down at it.
Things had been going well. When she first moved to Hope, she’d driven down to the southern part of the state where her mother lived. The job in Hope had been a blessing. Her mom had been clean for a while and Josie was hopeful things would work out. Hope was close to her mom but still far enough to give her the space she needed.
Over the years, her mother had been in and out of rehab multiple times. Josie gave her credit for trying, but until she got clean and stayed clean, Josie intended to keep her distance. She’d been hurt too many times to bear witness to her mother destroying herself over and over again. Still, she wanted to be close—just in case.
In case of what, she didn’t know. She’d learned
over many years that she couldn’t help her mother. Only her mom could help herself. The only thing Josie could do was offer her love and emotional support.
And even that wasn’t enough to keep her mother away from the lure of drugs.
Tears pricked her eyes and she shook her head, refusing to shed another tear because of her mother. She was stronger than that. She’d vowed long ago that no one would ever hurt her again.
She needed to remember that vow.
Zach had been deep in conversation with Jeff and Jillian, and he realized it had been a while since he’d seen Josie.
“Do you have any idea where she went?” Jillian asked.
He stared over at her untouched wineglass, then shrugged. “I thought she said she was going to meet us here at the table, but when I got back here with her drink, she wasn’t here. I figured she was in the ladies’ room, but she never showed up.”
“Hmm,” Jillian said. “I’ll go check.”
Zach nodded and watched Jillian disappear to the far corner of the room. When she returned a minute later—without Josie—he started to worry.
“She’s not in there.”
He stood. “I’m going to go look for her.”
“She probably just ran into someone she knew,” Jeff said.
“Yeah, probably,” Zach said. “I’ll be right back.”
“Bring Josie back with you, okay?” Jillian asked.
He offered her an encouraging smile. “You bet.”
He wandered the room. Since it was fairly dark in there, it was possible he could have missed her. But once he did a walk around twice, it was obvious she wasn’t in there. He stepped out through the doors and into the hall and spotted her sitting in one of the oversized wingback chairs.
She was staring down at her phone in her lap, but she wasn’t talking to anyone. And he could tell from the look on her face that something was wrong. She looked … upset. Devastated. Downright sad. Whatever had happened, it was bad. Seeing her like this was like a punch to his stomach. He walked over and squatted down in front of her.