by Paula Mabbel
It was all that she could think to do to calm down. If she was going to get through this, she needed to calm her thoughts and figure something out. It was a cruel world that she lived in, and there wasn’t anyone out there that would help her.
If she was going to get through this, she was going to need to do it herself.
Josephine walked down the boardwalk. It was safer to stay off the streets with all of the horses and wagons. It seemed as though someone got run over at least once a week, and with how busy the doctor was, it was lucky for that person if they weren’t killed there in the streets.
Josephine ignored the stares of the men in the wagons and on the streets. She would love to meet the right man and raise a family, but the prying eyes of these men told her that she needed to be looking elsewhere.
Suddenly, an article printed on a paper in the general store window caught her eye. It read:
Welcome, Mail Order Brides:
Are you looking to find a husband? Why not skip the long hours of hunting and have him come to you? Run an ad in the paper today, and see what happens!
Inquire inside.
Josephine shook her head and started walking, but she only made it a couple of steps before she stopped. She didn’t know what it was, but something was telling her that she should give it a shot.
You have to figure out something, and it is the best shot that you have.
She hesitated on the boardwalk for a few seconds longer, then she shrugged.
“Oh, what the heck.”
She pulled her shoulders back and strode into the store.
*****
Josephine didn’t know what to put down in her letter, and the man in the general store wasn’t too helpful, either. He had told her that she should say something about herself, what she likes, and a brief summary of what she wanted in life.
Josephine did the best that she could, but she didn’t really know what to put, so she kept it short and to the point. She wanted to emphasize that she was a good worker, that she liked animals, and that she wanted to marry a man that was nice.
It sounded lacking to her, but she ran it anyway. It was only a penny to post it to the paper, and while she couldn’t justify spending any money right now, especially on something that wasn’t going to give her anything in return, she told herself that it couldn’t hurt.
Josephine didn’t mention to Mrs. Baker what she had done. She knew that Mrs. Baker would be concerned for her, but she also knew that Mrs. Baker wasn’t going to do anything that was going to help her.
The days passed, and nothing happened. Josephine didn’t waste any time in looking for a new job, but nothing was turning up for her. As hard as she tried, she kept running into the same answers.
Either they had no open positions, they weren’t looking to hire a woman, or they wanted to hire someone who had an education. Josephine tried to convince, tried to sway, and tried everything that she could think of to get hired, but they were firm in their answers, and that left Josephine in trouble.
She watched the mail every day. It wasn’t that she was expecting anyone to actually answer her letter, but she still hoped.
Josephine’s last day came at her job, as she knew that it would. She hoped that Mrs. Baker was going to change her mind, but she had no such luck. She started the day as she did any other day, and neither one of them had said anything about her leaving, until the end of the day.
“I suppose that is it then,” Mrs. Baker said as Josephine was headed for the door. “You have been a good worker… one of the best I’ve seen. I wish you well, Dearie.”
“I can still stay on here…” Josephine said, but when she turned, the door was already closed.
“Josephine sighed. The world felt so big and empty, cruel and cold. She didn’t know if she should go home, or if she should spend her afternoon wandering the streets looking for more work once again. She started walking in the direction of the hotel.
At first, Josephine was going to walk right past the post office. She felt that she had spent this amount of time with no answer, so what made this day any different? But, with that same nagging feeling in her heart, she turned and walked in.
“Ah, Miss Josephine, I have something for you.” Mr. Franklin the clerk said as she walked in. He reached behind his counter and pulled out a small, brown letter.
Josephine’s heart pounded in her chest, but she remained calm on the outside.
“Who is it from?” She asked calmly.
“A gentleman in Texas. A Mr… Stein… yes, Mr. Stein.” He reached across the counter and handed her the letter.
Josephine thanked him and took the letter. She tucked it into the bosom of her dress and headed back outside. She didn’t know anyone in Texas, especially a Mr. Stein… this had to be a reply to her ad.
She tried to keep her expectations low. There was no way to tell what this man wanted, and desperate as she was, she didn’t want to end up in a worse situation than she already found herself in.
When Josephine reached the hotel, Thomas was outside waiting for her.
“I need your fee for the month, Miss Cantwell.” He said with a sly smile. Josephine hated hearing her last name, so many people in town called her by her first name, she felt that using her last was a distant formality.
She didn’t like Thomas anyway, and even less as the days passed. She had told him her situation, and he had made it clear that he didn’t care.
“I’ll have it for you in the morning, Mr. Black.” She pushed past him as she spoke, and didn’t stop to hear what he said in return. He was her landlord, not her boss, and she wasn’t going to explain to him that she had no idea what she was going to do any sooner than she had to. Tomorrow was when her rent was due, and that was when she was going to face the music.
Josephine locked herself in her room, and laid on her stomach on her bed. She used her letter opener to carefully slit the top of the letter, and pulled out the piece of paper that was inside.
My Dear Miss Cantwell,
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ruben, and I am very interested in the ad that you ran about yourself. I am the owner of a very successful mining business, and I have made more money than any person could ever need.
I have a huge cattle ranch, with hundreds of long horn steers, and I hold a lot of respect in this town. It seems that I have acquired all the fine things there is to acquire in life, save for a wife.
I like the way you sound, I can hear you through your words, and I would be thrilled if you were to come down here to Texas to be my bride. You will find enclosed in the envelope a ticket to take the nearest coach down here, and I greatly encourage you to do so.
Winter is coming, and the trek from California down here can be a dangerous one. Please say yes, and I hope to see you soon.
Kindest regards,
Ruben L. Stein
*****
Josephine wasted no time in her reply. She fell in love with the letter, and knew that this was her ticket out of here. She found the ticket that was in her envelope, and laughed as she lay on the bed looking at it.
What a stroke of luck! Just an hour ago you were walking out of your only source of livelihood, with nowhere to go. Now, you are on your way to marrying a rich man with a ranch! Who could have thought of that?
Josephine was blown away by the thought of it all. It didn’t seem possible that she would be the wife of a rich man. Rich! She had been poor her entire life, and it only seemed to go from bad to worse. Now, in a matter of days, she was going to be better off than she ever had been before!
I have to pack…
She jumped up, then sat down again quickly. A dizzy spell had come upon her, and made her feel faint. She didn’t know what it was, but her sick feeling was just getting worse. She hadn’t mentioned anything about it in her letter, it seemed like it would drive away any potential suitor.
Josephine still didn’t know for sure that she was ill. She knew that she felt strange but she knew that something wa
s wrong. If it was stress like Mrs. Baker told her it was, it was going to go away when she got out of that situation anyway, so why bring it up?
One thing that Josephine had learned early on in her life was that unimportant information was often best left unsaid when it came to meeting new people. She didn’t want anyone to form an opinion about her that wasn’t true, especially someone that she hoped to marry.
The next few days were a blur for Josephine. She wanted to leave on the earliest possible coach down to Texas, but she found that the next one left on the 8th of the month. It was getting on into fall, and travel was slowing down for people who were heading back East.
There were still people pouring into town by the day for the gold. California was the Promised Land for many people, but the truth of the matter was that the gold was running out. These people didn’t know that, and they weren’t about to listen to her if she told them, so Josephine just kept to herself.
When she did find a coach that was heading back to Texas, she reserved a place as quickly as she could. There were quite a few people that didn’t find their fortune in California, and who were now heading back, so getting transportation was difficult. Josephine felt lucky that she had found something so soon.
The trip to Texas was one that was uneventful. Josephine hadn’t traveled much in her life, and she didn’t know what to expect, but she was glad that nothing happened. She was eager to get out of that town, and away from the life that she had known.
The struggle was hard, and she was tired. For a girl that was in her twenties, she felt more like she was in her fifties. She was tired from working so hard, and from worry, and she was sore from all the work that she had to do just to get by. If she just had someone to share in the struggle with her perhaps then it would be better.
Josephine had never had money, so she didn’t know what to expect when it came to marrying a rich man, but she did know that she wanted to fall in love, and be married. She had always assumed that she would fall in love first, then marry, but she was ok with how it was working out now.
She had butterflies in her stomach as she boarded the coach. In only a few days, she was going to be in Texas.
She would no longer be Miss Josephine Cantwell; she was going to be Mrs. Josephine Stein.
The thought of it sent shivers of excitement down her spine.
Mr. Stein was everything Josephine hoped he would be and more. He was tall, had a firm handshake, and refined. From the moment that they met face to face, Josephine could see that he had a reserve about him, and an attitude that exuded class.
She felt like he was a king, and she was a peasant. When she got off of the coach, he was the only one on the platform to meet her. He looked her over from head to toe, and smiled. It was a charming smile, one that made her feel on top of the world.
He smiled at her like she was the only girl he had ever smiled at before, and it made her feel special. Like she had actual worth. Like someone cared.
Josephine liked him right away, but she felt exposed when he looked at her that way. It made her feel as though she weren’t good enough, or that she was too poor for someone like him to pay attention to. It was such an odd mix of emotions, and the feeling of it all made her feel weak once again.
You are going to have to figure out what is going on with you…
Her thoughts were racing, and she hoped that she could keep her expression steady.
Later… not now.
She smiled a weak smile back at him, and he walked over to her.
“Miss Cantwell. I presume?” He had a charming smile, and he kissed her hand when she offered it to him. Everything about him made her heart pound and flutter, and she felt like she wanted to know everything about him, yet hide from him at the same time.
“You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.” Mr. Stein whispered to her.
*****
From the moment that they met, Josephine was swept away with the life that Mr. Stein gave her. Although their wedding was short and small by Ruben’s standards, it was far beyond Josephine’s wildest dreams.
The church was bright and covered in flowers, and she had never seen anyone so well dressed as the preacher and her soon to be husband. He had even purchased a dress for her to put on specifically for the ceremony, which was something she had only heard of women doing.
The horses that pulled the buggy to take them home were stunning. One was black as night, and the other was white as snow. They were the most beautiful creatures that Josephine had ever seen. It all felt like a dream that she was being swept away in.
They pulled up in front of a huge house, and Josephine looked at her new husband in surprise.
“This is home, my Love.” He said, with a kiss to her forehead.
A man in a red jacket came out from the barn, and took the reins of the horses. Ruben got out of the front of the buggy and walked around the side to offer Josephine his hand. She put her small hand in his, and lifted her skirt to step over the edge of the buggy.
They walked up a long flight of stairs to the doorway, where two more men opened the doors for them.
“Servants? I never…” Josephine didn’t know what to say. She had always been the one in the position of serving the rich. Now, here she was, finely dressed with servants everywhere, all addressing her as ‘my lady’ and ‘ma’am’.
Her initial instinct was to refuse their service, and to tell them that she could handle it all herself, but they were all so insistent, and her husband laughed at her hesitation.
“Don’t you worry, Love, I pay them all very well for their work. They have nothing to worry about in their own lives, and it is their job to make your life the best that it can possibly be. I want you to feel like a queen, all the time, every day.” Ruben looked down into her eyes, lifting her chin so she would hold his gaze.
There was something about him that intimidated her. She found it hard to hold his gaze no matter what he was saying. She knew that he loved her, and she loved him, but she felt awkward in front of him. No matter what she was dressed in, how her hair was done, or where she lived, she was always going to feel like she was still that poor girl that was begging for a bite to eat, or working long hours for pennies.
She smiled at him, but was relieved when he let go of her. “I need to go out, my Love. There is business in town that I need to tend to, and I feel that it is no place for a lady to be. You are free to do whatever you like in all of this house, and if you would like, the gardens out in the back are just lovely for a walk or a sit.”
With that, he was gone. She watched him go, but felt a measure of relief when he was gone. That is, until the servants started asking her what they could do for her.
“Can I take your bags, Ma’am?”
“Would you like some lemonade?”
“I have set out a change of clothes for you in your room, shall I show you to your room?
The questions were all coming so fast, Josephine didn’t know where to start. It seemed like the best option was going to be to head to her room. If nothing else, there was going to be solitude there.
She found yet another beautiful dress lying out on the bed. It was a lot more casual than the one that she was wearing, but it was far fancier than anything that she had ever owned before.
A pair of female servants came into the room, and one started to undo the ties that were on the back of her wedding dress.
“Oh, that is quite all right,” Josephine said, putting her hands over the hands of the girl. “I can manage.”
They looked at each other, then they looked at her. One of them shrugged, and they both left.
Josephine figured that they thought she was strange, not letting them care for her, but she didn’t care. She liked to dress and undress herself, and she liked to take care of other things herself.
She walked over to the window and looked over the garden. It was the biggest and most beautiful garden that she had ever seen, and it took her breathe away. Part of her want
ed to go out there and explore, but another part of her wanted to stay in this room for a while.
She sat down on the bed, and looked out beyond the garden. There were mountains rising up in the distance, and it looked gorgeous. Josephine had seen mountains when she was California, but they seemed bigger here. In fact, everything did.
She felt overwhelmed, but excited. It felt good to know that all of her troubles were now over. Anything that she wanted, she could have, and there was nothing she could imagine wanting that she couldn’t now have. From now on, anything and everything was going to be hers, and she didn’t have to give it another thought.
It was a strange feeling, but also peaceful.
Suddenly, there was a ring at the door.
She jumped up and walked over to the door, then opened it a crack.
“Dinner is served, Ma’am, and Mr. Stein is waiting for you to join him.”
She smiled and thanked the servant, then hurried to the mirror. She dabbed on her makeup and pulled back her hair, then hurried down to meet her husband.
*****
Life on their ranch in Texas was absolute bliss. Things couldn’t be better for Josephine or Ruben. Anything and everything they wanted, they got. If they could dream it, they literally had it at their fingertips.
In spite of having the world handed to her, Josephine was still as nice and sweet as ever. They went out to dinners, and to fancy parties. They traveled, and they rode horses across their vast ranch. All of Ruben’s friends fell in love with Josephine, and she became a fast favorite at all occasions.
As time passed, Josephine felt worse. She debated going to a doctor, but she didn’t know if she should tell Ruben about it before she went. If it was nothing, it would be senseless to spend money on the visit and to worry him, but if it was something, he would wonder why she didn’t say anything to him.
A large part of her remained in denial about feeling poorly. She couldn’t excuse it as stress anymore, she was living a life of luxury and ease. By all accounts she should have felt better than ever, but as the time went by, she only felt worse.