My Secret Alpha Step SEAL

by Paula Mabbel

  I don’t care what Elizabeth says. She doesn’t know anything more about the West than I do. Sure, there are going to be bugs and dirt, but a city girl can handle those things just as well as a cowgirl can anyway.

  Missy pulled back most of her hair and looked at herself in the mirror. She thought that she looked like the heroine from her favorite story book as a child, and she smiled.

  “Those cows better hold on to their horns,” she said out loud to herself while she looked in the mirror, “there’s a new princess in town.”

  *****

  Missy told Caleb that she would be in Wyoming the following month, but she would have been better to tell him it would take her two months. He had given her the money for a train ticket, but she felt that she had so much to do, at the end of the month she was left scrambling.

  “Are you going to be taking all of your dresses?” Amy Lee asked her as they were packing up her room. She didn’t want to leave any of them behind, but she didn’t have that much money for luggage. She had complained about this to Caleb, who had sent her more money, but seeing all of her dresses on the bed made her cringe.

  “I don’t know… I don’t want him to think that I am some sort of spoiled rich girl.” Missy said, trying to stuff some of her dresses in her smaller trunk.

  “I don’t think he will think you are spoiled, and you clearly aren’t rich… otherwise you would be able to buy your own ticket out there.” Amy Lee was clearly just saying what she was thinking, but Missy took offense to what she had said.

  She was going to argue with her friend that she could afford a ticket, she just didn’t need to pay it, but she knew her argument would be lost on Amy Lee. Amy Lee was a sweet girl, but she was a little slow sometimes.

  “I would like to take my nice dresses at least,” Missy said, changing the subject. She could see that Amy Lee still didn’t know where to start, although it was clear to her which of her dresses were nice and which ones were just the everyday wear.

  “That pile there, Amy!” She snapped, pointing at a pile that was on the far side of the bed.

  “Temper, temper… you know I think all of your dresses are nice, and I wasn’t going to forget these here.” Amy picked up the blue dress that she always liked, and stuffed that into the trunk first.

  “I’m sorry, I’m just worried, you know? I mean, I hardly know this person, and while I think he is the most charming man in the world, I hope he likes me. What if I get there and I’m not what he was expecting… or what he was wanting?” As calm as she tried to keep her voice, it cracked a little towards the end, and Missy’s eyes filled with tears.

  “Oh come now, he knows the girl that he wants to marry, and you are her. You have been talking for quite a while now, I am sure he has an idea of what you are like, and he is going to think you are the prettiest thing that he has ever seen!” Amy Lee did a small curtsy when she spoke, and Missy smiled.

  She couldn’t say that she felt better, but Amy did have a point. She had ben herself when they had corresponded, so he knew what she was like at least.

  And you are very pretty… he will probably think he has met an angel.

  She smiled to herself at the thought, and pushed down on the trunk until she heard it click.

  *****

  Missy spent most of the next day telling everyone goodbye. She wasn’t leaving until Sunday, but she figured the goodbyes would be easier if they had a few days to settle in before she left.

  It was hard to say goodbye to her sister, but she didn’t know why. She loved her sister, but they were far from close, and she always felt like her sister was annoyed with her for one reason or another.

  Even as they said goodbye to each other, it was strained. Elizabeth made it clear that she didn’t approve of Missy leaving, or of her running off to some far away land to marry a man that she had never met. Missy refused to discuss it any further, and she said goodbye to Eric and her little nephews quickly before she left.

  “It’s not too late to change your mind!” Elizabeth called after her as she left, but Missy just waved her hand behind her. She didn’t turn to see her sister grow smaller, she didn’t want to.

  I will be back to visit, and when I do, I will have Caleb with me. Then Elizabeth will see what a wonderful man he is, and I will be hearing her apology on how she thought this was all a bad idea.

  Missy couldn’t wait until she made it back for a visit, and she really wanted to see the look on her sister’s face when she saw who Missy was marrying.

  It was by far the hardest thing for Missy to say goodbye to Amy Lee.

  They waited until she was getting on the train, and Amy Lee gave her friend a hug.

  “You will remember to write, and tell me everything?” Amy Lee said, giving her friend a tight squeeze.

  “Yes, yes of course. And you have to write to me and let me know how everyone is doing. I need to know what my sister is up to and how the nephews grow. I want to hear how you are doing and what suitors you go out with.

  And-“ Missy tried to continue, but she choked up. It was harder than she thought it was going to be, and the more she tried to talk, the worst it got.

  “All aboard!” The conductor called out, and Amy Lee leaned in for another quick hug.

  “Don’t worry, I will tell you everything. I will be like you never even left.”

  Missy pulled away quickly, and sat down near a window so she could see her friend as they pulled away.

  Amy Lee stood on the platform, and held up her hand as the train pulled out.

  Once she was out of sight, Missy turned from the window and looked forward.

  She dried her eyes, and sighed. It was time to make the leap, and she was jumping in with both feet.

  *****

  The countryside raced by through the window, and Missy was filled with an excited anticipation. She knew that she was going to love Wyoming, and it didn’t seem like it could get here soon enough.

  It was remarkable how much faster she was able to travel to Wyoming than by wagon. Before this train she would have spent months on the trail. Now, the journey was just a matter of days. She looked out the window as much as she could, but there was little to see.

  The flat land and rolling hills turned into trees and forest, so thick that she couldn’t see through them. Missy wondered if she would be able to see a wild animal or possibly an Indian, but she saw nothing but forest for hour after hour.

  There were small towns that they passed through, but the nights Missy spent in a hotel and didn’t leave her room, and she was only about the town to head back to the train station and continue her journey.

  Finally after what felt like an eternity, they were drawing near to their destination. Missy couldn’t hide the feeling of excitement any longer, and she would happily chat with anyone who sat near her. She told person after person her story, and they all seemed happy for her.

  See? Who is the crazy one now, Elizabeth? She thought. Everyone says life out here is great, and I am going to fit right in.

  She knew that her sister couldn’t hear her, but she still felt better thinking about it that way. She knew that is what she would tell her sister if she was there, anyway. The day was coming when her sister was going to be proud of her, she just knew it.

  *****

  “Final stop ahead!” The ticket man called out as he was making his way through the train aisle. Butterflies formed in Missy’s stomach, and she craned to see the platform drawing near.

  She could see that there were tons of people standing there, waiting for the train to arrive. This was one of the furthest reaching railroads in the entire country, the people on this train could be coming from anywhere. There wasn’t anyone else on the train that Missy recognized from back home, but she did see people that had been on for most of the journey.

  She wondered what their stories were. Where they were going, who they were going to see. Missy didn’t think that any of them were on the same kind of adventure that she was on, and she felt
proud.

  When it came her time to get off the train, she stood for a moment at the top of the steps. She scanned the crowd for Caleb. He said that he was going to be there in a red flannel shirt, and with a black bandana about his neck.

  She had told him that she was going to wear her red Sunday dress, but no one stood out to her on the platform.

  It would help if you knew who you were looking for…

  Suddenly, she heard her name called, and a tall man from near the back of the platform was waving to her.

  She waved her hand in return, picked up her bags, and headed down the stairs to meet him.

  Caleb scooped her off her feet, and twirled a circle with her in his arms. She was afraid that it was going to be awkward, but she felt right at home. They started talking, and Caleb told her that they were to be married right away.

  Missy felt mixed about the prospect. She knew that was what she had come out here for, but the fact that it was all happening right away, and none of her friends or family were going to be there made her feel bad.

  She thought of Amy Lee. Ever since they were little girls they had played their wedding days, and they had always been there for each other. Part of Missy felt like she had abandoned her friend, but that was quickly pushed aside when Caleb told her that her new family was going to be there, and that was all that mattered.

  He does have a point, she thought, it is going to be him and me from here on out, so I guess that is all that matters.

  The ceremony was very short and to the point, which was fine with Missy. She just wanted to get out to her new home, and see all of the magical and enchanting things Caleb had told her about in all of the letters.

  She imagined that there was going to be lush green trees all the way around the house, with a little pathway leading right to their door. There would be fawns and baby birds about the place, and it would be so peaceful.

  “Are you ready, Mrs. Ryder?” Caleb’s voice broke into her thoughts, and she smiled. She loved her new name, Missy Ryder. It had such a sound of adventure to it, and she felt that it suited her.

  “Yes, Mr. Ryder, I do believe I am,” she said with a laugh. She hoped that her southern accent wouldn’t come through too strongly, but it was hard not to let it take over when she was laughing.

  That was one of the first things that she noticed when she had heard Caleb speak. It was so very obvious that he was from the other side of the country, and she felt out of place. The more people she talked to up here, the more she felt like she was the only one.

  “I think it’s cute, and it suits you.” Caleb told her as she talked about it on the way home.

  He always had such a way of putting things, it made all of her problems go away. Missy sighed a contented sigh and wrapped her arms around Caleb’s. From here on out, she knew that all of her problems were gone. It was going to be the best life she could imagine, and she was happy.

  *****

  “There she is! Our castle awaits.” Caleb said, gesturing with the reins. Missy didn’t see the house at first, it was so different than what she had been expecting. There were no trees, at least not right around the house, and there were no birds, either.

  There was a hawk that was giving its piercing cry overhead, but that was the only animal that Missy could see, and there was no garden, either. There was green grass along the road that led to the house, but by the house it was all trodden down to the dirt.

  Missy felt a twinge in her stomach, but it faded.

  That’s just the outside, the inside is going to be better.

  “Where are all of those paths you talked about? I want to see the forest.” Missy said, sitting up in the wagon seat.

  “Those are all around the back of the house, and over the back hill. You are going to have plenty of time to go exploring, but first I want you to see the inside of the house.” Caleb pulled the reins, and the horses stopped.

  He got out of the wagon and walked over to the other side, and offered to help Missy down. She was touched by his gentlemanly act, and she kissed him lightly on the cheek on her way into the house.

  Missy had always wanted her own house. She wanted to have her own kitchen, her own rugs, and her own bed. She wanted to have her own dishes, her own parlor, and the nice plates to bring out when guests arrived, and now she had it.

  It was all going to be hers.

  “Hold on there! What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t carry my bride across the threshold?” Caleb asked, once again scooping her up. She laughed, and threw her arms around his neck, and kicked her feet as he carried her in.

  “Close your eyes! I want this to be a surprise!” He said, kicking open the door. Missy closed her eyes, and bit her lip in anticipation.

  “Ok, now open them!”

  Missy obeyed, and looked around. Her heart sank. This wasn’t the house that she always dreamed of, and this wasn’t the house she had pictured from his description.

  There were dishes in the sink that needed doing, and the rug was dirty. The nice dishes that were supposed to be for guests were non-existent, as was a parlor. It was a nice little house, but it wasn’t anything like she had imagined it would be… or hoped it would be.

  “What do you think?” Caleb prodded, much to her dismay.

  “I think it is perfect!” She lied. She was good at covering the disappointment in her voice, but she was definitely disappointed.

  “Good! Now, I am going to get to the outside work… if you want to get the kitchen cleaned up and the dinner started, I think we can have a nice evening together.” Caleb turned and walked out the door.

  She watched him walk down the path to the barn, he had a skip in his step and was whistling the whole way, but she didn’t know what to feel. Of course she knew that she was going to have to help with the work, but she had no idea that there was going to be work to do tonight.

  She had thought that he might have gotten all of the word done so they could do nothing but spend time together and learn more about each other for a couple of days, but there he was, out in the barn tossing hay to the horses, and expecting her to wash up the dishes.

  Missy washed them. She washed them quickly and angrily. She told herself that it was all new to her, and it was just a glitch. She was going to get used to the dishes and it would all be better. Of course this was something that every married couple had to do, even her sister and Eric.

  She told herself that just because she was in the kitchen doing the dishes on her wedding night it was still way better than she would be if she were still home.

  This is my house, after all, and my husband is out there in the barn tending to our animals. Of course I need to be in here doing the dishes and getting the house work done.

  The more she told herself this was the way it was supposed to be, the more she felt better about it. She ignored that little feeling of doubt that was pressing against her heart and she started to hum.

  After the dishes were done, she started dinner. She wanted to make something that was fancy and delicious, but all she could find in the cupboard were the things to make pancakes.

  Missy sighed, then shrugged it off. Of course she was going to make pancakes. That was what every couple had the day they got married. She bet that was the same thing that her sister had, too.

  Missy was determined to like it here, and she was certain that with time it was going to grow on her. She started to mix up the batter, and as she did, she told herself that tomorrow would be different. Tomorrow, she would make breakfast and get it cleaned up, and she would be able to get out and see the paths that Caleb had told her about.

  Then she would see how magical this place really was, and she wouldn’t mind all of this work that managed to sneak up on her.

  Just hang on until tomorrow, and it is all going to be ok.

  *****

  But is wasn’t, and neither was the next day. Or the day after that. Missy was slowly coming to realize that life in the West was a lot of work, and there was little fre
e time to even sit down, let alone go out and adventure.

  When she did have the chance to go out, Missy was so tired, she just wanted to sit for a few minutes, and she often found that she sat until she had to start doing something else.

  As for Caleb, she rarely saw him. She really loved him, and they got along very well, but it seemed to her that she only saw him as he was climbing into bed next to her. Even dinners were hit and miss between the two of them. Caleb was often out with the cattle, moving them here, or sending them there.

  She thought about how he had told her he was going to take her to a magical place, out towards the back of their land. He was going to show her something that he had never mentioned in his letters, and it was a surprise just for her, his love.

  Her eyes filled with tears when she thought about it. He was nice to her, but she didn’t feel like she was his love anymore. She didn’t know if it was because she hated it out here in the West, or if it was because she never saw him, but whatever the reason was, she didn’t like it, and she felt alone.

  Maybe he forgot, or maybe he’s just too busy for that right now. I’m sure he will remember when I need him to, but I hope it isn’t too late when he does.

  There were a couple of times when Missy thought about leaving, and going home. She knew that if she did there would be a lot of humiliation for her. Elizabeth would never let her live it down, and she knew that Amy Lee would have her fair share to say about the matter, too.

  She was almost certain that Frank would have heard what she had done, and she wasn’t about to chance running into him again, home after this fell apart in her face. Missy felt stuck, but she didn’t feel like she had a lot of other options.

  Missy tried to make the best of it. She told herself that it was all just getting used to it, then it would seem like fun, but she was getting tired of lying to herself. She knew that it wasn’t the fact that she wasn’t used to it, it was the fact that she didn’t like it.