by JL Madore
I love that the design of our suite mirrors my home at Northwood. As a man, there are moments I forget I’m trapped at the palace. My wolf never forgets. He’s restless and paces and remains on edge. He doesn’t let me sleep more than the four hours he needs to function.
It’s irrelevant that I might need… or want more sleep. He hates being here. Hates that there’s nowhere wild and green to run. Hates that everything about this place goes against what’s important to us.
There’s nothing to be done about that, so I might as well get up and make myself useful.
Puttering in the kitchen has become a new favorite pastime of mine. Adahy stocks our fridge and cupboards. She makes us fresh pastries and dinners every other day. And leaves me recipe cards of things she knows I loved as a boy that I might like to try making for my mates.
She’s never steered me wrong.
This morning, I’m making a steak and eggs breakfast casserole with mushrooms, sundried tomatoes, and in honor of Calli’s love for Tater Tots, I’m adding those as well. Adahy wasn’t keen on me bastardizing the recipe but honestly, I don’t care if the addition ruins a childhood favorite.
Calli’s face will light up when she realizes what I’ve done and that’s all the incentive I need.
I oil the iron skillet and set it on medium to heat up. Next, I go to the fridge and the pantry, assembling the ingredients I need: onion, sundried tomato, mushrooms, eggs, milk, steak tips…
“You’re up early.” Hawk crosses the living room, dressed to impress in slacks and black button-down dress shirt. He’s looking well-rested considering how late he and Jaxx were up. “Your wolf still upset about being here?”
“How’d you know?”
He lifts a shoulder and strides over to where his French Press and designer blends are set up. “Reading people is my thing. I’m an observer, remember?”
It’s true. He’s been able to read all of us since the beginning. So why is it he’s so blind when it comes to me? I’ve done everything I can think of to catch his attention. I’ve made my feelings clear and still he holds me at arm’s reach.
I grab the cooking spray and catch my wolf’s growl before it lets loose. My animal side is frustrated and edgy.
There’s nothing to be gained by starting a fight.
I spray the casserole dish and set it aside. The oil in the skillet is beading, so I toss in the onions, tomato, and mushrooms. “I take it by the early hour and the attire you’re headed into the office for another day of video conferencing?”
“For the morning at least. My Director of Operations, Hunter Gable, is concerned about an uptick in lesser fae protests. There have been a couple of confrontations over the last month that involved exposure.”
“I thought after the Monster Rights Conference, the tension with the lesser fae was alleviated.”
“Pacified, maybe, but it doesn’t seem to have stuck. So, we’re putting out fires this morning and then, I’m hoping to have some time with my mates this afternoon.”
“All four of us or just your real mates?” The venom lacing my words rings in the air. The moment I hear it, I want to take it back. My throat tightens and I swallow past the lump in my throat.
Hawk winces. “Excuse me? My real mates?”
“Calli and Jaxx. The mates you choose versus the mates you don’t.” My gaze is locked on the vegetables I’m pushing around in the skillet. The scent and sizzle filling my senses.
“What the fuck, Kotah?”
I wave the spoon wishing I could breathe past the growing pressure in my lungs. My wolf is raging and I’m having a hard time tethering my wild side. “Apologies, this is not the conversation you need to have before you put out the fires of the realm. My wolf is cranky and you’re needed elsewhere.”
“Cranky or not, this sounds like something we should be talking about sooner rather than later.”
I push the veggies to the side and add in the steak tips. “Forget I said anything. I’m tired.”
“I don’t doubt you are, but a comment like that doesn’t bubble up out of nowhere. You’ve been stewing.”
I stop stirring and meet his gaze. “And why wouldn’t I? I’ve made it clear how I feel. I told you what I want and you turn me down every time. Why aren’t I enough for you?”
Hawk’s eyes flare wide and he steps in close. He grabs my biceps and I want to back away and drop my gaze—he’s an alpha and it’s my omega nature to submit.
I can’t breathe. I need to get outside and run.
I need air.
“You’ve got that backward, Wolf. You are enough. You’re too much. You’re the fucking Prime Prince. You came to this mating with a clean slate and a pure soul. I’m tainted and cynical. Calli, Jaxx, and Brant… they’re better for you. The best way for me to show you I care is to step back.”
“Bullshit.” I bare my canines and snap. I pull back and break free from his hold, my wolf’s growl rumbling low and threatening. “That’s a cop-out and you know it.”
I need out of here.
I round the island and he’s there blocking my way. My wolf is pushing forward, snarling inside me. “Get away from me, Hawk. I’m losing my wolf.”
I push at him and he grips my wrist.
“If I’m fucking things up this badly, you don’t get to throw it in my face and then run and hide. Let’s hear it—all of it—because sure as shit there’s more.”
“I can’t breathe…” My head is spinning and my wolf is going feral. I pull for freedom but Hawk’s stronger. “I need air… I can’t…”
Hawk
My heart is thundering when Kotah’s eyes roll back in his head and he drops like a rock. It’s only because I have him by the wrists that I save him from crashing completely.
“Kotah? What’s wrong?” I feel for his pulse and maybe I’m freaking out, but I don’t feel anything. “Jaxx! Jaxx, I need you! Now!”
With no idea what else to do, I start CPR. I’m counting time for hand presses and about to lean in for air when Jaxx runs out of the Den and sees me straddling Kotah on the floor.
Without missing a beat, he up-and-overs the railing and launches down to the main level like a jaguar in the jungle. He lands on the kitchen table in a crouch and pounces again to land on the floor next to me. “What happened?”
“The fuck if I know.”
Jaxx’s hands are taking inventory of Kotah as Calli screams from above and Brant tears out of the master bedroom on her heels.
“Hawk, focus. What did he say? Chest pain? Dizzy. Can’t breathe—”
“Can’t breathe… and he was losing control of his wolf.”
Jaxx leans over his mouth. “Stop compressions for a sec.” He blows and frowns. “Brant, the med bag is in the workout room closet. Get it.”
“What’s wrong?” Calli asks
“His pulse is weak and rapid. Labored breathing. I’m guessing anaphylaxis.”
“Guessing?”
“What do you need?” Brant drops the bag and rips it open. The zipper has no chance of survival.
Jaxx grabs the epi-autoinjector and slams it into the kid’s thigh. “Someone get me Doc.”
Brant’s out the door and running across the hall in two racing strides.
“What happened exactly?” Jaxx grabs a stethoscope out of the bag and presses the disc to his chest.
I’m trying to think. Fuck. Crisis is my jam but—
“Hawk! I need you to focus, hotness. What the fuck were the two of you doing?
I run a hand over my hair. “I was on coffee. He was grilling stuff at the stove. He sprayed a dish, oiled a pan, stirred some vegetables…”
“What did he say? Were his words slurred? Was he confused or disoriented?”
“He was snappy, aggressive, picking a fight.”
“That doesn’t sound like Kotah,” Calli says.
“It wasn’t like him at all. He said he was tired. His wolf snapped at me.”
“Kotah!” Keyla rushes in with Doc, both of them
half-dressed. “What happened?”
The moment his sister drops to the floor beside him, Kotah flips from man to wolf and we all edge back. He snaps and growls, his head low.
“Give him space.” Jaxx raises his palms. “His wolf is in full-ascension and is not a happy camper.”
“At least he’s upright.” I drop to my ass on the floor. “Let him be as wild and cranky as he wants. If he’s living and breathing, nothing else matters at the moment.”
Calli
Keyla goes wolf and Kotah accepts her being near him. The rest of us seem to be on the outs for the moment but until we figure out what happened, that’s fine. The two of them curl up on the living room rug and I realize it’s the first time I’ve seen them together like that. They are more than Kotah and Keyla, the Prime heirs and sibling survivors. They are pack.
I catch Brant’s t-shirt as it gets pitched from above and pull it on. Nothing like starting your day off naked in front of your friends. If only this were an isolated incident. “Does anyone have any idea what the hell is going on?”
Lukas is doing something magical over by the stove and chatting with Hawk. Jaxx is talking in whispered tones with Doc. And our wolf has finally stopped growling.
Brant wraps a strong arm around my shoulder and kisses the side of my head. “So I guess we’re the only ones left with nothing to do but watch and worry.”
“I’d like another job, please. I don’t like this one.”
Hawk looks over at us and frowns. “The two of you can pack us up. We leave in ten.”
“Wait? What? Where? What’s going on?”
Brant looks at me and chuckles. “Wow, that was a lot of questions.”
“I have a lot of questions.”
Hawk frowns. “We’ll shower on the plane. Go-bags and laptops only. Whatever we need so we don’t have to come back anytime soon. Brant, get the suspect wall info from the office.”
“On it.”
Brant heads off and I’m at a loss. I’m so confused. “What does Kotah having an allergy attack and not sleeping have to do with an emergency evac?”
“Kotah has slowly been poisoned,” Lukas says. “There are trace elements of shellfish in this cooking spray. There’s also something magical lying underneath to bind and compound it. It’s too early for me to know more than that.”
Hawk is gathering file folders off the kitchen table and shoving them into his computer bag. “Whatever’s been happening, his wolf sensed it. Kotah’s not safe here. That’s why his wolf took over. If we want Kotah back, we need to get him somewhere safe where he can rest and relax.”
“Adahy said this might happen. She’s been so careful.”
Lukas puts the cooking spray into a large ZipLock bag and shrugs. “I doubt we’ll get any answers from this, but we’ll try. At the very least, I’ll focus on the magical signature.”
I nod. “Okay dressed and packed to leave in ten. Where are we going?”
Hawk shakes his head. “I’ll decide and you’ll all find out when we’re on the plane. Jaxx, wake your parents. Lukas can take the helicopter and get them home. We’re pulling out of the palace completely until we know what the hell we’re dealing with.”
Jaxx straightens. “Yeah, good luck with that. When Mama finds out someone took a run at one of her boys she’ll be locked on us tighter than ever. The only thing wilder than a mama bear is Mama jaguar.”
Hawk curses. “Fine. Get them ready for the plane then.”
Jaxx nods and pats Doc on the shoulder. “Done deal. Don’t leave without us.”
Brant
“Some fucking morning, eh?” Doc and I are lounging in two of the four leather captain’s chairs near the front of the plane. Keyla and Kotah are curled up on the floor a little further back and Calli and Hawk are with Jaxx and his parents in the aft stateroom relaxing on the two plush couches. “It looked like it was starting okay for you when I interrupted.”
Doc raises a dark brow and chuckles. “Interrupted? You mean when you wrecking-balled your way into my suite at the crack of dawn?”
“Hey. I was in an adrenaline rush. I didn’t come at it that hard. I blame weak hinges.”
Doc chuckles. “Tell that to the kindling that used to be the door to my suite.”
I shrug. “No apologies. I’d kill more than a door to save one of my mates.”
“I know you would, B.”
We both fall quiet as our gazes catch on the two wolves. Where Kotah is a silver timber wolf with rich dark undertones of chocolate brown in his coat, Keyla is such a light silver, she’s almost white.
“I can’t help thinking they’re a lot like us. Siblings brought closer by the cruelties of the world. Two fighters bonding in a struggle to survive.”
Doc nods. “The same but different.”
“Different how?”
“They didn’t have Margo and Ben to keep them whole.”
“Amen to that, brother.” I hold my fist out and we bump to toast our foster parents.
“Do you honestly think the kid will be okay?”
Doc nods. “Yeah, once his wolf realizes the threat is over, he’ll stand down. I’ve seen this before in wildling war vets. He’s just stuck in survival mode and feels less vulnerable in his base form.”
“Don’t we all.”
Hawk and Calli pass by the wolves and come join us. Calli opts to forego a leather seat of her own to curl up in my lap. I snuggle her in and nuzzle her neck.
She wraps her arm around my shoulder and hangs on like she’s coming unraveled. A golden swath of hair keeps me from seeing how bad she is. I brush it back and expose her emerald green eyes. She looks tired and sad.
“Anything I can do, beautiful?”
“You’re doing it.”
“Then I’m happy to keep doing it.” I’ll hold her for as long as she’ll let me and never complain.
“You can do something for me if you don’t mind.”
I meet Hawk’s gaze. “What do you need?”
“When we land, I want you to invite your friend in the FCO accounting department for dinner tonight. Doc, if you don’t mind picking her up at headquarters when she finishes work, I’d rather not draw attention to her meeting with one of us directly.
Doc nods. “So that’s where we’re headed? Into the belly of the beast?”
“Close to it. I bought a wooded property under one of the shell companies I set up for my mates. I bought it with Kotah in mind and think it’ll allow him to run and breathe while I’m in the city. It backs into a forest reserve and is only a twenty-minute helicopter ride from the FCO corporate head office.”
I nod. “That’s thoughtful. I’m sure it’ll help.”
Doc looks at me and arches a dark brow. “You have a shell company with properties? Are you holding out on me?”
I shrug. “Hawk mentioned it. I didn’t ask.”
“Oh, hell. I would’ve lasted two seconds before curiosity killed me.”
Brant shrugged. “That’s not why I’m here.”
“Sure, buuuut?”
When I say nothing more, Doc frowns at me. “Okay, I’ll ask him. What kind of properties? What does Brant own?”
Hawk seems a little hesitant but when he checks with me I shrug. “I have no secrets. And there’s no shutting him up now. Go ahead.”
Hawk shrugs and sits deeper in the leather seat. “In Brant’s trust, there is a residential property on the western seaboard, a chain of youth hostiles that focus on getting teens and runaways out of bad situations, a restaurant franchise, a few investments in small businesses I thought he’d appreciate supporting, and a certain, family-owned buffalo ranch that was getting encroached upon by developers and politicians.”
I stare at him and blink. “You bought Ben and Margo’s ranch?”
“No. You ensured Ben and Margo’s ranch remains theirs to own and operate for perpetuity. It has nothing to do with me. It’s not my name on the deeds.”
“I don’t know whether to be grateful or pisse
d that you did that behind my back.”
Hawk shrugs. “If I get a say in the choice, pick grateful.”
I chuckle. “You’re an ass.”
“But?” Calli says, expectantly.
“But you’re our ass and yeah, that was thoughtful.”
“Restaurants,” Doc says. “What kinda menu?”
“Country chicken and ribs.”
I nod “Nice. I can get behind that. And I’m looking forward to learning about my youth hostiles, too. I have ideas about programs for fae kids having trouble during puberty.”
Doc nods. “It’s a dangerous time with powers coming into full strength for the first time. How are the kids we rescued doing?”
Hawk sighs. “Of the twelve we rescued, all but three were able to be placed back with their parents. Those are looking good. Two of the three are under supervision to get their powers regulated and one ghosted the moment we got him to the safehouse.”
“We lost one?” My bear growls. “You should’ve told me that, Hawk.”
Hawk leans his head back and closes his eyes. “It’s hard to keep a kid who can alter air and produce boltholes to other locations. He didn’t want to be where we could help him. He knows he’s welcome back. There’s nothing to tell.”
“Was it one of mine? One of the kids I put into the Transitions System?”
“Yes. The male faery who commands energy fields.”
“Then you definitely should’ve told me, Hawk?”
He sits up and glares. “And what good does that do? Can you find him? No. Can you fix a kid who doesn’t want to be fixed? No. The Black Knight bastards had him for months. There’s no telling what kind of mind-altering bullshit they were put through. If there’s any chance to intervene, you’ll be the first to know. Until then, why should we all worry?”
I sit back and cross my arms. “You still should’ve told me. It’s my fault that kid is mixed up in this.”
“No. It’s not. That’s my point.”
“I’d like to be brought up to speed on him.”