by Force, Marie
“I guess,” he says, though he’s clearly crushed. Who could blame him? I felt the same way when Natalie left me, and that was only for a day.
“I’m so sorry about all this, buddy.”
“I know.”
“Hey, Logan,” I say, anxious to end this conversation for Nat’s sake, “do you and Maddie want to go play in the snow?”
His eyes light up as his sister lets out a squeal. “Can we, Mom?”
“You don’t want to do that,” Aileen says.
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked. I’d love to take them to the park, if it’s all right with you.”
“Sure, they’d love that. They’ve been asking to go out all morning, and I just…” Her eyes fill. “I couldn’t.”
“No problem. I’ve gotcha covered. Why don’t you come, too, Nat, and we’ll let Aileen get some sleep?”
“I don’t have boots.”
“What size are you?” Aileen asks.
“Seven.”
“I’m a seven and a half. Use mine.”
“Okay, then, I’m in!”
While I help get the kids bundled up, Natalie walks Aileen to her bedroom and tucks her in for a nap. She comes out of Aileen’s room with tears in her eyes and the boots in hand. “Hard to see her this way,” she whispers.
“I know.” I kiss her forehead and let her pass me in the hallway. The kids’ rooms are cluttered with toys, the beds are unmade, and dirty clothes are on the floor. While the kids pull on their snow pants, I withdraw my phone from my pocket and fire off a text to Addie.
We’re at Aileen’s, and she needs some help. Can you please check into an agency here that does nurses/nannies/housekeepers? Get one of each if you would.
Got it. On it.
You truly are the best.
I know!
I love her cheeky reply, and I love her, too. I’d be lost without her. Nothing I ever ask her to do is too much for her, and she’s endlessly efficient and organized. I make it well worth her time and effort, but the truth is I’d pay her twice as much to keep her.
I stash my phone and go to help Natalie with the kids. On the way out the door, Logan produces a plastic sled from the front closet. We clomp down the stairs in a noisy group, Natalie and I with our ski masks covering our faces. The kids think they’re hilarious, which I suppose is better than scary.
On the sidewalk, I load the kids onto the sled and pull them behind me down the snow-covered sidewalk, extending my free arm to my wife. We’ve left Fluff sleeping in a ball on Aileen’s sofa. At the park, we spend more than an hour making a snowman, having a snowball fight and making snow angels. When the kids begin showing signs of tiring, we load them back up and set out for home, stopping on the way for pizza and hot chocolate.
The startled restaurant staff immediately recognize us, but I ask them not to make a thing of it in front of the kids. Thankfully, they respect my wishes. I’ll ask Addie to send them a signed photo to show my appreciation.
We return to the apartment with two tired, well-fed kids who had a great time.
“Thanks for this,” Natalie says as we follow them up the stairs.
“It was fun.” And it was. Life’s simple pleasures tend to get lost in the sea of celebrity madness that surrounds me. I like that Natalie and her friends have helped to remind me of what’s really important.
“Guys,” I say to the kids, who are preparing to barge into the apartment. “Your mom is probably sleeping, so let’s be really quiet, okay?”
“Okay, Mr. Flynn,” Maddie says solemnly.
We help them out of their snow clothes and boots outside the door. “One other thing I want you to do for me.”
“What?” Logan asks.
“I want you to go in your rooms and pick up all your toys and put them away. Then you need to make your beds and gather up your dirty clothes. Can you do that?”
“If we hafta,” Logan says glumly.
“Let’s see who can get their rooms picked up the fastest.” The contest sparks some interest in them, and they scurry into their rooms.
“You’re going to be an awesome father,” Natalie says.
“Funny, I was thinking the same about you earlier.” I kiss her nose. “An awesome mom.”
“That’s going to be fun,” she says, smiling at me.
“I can’t wait.”
“Really?”
“To see you round with our baby?” The thought of it does weird things to my heart and stomach. “I. Can’t. Wait.”
She wraps her arm around my neck and kisses me. “Love you,” she whispers.
“Love you, too.”
“I’m going to clean up the kitchen.”
“I’ll check on the kids and then take on the living room.”
“This is way, way above and beyond the call of husbandly duty.”
I lean in close so my lips are touching her ear. “You can reward me later.”
I leave her with that thought and go to pick up the toys, pillows, blankets and newspapers that are strewn about Aileen’s living room.
While I tend to the mountain of dirty dishes in Aileen’s sink, I think about how great Flynn was with Logan and Maddie. From pulling them on a sled to supervising the building of a snowman, to engaging in a snowball fight, he was incredible with them, and they loved every minute of the attention he showered them with.
I’m not sure what the deal is with their dad, just that he’s not in the picture.
When I finish in the kitchen, I go to find Flynn, who’s stretched out on the floor of Logan’s room with both kids pinning him down.
“Natalie, help! I’ve been taken hostage!”
The kids giggle madly as he tries to tickle his way out of the bind they have him in.
Aileen joins me at the doorway, smiling at the sound of her children’s laughter. “That’s a very nice thing to hear.”
“We had the best time,” I tell her.
“Apparently, they did, too.” She takes a closer look at Logan’s room. “Did you clean his room?”
“Nope, he did.”
“How did you pull off that particular miracle?”
“Flynn gets all the credit. He made it a brother-sister race to see who could clean their rooms the fastest.”
“Wow. He’s good.”
“I think so, too. Are you feeling better?”
“So much better. I can’t thank you enough for this today.”
“Believe me when I say it was our pleasure. We had a blast playing in the snow with the kids.”
“Logan, go easy,” Aileen says. “God forbid we damage that priceless face.”
“That’s right,” Flynn says. “It’s insured for millions.”
I roll my eyes and share a laugh with Aileen. As we prepare to head out a short time later, Flynn lets her know help is on the way.
“You’ve already done more than enough,” she says in protest, referring to the half-million dollars he donated to the fundraiser for their family at school.
He puts his hands on her shoulders and kisses her forehead. “Let us help. There’s no need for you to try to do this alone. You have friends who care, and if we lived here full time, we could come by every day and check on you guys. But since we don’t, this is the next best thing, okay?”
“Are you ever able to say no to him?” she asks me.
“Rarely,” I reply with a saucy wink that makes them both laugh.
“Thank you,” she says, gesturing to the spotless apartment and the two kids on the sofa, quietly watching a movie. “I’ll never forget this, and neither will they.”
“We had a great time.” I hug her, and the feel of her sharp bones under my hands unsettles me as I lean down to gather up Fluff. “Call you tomorrow, okay?”
“I’ll be here.”
“Bye, guys,” I say to the kids.
“What do you say to Flynn and Natalie?”
“Thank you!”
“You’re welcome. We’ll see you soon.”
F
lynn has summoned an Uber car that is waiting for us outside Aileen’s building. He holds the door for me and follows me inside.
After a long period of silence, I reach for his hand. “I’m worried about her.”
“Me, too.”
“Her bones… She’s…”
“I know, sweetheart. I felt them, too. My dad has a friend who’s a big-time surgeon here. I’m going to ask him to get a name for us. I want the top breast cancer doctor in the city for her.”
I lean my head on his shoulder. “I’m scared for her. For all of them.”
“We’ll do everything we can for them.”
“Thank you for making my friends your friends.”
“Aileen and the kids are easy to like. I’ve enjoyed getting to know them.”
Flynn asks the driver to take us into the garage to avoid the photographers still staked out in front of the building. The driver makes all the usual noise about the Bugatti, but while he’s friendly, Flynn doesn’t offer photos.
In the elevator, he says, “I feel like steak tonight. I need some protein to build up my strength.” He waggles his brows, reminding me of our plans for the evening. As if I could forget. All afternoon with the kids, I’ve been thinking about how this night might unfold.
But after seeing Aileen in such poor condition, I’m not sure if I can get my head straight to concentrate on him.
“Nat?”
“Hmm?”
“You okay?”
“Sure.” I force a smile for his benefit, but he’s not buying it.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
The elevator opens into the foyer, and he takes my coat, hanging it next to his in the closet.
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just worried about Aileen.”
Flynn withdraws his phone from his pocket and places a call. “Hey, Dad, what’s up?” He glances at me. “We’re good. In New York for a couple of days but heading back your way tomorrow. You can tell Mom to go forth with her party planning. We have to go to London for the BAFTAs next weekend, so the weekend after that?” He looks to me for confirmation.
We’re going to London next weekend? I want to squeal with excitement. I’ve always wanted to go there.
“Nat? Is that okay?”
I nod in agreement. Stella is excited to throw a party to celebrate our wedding, and since I already adore my new mother-in-law, whatever she wants is fine with me. This will be their big show, as I don’t have many people to invite.
“So listen, Natalie has a friend here in New York who has breast cancer. She doesn’t seem to be doing so well, and I wondered if you would ask your friend Jared about a recommendation of someone who could see her. I want the top doctor in the city.”
While he talks to his father, I take advantage of the opportunity to text my former roommate, Leah.
So I’ve decided to decline the school’s offer to return. Too much of a circus comes with me now, and it’s not fair to the kids.
I sort of wondered if that would happen. We’ll miss you, but I understand. I’m a short-timer there myself. They asked me to train to be a manager at the bar, and I’ll do that while I figure out what’s next.
Keep me posted.
Will do. How’s married life with the hot movie star?
It’s hot. If only she knew.
I hate you.
No, you don’t.
Yes, I really do! LOL! You can make it all better if you invite me to some fabulous Hollywood party.
I’ll see what I can do.
Squeeeee! How’s Fluff?
She’s good. I think she’s starting to fall in love with her new daddy.
Awww too cute! Miss you guys.
We miss you, too. See you soon I hope!
Tell the hot movie star I said hello.
Will do. xoxo
“My dad is going to call his friend tonight and get back to me tomorrow,” Flynn says when he finds me in the kitchen.
“Thank you for that. Leah says to tell my hot movie star husband she says hello.”
“How is she?”
“Good. I wanted to tell her about not going back to school so she doesn’t hear it through the grapevine.”
“How’d she take it?”
“She totally understands.”
“You could, if you wanted to, that is, send an email to Mr. Poole tonight to officially close that circle.”
“Is that your way of saying you’re glad I’m not going back?”
He props his hands on the counter, on either side of my hips. “I’m glad you made a decision you’re comfortable with, and selfish bastard that I am, I’m thrilled you’ll be coming home to LA with me, moving in permanently and sleeping next to me every night.”
Looping my hands around his neck, I say, “I’m thrilled about those things, too.”
“Yeah?”
I bite my bottom lip and nod, watching his eyes home in on the movement of my mouth.
“Are we really going to London?”
“Uh-huh.”
“So why are we going back to LA tomorrow when London is in the opposite direction?”
“Oscar nominees’ luncheon is Monday, and the nominees’ party is Monday night.” He’s still staring at my mouth. “I was on my best behavior all afternoon with the kids. I think you owe me some thanks for that.”
“I owe you?”
“Uh-huh.” He swoops in and captures my mouth in a kiss full of hours’ worth of pent-up desire. His arms band around me as he explores every corner of my mouth with his tongue. I’m left reeling when he ends the kiss as suddenly as he began it. “Food first. More of that later. Steak? Yes?”
“I’m expected to function after that?”
A satisfied smile stretches across his face. “I’m expecting a lot of functioning tonight.” Another kiss has me clinging to him, but he pulls away before we lose control again. “Food. Now. Steak?”
“Mmm, okay.”
“Stop trying to manipulate our agenda by looking at me that way.”
“What way am I looking at you?”
“You know damned well what you’re doing to me.” He takes my hand and pushes it against the hard column of his erection. “Any questions?”
I squeeze him. “That feels uncomfortable.”
“Tormenting your Dom, sweetheart? Are you trying to top from the bottom? Because that could get you a very sore ass later.”
I’m almost ashamed by how aroused I am at the thought of him spanking me.
“Don’t do that.”
“What did I do?”
“Look away in shame because you like the idea of being spanked. Don’t ever be ashamed of the things you want. And don’t ever hold back from telling me what you want.”
“It might take some time before I feel comfortable asking for those things.”
“We’ll get there, love.” He kisses me. “All in good time.”
“What did you mean when you said ‘top from the bottom’?”
“That’s a Dom/sub thing when the sub tries to take control of the Dom. I don’t recommend it, my sweet.”
He attempts a stern face, but his eyes twinkle with pleasure and delight. He’s happy to be able to speak freely about these things, and that makes me happy, too.
“Tonight, I want to see your eyes, Nat, without the contacts. Will you give me that?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
He kisses me again and then withdraws his phone to place the food order. It arrives a short time later, and we eat in silence, the anticipation building with every minute that goes by. I’m almost too nervous and excited to eat. But knowing I need the fuel, I consume half of my dinner without tasting much of anything before pushing the rest across the table to him.
He eats all of his and half of mine.
Apparently, I’m the only one too nervous to eat much.
After we do the dishes, Flynn says he wants to take a shower. “I’ll be quick so you can use the bathroom.”
I refill my wineglass and take advanta
ge of the alone time to get my head together and calm down. No matter what happens tonight, it’s still Flynn and me and no one else. There’s nothing to worry about. I already know I’ll probably love everything he does to me, even if the context has changed.
He comes out fifteen minutes later, his hair damp, his face freshly shaven, a towel wrapped around his waist. “All yours.”
I swallow the last of my wine and turn to him. “Thanks.” I feel his eyes on me as I walk into the bedroom and then the bathroom, which is lit by candles. He has filled the tub for me, and I’m touched by the thoughtful gesture. He knows how much I love that tub. As I remove my clothes and put up my hair to keep it dry, my hands tremble ever so slightly. I have twenty minutes until our “appointment.” I spend half of those minutes in the tub, soaking in the warm water, trying to relax. I shave my legs and then contemplate the hair between my legs. Part of Flynn’s fantasy was to shave me there. Does he want to do it himself, or would he mind if I do it?
As I sit on the side of the tub and lather the area with soap, I decide I’m willing to risk the potential punishment to make one of his fantasies come true.
I’ve left my phone where I can see the time. At five minutes to eight, I get out of the tub, towel myself dry and wrap the towel around my body. Standing before the mirror, I permanently remove the contact lenses I’ve worn for cosmetic reasons since I changed my name and became Natalie. As always, the rare sight of my green eyes is a reminder of how far I’ve come since I left April behind.
Despite the long road I’ve traveled since then, she’s still part of me. Her heart still beats inside me. Her trauma is with me always but no longer defines me. I’m determined to live my life as I see fit, without giving the man who ruined April’s life any more power than he’s already had.
I brush my teeth and hair, cover my body in scented lotion and take the deep, cleansing breaths Curt taught me to use whenever I feel overwhelmed or anxious. I’m neither of those things now. I’m fearless and determined—and extremely aroused from thinking about this all day. I bring the candles from the bathroom with me and place them on the bedside table, before assuming the position he has requested—on my knees, hands folded and head down.