by Force, Marie
Every nerve ending in my body, especially the ones between my legs, tingle with awareness and anticipation. “Punish me?”
“Uh-huh. We’ve got a lot of options to choose from, but that sweet ass of yours is going to be mine one way or the other.”
What does it say about me that I practically begin to pant with lust at the thought of him “punishing” me? Not to mention what the gruff, confident tone of his voice does to my system, which is already going haywire. My nipples are so tight they ache, and my clit is throbbing. His hand slides over the silk that covers me to cup my ass. He squeezes my cheeks, and lets his middle finger dip into the valley between them, and just that is nearly enough to make me come.
Dear God, what have I agreed to?
We arrive at his stunning home in Malibu, which is one of my favorites of all the incredible homes I’ve gotten to visit during my tenure as Flynn’s assistant and friend. I love the sharp angles, the huge windows, the breathtaking daytime view of the Pacific, and the contemporary design. Though I’ve been here many times, I’ve never been upstairs, which is where he takes me upon entering the house.
Did I mention he insists on carrying me even after I tell him there’s nothing wrong with my legs? Swoon.
I love him like this—dominant and insistent and in charge. He recovered quickly from the breakdown at Black Vice. Gone is the broken man I found in Devon’s office. In his place is a man determined to finally get what he wants—and that’s me. Holy shit is it exciting to experience this side of him.
I got a small taste of his controlling side in our previous encounters, but I already know that’s nothing compared to what’s going to happen now that he’s fully committed to giving me all of him.
He puts me down on the biggest bed I’ve ever seen and sticks out his hand.
“What?”
“Give me those papers.”
I hand over the contract Andre and I had begun to negotiate.
Hayden takes the paperwork and sits at the foot of the bed to review it. His brows knit in concentration and his lips pucker as he reads, occasionally glancing at me as he goes.
It’s all I can do not to squirm under the intense heat of his gaze every time he directs it my way. This is what I wanted—his full and undivided attention. I wanted to know him on the deepest possible level, and now that I’m about to get that, I’m scared.
What if Flynn is right and I can’t hang with dominant Hayden? What if I can’t stand the pain? What if I break and disappoint him? My hands and legs begin to tremble as the possibilities run through my mind.
“You left your list of hard limits blank,” he says, breaking a long silence.
“I know.”
“So that means you don’t have any?”
“I trust you to know what they are.”
He shakes his head. “I have no way to know that, Addie. You have to tell me.”
“I don’t even know the full extent of what’s possible. How do I know what my limits are?”
“So if I wanted to pee on you, you’d be fine with that?”
I can’t help but wrinkle my nose at that.
He laughs. “Thought so.”
My tongue suddenly feels too big for my mouth, and I swallow hard. “Do you like that?”
“Hell no.”
“Oh, thank you, Jesus.”
“This is what I mean when I say everyone has hard limits. What’re yours?”
“It might be easier for you to tell me about yours.”
“All right—I have zero interest in excrement of any kind, blood, animals, breath play, whips, gags, anything to do with rape or rape fantasy or humiliation.”
“That’s a good list.”
“Now let me tell you what I am interested in—Kinbaku, which is a form of bondage and erotic tying that I’ve studied and practiced for years. It’s one of my favorite ways to express myself as a dominant.”
I’m transfixed as I listen to him and accept the beautiful gift he is giving me by sharing these facets of himself with me.
“Nothing turns me on more than having my partner completely at my mercy, submitting to whatever I might dream up for us.” As he speaks, he seems to be somewhere other than here in this room with me. “I love toys of every kind. I love public scenes. I love to be watched, to know that what I’m doing is arousing not only my partner, but anyone who might be watching us. I used to love threesomes, but I won’t share you with anyone.” He turns that potent gaze on me. “You understand?”
I nod in agreement. I don’t want him to share me with anyone.
“Did anything I just said give you pause?”
“I’m not sure how I feel about being watched, especially at a club where the people I work for are members.”
“I understand, and we can work around that.”
“How?”
He gives this some thought. “We could ask your buddy Devon Black if we could do a scene at his club.”
“You would do that in a club you don’t control?”
“I’d disguise my identity and yours, so no one would know who we are.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“If that’s a hard limit for you, all you have to do is say so, and we take it off the table. That’s how this works. We negotiate everything ahead of time so no one gets something they didn’t expect. The idea is a safe, sane, consensual exchange of power.”
“It’s not a hard limit for me, but thank you for offering to make it one.”
“You must have questions.”
I have thousands of them, but when the time comes to ask them, my mind is completely blank except for one pressing thing. “What happens the rest of the time, when we’re not having sex?”
“What do you mean?”
“Will you want to dominate me all the time or only in bed?”
“Our agreement only covers our relationship in the context of sex. It doesn’t cover the rest of our lives.” He finally leaves his post at the foot of the bed and comes to me, running his finger over my cheek. “I have no desire to see you become anyone other than who you are now—except for when we’re naked together. Then you’re all mine. I say what, I say how, I say how often, I say when we’re done, I say when we’re just getting started. So if you’re not in the mood for all that, don’t get naked with me.”
His lips find a sensitive spot behind my ear, and I’m reduced to a quivering blob of need and want.
“Do we understand each other?”
“Yes.”
“Yes who?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Mmmm.” His voice is a low rumble next to my ear. “It makes me so hot to hear that one little word from you.”
“What happens now?”
“Now we need to talk about a safe word—one word that puts a stop to whatever we might be doing. No matter what, if you say that word, it’s done, so you need to be sure before you say it.”
“What if I’m not sure I want it to end completely? What if I need a break or a breather or whatever?”
“That’s what the traffic-light system is about. You say yellow if you want to slow down and red if you want to stop.”
“That would work for me.”
“Would you feel more comfortable if we signed a formal contract outlining what we’ve agreed to?”
“Would you?”
“In every other situation, I’d insist on it, but this is different.”
“How so?” Of course I know, but I want to hear him say it.
“Because this, you and me, is forever. I hope you know you sealed your fate with your little stunt tonight.” He runs his fingertip over my face. “Now that I have you, I’m never letting you go.”
Thrilled to hear him finally say what I’ve always wanted to hear, I lock my gaze with his. “I’m counting on that, and I don’t feel the need to sign anything.”
“Okay.” His fingertip moves from my face to my throat to my chest, sliding between my breasts and coming to a stop at the knot to my robe. “Now abou
t that punishment you owe me.”
“What about it?”
“It’s time, Addison. And because I care so much about you, I’ll let you choose this time.”
I understand that’s as close as he’s able to come to telling me he loves me, and somehow it’s enough. “What’re my choices?”
“I can spank you with my hand, a paddle or a flogger.”
“Which do you prefer?”
“I love them all, so you can decide.”
“Which one hurts the least?”
Laughing, he shakes his head. “I’ll never tell.”
“That’s mean!”
“Are you questioning your Dom, Addison? Because that would only add to your punishment.”
“I would never question you, Sir.” I lower my eyes in supplication and love the gasp my action draws from him.
“Send the text to Flynn.”
I reach for my phone and type out a quick message to Flynn, letting him know I’ll be unavailable tomorrow and possibly the next day.
He responds immediately. Are you okay?
I’m fine.
Things went as planned, I take it?
Better than planned.
Glad to hear it.
“Tell him to leave you alone now—and use those exact words.”
Hayden says you have to leave me alone now. His words, not mine.
Tell Hayden he’d better treat you like a queen.
Hayden reads the text I share with him. “Tell him I said to fuck off.”
“I’m not saying that to him.”
He takes the phone from me. “Then I will.” This is Hayden. Fuck off.
Flynn replies with laughing emojis.
“Now text your dad and tell him you had to go out of town unexpectedly and you’ll be back in a couple of days.”
“Why am I doing that?”
“So I can shut off your phone and not have you worry about anyone important trying to reach you.”
I tell myself this is what I wanted—Hayden’s full attention and his dominance. Now that I have both, I’m more than a little overwhelmed. I send the text to my dad.
Travel safely, sweetheart. Call me when you’re back in town.
Will do. Love you.
Love you, too.
Hayden takes the phone from me, powers it down and places it on the bedside table. “Come with me, my sweet.” He holds out his hand to me, and I’m left to wonder where we’re going. But since I’ve agreed to go anywhere he wishes to take me, I grasp his hand and let him lead me into a large walk-in closet full of gorgeous clothes organized by color. I’m about to ask what goes on in his closet when I notice a door at the far end.
He pushes the door open and turns on the light, revealing a room full of BDSM equipment that I recognize from the hours of online research I’ve done since I first learned of his affection for the lifestyle. I see bondage equipment, a St. Andrew’s cross, a spanking bench and a few other things I’m not familiar with. I have a feeling that’ll be changing before too long.
“What’re you thinking?” he asks after a long silence.
“How many other women have you had here?”
“You’re the first. I built this room a year ago, and I haven’t brought anyone here until now.”
Though I know he’s had many other partners, I’m comforted to know I’m the first he’s brought here.
“There’ve been others in my playroom at my place in town, but it’s been years since I brought anyone there. Okay?”
Nodding, I force myself to meet his intense gaze. He seems to be scrutinizing my every expression and reaction. His fingers tug at the knot on my robe until it falls open, and he pushes it off my shoulders.
I let it drop onto the floor and stand before him nude.
His eyes take a slow perusal from my face to my breasts to my groin and back up again. Every inch of me responds to the heated way in which he looks at me, as if he can’t wait to devour me. I can’t wait for that either.
“Are you scared?”
“Yes.” This is no time to be anything less than totally honest.
“Don’t be. I’ll never truly hurt you, Addie. You have to believe me when I tell you the only thing I want is your ultimate pleasure.”
“And my complete surrender.”
His face lifts into a sexy grin. “That, too.”
“What about your ultimate pleasure?”
He trails his finger around my left nipple, making circles that never seem to touch the part of me that burns for him. “Your ultimate pleasure will lead to mine.” Leaning in, he kisses my neck on his way to my lips. “First things first.” His thumbs caress my nipples, and I gasp from the heat that blasts through me. Then he takes me by the hand and leads me across the room to a set of drawers, opening the top one to reveal metal objects that I recognize as nipple clamps.
Now that the moment of truth is upon me, my legs are trembling so hard I can barely remain standing. I remind myself that this is exactly what I said I wanted.
“What’re you afraid of?” he asks.
“That I went to all this trouble to get here, and I won’t be able to do it.”
“You’ll be fine. Anything you can do will make me happy because it’s you.”
“What if…”
He cradles my face in his hands, making me feel treasured and safe. “What if what?”
“I don’t know if I can handle the pain.”
“I’ll make sure it’s not too bad. I promise.”
He kisses me softly and tenderly, and I cling to him and his assurances. Then he breaks the kiss and takes something from the drawer before bending his head to lave my nipple. When it’s standing up tight and proud, he affixes the clamp.
The pain is immediate and intense, but it quickly subsides into a dull ache that I can easily handle. He moves to the other side, and this time, knowing what’s coming makes me tense up.
“Relax, sweetheart. I’ll make it so good for you.”
“I want it to be good for you, too.”
“Having you here in this room with me is the best thing to ever happen to me as a Dom. I promise it’ll be incredible for me.”
The second clamp hurts as badly as the first—more so, really, because I know what to expect this time. But again the pain fades after a minute or two, leaving a pleasurable ache that has my full attention. He leads me next to a row of implements hanging from hooks on the wall. There are paddles in an array of shapes and sizes.
“See anything that interests you?” he asks.
“Um, if I say no, will that lead to more punishment?”
“You’re a fast learner,” he says with a low chuckle.
Anxious to get this over with, I point to one with the round face. It resembles a ping-pong paddle, like the one I saw used at Black Vice. “That one.”
“Good choice.”
“For who? Me or you?”
“Both of us.”
He steers me toward the spanking bench. “Get comfortable.”
I almost laugh out loud at that. Here I’m about to fold myself over a spanking bench for the first time in my life, and he tells me to get comfortable? Nothing about this is what I’d consider comfortable. I settle my knees on the supports, and Hayden adjusts the higher part of the apparatus so it falls in the center of my abdomen, forcing me to bend over it to settle my elbows on the pads below. My clamped nipples react immediately to the pressure of my breasts hanging low, sending a pleasurable thrum of desire to my clit.
The position leaves my ass completely at his mercy. I’ve never felt more vulnerable or aroused. “Is this good?” I ask, needing his approval.
His hands coast over my ass cheeks, squeezing and shaping them. “This is perfection.” Then I feel his lips on my back, tracing the length of my spine and making me shiver with awareness. While I got settled on the bench, he must’ve shed his clothes, because I feel the heat of his erection against my bottom. My skin feels like it’s been plugged into an electrical socket, wi
th each caress seeming to register with every nerve ending I own.
“Do you feel the difference?” he asks softly.
I immediately understand what he’s asking. We’re still us, the same two people we were outside this room, but everything is more intense, more charged in here. “Yes, I feel it.”
“I don’t know if I can bring myself to punish you, Addison.”
His hesitation is endlessly endearing. “Didn’t I earn it by what I did to you at Black Vice?”
“You sure as hell did.”
“Then you know what you have to do.” I’m not sure where this bravado is coming from. I’ve never been spanked in my life. I have no idea whether I’ll love it or hate it. All I know is that he has to do it, or this’ll be just another exercise in frustration and futility. “Hayden?”
Chapter 17
Now that I have her exactly where I’ve always wanted her, I’m paralyzed with unfamiliar indecision. I’ve never once wimped out of a scene as a Dom, and I’m painfully aware that I can’t do that now. This is no time to be a pussy who lets his heart rule his cock—or so I tell myself.
In truth, it’s impossible to separate what I feel for this woman from what I want to do to her sexually. If there’s any hope of a future for us, I have to do this. The sight of her perfect ass, waiting to be reddened by my paddle, sets me on fire with the kind of desire I’ve only ever experienced with her.
I need to hear her say she feels the same way. “Tell me you want this.”
“I want it, Hayden. I want you. I want all of you.”
Though her voice is strong and confident, I can see her legs are trembling violently. Despite her words of assurance, she’s scared senseless. I want to make this amazing for her, and that determination fuels me. I take the paddle in hand and give her right cheek a short, swift spank, the kind that sends a message without causing great pain.
She gasps but otherwise remains silent.
I do the same thing on the other side, slipping into my zone after that second one. I let go of all the worries I had coming in here and do what I do best—bring pleasure to my sub with every tool in my arsenal. I keep up the paddling until her ass is a ripe rosy red and her pussy is so wet that I can see and smell her arousal.
Fucking hell, she’s amazing, and she’s all mine.