by Force, Marie
“God, I’m so tempted, but the thought of those photos going public makes me sick. I couldn’t give a shit less about myself, but Flynn and Natalie and Hayden, Addie, Marlowe, everyone else… They’d be collateral damage in my war with my father.”
“What would you say if one of them was being blackmailed? Would you want them to roll over and take it, or would you want to fight with everything we’ve got to protect one of our own?”
“I’d want to fight, but—”
“No buts. Let us do for you what you’d do for any of us.”
I realize defeat when I’m staring it in the face—or hearing it in my attorney’s voice. “Give me a couple of hours to talk to Flynn, and do me a favor. Draw up the partnership dissolution paperwork and have it ready for me when I get back in case we decide that’s the best course of action. I’ll come straight to the office from the airport.”
“I’ll draw up the papers if you insist, but—”
“I do insist. My partners need to know all their options, up to and including severing ties with me.”
“What good will that do if your father releases the photos anyway?”
“I could tell him that I’m no longer associated with them, so he can keep his vitriol focused on me rather than on them.”
“And how does Ellie figure into that, Jasper? If she gets hurt, Flynn gets hurt. You know how they are.”
I do know, and the thought of either of them hurt because of me is excruciating. “Let me talk to her.” I dread having to tell her that there’s photographic proof of her visit to Black Vice, and I have no idea how I’ll handle the threat to the other Quantum partners. One step at a time, I suppose.
“Keep me posted, and I’ll do the same for you.”
“Thank you, Emmett. I’m sorry to wake you up, but I didn’t know who else to call.”
“You made the most important call first. I’ll do everything I can to get you free of this situation. You can count on that.”
“Thanks again.”
“You got it. Safe travels.”
The line goes dead, and I picture him bounding out of bed to hit the shower before he goes to the office to wage war. Knowing he’s on my side is huge, but he faces a formidable foe in my father.
I make my way back to Claridge’s, and I’m almost to the main doors when a photographer waylays me, the flash from his camera temporarily blinding me.
“Jasper, what’re you doing in London? Are you shooting a new film? Is Flynn with you?”
I scowl at him and go into the hotel where the security working the door will keep him from following me. Fantastic, now my sisters and mother will know I was in England but didn’t call them. This day keeps getting better.
In the lift, I try to think about what I’ll say to Ellie. In the short time we’ve been together, she’s become as essential to me as oxygen, and there’s a very good chance she’s already pregnant with my child. I’ll take care of her and the baby. Of course I will. But there’s every possibility now that we won’t get to have the life we’d hoped for if she’s in LA and I’m in London. She’s far too close to her family to follow me into an uncertain future half a world away from everyone else she loves.
This must be what it’s like to stare down an executioner, knowing life as you know it is over. I am dead inside at the thought of disappointing the woman I love.
She thought I was courageous for coming here to face off with my father, but now I have to tell her I was outplayed by a master. I’m ashamed to have to face her, to have to tell her nothing is going to be like we planned. For the first time ever, I’m also ashamed of the lifestyle that has always brought me such pleasure. I’m furious with myself for naively thinking I could go about my life without a worry about how my choices would catch up to me one day.
Now that day has come, and I’m faced with an impossible choice. Fight for the life I want so desperately, or do what has always been expected of me. If I wage war against my father, people I love will be harmed, perhaps irreparably, and I can’t live with that possibility, no matter how much it hurts to picture a life without Ellie and the child I’ve come to want so desperately.
I return to the room defeated, laid low and humiliated. I’ve never felt like more of a failure in my life. Before I go in to see Ellie, I stash the photos in my messenger bag. I hope she never sees them. I hope no one ever sees them.
In the bedroom, I sit on the edge of the bed and stare down at her lovely face for a long time before I lean over to kiss her awake. “Ellie, my love,” I whisper. “Wake up.”
Her eyes flutter open and sparkle with joy when she sees that I’m back. “How’d it go?”
“Not so great.”
That’s all it takes to dim her joy. “What happened?”
Chapter 19
With one look at him, I can tell that something is very wrong. His face, which was relaxed after our lovemaking on the plane, is now tight with tension, and his brows are drawn together in a frown that’s so contrary to his normally upbeat and amused expression, I barely recognize him.
I push myself up against the pillows and take hold of his hands. “Tell me. Whatever it is, just tell me, and we’ll face it together.”
“He has photos.” He swallows hard and diverts his gaze as if he’s ashamed. “Of me and us.”
“W-what kind of photos?”
“Me in every sort of compromising position you can imagine, and us at Black Vice as well as the pizza place in Venice and kissing on your front porch.”
As if I’ve been gut-punched, the air leaves my body in a whoosh.
“I’ve talked to Emmett,” he says quickly, perhaps trying to keep me from totally freaking out, “and he’s working it from his end and seeing what our options are. My father has been having me followed since I left home.”
I think about my parents, my sisters, my brother, my nieces and nephews seeing photos of me in a sex club online, and I’m suddenly and viciously nauseated. “Oh my God, Jasper. Oh my God!”
“Ellie, darling, listen. I’ll give him what he wants before I’ll let him or anyone hurt you. No one will see those photos. I swear to you. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you.”
“At what expense?” The words are ripped from my soul. “You being forced to live a life that’s all about obligation and nothing to do with love or joy or passion?”
He draws me into his embrace. “I’ll figure it out. One way or the other, I’ll figure it out, and I will protect you and our child.”
“No!” I push him away, even though that’s the last thing I want to do. I’m just so furious, I feel like I could commit murder on his behalf. “You’re not going to give in to him. I don’t care what we have to do, but you are not giving in.”
“Darling, it’s not that simple.”
I meet his gaze, and I hope he can see every bit of what I feel for him in my determination. “It is absolutely that simple.”
“He’s not screwing around, El. If I call his bluff, he’ll come out swinging. If the pictures of us at Black Vice become public, it’ll devastate you and your family.”
“How did he get someone in there?”
“Believe me, that’s one of many questions we’ll be trying to answer in the coming days. In the meantime, I need to get back to LA. Can I take a rain check on high tea?” His sweet smile is in stark contrast to the weariness I see in his eyes.
I don’t tell him that I’ve been to high tea at Claridge’s—many times, in fact, when we spent the summer I was thirteen in London while my father shot a film here. I don’t tell him because I’ve never been to high tea at Claridge’s with him. “Yes, you can, but I’m going to cash in that rain check the next time we’re here.”
“Of course, love.” He says the words I want to hear, but I can tell his heart is not in them. Not like it was before he saw his father.
“We will be back here again. Many times, probably, for London premieres and the many more BAFTAs you and the Quantum team will win. We’ll be he
re to see your sisters and your mother. We’ll be back, and you’ll take me to high tea at Claridge’s, damn it.” Before he can say anything, I put my arms around his neck and draw him into a kiss. I’m throwing everything I have at him, my words, my body, my heart and my soul. I can only hope it’ll be enough.
He withdraws slowly from the kiss, leaning his forehead against mine. “There’s one thing we need to do right away, my love.”
I’m comforted by the fact that he still calls me that. Perhaps that means he still loves me as much as I love him. “What’s that?”
“We need to tell Flynn about us.”
“Oh. We do? Right now?”
“I’m afraid so. I know you wanted to wait and keep it private for a while longer, but if we’re to put up a fight against my father, Flynn will need to be involved. I don’t want him to stumble upon the news that we’ve been trying to make a baby. We should tell him that ourselves. Don’t you agree?”
Nodding, I say, “Yes, I agree, and I don’t care if he knows. I don’t care if the whole world knows. Let’s call him.”
“It’s five in the morning in LA. You’ll scare the hell out of him if you call him now.”
“Will we be able to call him from the plane?”
“Probably not. We’ll be too high up and over the ocean for the first half of the trip.”
“Then let’s call him now.” I make sure all the important parts of me are covered by the sheet, reach for my phone, click on the FaceTime app and call my brother.
He answers with a grunt, and I’m treated to the sight of him and his wife wrapped around each other like human pretzels. Okay, so maybe FaceTime wasn’t the best idea. I show the phone to Jasper, and he smiles.
“Flynn, wake up.”
“I’m awake. What’s wrong? Why are you calling me in the middle of the night, El?”
“It’s not the middle of the night where I am.”
“Where are you?”
“In London with Jasper.”
After a long pause, he says, “Why are you in London with Jasper?”
“Because I’m in love with him, and we’re having a baby together.”
“You’re pregnant?” Natalie lets out a squeal, pops up and the covers drop to nearly expose her bare breasts. Thankfully, she catches the sheet before we see her assets.
I smile at Jasper, who watches me with an unreadable expression. “I don’t know. Maybe. I hope so.”
“This is huge news!” Natalie says. “You dirty dogs! How did you manage to keep this hidden from all of us?”
“It’s a relatively new development.”
“Where is he?” Flynn asks in a clipped tone that puts me on edge.
“Right here with me.”
“Put him on.”
“Flynn…”
“Put him on, Ellie.”
Grimacing at Jasper, I turn my phone toward him.
“Flynn.”
“Jasper. Are you in love with my sister?”
He takes hold of my hand. “I am. I have been for a long time.”
My heart does backflips and cartwheels as I listen to him profess his love for me in that accent I could listen to all damned day and never grow tired of. Jasper Autry is in love with me. I need a fan because it’s getting warm in here.
There’s another long pause as we wait to hear what Flynn will say. “Well, why the hell didn’t you say so before now?”
“That’s complicated and between your sister and me.”
“Fair enough, but there are things we need to talk about.”
“Yes, there are. In fact, you’ll be hearing from Emmett about some of them this morning.”
“What does he have to do with anything?”
“I’ll let him tell you. We’re on our way back to LA shortly. We’ll talk when I get to the office.”
“You’re goddamned right we will.”
I take the phone from Jasper and stare at the face looking back at me. He may be world-famous, but he’ll always be my baby brother. “Be nice, Flynn.”
“You woke me up at five on a Saturday morning to tell me you’re hooking up with my partner and making a baby. How nice do you expect me to be?”
“Don’t worry, Ellie,” Natalie says. “I’ll take care of him.”
Flynn waggles his brows. “Mmm, yes, you will.”
“I’m outta here. See you later.” I press the End button before I see something that can’t be unseen. To Jasper, I say, “That went as well as could be expected.”
“I know he’s your baby brother, darling, but he’s an awful pain in the arse sometimes.”
“You’re telling me? Believe me, I know, but his heart is in the right place.”
“Usually.”
“Thank God for Natalie. She keeps him under control.”
“I have to say, I’m still surprised by how hard and fast he fell for her. I never thought I’d see the day.”
“But you’re happy for him, right?”
“Of course I am. I’m thrilled for both of them. No one deserves it more than they do.”
“You do. You deserve to be happy, too.”
He shrugs. “We don’t always get what we want in this life. I’ve been resigned to that reality for as long as I can remember.” Filled with restless energy, he gets up and crosses the room to look out the window. I can see the tension in the set of his shoulders.
Though I’m naked, I get up and go to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. At first he tenses, but then he relaxes ever so slightly. “That’s bullshit. You’re in charge of your own destiny, Jasper. We all are. No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do.”
“I wish that were entirely true, darling. You have no idea how much I wish that were true. Everything feels so out of control all of a sudden.”
“Not everything. If it’s control you need, control me.”
“I’d be afraid to touch you right now. I’m too filled with rage and a million other unpleasant emotions.”
“I’m not afraid of you or your rage. You would never hurt me.”
“I can’t be sure of that right now.”
“I’m sure of it—now and always.” I raise my hands to his shoulders and run them down his arms to grasp his hands. “Come to bed with me, Jasper. Be with me.”
“We don’t have time. I have to get back to LA to deal with this nightmare he’s unleashed on me.”
“We have time, and Emmett is already working on a solution. You’re not in this alone. Not anymore.” I urge him to turn to face me, and the yearning I see in his expression goes straight to my overcommitted heart. Raising my hands to his face, I draw him into a kiss that goes from sweet to smoking hot in about two seconds. He devours me. There’s no other word for it. His obvious hunger for me is incredibly arousing. I wrap my arms around him, offering him everything I have to give. “Take me, Jasper. I’m yours.”
“You don’t know what you do to me. You have no fucking idea.”
I swallow hard. “I think I might.”
Then he kisses me, harder and more desperately than he ever has before. In some ways, I feel like I’m infusing him with my strength and determination to get through this challenge. Maybe if I’m strong enough for both of us, we can come out on the other side together. Other than the baby I hope we’ve already created, the only thing I want is a chance at a life with him.
We come down on the bed in a tangle of limbs, and he continues to kiss me as if his life depends upon it. After more heated kisses, he moves from my lips to my neck, kissing a path down the front of me.
“As I recall,” he says gruffly, “we have a pesky plug to deal with before we can be on our way back to LA.”
The intense control I hear in his tone is all it takes to set me on fire for him. He’s back in charge, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Hands over your head, love.”
While complying with his instruction, I break out in goose bumps as the cool air caresses my heated skin.
He is
effortlessly sexy in the way he touches me, looks at me, teases me. Everything he does is with the ultimate purpose of making me crazy with lust. I’ve never been like this with any other man. I’m usually bored or distracted or making my grocery list while enduring a man’s touch. I had bigger and better orgasms by myself than with any of them.
With this man, however, there’s no room in my brain for anything other than him and the way he makes me feel. The orgasms I have with him are nothing less than life changing.
Of course he can’t just remove the plug and get on with our day. No, he has to make a production out of it, kissing a path up the inside of my leg while he tugs and releases the plug so many times, I’m about to come from the sheer power of the anticipation he arouses in me. No matter how anxious I get waiting to see what he will do, I know now that whatever happens will be amazing.
Kneeling between my legs, he drags his tongue from the base of the plug to my clit, sucking it into his mouth and then releasing it in time with the push-pull of the plug. “Don’t come.”
The reminder that he controls my pleasure draws a choppy-sounding sob from me. It’s sheer torture to try to control my body’s natural responses to what he’s doing.
“You can do it, love.” He continues to lick and suck and tease me by putting pressure on the plug before withdrawing it almost completely and then reseating it.
I’m writhing on the bed, wanting to get closer to him, but needing relief, too. “Please…”
“What do you want? Tell me what you need.”
“You know!”
“Tell me anyway.”
“You’re enjoying this too much.” When I go to push back my hair from my face, I realize my body is bathed in perspiration.
“Is there such a thing as enjoying this too much?”
“Yes! When you’re torturing your partner.”
“Ahhh, my love, this is not torture. If you want to experience torture, I’d be happy to show you if you’d like.”
I moan in frustration. I can’t imagine anything more torturous than trying not to come while he sucks hard on my clit and tugs on the plug in my ass. My legs are shaking violently from the effort to hold back.