by Force, Marie
“No thanks necessary. It’s the right thing for everyone involved.”
“And Gwen agreed to this?”
“She was thrilled to be asked. Apparently, it’s what she’s always wanted.”
“I feel like I’ve been set free.”
“You have, and you should use your freedom to live the life that best suits you, Jasper.”
I slip my arm around him and rest my head on his shoulder, needing to share in this momentous occasion.
“And please bring your Ellie to Cornwall very soon, will you?”
“I will,” he says softly. “Thank you, Mum.”
“Be well, Jasper.”
The phone goes dead, and he sags against me. “Did that just happen?”
“It did. How do you feel?”
“Stunned. I can’t believe he let me go. I never thought he would.”
“You didn’t give him much choice. You stood up for yourself and made it clear that you wouldn’t be blackmailed or strong-armed.”
“It didn’t hurt that my mother probably threatened to divorce him if he did anything to harm me.”
“Probably not, but the first step was yours, and I’m so proud of you for taking a stand for the life you want.”
“And this, right here with you, is the life I want. It’s the only life I want.” He kisses me and then pulls back to look at me. “You asked how I feel. What about you?”
“I feel relieved and giddy and excited for the future and so, so happy for you.”
“For us.”
“For us.”
“And how would you feel about your son being the eleventh Duke of Wethersby?”
“Will he have his father’s love and support as he learns how to tend to his family’s history while also pursuing his own dreams?”
“He’ll have his father’s whole heart and soul and all the support he needs to be anything he wants.”
“In that case, I’d be honored to raise the eleventh Duke of Wethersby.”
Smiling, he gazes into my eyes and tips up my chin to receive his kiss. It’s a soft, sweet kiss that’s full of love and hope. The desire burns as hot as ever between us, but we take it slow, undressing each other with unusual patience, touching with reverence. Now that the road to forever has opened up before us, we have the freedom to take our time, to savor each moment.
He stretches out on top of me and looks at me with awe and amazement etched into his expression, as if he, too, is wondering what he did to get so lucky. Taking my hands, he places them over my head. “Keep them there,” he says gruffly.
“Why?”
Raising his head, he meets my gaze, lifting a brow in inquiry.
“Why do you always want my hands out of the way? I want to touch you.”
“I, um… I don’t always want them out of the way.”
“Yes, you do. Nearly every time.”
“Oh, ah, well, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
I bring one of my hands to his face to caress his cheek. “Tell me why it matters to you.”
He exhales a ragged sigh and drops his head to my chest. “He would hit me. Any time I failed to properly answer his questions, any time I was unable to fake enthusiasm for the things he wanted to teach me, any time I was less than what he wanted in a son.”
I wrap my arms around him and cradle his head to my chest, all the while blinking back tears for the boy who’d tried so hard to be what his father wanted him to be.
“The worst was when I told him I’d turned down all the schools he made me apply to, and the only one left was USC film school. He broke my jaw that day.”
“God, Jasper.” A sob hiccups through me, and tears fall from my eyes. “What about your mother? Where was she?”
“She never knew about it. She was in Cornwall when that happened. I showed up at school with my jaw wired shut and my face so bruised I was barely recognizable to myself. But I refused to let him take that away from me. I told people I’d been in a car accident. Until now, the only way I could really let go with a lover was to ensure her hands were out of the equation.”
I comb my fingers through his hair, wishing I could crawl inside him and personally eradicate every scar on his soul. “I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t want you to pity me, Ellie. I would hate that.”
“Pity is the least of what I feel for you. I’m so damned proud of you for standing up to him when you were so young, for following your dream no matter what it cost you. Look at where that dream has taken you—to the very top of your profession.”
“And it’s brought me right here to you.”
“That, too. I’ll never touch you with anything other than love on my mind.”
Raising his head from my chest, he kisses away my tears. “Don’t cry for me, sweet Ellie.”
“Only happy tears from now on.” I keep my arms around him as he settles between my legs, his cock hard and hot against my core.
“Remember the project that brought us together in the first place?”
“How could I forget?”
“We’ve gotten a little sidetracked in the last couple of days, and I believe there was a schedule we were to keep to.”
“I’m feeling very sick and very fertile.”
“Mmm, I do so love when you talk dirty to me, darling.”
In keeping with the slow theme of the day, he enters me in teasing increments, going deep before retreating over and over again, leaving me desperate for more, which I suspect is his intention. The next time, I keep him from escaping by curling my legs around his hips.
Chuckling, he brushes his lips over mine. “It seems you’ve completely trapped me, my love.”
I smile up at him. “That was my evil plan all along.”
“I’ve never been so happy to be trapped in all my life.”
Epilogue
Jasper and I stand together in the bathroom, looking down upon the array of plastic sticks on the vanity. My heart is beating so hard and so fast that I fear I may hyperventilate. Per Dr. Breslow’s advice, we made ourselves wait until my period was officially a week late before we took the tests, and now that the moment is upon us, I can’t bear to look.
I close my eyes and say a silent prayer. I’ve waited too long to try to have a baby. It would’ve been easier when I was younger. But back then, I didn’t have Jasper standing by my side, his arm around my shoulders, the heat of his body warming the chill that’s taken me over as the fears multiply with every second it takes for the tests to do their thing.
I turn my face into his chest. “I can’t stand it.”
“My poor darling.” I want that voice to be the last thing I hear before I leave this life. “How could you not be pregnant with the effort we’ve put forth over the last few weeks?”
How could I not love a man who makes me laugh when I’m more nervous than I’ve ever been in my life? But that’s how it is with Jasper. He knows just what to say to me to calm my fears, soothe my hurts and set me on fire with the kind of desire I never knew existed until I had him.
We’re in Cornwall visiting his mother for a week, and we’ve had the best time exploring his childhood home, going on long hikes and having picnics in remote corners of the estate where we’ve made love outdoors more times than I can count. It’s been a peaceful, restful escape from the madness that overtook us in LA after our interview with Carolyn aired.
The revelations of Jasper’s pedigree, his new relationship with Flynn Godfrey’s sister and the timing of his father’s latest folly combined to set off a feeding frenzy during an otherwise slow news week. I now have a much better understanding of what Flynn deals with on a regular basis, although how he can stand it is a mystery to me.
Jasper suggested we escape to Cornwall, so here we are. I received the warmest possible welcome from his mother, and I’ve met two of his sisters and their families. I already feel right at home with the Kingsleys. We haven’t heard a word from Jasper’s father, and he’s said he doesn’t expect to
hear from him, especially after Jasper managed to lure Nathan away. It’s probably better if I don’t meet Henry, as I’d probably make one hell of a scene letting him know what I think of a man who would treat his own son the way he has treated Jasper. Greg Thompson turned over the original images and video from the clubs to Devon Black, who pressed charges against his former security chief.
We finally relaxed somewhat when Devon let us know that the images had been destroyed. We’re still trying to track down the private investigator who followed Jasper, and Gordon is making headway there, too. We won’t completely relax until all the images of Jasper in compromising situations have been located and destroyed.
“Let’s talk about something else while we wait,” Jasper suggests. “Such as the news from home about Aileen and the kids moving to LA. How about that?”
“I’m so glad they’re coming.”
“I’ve never heard Kris so excited about anything.”
“Do you have the scoop on how it came about?”
“He said that when Maddie and Logan cried when it was time to go home, Nat suggested that Aileen move to LA, and the kids begged her to do it. Hayden offered her the receptionist job that’s open at Quantum. Flynn promised to help her find a place to live, and Kris said he’d do whatever he could to help them get settled.”
“They put on the full-court press, huh?”
“They certainly did, and it worked. She’s letting the kids finish the school year in New York, and then they’ll be relocating.”
“Such great news.”
“Kris is crazy about her, not that he’ll admit it to me, but it’s obvious to anyone who knows him.”
“I’d say it’s quite mutual. She lights up in his presence.”
“I can’t wait to see what happens with them,” Jasper says. “You know who else lights up around a man?”
“Who?”
“Leah whenever Emmett is in the room.”
“That’d be an interesting pairing. She’d keep him on his toes.”
“Indeed, she would,” he says with a chuckle. “Shall we take a look, my love?”
I groan and press my face deeper into his chest. “You do it. I can’t.”
“We’re looking for two lines, right?”
“Muh-huh.” His shirt muffles my voice. I close my eyes as tight as I can and hold my breath.
“Darling… Take a look.”
“I can’t.”
“You’re going to want to see this.”
Still holding my breath, I turn slowly, preparing myself for any possibility. I open my eyes and blink the strips of plastic into focus. There’re double lines everywhere I look. “Oh my God! Oh my God, Jasper! We did it! We really did it!”
“We did it and we did it and we did it some more, and you’re thoroughly and completely preggers, my love.”
I bring both hands to my mouth, as if that could possibly contain the sob that erupts from the deepest part of me. We did it.
He holds me tight as the emotions tumble out of me in a mess of tears and sobs and probably some not-so-attractive snot. I’ve never been this happy. Ever.
Then he drops to his knees before me, and I gasp.
“My dear darling, Ellie, who gave me the courage to fight for the life I want more than I’ve ever wanted anything, will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife now that I’ve thoroughly and completely knocked you up?”
I’m laughing. I’m crying. I’m beside myself with joy as I nod and whisper, “Yes,” in response to his adorable proposal. Then he tops himself by sliding a purple pacifier on the third finger of my left hand, and I lose it all over again, realizing he planned this so perfectly.
He stands and gathers my soggy self into his arms. “Mother gave me my grandmother’s ring to give to you. I hope you love it, but if you don’t, we’ll get you one you do love.”
“That’s so lovely of your mum, but I don’t care about the ring. That doesn’t matter. This… Us… This is what matters.”
He tightens his hold on me. “I love you desperately, Estelle Godfrey Junior. Only you. Forever.”
“I love you, too, my lord.” I love to tease him by calling him that. “Thank you for making all my dreams come true.”
“Trust me, my darling. It was entirely my pleasure.”
* * *
Keep reading for Delirious, Kristian & Aileen’s story!
Chapter 1
I counted the days. I can’t remember the last time I was so excited for something to happen that I counted the fucking days. I did that leading up to today, the day Aileen and her kids, Logan and Maddie, officially move to LA. I first met them in January when they came for Flynn and Natalie’s wedding. Before Natalie’s life blew up after she got together with Flynn, she was Logan’s teacher. Aileen was sick with breast cancer then, and Natalie was a good friend to her and her kids.
The first time I saw Aileen at the wedding, she was painfully thin with deep, dark circles under her eyes and the shortest hair I’d ever seen on a woman. I found out later that was because she’d lost her hair during chemo, and it had started to grow back. I remember wondering about the odd haircut and then feeling guilty when I found out why her hair was so short.
But the signs of her illness aren’t what I remember most about my friend’s wedding day. No, it was Aileen’s joyfulness that stood out. I’d never met a woman who had such incandescent light about her, even during what had to be some of the darkest and most difficult days of her life. She was, even in the throes of illness, so beautifully alive.
I was drawn to her like the proverbial moth to flame, and like a moth that doesn’t know enough not to fly directly into the heat, I was unable to resist talking to her, getting to know her and nurturing an immediate and unprecedented attraction. The heat of that attraction swallowed me whole, and I was powerless to walk away. I let the attraction grow and flourish into friendship over subsequent visits, including the one in which I helped to convince her that she and the kids ought to move from New York to LA to live near us. Hayden offered her a job at Quantum, and we all encouraged her to take the leap.
And then I counted the fucking days.
So, what am I doing sitting on the floor of the game room closet in my Hollywood penthouse apartment, ignoring one call after another from my business partners, who are also my closest friends and the only family I’ve ever had? They want to know where I am, if I’m all right and why I’m out of touch on a day we’ve all been looking forward to.
We have plans. Flynn and Nat are picking up Aileen and the kids at LAX while the rest of us—Jasper, Ellie, Hayden, Addie, Leah, Emmett, Marlowe, Sebastian and I are supposed to be waiting for them at the house Ellie used to call home in Venice Beach. Since she’s moved in with Jasper, Ellie is renting the house to Aileen. I’m sure the others are already there as the airport contingent is due home within the hour. Everyone is excited for them to get here.
We have surprises waiting for them. Two days ago, Natalie, Marlowe, Addie and Leah accepted the shipment from the company that moved Aileen’s stuff from New York. Flynn, Hayden and I spent an entire evening putting beds together while the women unpacked their kitchen stuff. Aileen thinks she has all that to contend with when she arrives, but when they walk into the house today, their things will be waiting for them along with a black Audi sedan in the driveway.
I check my watch to confirm the car is being delivered right about now. The car will be in the company’s name, but I bought it for her. I knew she’d never accept such an extravagant gift unless I billed it as a company car. I’m not sure why I felt the need to do such a thing, but I was at the dealership finalizing the purchase when it occurred to me that buying her a car might be too much too soon. By then it was too late to take it back, and besides, I didn’t want to. She needs a car, so I got her one.
Natalie stocked the kitchen with groceries and filled the house with vases full of Aileen’s favorite white hydrangeas.
Imagining her reaction to everything
we’ve done has me yearning for something I simply have no right to. If she is an angel sent straight from heaven, I’m the devil himself in comparison.
I grew up mostly on the streets in the meanest part of Los Angeles, clawed my way into the film business, catching a couple of lucky breaks that brought me to where I am today. I’m one of Hollywood’s most influential and powerful producers, a partner in the Quantum Production Company with some of the biggest names in the business. I’m on top of the world—literally—in my penthouse apartment right in the heart of Hollywood, which is suddenly trendy again.
Despite my many successes, despite the Oscar and Golden Globe that sit on a shelf in my office at work, and despite the fortune I’ve accumulated through hard work and determination, I’m still the homeless, rootless boy I once was. Crippled by fear, I’m sitting in the corner of a closet, ignoring calls and texts from the people closest to me and telling myself it’s the right thing to do.
I’m a piece of shit compared to her. The things I’ve done to survive and thrive in this harsh world would horrify her. I’m wealthy beyond my wildest dreams—and I had some fairly wild dreams as a kid running the wicked streets of LA—but all the money in the world can’t scrub the darkness from my soul.
I shudder in revulsion when I think about the things I did to stay alive. I don’t believe in regrets as a matter of principle. You can’t change the past, so why waste the present with regrets, or at least that’s always been my philosophy. But for the first time in my life, I wallow in a vast sea of regret. I wish I were someone different so I’d be good enough for a beautiful, unspoiled angel like her. Bile stings my throat, bringing tears to my eyes. I have to stay away from her and her precious children, even if everything inside me calls out for her, wishing I could let her fix what’s wrong with me, wishing she could be the one to chase away the darkness and fill me with her light.
She’s finally here. I could see her right now. All I’ve got to do is get up off the fucking floor, get in the car and point it toward Venice Beach. Everyone I care about is there. They’re looking for me, wondering where I am.