by Force, Marie
“Aileen was feeling woozy,” Kristian says before she can ask. “Might’ve been the heat.”
“Are you better now?” Natalie asks.
“Much.”
“They’re opening the doors,” Flynn says.
“We’ll be right in,” Kristian replies.
While the others head inside, Kristian stops me from getting up with his hand on my arm. “Take one more minute. Finish the water.”
I hate that I’ve given him reason for concern about my health on such an important night for him—and for us. He’ll want to coddle me later rather than dominate me, and that makes me sad.
We’re the last two to enter the theater, and we’re shown to seats on the center aisle, next to his Quantum partners and their dates.
“You look gorgeous,” Marlowe says when I sit next to her.
Oh my God! Marlowe Sloane thinks I look gorgeous! “Thank you, so do you.” Wearing a black gown with her signature red hair corralled into an elaborate updo and jewels dangling from her earlobes, tonight she’s every bit the glamorous movie star the world has come to know. I feel honored to know the other side of her, the casual, funny, fiercely loyal woman who more than holds her own with her male business partners.
“Are you feeling okay?” she asks.
“I’m fine, thanks.” It occurs to me that I’ll always be the “sick” girl in this group, the one who has cancer, because I was in the thick of treatment when I met them. It’s nice that they care so much, but I hope that in time the word cancer isn’t so closely associated with me.
My thoughts are interrupted by Hayden, who stands before the gathering to introduce the film. He talks about the story in Insidious within the context of the opioid epidemic sweeping the country. “This story appealed to my Quantum partners and me because it’s the story of our generation. While preparing for the film, we spent time with families that have been touched by this epidemic, and many of them are here with us tonight. We thank them for sharing their stories with us, and we dedicate this film to the loved ones they’ve lost to addiction. In honor of Insidious, my partners and I will make a one-million-dollar donation to several Los Angeles-area treatment facilities on the frontlines of this new war on drugs.”
The announcement is met with thunderous applause.
“And now,” Hayden concludes, “I’m proud to present Insidious.”
He walks off the stage, and the house lights go dark.
Next to me, I hear Kristian take a deep breath and release it. I reach for his hand and give it a squeeze.
The film opens with a scene on the streets of LA in which a man is looking to score heroin. It takes a full minute to recognize the drug addict as Flynn. I suppress a gasp. He looks so different! It’s astounding. The film captivates me. It’s gritty and visceral and spares no punches as it follows Flynn’s character from rock bottom through rehab and the effort to put his life back together. Marlowe is fantastic as his take-no-prisoners therapist, and I can definitely see why they’re both getting early Oscar buzz.
The closing credits roll, and the theater explodes with a standing ovation, shouts and cheers.
Flynn, Marlowe and the rest of the cast join Hayden onstage for a curtain call.
I’m overwhelmed with emotion after watching the film, the same way I was after seeing Camouflage. It’s no wonder Flynn is considered one of his generation’s greatest actors. Marlowe is his female counterpart. And they’re both my friends.
I glance to my left and see Natalie wiping away tears as she claps for her husband and the rest of the brilliant cast. How thrilling it must be to play even a small role in such a production, and I begin to understand Kristian a little better as I watch him applaud his colleagues.
“Congratulations,” I say to him when the noise dies down to the point where he’ll be able to hear me. “It’s incredible.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
“Everyone will think so. It’s going to be a huge hit.”
He hugs me and kisses me right there in front of everyone. “I was hoping you’d like it.”
“I loved it. I can’t wait to see it again. And I loved seeing your name as executive producer.”
“That never gets old, no matter how many films we do. To see my name attached to something so amazing…”
“You should be very proud.”
“I am, thank you.”
I love his humility, his sense of wonder, the excitement that dances in his blue eyes as he watches his partners, the people who have been his family, soak up the adulation of an appreciative crowd.
We’re escorted by security personnel to the after-party, which is held on the roof of a nearby restaurant. Waiters pass out flutes of champagne and delicious bite-size appetizers as we hobnob with Hollywood royalty. I can’t believe some of the faces I recognize in the crowd. After their big win with Camouflage last year, everyone wants a piece of the Quantum partners, or so it seems to me.
Kristian is engaged in an intense conversation with a studio executive he introduced me to, so I signal to him that I’m going to talk to Natalie.
He nods, but I can tell he wishes I’d stay close to him, and I feel his gaze on me as I cross the crowded room to where Nat is sitting in a half-circle booth with Addie, Ellie, Sebastian, Leah and Emmett. They move over to make room for me, and I squeeze in on the end next to Nat.
I’m there about ten seconds when another flute of champagne appears in front of me.
“How’re you feeling?” Nat asks. The room is loud with voices and background music. The others are engaged in conversation, so no one can hear us.
“Totally fine. Nothing to worry about. How about you?” I raise a brow that makes her giggle, remembering the news she shared earlier.
“Never better,” she says, winking.
I lower my voice even further. “It was mean to do that to me when I couldn’t freak out.”
“Maybe so, but your reaction was priceless.”
I squeeze her arm. “I’m so happy for you guys.”
“Thanks. We’re rather thrilled ourselves.”
“Have you told anyone else?”
“Not yet. We were waiting until after tonight. Everyone has been so busy and stressed out getting ready.”
“I’m honored to be in the know.”
“I needed to tell someone.”
“Thanks for picking me.”
“Now you have to tell me something no one else knows. You and Kristian? Getting busy, yes?”
“Perhaps,” I say with a coy smile.
She nudges me. “Knock it off and spill the deets.”
I find him in the crowd, laughing and talking with two other men. It’s like he has a spotlight over his head, because he’s the only one I see in a crowd of people. “I’m in love with him.”
“Oh, Aileen… That’s so amazing.”
I tear my gaze off him to look at her. “I think I have been since your wedding.”
“If you ask me, the feeling is entirely mutual. He keeps looking at you, even while he’s talking to other people. Flynn says he’s been totally different at the office this week—distracted and leaving early and generally not at all himself.”
“Is it wrong to say I love to hear that he’s as messed up as I am?”
“Not wrong at all. I’m so excited about this!”
“Could I ask you something super personal? And if it’s too personal, you don’t have to tell me.”
“Of course.”
My gaze lands once again on Kristian, because if he’s in the room, I want to look at him. “When you and Flynn were first together, how did you deal with…”
“The BDSM?”
“Yes,” I say, relieved that she spared me from having to say it. If I’m squeamish about talking about it, maybe I shouldn’t be so eager to try it.
“It took some time for him to come clean with me about his needs in that regard, but after he did, we hashed it all out. He insisted on a contract that spells out what I will an
d will not do. We came up with a safe word, and we gave it a try.”
“You have an actual contract? With your husband?”
“Yes, most Doms will insist on a contract so there’re no surprises in a scene. Practitioners of the lifestyle are very big on communication—before, during and after. If Kristian is anything like Flynn, you’ll talk more about your sex life with him than you ever have. Not that I had anything to compare it to, but from what I’m told, most people outside the lifestyle don’t have frank conversations about what they’re going to do in the bedroom the way we do.”
As a big fan of open communication in all aspects of my life, I find this refreshing. But the thought of discussing, in detail, what’s going to happen in bed with Kristian, makes me feel warm all over, particularly between my legs, where an insistent throb has my full attention. I can’t wait to be alone with him.
“How long do these parties usually last?” I ask.
“A couple of hours, but I wouldn’t be surprised if your man claims you much sooner than that, seeing as how he went to so much trouble to get you alone for the night.”
“He keeps telling me he doesn’t need the kink when he’s with me. That it’s already more with me.”
“Hmm.”
“What does that mean? Hmm?”
“I’m certainly no expert, but from what I’ve come to know about Flynn and the others, I find it surprising that he’s suddenly not interested.”
“So do I. I think it’s because I was sick, and he’s afraid to push me too far. How do I tell him I want him to push me? I want to experience everything with him. I don’t want him to feel like he has to turn off this part of himself that’s been so important to him because he’s with me now. You know what I mean?”
“I do, and you need to keep telling him that you want it so he won’t be afraid to go there with you. Flynn and I had a lot of similar challenges after what I went through in the past. His inclination was to treat me like I was a delicate flower. I showed him I’m a lot tougher than that, and we got through it. You will, too.”
“What if…” I bite my lip, trying to find the courage to express my greatest fear in actual words. If I say it out loud, then it becomes real.
“What, honey?”
“What if I can’t take it? What if it’s too much for me, and I can’t be what he needs?”
“If he cares about you as much as I think he does, he’ll adjust what he needs to what you can handle. He’d never want you to be afraid of him. I’m sure of that.”
Her assurances make me feel a little more confident, but I’m still full of uncertainty about whether I can be the woman he needs. And if I can’t be? What happens then?
Chapter 20
I want out of here. I’ve spoken to all the honchos from the studio, absorbed their rave reviews of the film, done the glad-handing I need to on behalf of Quantum, and now I want to be alone with my woman.
My woman.
Two words that have never filtered through my mind in one sentence until now. Until her. She’s huddled with Nat at one of the tables. God only knows what the two of them are talking about, but I have my suspicions.
I’m glad Natalie filled her in about the BDSM. She saved us a lot of time by cutting to the chase and telling Aileen. Best of all? Aileen didn’t run from me in horror when she found out I like it kinky and rough. In fact, I quickly discovered that she can more than hold her own in the bedroom, despite sometimes seeming fragile in other settings.
She’d hate to hear me describe her that way, but after her near-fainting episode earlier, I’m even more reluctant to push the envelope with her in bed. But God, I want to. I want to make her mine in every possible way.
Desire beats through me like an extra pulse that belongs only to her. I can’t stop looking at her or thinking about her or wanting her.
The studio head is telling me they’re devoting an extra four million to marketing the film in the wake of sensational early reviews. This is big news. I ought to be elated, but I’m annoyed that he won’t stop talking. He’s keeping me from her.
I can’t take the wanting any longer. “Thanks for the great news, Jerry.” I shake his hand, noting his somewhat stunned expression. No one shuts down Jerry Lautenberg. “Could I call you on Monday to discuss it further?”
“Of course,” he says, flustered—and possibly peeved.
I don’t care. “Great. Thanks again for being here tonight. Means a lot to us.”
“Congratulations on another outstanding film.”
“Thank you very much. I’ll talk to you on Monday.” I shake his hand again and make my escape, keeping my head down and my gaze averted so no one will stop me from reaching my destination. People call out to me, but I ignore them. I reach the table where she’s sitting with Natalie and the others. She’s on the end, so I lean in to speak directly into her ear. “Let’s go.” I hold out my hand to help her up.
“Have a good night, you guys,” Natalie says with a meaningful smirk. She knows exactly what’s on my mind.
Aileen’s hand slides into mine, and that’s all it takes to calm the uneasiness of being separated from her, even minimally, for the last hour. It occurs to me that I’m becoming slightly obsessed with her, but I make no apologies for wanting to be with her all the time. I’ve waited my whole life to belong to someone, and now that I do, I want to wallow in the contentment I find only with her.
We leave without saying goodbye to anyone. If anything comes up in my absence, one of my partners can handle it. I’m officially off duty.
Gordon Yates, our director of security in LA, stands by the elevator. “Shall I request your car?” he asks.
“Yes, please. Thanks, Gordon.”
“No problem.” He speaks into a microphone attached to his earpiece as he summons the elevator for us. It takes less than a minute for the elevator to arrive, but that feels like too long. The logistics of the escape are making me crazier than I already am.
In the elevator, Aileen turns to me and rests her hands on my chest. “Why are you so tense?”
“Because I had to spend an entire hour in the same room with you without being able to touch you or talk to you.”
She smiles up at me. “You were working.”
“I was dying for you the whole time.”
“Well, now you have me.”
I put my arms around her and hold her as close to me as I can get her, my hard cock making its presence known between us. “I’m obsessed with you.”
“I seem to have the same problem where you’re concerned. I couldn’t stop looking at you when you were talking to people.”
“I saw you looking my way, and that made being separated from you even worse.”
“This is crazy,” she says with a nervous laugh.
“If this is crazy, sign me up. I want to be crazy every day for the rest of my life.”
“Kristian,” she says on a sigh.
“Too much too soon?”
“No, not at all. You just said what I was thinking.”
Before I can respond to that momentous statement, the doors open. We’re greeted by another member of Gordon’s team, who escorts us from the venue to the curb where our car awaits. The sidewalk crawls with photographers waiting for Flynn, Marlowe, Hayden and the other celebrities, so I keep Aileen tucked in close to me, hoping to shield her. While the invasion of privacy goes with the territory in my world, it’s new to her, and I don’t want her frightened by their aggressiveness.
The second we’re tucked into the cool interior of the car, I tell the driver to take us to the Quantum building, raise the barrier to close us off from view and lift her onto my lap so I can kiss her the way I’ve been dying to for hours now. As always, she’s worth the wait, responding with ardor and desperation that more than matches mine.
Traffic is heavy, even on a Saturday night, so we have time, or so I tell myself as I break the kiss, breathing hard from the desire that pounds through me.
“Have you checked
on the kids?”
“Yes, Cece says everything is fine.”
“Good.” I kiss her neck and then her lips. “I want you right now.”
“Here?”
“Right here.” When I had this tuxedo made, I insisted on one button and a zipper. None of the latches and flaps tuxedo pants usually have. As I free my cock from my pants, I never imagined that request would come in so handy. With my free hand, I push her dress up her smooth, silky legs and tug at the scrap of fabric that covers her pussy, feeling it rip.
Her face flushes with heat. “Kristian…” She glances over her shoulder to the dark glass that separates us from the driver. “We can’t.”
“We absolutely can.” She’s light as a feather, so I lift her and position her so she’s straddling my lap, her heat pressing against the tip of my cock, which aches for her. I lower her onto me slowly when I’d much rather plunge. But that would hurt her, and I never want to hurt her.
Her fingers dig into my shoulders.
Reaching under the dress that’s bunched at her waist, I grasp her ass cheeks and tug them open.
Her head falls forward, her forehead propped against mine. “I can’t believe we’re doing this in a moving car.”
“Believe it, baby. It’s all your fault that I couldn’t wait.”
“How is it my fault?”
“You’re just so fucking sexy and gorgeous. I can’t control myself when you’re around.”
“I can live with that,” she says with a sigh.
“I hope so, because you’re stuck with me.”
“I can live with that, too.”
I want to ask her, right here and now, to live with me forever. To make a home with me, to be my person, the one who will always be there for me no matter what. But it’s too soon for that, and besides, with her pussy halfway impaled on my cock, I have other things to think about.
“Let me in,” I say in a low growl that makes her moan.
“I’m trying.”
“Relax, sweetheart.” I reach down to where we’re joined to caress her clit, which is hard and throbbing under my fingers. “The driver won’t open the door without my permission. We won’t get caught.”