by Force, Marie
She’s facing away from me, so she doesn’t see me there.
“Are you sure?”
I die a thousand deaths in the pause that follows her question.
“Okay, I’ll make another appointment and see you then.”
Oh my God. Is the cancer back? I can’t hear that. I just can’t. She and her children—our children—have changed my life so completely. There’s no way I can bear to think about losing her after the joy she’s brought to my life. I didn’t even know what joy was until she showed me, and now…
I can’t.
I back out of Addie’s office and go into mine, closing the door. I wish I could leave and go to my place in town. It’s on the market, but hasn’t sold yet. I want to hide out, the way I used to before I had Aileen. I eye the closet in my office where I keep a change of clothes and my gym bag. It’s small, but it’ll do the trick. I step inside the dark, cramped space and close the door before sinking to the floor and wrapping my arms around my knees.
I feel like a coward for hiding out this way, but it’s been my coping mechanism since childhood, when I would hide from the men my mother brought home to have sex with so she could pay for her drug habit. I watched her be murdered by one of them from inside a closet. Despite that, I still find comfort in the dark, where nothing bad can happen. The darkness is my friend.
I’m there a long time, so long I’m nearly asleep when the door opens.
The blast of light is blinding after being in the dark.
“Kristian.”
The sound of her voice is like a balm on the wounds I carry with me. I long ago accepted they’ll never completely heal, but with her by my side, the pain is a dull ache rather than the sharp agony it once was.
“What’re you doing in there?”
“I needed a break.”
She squeezes into the tight space and sits next to me. There’s just enough room for both of us. I’m instantly bolstered by the heat of her body against mine. That’s all it takes to make everything better. I’m continuously amazed that she can do that for me just by existing. She takes my hand and cradles it between both of hers, making me feel loved and protected the way only she can do. She loves me so much, so perfectly. How would I ever live without her after having had this?
“I know you’re so worried about Marlowe and Leah. We all are.”
“It’s a helpless feeling to know that people you love are in trouble and there’s nothing you can do to fix it.”
“That has to be so hard for you as the family ‘fixer,’ the one who makes things better for all of us.”
“It’s the worst.”
“I hate that you’re suffering.”
“I heard you on the phone in Addie’s office. Is it back?”
She gives me a puzzled look. “Is what back?”
How can she not know what I mean? “The cancer, Aileen. Is it back?”
“No,” she says on a long exhale. “Everything is normal.”
I was so certain that I almost can’t process that I was wrong. Gratitude and relief flood my system. My throat closes around a tight lump of emotion as tears fill my eyes. Thank God.
“I’m so sorry you thought that. What did you hear me say that made you think it was back?”
“You said, ‘Are you sure,’ and then you said you’d make another appointment.”
“Oh God, Kris. I’m so sorry you thought that. The bloodwork didn’t show cancer, but it did show that I’m pregnant.”
For a second, I’m too stunned to react. “You… you’re…”
Her face lights up with the incandescent joy that was the first thing I ever noticed about her at Flynn and Nat’s wedding. Even in the throes of cancer treatment, she was the most joyful person I’d ever met. “I’m pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”
I was so prepared for disaster that it takes a minute for her words to fully register, and when they finally do, my heart swells to a size that has to be unhealthy. We weren’t sure she’d be able to have more children after her treatment, so we haven’t been careful about preventing pregnancy.
“Are you happy?” The hesitant way she asks that tells me I’m doing a shit job of reacting to the biggest news anyone has ever given me.
I kiss the back of her hand and then her sweet lips. “You really have to ask?”
“Just making sure this is good news for both of us.”
“It’s the best news I’ve ever gotten. We’ll get married right away.”
“We don’t have to.”
“We do have to. You’re going to have the biggest, most beautiful wedding anyone ever had.”
“I don’t need that. I just need you and the kids and our friends at home.”
“Whatever you want. I’d give you everything.”
“You already have.” She leans her head on my shoulder. “Tell me Leah and Marlowe are going to be okay.”
“They’re going to be fine. They’re tough and resourceful, and they have each other. I’m actually almost more worried about Sebastian. He’s never going to forgive himself for this.”
Watching my darling Ellie suffer is killing me. Surely there has to be an easier way to bring a new life into the world without writhing in unbearable pain for hours.
But Ellie… She doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. The more it hurts, the more determined she becomes. How is she able to do that? Of course, I’ve always admired her strength and the way she’d rather learn how to do something herself than pay someone else to do it. This, however, is on a whole other level.
She squeezes my hand so hard during another contraction that I fear I’ll have broken bones by the time our child is born. When the contraction passes, she sags into the pillows, breathing with her eyes closed.
I bathe her face with a cool cloth, feeling impotent and useless. I wish there was something I could do to make this easier for her, but she doesn’t need me. She’s in her zone, and I’m basically extraneous at the moment.
“Any word on Marlowe and Leah?” she asks when she can speak again.
“Nothing yet.”
Ellie’s mom comes in, bringing the fitting scent of Joy with her. Stella Flynn is joy personified. “How’re we doing?”
“Your daughter is amazing.”
Stella sweeps the sweaty hair back from Ellie’s forehead. “Of course, we already knew that long before today.”
“Are you guys done talking about me?” Ellie’s eyes open, and she offers a wan smile.
I can see how exhausted she is, and the hardest part is still to come.
“Do you want some more ice chips?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “I really want a burger.”
They won’t let her eat anything in case she ends up having a C-section. I really hope that doesn’t happen. It was important to her to try to have a vaginal birth. We went through all the classes and watched the videos and read the books, but nothing can fully prepare you for the reality of this moment.
Dr. Breslow comes in to check on Ellie and, after examining her, proclaims her ready to push. Things start to happen fast after that. The room is transformed for delivery, and additional nurses are brought in to assist the doctor. There are so many people that I get momentarily pushed aside.
“I need my husband.”
Will I ever get used to hearing myself described as the husband of the magnificent Estelle Godfrey Junior? No, never. I find my way back to her. I will always find my way back to her. “I’m here, love.”
“Your husband?” Stella’s brow is raised as she looks from Ellie to me and then back to Ellie.
“We, um… We got married at the courthouse last week. We were going to tell you guys.” She’s like a teenager confessing to her mother that she snuck out after curfew. “You aren’t mad, are you? I didn’t care about having a wedding. I just wanted to be married to Jasper.”
“Sweetheart… Of course I’m not mad. I’m delighted.” She reaches across the bed for my hand, which I willingly give her. I adore my ne
w mother-in-law. “Welcome to our family, Jasper, although it seems silly to welcome you when you’ve been one of us for years now.”
“Thank you, Stella. I love being a member of the Godfrey family.”
Ellie gasps when another contraction seizes her.
“Breathe through this one,” Breslow tells her. “On the next one, we’re going to push.”
The next hour passes in a blur of emotion and pain and love. So much love. I’ve never admired anyone more than I do my ferocious wife, who’s indomitable as she brings our child into the world, squalling and outraged.
“Congratulations.” Dr. Breslow smiles widely. “You have a son.”
Tears roll unchecked down my face as I cut the cord and take in the scrunched, red, beautiful face of my son. I once thought I’d never have children, and now I have a son.
The nurse lays him on his mother’s chest, and the look of blissful amazement on Ellie’s face is something I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. She wanted so badly to be a mother that she’d been prepared to use a sperm bank to make it happen. I’ll always be thankful I followed her outside that morning in Mexico when she confessed her fondest desire to me, and I offered to help make her dream come true.
And in the process, she made all my dreams come true—dreams I never dared to have for myself because of the obligations to my family that were placed upon me at birth. Ellie gave me the courage to face off with my father, who put us through unspeakable hell before agreeing to allow my sister to inherit his business. When he passes, I’ll become the tenth Duke of Weathersby. My wife has just given birth to the eleventh duke.
Everything will be different for my son. He’ll be encouraged to chase his own dreams while honoring his family’s heritage. I’ll give him everything my father failed to give me.
“We did it,” Ellie says, beaming up at me.
Her joy feeds mine. “Yes, we did, love. He sure is a handsome chap.”
“How could he be anything but handsome with you as his dad?”
“And you as his mum.” I lean over the bed rail to kiss them both. “I’m so proud of you, El. You were amazing.”
“I just kept telling myself to power through it so I could meet my baby. Look at him! He’s so perfect.”
“He is indeed.” He couldn’t be more perfect, with a light dusting of blond hair, a button nose and a little bow mouth. I’ve already taken inventory to confirm he has ten toes and ten fingers.
“What’s his name?” Stella asks, dabbing at tears.
I nod to Ellie to tell her mother the name we’ve chosen for him.
“Harrison Godfrey Kingsley.”
I use my mother’s maiden name of Autry professionally, but I’ll give my son my legal name.
“We’re going to call him Harry,” Ellie adds as she gazes at the baby, who settled the minute he was given to his mother.
“I love it,” Stella says. “Welcome to the world, sweet Harry.”
Chapter 21
Thankfully, they don’t take us back to the concrete room. In fact, they don’t seem to know what to do with us now that I’ve agreed to help the niece of our kidnapper. He never did give me his name, which I suspect is intentional.
“We’re hungry.” It has to be at least a full day since they took us, and we haven’t been given anything to eat in that time. I can’t imagine what Sebastian and Emmett and the others are going through, but I have no doubt they’ve marshaled the full resources of Quantum to find us. Any minute, I expect them to come bursting into the room, guns blazing.
The black-eyed kidnapper picks up the phone and tells someone to bring us food.
While we wait, I stare him down, refusing to blink. “You’ve gotten what you want from me. Why don’t you let us go?”
“I need insurance. What’s to say you won’t renege on your agreement to help Ariel the minute you leave here?”
“You have my word. I won’t renege. I’ll give you my phone number. She can call me to arrange a meeting.”
“And you’ll take her calls?”
“I swear to God on the lives of everyone I love that I’ll take her call and do everything I can to help her.”
He thinks about that for a minute before walking to a desk and returning with a notebook and pen that he hands to me. “Write down your number.”
I do what I’m told, trying to remember my new phone number. Whatever it takes to get us the hell out of here.
“How about you call her now and get the ball rolling?”
“Fine by me.”
He puts through the call. “Hi, love, it’s Uncle T. I have a very special surprise for you.” He hands the phone to me with a menacing look that puts me on notice that I’d better not fuck this up.
“Hello, Ariel, this is Marlowe Sloane.”
The girl lets out a high-pitched scream that has me holding the phone away from my ear.
“Are you kidding me right now?”
“No, it’s really me.” I tell myself that the girl has no idea her uncle is holding me and my friend hostage and forcing me to make this call. She’s an innocent bystander. “Your uncle showed me your video. You’re very talented.”
“Oh my God! I’m going to faint. I can’t believe Marlowe Sloane thinks I’m talented! My whole life… I’ve just wanted to find a way to touch people.” Her voice is heavy with emotion that reminds me of how I felt before I got my big break. I remember the almost painful yearning to use my gifts to connect with people. There’s nothing she could say that would convince me more that her passion is legitimate. I vow in that moment to keep my promise to her uncle, regardless of whatever else might happen.
I talk to Ariel for the twenty minutes it takes for the food to arrive. The smell of pizza makes my mouth water. “I have to go now,” I tell her, “but let me give you my number. Call me next week, and we’ll make plans to get together.”
“You’ll never know what this means to me.”
“I think I know. I was once right where you are with a dream and a heart full of ambition. People helped me get where I am, and I’m happy to pay it forward with you.”
I can hear her softly sobbing through the phone. “Thank you so much.”
“My pleasure. I’ll talk with you soon.” I end the call, stand, hand the phone to T and help myself to pizza for myself and Leah. After I’ve eaten two slices and consumed an entire bottle of water, I confront T. “May we go now?”
“I’ll see you out, assuming I won’t have any problems with the police or your security if I let you go.”
“You’ll never hear from me again as long as you leave us both alone.” I can’t promise he won’t hear from the police, so I don’t speak for them.
“Keep your promise to my niece, and I’ll have no further business with you.”
“I give you my word.”
He signals to another man, who’s been guarding the door. “See them out.”
“We need our phones and Leah’s car.”
“We’ll get them to you.”
“See that you do.”
I grab Leah’s hand and hold on tightly as we follow the other guy down the metal stairs and through a series of corridors. At the end of a long hallway, he pushes a door open.
The burst of bright sunlight temporarily blinds me, but I push forward, towing Leah with me while taking deep breaths of fresh air. We break into a jog and then a sprint, rounding a corner where we encounter a massive police presence.
I’ve never been so happy to see cops in my life.
They’re safe. The second I hear that news, my chest finally relaxes enough for me to take the first true deep breath I’ve had since I learned they were missing. In the next second, I’m sobbing uncontrollably. I make for the stairs and take them down to the lobby, where I use the palm scanner to gain access to the club. Only when I’m sealed away in my office do I allow myself to give in to the emotions that overtake me.
My phone chimes with a text from my mother, who’s jubilant to hear the news that Marl
owe and Leah are on their way home. Hayden must’ve told her.
I’ll respond to her later, after I get my shit together.
I’m not sure why I came down here. What I really need to do is get the fuck out of this building. I should go home, pack some clothes and leave town before I’m forced to confront things that’re better left alone.
I grab my phone and keys off the desk and head for the elevator. It opens in the lobby just as Marlowe and Leah are walking in the main door, surrounded by cops. For a second, I’m so overwhelmed by the sight of her that I can’t make myself move or breathe or do anything other than drink her in. She’s safe, and so is Leah. That’s the only thing in this entire world that matters in this moment.
Marlowe walks over to me, puts her hand on my chest and backs me into the elevator. The doors close, silencing the police officer who was telling her they need a statement.
She looks up at me with a smile on her face, her eyes dancing with delight. “Going somewhere?”
What the fuck is wrong with her? She got kidnapped by one of the most ruthless gangbangers in LA because of me. So why is she looking at me that way?
She takes a step forward.
I take a step backward and hit the wall. “Are you hurt?” I have to know.
“Not physically.”
“What the hell does that mean?” I’ll fucking kill him if he touched one red hair on her head.
“Interesting guy, your friend.”
“He’s not my friend. He was never my friend.”
“I know.” Still with that sexy, knowing smile, like she’s got a secret she’s not ready to share with me. “You want to know what else I know?”
Desperately. But then I remember my plan to get the fuck out of there, and I try to step around her.
She’s not having it. She blocks me. “Whatever you’re thinking, knock it off. Whatever you’re planning, your plans have changed. I’m in charge now.”
In the scope of ten seconds, I go from flight mode to hard as a fucking rock.
She nods toward the open elevator doors. “Move it.”
“I have somewhere to be.”
“Not anymore you don’t.” Before I can anticipate her next move, she has my phone out of my back pocket and powers it down. She sticks it in her shirt, where I assume it’s found a home in her bra.