“Yes,” he said, “it is.”
“And you’re certain he feels the same for you?”
“I know he does.”
“If you were to come out, where do you see each other ten years from now?”
“That’s easy,” he said. “I’ve already thought about it. I see us building a wonderful home together, traveling the world together, having children together through a surrogate, and enjoying our lives with one another.”
“Where is your career in that answer, Jackson?”
That stopped him. When he didn’t answer me—when he looked as if he were at a loss for words—I had to wonder if he’d finally heard me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The next morning, after a fitful sleep in which I obsessed over how I could get Austin alone so I could tell him how I felt about him, David picked me up at eleven sharp to drive me to CAA. There, I was to meet with Harper, Mimi, Jackson, and Austin to discuss what plans Austin had for me going forward when it came to my security detail.
Would he completely remove himself from my life so he would no longer be a “distraction” to me? I was betting on it.
But I wasn’t about to go down without a fight.
I wanted to look my best when I walked into Harper’s office, so I’d spent my morning going all out to make certain that happened. Before I made coffee, I washed my face in the bathroom sink and applied a facial masque that would shrink my pores and hydrate my skin.
While the masque set, I’d made coffee and went to my computer to see how the press had covered my evening with Jackson. While a few stories covered the statement I’d made about being sexually assaulted, too many other stories salaciously showed photo and photo of me being groped, with no mention of the statement I’d made before we’d boarded the yacht. Disgusted and disappointed, I turned off my computer, rinsed off the masque, and selected a whole host of potent elixirs to get my skin looking as fresh and as radiant as possible.
They worked.
In the shower, I’d used an exfoliating scrub over my entire body. For my hair, I’d gone with Aveda’s strongest conditioner—their Deep Remedy line. The result? Soft, incredibly shiny hair that I decided to flatiron and wear in a high ponytail.
Since I didn’t want to look like I wasn’t trying too hard, I kept my makeup fresh and natural, with the exception of my eyes. Since something needed to pop, I applied mink eyelashes to them, which was just enough to create a bit of drama. The whole point of my look was city chic, so I chose a pair of Prada cropped shantung pants in black, a white jersey top that clung to my curves, and a classic pair of black patent-leather pumps.
At just about the time David would arrive to pick me up, I stood before my wardrobe’s mirror and assessed myself, turning this way and that. I checked my face and my hair—and then my ass and my tits. I’d chosen not to wear a bra, and right now, with my nipples on full show…
I also wasn’t regretting it.
* * *
“Sienna,” Julia said in greeting when I approached her desk. She stood to give me a hug. “Good lord, you look amazing.”
“There’s a reason why—and you and I need to talk soon so I can tell you why. I’ve been so busy these past several days that I haven’t had a moment to call you, and I apologize for that. I would have told you what I’ve been needing to tell you sooner if I could have.”
“What are you talking about?” she asked.
“To be revealed—sooner rather than later. You’re not going to be happy with me, so plan on my plying you with enough vodka to make sure you see things from my point of view.”
“Why are you talking in code?” she asked. And then, as it hit her, I watched her eyes widen in disbelief. “This isn’t about what I think it’s about, is it?” she asked under her breath. “Tell me this isn’t about Austin. What have you done?”
“I don’t know. I might have fallen in love with him or something.”
“Fallen in love?”
“Or something.”
“Have you slept with him?”
“Kind of did that, too.”
“Sienna, what were you thinking?” she asked in a hushed tone. “We talked about this.”
“We did,” I said, my own voice low. “What you don’t know is that he aggressively came after me. I tried my best to shut him down, and then, when he got me alone, my lady parts got the best of me. And here’s the irony: now he’s shutting me down because he doesn’t want to be a distraction when it comes to keeping me safe. My life is a mess right now, Julia—and that’s just a taste of the things we need to talk about. Is Harper ready to see me?”
“First, when am I going to see you?”
“You’re in charge of my schedule,” I said. “Choose a night that I’m free, and I’ll either come to you, or you can come to me.”
In frustration, she sat down at her computer, pulled up my schedule, and then looked up at me. “Turns out you’re free tonight.”
“OK. So, will it be my slum digs or your fab apartment?”
“With the paps going bonkers over you now, it would be easier if I came to you.”
“How does eight o’clock sound?”
“Fine,” she said. “Do you need me to bring anything?”
“Maybe a bottle of the Goose,” I said. “And please, feel free to buy the biggest bottle you can find.”
“I can’t believe you allowed this to happen,” she said, standing up and coming around her desk to bring me to Harper’s office. “And I’m not going to lie to you—I’m disappointed in you.”
“Julia, I’m in love,” I said. “Try not to be disappointed, because you know I must be feeling something pretty substantial for that to have happened.”
“Especially after Eric,” she said as she looked at me. “I get it. But don’t you dare let this get in the way of your future, Sienna.”
“I don’t plan to. I promise you that. Now, look,” I said, “we’ll discuss everything tonight. But right now I have to focus on being my best when I walk into Harper’s office. Are the boys here yet?”
“All of them are in there,” she said, “including Mimi.”
I hoisted up my boobs, and when I did so, Julia looked nakedly at them.
“You’re not wearing a bra.”
“I’m not.”
“Well, that’s pretty racy.”
“Sometimes one needs to be. But don’t worry—I plan to play it cool.” I arched an eyebrow at her. “Shall we?”
* * *
“Sienna!” Harper said when Julia opened the door for me. I stepped into Harper’s lavish office. With a quick glance around the room, I saw that Jackson and Mimi had taken the sofa to the right, while Austin was sitting in a chair that had been centered at the end of the two sofas. He was facing me. I looked straight at him as Harper came over to me, and as I did, I saw his gaze sweep over my body as she embraced me. Austin totally clocked my breasts before he glanced away again.
Was that lust I just saw in your eyes, Austin? I believe it was…
“How are you, love?” Harper said in my ear. “Yesterday was pure hell for you. I’ve been beyond worried about you.”
“I’m good,” I said, hugging her back. I felt her love for me in her embrace, and I made sure she felt my own for her. “I’m really happy to see you,” I said.
She held my hands and took a step away from me. “You look stunning,” she said. “I don’t know how you’re doing it, but coming in here looking like this gives me hope that you really are weathering the storm. You’ve always been strong, my love. And tough. I’ll forever admire you for that—and particularly for the statement you made to the press last night. It was heartfelt, meaningful, and spoke to the moment. I’m proud of you.”
“As am I,” Mimi said as she stood and came over to me. “Sienna knows that she needs to be tough if she’s going to be in this business. And just look at her now—stronger than ever. Sienna, you look like the star that you are. After everything you went through yesterday, her
e you arrive looking flawless. Those pants!” she said. “Sublime slender sticks! And then there’s your top, which is screaming red-light district to me right now. So hot. So beyond! I love it!”
“Stop coming on to my client, Mimi,” Harper said. “It’s grotesque.”
“I am not coming on to Sienna, Harper. Like you, I’m merely admiring her.”
“Like a cat admires a bowl of milk?”
“Please,” she said as she stood before her former lover. “As you well know, Harper, women chase me. It’s never been the other way around.”
“And yet some regret it.”
“That’s on you, darling. Now beg off.”
In her bright-white power suit, Mimi practically charged at me. As we exchanged a quick hug and she showered me with more compliments, I heard Harper clear her throat before Mimi and I broke away from each other.
“I mean it,” Mimi said. “You look fantastic.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I appreciate that, Mimi.”
“What you’ve accomplished is no small feat, Sienna,” she said. “I mean, just look at the blizzard you and Jackson have endured since all this began. I don’t know how you two have kept it together, but you have—and it’s worked. The heat is off Jackson, and you’re about to become the star you’ve always wanted to become. I call that a win-win!”
“Sienna is already a star, Mimi,” Harper said, her arms crossed. “Now, it’s my job to turn her into an icon.”
“An icon?” I said.
“We’ll get you there, my dear—just you watch.”
“You know what, Harper?” Mimi said.
“Do I dare ask, Mimi?”
“You should, because I agree. Like Jackson, Sienna’s got that ‘it’ thing going for her. She’s a riddle packaged in a mystery. Jackson and I have discussed it ourselves. That said, what I still can’t understand for the life of me is why it’s taken you so long to bring her to this moment. But you finally did, so good on you, I guess.”
Before Harper could let her have it, Mimi said, “Sienna, I wanted to tell you personally that we all appreciate everything you’ve done for Jackson, just as I’m sure that you appreciate everything Jackson has done for your career, which is substantial. We feel that way, don’t we, Jackson?”
“Mimi, Sienna was on the verge of hitting it big before she even entered my life,” Jackson said with a frustrated sigh from the sofa. “So, let’s get that straight, OK? She’s helped me more than I’ve helped her.”
Mimi’s eyes nearly crossed before she said, “Of course!”
“And we’ve since become friends, Mimi,” Jackson said. “Close friends.”
“An added benefit if there ever was one,” she said. “Wouldn’t you agree, Sienna? I mean, my goodness! To be friends with Jackson Cruise!”
“We have become friends, Mimi, and our friendship is real. What Jackson and I have come to feel for one another goes beyond our careers. We might fake our relationship for the masses, but in the meantime, we’ve since developed a deep friendship that I cherish.”
“Well, how positively uplifting!” she said. “And so rewarding. And may I say, how completely unexpected!”
“Quit it with the showbiz, Mimi,” Harper said. “Sienna’s telling the truth.”
“Harper, why do you always feel that I’m being disingenuous?”
“Maybe because I know you? But…whatever. Let’s just leave it there, because Jackson has a shoot later today, and time is short. We need to nail down what Austin has in mind when it comes to firming up Sienna’s security detail, which is necessary. So, why don’t you take your seat next to Jackson, Sienna and I will sit down across from you, and we’ll all turn to Austin for his advice?”
When we did, Harper looked at Austin.
“What are you recommending?” she asked.
The moment she said that, my stomach tensed, even though I already knew what he’d decided. He was going to put even more distance between us.
“What I recommend is that I continue to lead Jackson’s detail,” he said. “When it’s Jackson and Sienna out together, I’ll bring in other men to assist me in protecting them.”
“Who do you have in mind?” Jackson asked.
“David and Brian,” he said. “If I feel we need more, I’ll also bring in Adam.”
“So, you have David and Brian in mind for Sienna?” Mimi asked.
“When it comes to protecting Sienna, David will take over the lead for me, and he’ll be joined by Brian, who everyone but Sienna knows is a former Navy SEAL. He’s an absolute professional. He and David will see to Sienna’s safety until the contract ends. They are among the very best of my team, and I know with certainty they’ll protect Sienna going forward.” At that moment, he finally looked at me. “Because that’s as important to me as it is to everyone else in this room.”
As I looked into his eyes, I sensed that he did feel this was the best he could do for me. He wanted to keep us apart so I wouldn’t be distracted by him—and him by me—while two other men I felt nothing for protected me. To be fair to him, his decision was practical on paper—but it still frustrated the hell out of me, if only because I wasn’t sure that was all there was to it. Was his insistence to throw up walls between us just about my safety? Or was it also about protecting his own heart—especially since he didn’t know how I felt about him? Did he feel that at the end of this, I’d be too big a star to even consider having a life with him? If that were the case, I wanted to scream at the very idea of it.
Jackson nodded at Austin. “Thanks, Austin,” he said.
“My pleasure. I hope everyone believes this is the best direction to take.”
“I appreciate the thought you’ve put into this,” Jackson said. “But I have other ideas, and we’ll follow through with those.”
Surprised, we all turned our gazes toward Jackson.
“Sorry?” Austin said.
“Austin, I don’t mean any disrespect when it comes to my own personal assessment of the situation, but because of Sienna’s relationship with me, she continues to be fresh meat for the masses—which all of us saw yesterday. And because of that, I can’t allow her not to have the best team possible. She was sexually assaulted, for Christ’s sake! So, here’s what I want: you and David will protect her while Adam and Brian will see to me. When Sienna and I are out in public together, I expect the four of you to be out in force for each of us, because everyone in this room knows that things have become far more insane than any of us imagined when we first went into this. I don’t mean to challenge you, Austin, but I will do my best by Sienna, and that means having you leading her team.”
A moment passed before Austin said, “OK.”
“Thanks for understanding,” Jackson said as he turned to me. “How do you feel, Sienna?”
Fucking conflicted, Jackson. But frankly also kind of relieved that I might have an opportunity to get Austin alone.
“That I’ll feel safe,” I said. “When it comes to my security, you, Mimi, and Austin always have had my back. I’m glad that’s going to continue. Thank you, Jackson.”
“Anything for you, Sienna.” He clapped his hands as he stood. “So, are we good here?”
“We’re good,” Harper and Mimi said at once.
“I’m good,” I said.
“Austin?” Jackson said. “Are you good with this?”
“Sure,” he said. “You’re the boss, Jackson. David and I will make it work.” He glanced over at me, and in his eyes I could feel how conflicted he felt. “We’ll keep you safe, Sienna. I can promise you that.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Later that evening—right on time, as usual, because Julia was never late—she showed up at my apartment with a brown paper sack in her hand, which she thrust at me when I opened the door to greet her.
“I got the Goose,” she said as I took the sack from her. “You make the martinis. We’ll drink one in silence. I’ll stare at you in ways that will make you feel uncomfortable. We’ll
have another drink. And then we’ll talk.”
“Why do you want to make me feel uncomfortable?” I asked as she walked past me and moved into the living room.
“I think you already know.”
I did. She’d now had several hours to come to the conclusion that I’d likely kept Austin a secret from her on purpose, which wasn’t the case at all. Naturally I’d planned to tell her everything at some point, but with my life so heavily scheduled, I hadn’t found the necessary time to do so until this morning.
I shut and locked the door and then hurried in behind her.
“Julia, before you get angrier than you already are, you have to understand that all this just recently happened. I only slept with Austin four days ago, for God’s sake! What happened to me yesterday was a nightmare in more ways than you’ll ever know, because being publicly groped was only part of that hellish day. The moment I saw you this morning, I told you as much as I could. If you think I’ve been keeping this from you, I haven’t. I’m still trying to process it myself.”
With folded arms, she turned to look at me. It was so warm outside that she was wearing a pair of white classic cady shorts, a yellow tank top, and a pretty pair of sandals. Her blond hair was held up in a tight chignon to keep it off her neck and shoulders.
“How could you have fallen in love with him so quickly?” she asked.
“I don’t know, but it’s happened—I can tell you that.”
“Maybe it’s just hormones,” she said. “Or the fact that you haven’t been laid since you were with Eric.”
“Well, that’s a bit harsh,” I said. “And unless I’m wrong here, I thought you knew me better than that. I was attracted to Austin the first time I set eyes on him, which we discussed the last time you were here. What you don’t know is what’s happened since.”
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