“For the record, my bed? Not proper. And it has to be said that proper is highly overrated.”
“You and I have disagreed about many things, but that statement is not one of them.”
Other than a nod, Tess didn’t seem inclined to move, so Leo wasn’t going to push it. Holding her felt too good after wanting her so badly for so long. Neither of them spoke, as if simply using their bodies to communicate contentment. He hadn’t experienced it often in his life and savored the feeling now.
They might have dozed, because there was no telling how much time passed before Tess whispered, “Leo? Are you awake?”
“Yeah. You?”
She laughed and rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. “I’ve been thinking.”
“I thought I smelled something burning.”
“Very funny.” She lightly tugged one of his chest hairs.
“Ow.”
“Serves you right.” She sighed then and the expression on her face was thoughtful. “I want to apologize.”
“Why? That was awesome. Perfect.” And he sincerely meant those words.
“I know. It really was.” She didn’t say anything for a few moments, as if choosing her words carefully. “I just want to say that I really misjudged you.”
“What? How?”
“When my grandfather introduced us. The thing is, I’d heard about you, your reputation with women, and figured you were a cocky, arrogant player.”
“A sports jerk like your ex.” When she’d told him about that, he understood where she was coming from. “We’ve been through all this. It’s water under the bridge. There’s no reason to bring it up again.”
“I just need to say this. Since we became partners, I’ve really gotten to know you.”
“And I’ve gotten to know you. It’s all good.”
She looked up and met his gaze. “You’re not an arrogant, cocky player at all. You are conscientious and caring. You’re a really good man.”
“Don’t spread it around,” he teased.
“I don’t have to. Your actions speak louder than words. Working with the kids on the hockey team. Taking a personal interest in a troubled teenager. Being there for me. Talking me through my panic tonight. What would I have done without you?”
“Not a doubt in my mind that you would have moved forward and been just fine.”
“Maybe. But it was fun experiencing the grand reopening of Patrick’s Place with you. It was special because of you.”
“It was special, but not because of me. You’re the heart and soul of this place now,” he said.
As partners went, she was the whole sexy package. Don’t look now but he was successfully mixing business and pleasure with a woman who was as dead set against commitment as he was. How perfect was that? Contentment spilled over into happiness territory.
“I have to tell you something.”
“You just did. And we’re good.”
“No, this is different,” she insisted.
“Okay.” But he looked at her shining eyes and suddenly got a very bad feeling. “What?”
“I’m in love with you, Leo.”
Chapter Fourteen
Leo knew his reaction to Tess’s declaration was going to be bad but that didn’t begin to describe how much worse everything was from what he’d expected. First of all the words I love you almost came out of his mouth, too. Fortunately he stopped just in time. Things between them were pretty damn good, and the last thing he wanted was to screw it up with a responding emotional statement. But she’d put it out there. Now what was he supposed to say?
Why in God’s name had he let her touch him? To feel the baby move. Damn it.
“Leo?” She sat up in the bed and held the sheet up to cover her breasts. “I’m sorry. The words just popped out. I didn’t mean it.”
Really? So she said that to every guy she slept with? He experienced an unexpected and uncomfortable spurt of jealousy at the thought of her with another guy. Good God. This was crazy and he was insane. Except she didn’t sleep around—or so she’d told him. Could he believe her? A woman he thought he knew had lied to him before. He hated that but never more than he did right this minute. Destroying his ability to trust was the worst kind of betrayal.
And he couldn’t think of any good response to Tess’s words. So he simply said, “Don’t worry about it.”
“Can’t help it. You look weird.” She was staring at him. “Let’s just pretend I never said those words.”
“Done.” He smiled at her but it was forced. The worry darkening her eyes told him she wasn’t buying his answer. “Now you look weird.”
“I wish I could take it back.”
Unfortunately he couldn’t unhear the words any more than he could undo getting her pregnant the first time they had sex in this building. He almost smiled remembering what she’d told him then. Saying it back to her now was worth a try.
“It never happened,” he told her.
“Okay.”
“We will never speak of this again.” Her words, but life hadn’t cooperated then, he thought.
Tess nodded but there was a sadness in her expression that ripped his heart out. He needed to get back on solid ground, back to the business, and their partnership was the way to do that. “The grand opening of Patrick’s Place tonight was even better than I had hoped. Pat would be proud of you.”
“Would he?” She was naked under that sheet and her hair was post-sex messy. “I’m not so sure.”
She was making this personal. He couldn’t really blame her. That tendency was hardwired into women. But he couldn’t get sucked in. Trusting unconditionally once before had set him up to be knocked flat. The only thing that got him up again was the vow forged by fire in his soul, to never care that deeply again. And he was on the verge of breaking that vow. If she kept looking at him that way, with her eyes all soft and sexy, he was going to cave.
“It’s late,” he said. “And I have an early meeting tomorrow.”
“Yeah. You should go.”
Leo wasn’t going to wait for her to say it again. He slid out of bed and quickly dressed. She didn’t move and he had the uneasy feeling that if he touched her, she would shatter.
But he couldn’t stop himself from kissing her on the forehead. “I’ll lock the place up on my way out. You get some rest.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
He couldn’t help it but didn’t say that out loud. “Good night, Tess.”
He left before she could respond, urgently needing distance to take a deep breath. Hit the pause button and find a way to protect himself. Words meant nothing unless they were in writing.
* * *
Tess had never in her life regretted having a big mouth more than she did that night when she’d told Leo she loved him. Just because she felt it didn’t mean she had to say the words out loud. It was just that the feeling was so big, she couldn’t hold it back. Unfortunately he had looked as if he’d swallowed a bee and it was stinging all the way down.
And it wasn’t as if it was entirely her fault. Their all business, no pleasure vow had exploded when he had kissed her. The problem was that her announcement about being in love with him had taken things to another level of awful.
The worst part was she hadn’t seen him since that night a week ago. They’d texted, mostly about business. She’d reminded him of her upcoming doctor’s appointment but he claimed he had a meeting. It hurt that he wasn’t even giving her an opportunity to show him she could ignore what she’d said, to repair the damage she’d done to their business relationship.
It was late in more ways than one. The bar was nearing closing time, and Brandon was wiping down and tidying things while a few customers finished up their drinks. The dining area was closed and shut down, with the lights dimmed.
One of the last-call custom
ers was John Alexander, the man who’d noticed she was pregnant and jumped to the correct conclusion that Leo was the father. In the last week, she’d had a lot of time to wonder if the older man’s observations of her romantic feelings for Leo had compelled her to put the words out there. Not that she blamed John. The colossal error in judgment had been hers alone.
But she hadn’t gone out of her way to speak to him tonight, so a case could be made that part of her did hold him responsible, and that wasn’t fair. She was behind the bar and walked over to stand in front of him.
“Hi, John.”
“Hey, Tess. How are you?”
“Good.” It wasn’t a complete lie because in time she would make things good again. She’d prove to Leo that she was trustworthy. “How about you? Doing okay?”
“Oh, you know.” He toyed with the half-empty beer glass. “The missing her never really goes away.”
The “her” he meant was his wife, and that meant he was still in love with her after all this time. Not what Tess wanted to hear. It wouldn’t be that way for her; she wouldn’t have to miss Leo, because he would come around. And what was so wrong with saying she loved him? A lot of people actually wanted to hear those words. But now she knew his story, knew he believed love brought pain and loss. Somehow she would convince him it wouldn’t be that way with her.
She looked at the older man. “Do you wish you’d never fallen in love?”
“No. I wouldn’t trade missing her now for never having loved her. Not in a million years.” He met her gaze and his own was sad, although surprisingly peaceful. “She was the best thing that ever happened to me. She gave me the most precious gift of all. Our children.”
“That’s beautiful.” She blinked at the tears stinging her eyes. Then she felt her baby move and pressed a hand to her abdomen. “Children are a blessing.”
“True enough.” He took a swallow of beer and stood. “It was last call a while ago and I’m sure Brandon wants to close up.”
“Yeah.”
“And you need your rest, young lady.” He pretended to be stern but the twinkle in his eyes gave him away. Then he grew serious again. “Don’t worry, honey. Whatever’s going on with you and Leo will work itself out. Just wait and see. Things will be fine.”
“How did you know there’s something going on?” She shook her head. “I think you’re psychic.”
“Just observant. And only with people I care about.” He smiled fondly. “Good night, Tess.”
“See you soon.”
A little while later everyone was gone, including Brandon. She was about to lock up when a familiar car pulled into the lot and parked outside Patrick’s Place. Leo got out and walked to the front door, which she then opened.
He was literally a sight for sore eyes. As much as she’d told herself not to, she’d shed a few tears over him. And why did he have to look so darn handsome? So masculine. His worn jeans with that white cotton shirt, long sleeves rolled to mid-forearm, made her heart flutter. And she knew how the muscles under those clothes felt to the touch.
She could hardly breathe, but managed to say, “Hi.”
“Sorry to show up so late.”
“No problem.” She hadn’t expected him to show up at all and wanted to say how happy she was. But she didn’t want to compound her last mistake, so she kept the words bottled up. “Come on in.”
He walked past her. “You probably want to get out of here and relax, so I won’t keep you long.”
“Actually I was going to look over today’s receipts. What’s up?”
“A couple of things. I have some papers from the lawyer and I had a meeting today with my accountant about Patrick’s Place.”
“And?” Side by side they walked over to the bar and she sat on one of the stools.
Leo set his briefcase on the chair next to hers, then met her gaze. “The accountant did revenue comparisons.”
“Don’t keep me in suspense. What did he say?”
“We’re up 10 percent over last year, and business has currently increased by a lot—even when he backed out the numbers from the night of the opening.” He smiled but it was surprisingly tense. “The bottom line is better than he’d hoped but he still cautioned that it’s early. No high-fiving just yet.”
She was working in the trenches, so to speak, and knew foot traffic was heavy. But it was a relief to have the numbers confirm her feelings. “That’s fantastic.”
“Yeah.”
And yet his expression didn’t match the sentiment. “So why do you look like someone just used your hockey stick for kindling?”
“For starters, I don’t think a hockey stick is a good way to start a fire. They’re made of fiberglass as a composite with wood, graphite or Kevlar. I’m not sure it would burn.”
She didn’t need to know that. He was procrastinating. What did he not want to tell her? “What’s wrong, Leo?”
“Nothing’s wrong. It’s just... I have papers.”
Probably some rider had kicked in from the partnership papers they’d originally signed. “From the lawyer, you said.”
“Right.” He pulled a manila folder out of his briefcase, set it on the bar and slid it closer to her.
Tess pulled out several long sheets of paper with dense legal paragraphs and glanced at the top—Custody Agreement and Child Support. She went ice-cold. “What is this?”
“I had Annabel draw it up. It spells out a joint-custody arrangement, if I’m the baby’s father. And there’s generous child support specified, too.”
Since she told him he was going to be a father, he’d been okay with waiting until the baby was born to get DNA results and work things out then. Now he’d gone to his attorney to get papers drawn up for her to sign? “All of a sudden you need something carved in stone?”
“It’s my bad. I should have done this right away.”
“But you didn’t. And the only thing that has changed is I told you I love you.”
He shook his head. “This is about protecting the baby.”
“Really? Come on, Leo.”
“There’s no other reason.”
“If you truly believe that, you’re burying your head in the sand.” She refused to look away. “This is about me saying I love you.”
“No—”
“Oh, please. It couldn’t be any more clear unless you put up a barbed-wire fence to keep me out. You think my signing a piece of paper will prevent you from getting your heart broken again.”
“You’re wrong.” His tone was hard and his expression grim.
“Am I?” She knew she wasn’t but he needed to hear this. “Everything was fine and dandy until I had the audacity to tell you how I feel. Now you have a legal document for my signature. What would you think?”
“It’s my goal to protect everyone. To have everything spelled out in black-and-white. If the baby is mine—”
“I’m going to say this one more time. The baby is yours. And if you believe I would keep your child from you, you don’t know me at all. Every child deserves to know their parents. So you just wasted a lot of money on a lawyer and an agreement you really don’t need.”
She slid off the stool and walked around behind the bar, where there were pens for signing credit card receipts. When she found one, she looked him straight in the eye before scratching her signature on the line where indicated.
“There. Just so you know, I signed this because I know you’re afraid. I hope it gives you peace of mind.”
“Tess, I—”
“No. There’s nothing more to say.” She started toward the hall and the stairs leading up to her apartment. Then she stopped. There was one more thing and he wasn’t going to like this either, but how much more paperwork could a lawyer draw up to protect him? She turned back and said, “I’m not her, Leo. I’m not going to lie and cheat. I think you know that. And
you’re a fool if you walk away from what we have together. But I think you know that, too—”
Emotion choked off her words and she turned away to hurry upstairs. Every time he saw her cry she ended up in his arms. He made it clear he couldn’t love her. She could read between the lines of that damn legal agreement. So there was no way she would let him see her cry. Not again.
* * *
When Tess signed that stupid agreement with tears glistening in her eyes, Leo knew he’d royally screwed up. It wasn’t the tears that had convinced him, but the way he wanted to kick himself into next year for hurting her. Then he had ached to hold her and make it better, but she had walked away before he could.
He couldn’t blame her. She’d nailed it when she accused him of being afraid. He wanted nothing to do with love, but he cared about her. There was no reason to put a label on it. Thinking about it had kept him awake a lot for the better part of last week, and he’d come to the conclusion that she was right about everything. He didn’t believe she would lie and cheat. For several days he’d been trying to tell her that, but she was giving him the cold shoulder every time he came into Patrick’s Place.
Now he was here to try again. He parked in the lot and walked inside, then looked around. Finally he spotted her behind the bar, drawing a beer. It was happy hour but he wasn’t feeling especially happy. She was smiling when she set the frosty glass on a napkin in front of a customer. Leo really liked her smile and missed it aimed in his direction.
“‘Winners never quit. Quitters never win,’” he muttered to himself as he headed in her direction.
He sat down at her end of the bar. Brandon was on the far side, pouring liquor into a shot glass for a cocktail, then adding a lot of olives. He delivered the drink to a very attractive twentysomething blonde who smiled and flirted with the young man. Being a bartender had its perks. Being a bar owner who was getting the cold shoulder from his partner did not. It was time to make things right between them.
Tess had her back to him, washing glasses and wiping down counters. When she turned, he noticed that the pregnancy was really showing. There was no way she could conceal it now. And she looked more beautiful than he’d ever seen her. Glowing even.
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