by Lisa Oliver
Seth snorted. Ra decided to try a different tact. “Using sex as a means of shutting me up and stopping me thinking about important matters such as your safety is underhanded.”
“Oh.” Ra didn’t like the tone of that single syllable one bit. “So, are you saying you haven’t liked the sex we’ve been having? Did you touch me under duress, did you feel forced in any way?”
Ra frowned. “No, of course not. I want you all the time and I loved every minute of it.”
“So, what’s the problem?” Seth arched an eyebrow and damn, that look was sexy too.
“Everything,” Ra shouted, unsure when exactly he’d lost control of the conversation, but knowing he had. “On Thursday I asked who your attackers were and you kissed me. Friday, I asked if someone had got in touch regarding the town meeting. I got a blowjob. Last night, I knew something was bothering you and yet before I had a chance to say a word I had my mouth filled with steak, followed by your cock. Every time I ask you if you’re okay, you pull out the lube.”
“You poor, poor tiger,” Seth examined his fingernails. “Must be terrible to have such an oversexed mate.”
“No. Damn it, that’s not it and you know it.”
Seth considered him, his head to one side. “I know, you’re right and for your information, I’d do it again. You see,” he said, climbing off the bed, and sauntering towards Ra. “I’m a rabbit, sorry, half rabbit. Tiny, haven’t got a fighting bone in my body, too scared most times to confront an empty paper bag. But, I do have the need to protect my mate, just as much as you want to protect me. That’s inherent in all mates.”
“Yeah,” the closer Seth got, the more Ra hoped they were getting to the end of the script. His cock was looking forward to an explosive ending.
“What weapons have I got?” Seth stopped about a foot away from him and Ra’s cock twitched trying to get closer but was thwarted by his pants. “I can’t tie you down, lock you up, fight your battles or stop your tiger from rampaging through the herd. But I need you close and out of trouble; our babies will need you, so I used the only tactics I had at my disposal. My only other option would be to weep all over you, clinging, begging you to never leave my side. I’ve got more respect for me and you to do that. I thought my preferred option was more fun for both of us.”
“It was. It is.”
“Not to mention, as an insecure rabbit swamped with hormones I don’t understand, our closeness means a lot to me. Makes both halves of me feel happy and safe. Wanted. Yes, it makes me feel wanted, even cherished sometimes and for some reason, I have a strong need for that right now.”
Ra frowned. They were mated. Seth wore his bite on his neck. Am I missing something?
“But I can see I was wrong, and for what it’s worth, I apologize. Not for wanting to keep you safe, but for the methods I used. After all, how can you ever be sure I want your body for real, if you think I use sex to keep things from you?” His hand reached out and Ra waited, longing for his mate’s touch. But Seth gripped the door handle instead. “Excuse me, please, I’m going to the kitchen.”
Ra shuffled away from the door, wondering where the hell he’d gone wrong. Seth was upset, he could smell it and his tiger fidgeted under his skin.
“Are you okay?” He asked cautiously.
“Yes,” and this time Ra knew he was lying and he knew that Seth knew he knew he was lying. “I just have some things to think about. In all my desire to keep you safe, I never thought it would damage the trust between us. That was my mistake and I have to think about how to fix it. After all, you won’t want to be with someone you don’t trust.”
“That’s not it at all,” Ra fisted his hands in frustration. “Just tell me you won’t do it again.”
“I can’t promise you that,” Seth said quietly as he opened the door. “You see, my only wish is to see you safe and happy. And those times I shut you up or diverted your mind to happier matters, I didn’t consciously think I was using sex as a tool; in my head, I was making love to the father of my children because I needed that connection with my mate. I will always need it; it’s the nature of my animal.”
“And that’s okay,” Ra reached out his hand, but Seth moved away. He let his arm drop uselessly to his side.
“If my need was okay, you wouldn’t have felt the need to reprimand me. I’ve had a god-awful day. Mayor Quincy labeling me an outcast in front of everyone, my mom having a go at me in Cam’s. I had to fight for Gareth’s right to stay in Arrowtown even though it will terrify me if I see him in the street. But I knew it was the right thing to do. All I wanted when we got home was to be close to my mate.”
Ra was horrified to see tears in Seth’s eyes. “And now you’re cross with me as well. I’m not sorry I kept you safe. I’m not going to apologize for using my body to get close to you. It’s not as though you ever say anything romantic and I don’t expect you to. But there’s nothing stopping me from saying what’s in my heart. I love you, you dumb schmuck, now leave me the hell alone.”
Seth stormed out the door, slamming it hard behind him. Blowing out a long breath, Ra thumped his cock which took that moment to complain his happy ending had walked out the door. He wandered over to sit on the bed, picking up his bright yellow pillow and holding it close. He could still smell Seth’s delicious scent mingled with the sex they’d had the night before.
I had a right to say my piece, didn’t I? Yeah, he was fairly confident being lied to, even by omission wasn’t a healthy sign in a relationship. Seth told him off, albeit gently, when he’d locked himself in his workshop for four days. Ra didn’t get upset about that because Seth was right.
He was also touching you, holding you and letting you know without words he still cared about you. Ra nodded at the recollection. Seth was good like that.
But tonight, you stood at the door and looked badass, even after Seth asked you for a cuddle. You wanted to stand firm.
Yeah, Ra nodded again. I did. I had to. If I didn’t that rabbit would be all over me like bark on a tree. He’s sex on a stick and I can’t ever say no to the temptations of his body.
Is that his fault?
Wait – who is this? Ra looked around the room but he was completely alone.
I’m your conscience and you just hurt your pregnant wee mate. But, he said you were right and that he loved you. That has to make you feel good.
Sitting alone, with only pillows for company, Ra wasn’t sure that “good” was the right word to use. Confused was probably a better one.
Chapter Twenty-One
“You look like shit when you’ve been crying.” Seth turned from where he was looking out over the garden to see Brutus standing next to him, a basket of chicken wings in his hands.
“Aren’t you supposed to be nice to someone who’s been crying?” Seth asked, taking the basket offered. “Usually, when someone is crying it’s because they are upset about something.”
“That’s what the chicken wings are for. They can make anyone feel better.” Brutus settled himself into the porch swing which groaned under his weight. Ra’s clubhouse was huge, and while most of the land at the front and sides of the house was covered in gravel for the bikes and cars, there was a quaint garden round the back that Seth was drawn to. The grass was long and the raised beds were choked with weeds. But cleaned up it would be a safe, quiet place for the baby to play.
“We all know what you did and why you did it,” Brutus continued and Seth wondered if anything was ever private in the house with shifter hearing. “We’ve got no beef with you. Face it, Ra is a great guy. Tough, mean as hell fighter, looks after his friends. He’s talented as an artist and he makes a shit ton of money.”
“He’s a catch,” Seth said dryly, wondering where Brutus was going with all of this. Seth was well aware of how wonderful his mate was. It’s why he felt sick with guilt.
“But I have to admit, even though he’s one of my oldest friends, he’s a butthead when it comes to romance. That guy doesn’t think with anything b
ut his dick when he’s around someone he fancies.”
Seth turned from the rail he was leaning on and crossed his arms. “Happened a lot, has it? Ra’s little fancies, or big ones, or whatever?”
Brutus laughed. “Don’t get jealous, that look doesn’t suit you either. Ra is well over a hundred and fifty years old. You didn’t think he was going to spend all that time keeping himself pure for his mate?”
Glaring, Seth pursed his lips. “It’s not something I like to think about and when you find your mate, you’ll understand why,” he said tersely.
Holding up his hands, Brutus said, “I’m not spouting specifics. Those guys are long gone. Ra’s been footloose and fancy-free for at least three years. My point is, Ra isn’t good at it.”
“Good at what?” It can hardly be sex, the man’s a machine.
“Romance.” Brutus threw his head back and roared with laughter. “I remember this one time…” Seth glared at him and Brutus stopped laughing immediately. “Right, well let’s just say that Ra ended up covered in grease and spitting feathers.”
“Actual feathers?”
Brutus nodded. Seth was curious, but he wasn’t allowed to shift and hearing about Ra’s exploits with other men was not a calming exercise.
“The thing is,” Brutus looked around as if worried someone was listening. “Ra’s a bit lazy. It’s a cat thing and I’m not saying all cat shifters are lazy, but being lions Liam and Lucien have similar problems. They expect women to do all the work. It’s the way they’re raised.”
“I…er…” Seth wasn’t sure what to say to that. Admittedly, Ra was happy to stay in bed all day if he was allowed, but he worked hard at his art when he had frustrations to pound out on something and Ra spent two weeks looking for him before they met.
“Romance requires little gestures, right?” Seth nodded.
“Those gestures require thought, planning and action. Ra’s not good at that. And then there’s the mush angle.”
Seth shook his head. Brutus seemed to be speaking in a foreign language. “Mush angle?”
“Yeah, you know, all those sappy things. Lovey-dovey sentiments, complimenting a person on their looks. All those words people in love hope to hear from their partners.”
“I don’t think Ra knows what they are.”
“He doesn’t and it’s not as though we didn’t try to help him,” Brutus slapped his knee and then pointed at Seth. “When we found out he had a mate, Mal downloaded all his romance books from his Kindle and loaned them to Ra. We didn’t want him to fuck things up and we knew he would. Good guy or not, Ra can be an idiot about matters of the heart.”
“Did he read them?” Maybe that’s why Ra didn’t mind listening to his story although Seth included “mush” in his books.
“Well, I’m not sure, but can you see what I’m saying?”
“Don’t expect Ra to be affectionate and sappy with me because he’s not good at it?”
“Exactly, not like you are. You just have to accept him the way he is. Now you need to eat up because you have those babies to look after and while you’re eating you can tell me, what happened to Beau after he and his mate did the deed. You and Ra started getting hot and heavy after that bit and I didn’t want to listen to that.”
Seth dutifully picked up another chicken wing – they were delicious, but he was trying to work out what Brutus was talking about. Then it hit him, the night he read his story. He blushed, pleased the porch light was dim enough to hide it. Brutus must have been plastered with his ear to the bedroom door when he was reading to Ra. He cleared his throat. It was nice someone wanted to know how the story ended. “Okay, Beau was furious, as you can imagine….”
*****
Ra lifted his head when there was a knock at the door. Seth wouldn’t knock. “Who is it?”
The door opened and Rocky’s head appeared. He dangled a six-pack in front of him. “Thought you might like a drink and company.”
“You guys know I fucked up again? You might as well come in.”
Mal followed Rocky into the room, carrying another six pack and they sat on either side of Ra. “Yep, we’re giving you credit, though. You had every right to tell Seth off for keeping things from you, even though we knew he did it with the best of intentions.” Mal handed Ra one of his bottles and Ra let go of his pillow long enough to open it.
“So, where did I go wrong?” He asked, taking a long swallow from the bottle. “Seth was meant to apologize and we should be snuggled up in bed by now.”
“You had it all worked out in your head, didn’t you?” Rocky laughed.
Ra huffed. “I prepared myself mentally for what I knew would be a difficult conversation, but I felt strongly enough about the issue that I had to say something.”
“And Seth didn’t play his part.” Rocky shook his head. “Ra, you can’t script these things. You can’t work out long conversations in your head….”
“It was only meant to be a short conversation.” Ra sulked in his bottle.
“Long or short, it doesn’t matter,” Rocky was still laughing. “You can’t know what the other person is going to say, or how they will react to the things you’ve said. We’ve told you this before.”
“Well, how would you have handled it, smartass?” Ra snapped. “I’m the one tiptoeing through a mating minefield. Seth was crying when he left. He wasn’t meant to cry.”
“We know,” Mal patted Ra’s knee. “Brutus is out on the back porch with him. He took chicken wings.”
“I haven’t even had dinner.” Ra finished his bottle and held out his hand for another one.
“Forget about your dinner, for now, Brutus made enough for all of us,” Rocky said. “Now think, think really hard. How would one of the characters in those romance novels we loaned you deal with difficult conversations?”
Ra scratched his nose, took a swig from the bottle and eyed the ceiling.
“Ra,” Mal’s hand on his knee turned into a thump. “You did read those books, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” Ra nodded emphatically. He peered into his bottle. Empty. Putting the bottle on the floor, he grabbed the next one Rocky offered him.
“And?”
Ra looked at the ceiling again. “They were hot and really good. There was a lot of sex in them. In fact, I’d say most times their problems were solved by having sex.”
This time he received a slap on both arms. “You just skipped to the sex scenes, didn’t you?” Rocky said with a glare.
Mal was even more upset. “I gave you those books for a reason. We all know your dick knows what it’s doing, but you were supposed to read the dialogue and the bits in between the sex scenes.”
“But they were just talking,” Ra protested. “It’s not like anything exciting was happening.” Sheesh. If those books had a bit of action in them, then maybe he’d have paid attention. He was a guns blazing, bikes roaring kind of guy.
“Tell me, when you found Seth, were you nice to him?” Rocky asked. “Or did you wave your dick and hope he’d fall at your feet?”
“There might have been some dick waving involved,” Ra said, blushing at the memory. “But of course, I was nice to him. I took him a picnic and told him he was beautiful and perfect for me. And then we got mated after the protest, you remember.”
“Yes, we both remember,” Mal said. “We could still smell the sex when we got home from Cam’s, but what I want to know is what lovely things have you said to Seth, in private since you mated. What little things have you done to show him how much you love and care for him?”
“He told me he loved me then he told me to leave him alone,” Ra grumbled, reaching for another bottle. He should probably eat something, but he was starting to feel a happy buzz.
“We heard, now focus,” Rocky took a swig from his own bottle. “Romantic gestures. What have you done for Seth after you claimed him?”
Ra was getting a crick in his neck from studying the ceiling. He took to checking out the carpet instead. “I stood
up for him at the meeting. I said nice things when he read me his story.”
Mal grabbed one of the unopened bottles, opening and taking a deep swig.
“It’s not as though I’ve had much of a chance to say or do anything,” Ra felt there was an implied criticism in Mal’s actions and had to respond. “It’s just been sex, sex, sex and that’s all, well mostly, Seth’s fault.”
“Yeah, we’ve could hear you griping about it from the kitchen. Oh, you’re so tight, yeah, ride me, babe. That feels so good.” Rocky laughed. “But seriously, what do you say when the sex is over and you’re both lolling together wallowing in the afterglow?”
“I’m meant to talk after having sex? Are you guys demented?” Ra looked first at Rocky and then Mal. “Do you know how rugged rabbit sex is? I can barely keep up.” He looked around the room although there was no one else there. “Seriously, I know he’s only a little guy, but he’s got more staying power than me. He can come three times with one fuck and still look for more,” he whispered. “You expect me to talk? When I’m finished, I can’t keep my eyes open. I just want to sleep.”
Mal sighed. “Ra, Ra, Ra, you silly, silly tiger. When were you planning on telling him you loved him, if not in that post-coital afterglow?”
“I know you’re not meant to when you’re actually doing the deed because that doesn’t count, right?” Oh, another fresh bottle. This relationship chat is going well. At least Ra thought it was. The empty bottles at his feet suggested a good time.
“That’s right.” Rocky’s eyes were looking a little blurry, or maybe it was his. Ra wasn’t sure. “Yelling out I love you in the middle of fucking is bad form. It’s your dick talking not your heart.”
“But,” Mal waved his bottle for emphasis. “Saying it afterward when you are sharing a cuddle is really sweet.”
Ra grabbed yet another bottle and added his empty to the pile on the floor. “You tell me,” he said, taking a swig and coughing when it went down the wrong way. “You tell me, what guy in the history of guys fucking, if he’s had a fuck worth having, has the brain cells left to say something sweet afterward? You tell me. Because I’ll tell you once you’ve gone ten rounds with Seth, you’ve got no brains left. They’re gone, they’re gone, languishing in the spunk left in his tight little ass.” He sighed. Seth had the perfect ass.