I closed my eyes. I opened my mouth to say, “all I need is you,” but immediately I knew that wasn’t true. As much as we wanted to, Will and I couldn’t live in a bubble for the rest of our lives. It was a tempting thought—find another lake house, sky-high apartment, bungalow tucked in the hills, and build a fortress around it so no one could bother us again.
But then what? Stay in a cage of our own making? The future in that direction seemed blurry and unclear, probably because there was nowhere to go.
If I looked the other way, though, I saw a mass of possibilities. A house, maybe on the lake or somewhere like it, in a community where we could learn to trust people, be a part of something bigger than ourselves. Raise our children.
The thought made my breath come up short, particularly given the previous conversation we’d had. I had never really thought about having children before that night, but lately I’d found myself imagining those three curly-haired kids all the time.
I had grown up the child of someone who so clearly resented me for existing. What did I know about being a good mother? And yet…when I looked at the man next to me, I knew that I wanted everything with him that was possible. I wanted a home. I wanted a family. I wanted a real future, and not just one that required me to hide away in luxury cages and play shell games with multiple cars.
But…did he? Would he? Ever?
I opened my mouth to ask him, but for some reason, cowered back.
“Where are we?” I asked, gesturing toward the lighthouse atop the cliffs overhead. “This is so private. I didn’t realize there were any parts of LA where there were no…”
“People?” Will chuckled, then caught my hand and pulled it over his chest. He had taken his shirt off to enjoy the sunshine, and I luxuriated in the warmth of his skin, not to mention the view it provided.
“Well…yeah.”
He smiled. “That’s Palos Verdes. Actually, plenty of people live there, on the other side. The cliffs make it harder for spies. I used to know a lot of people who lived in that area, though, because of the relative privacy.”
I hated the cynicism in his voice. When I looked closely, I could actually see the edges of a few houses that peeked over, but they weren’t as smashed together as other parts of LA.
“Will?” I asked as he drifted a hand lazily over my bare shoulders. His breaths were starting to grow long. I wondered if he was close to sleep.
“What’s that, Lil?”
I swallowed. No, I couldn’t let this go. “We need to decide. What we’re going to do, I mean. After the shoot.”
Underneath my cheek blew a heavy sigh. Will’s hand burrowed into my hair, but instead of letting him pull me close, instead I sat up so I could look down at him.
“They’re planning to release in May,” he said quietly. “Which means starting in April, I’ll have to start heavy promotion, and that won’t end until close to July, maybe later depending on the international premieres.”
The dread in his eyes hurt my heart.
“After that…” He pushed a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Get away. Find someplace they can’t bother us anymore. Back to the lake or…or somewhere else.”
I watched him for a long time. There wasn’t any kind of joy in his suggestion. No hope.
But then another thought occurred to me.
“And so what if they do?” I asked as I rolled over him. “Find us, I mean.”
Will blinked as I sat up. One blond brow arched delicately. “You don’t know what you’re saying, Lil.”
I pressed a kiss to his neck, trailing down lightly over his Adam’s apple, over the pulse that started to thump a little harder. “What do we have to hide?”
Will didn’t reply as I sat back up, and he looked around. We were the only boat in the harbor, and there was no one on the cliffs or down by the sand. For miles, we were the only people in sight. But even if we weren’t, I didn’t want to live my life on the run, like a pair of criminals.
Slowly, I reached down, took the hem of my t-shirt, and pulled it over my head, maintaining eye contact almost the entire time. Will watched, transfixed, as I reached behind me and unhooked my bra.
His green eyes widened. “Lil…”
“There’s no one here, babe.”
My hair fell over my shoulders, and a few strands picked up lightly in the wind. When Will looked at me like this, I didn’t care where I was. When he looked at me like this, I could do anything.
Will, however, remained frozen except for one particular part of him that had hardened between my legs. Gently, I gyrated my hips over it. Will hissed.
“You’re playing with fire, there, Lily pad,” he said as his eyes darkened, though his hands had already started to slide up my thighs.
I pulled the straps down my shoulders, one at a time.
I let the garment drop, baring myself completely in the open air. Will didn’t even blink, staring at my breasts like he had never seen them before. Slowly, very slowly, he released a long, restrained breath through his nose. The fingers on my thighs tightened.
I leaned down, hovering so that my nipples grazed his chest, making both our breaths come up short.
“Against your shack,” I whispered. “Your deck. Moon Rock. The coat closet at the premiere party…I could go on, Baker.”
Will licked his lips. “Your point?”
“You have a thing for public places—haven’t you noticed.” I drifted my mouth over his. “I think you want to live your life in the open. I don’t think you want to hide at all.”
He sucked in a breath, but didn’t move as I continued to play my body over his.
“You want me to stop?” I asked, my voice huskier than normal.
A muscle in Will’s jaw ticked. “No,” he whispered.
Then he wrapped a big palm around my neck and tugged me down for a kiss. But unlike the ones I had dusted over his neck and shoulder, this one showed no clemency. Will’s mouth was insistent. Free.
“More?” he whispered after he finally released me. His fingers were now tangled in the hair above my nape. Our lips hovered again.
I hummed. “Yes. Do you?”
In answer, I was flipped onto my back, then yanked up onto Will’s thighs so that we were sitting up, face to face once more. With a solid grip on my legs, Will stood up, walking me over to the cabin entrance despite the rocking of the boat.
“Here comes the caveman,” I teased as he wobbled us down the stairs.
“Hush,” ordered Will before giving another voracious kiss that silenced my words. Two more seconds, and I was tossed summarily onto a large bed that took up most of the cabin.
“Ahh!” I shrieked as I hit the pillows.
“I said hush.” His words snapped, but the boyish grin dancing across his features sang a different tune. “And take off your shorts.”
I obeyed while Will hurriedly stripped off his own clothes. The second they were off, everything of mine was ripped away and replaced with six feet, three inches of man between my thighs. Will buried his face between them like he was starved, sucking, licking, nipping. His tongue found my clit unerringly, and I jerked against him, threading my fingers into his hair to urge him on.
“Oh!” I shouted as two fingers slipped inside me.
But Will didn’t quiet me again, with kisses or anything else. Out here, on the open water, we could be as loud as we liked.
“WILL!” His name burst from my chest like a siren while an orgasm seethed through me, shaking me from the tip of my toes to the ends of my hair. My hands gripped his scalp, urging him on, and on until it became too much to bear. “Will…” I whimpered his name again as the last of it coursed through me. An echo.
And at last, he lifted his head, then pressed kisses and licks up my stomach, under my breasts, pausing briefly to suckle each tender nipple, before his cock found me aching for him.
He pushed in slightly, giving me a moment to adjust to his size. My eyes bulged. It didn’t matter how many times we did th
is—he always took some getting used to, a few breaths for my body to mold to his shape all over again.
“Is this what you wanted?” he asked as he pushed in another inch or two. “Up there, teasing me like that?”
I strained slightly against his size. But after a few more seconds, I was able to accommodate him again.
His hand drifted over my body, fingers tickling, tugging my nipples, taking a light grip around my neck, then drifting up to slip a thumb into my mouth.
“Suck,” Will ordered as he sank in deeper, eyes closing when he sheathed himself completely in my warm depths.
I hummed around his finger, then sucked obediently as he began to move.
“Mmmmmmm.” His hum was an echo of mine, the two of us harmonizing on the same plane of delight, ecstasy. Homecoming.
He pulled his thumb out of my mouth with a light pop, then slid his arm under my back and lifted me, weightlessly, so that I was balanced on his thighs.
“This is all that matters,” he whispered as we began to rock together. “Us, Lil. You and me. That’s it. That’s all.”
I knew it wasn’t true. I knew that there were others we needed to think about. His relationship with his mother. My relationship with mine. Friends. Family. Jobs. Our lives.
But when we were together, when our bodies met and made such incredible music together, it was easy to block out all the noise that threatened to drown us out.
The delicious pressure between us continued to build, vibrating through me, through him, as we ground into one another, trying to get closer, closer, but never able to get enough.
“Fuck, Lily,” Will hissed as my teeth found his shoulder. His hand tried to slip between us, but I batted it away. The friction between our bodies was enough.
“It’s too much,” I moaned as the hand on my hip forced me to take him even deeper.
“It’s never enough,” he gritted out as he slapped his palm against the wall behind him, his other hand placing an iron grip on my hip to keep me still as he drove into me from below. “You’ll take it because it’s never enough, Maggie. Do you hear me? It’s never enough with us.”
“YES!” I screamed, as a second orgasm tore through me. “Oh God, yes, I hear you!”
Will gave a loud, animal yell as I squeezed around him. “FUCK!” he shouted, his deep voice reverberating off the walls. “Oh, Jesus, Lily!”
“Will!”
We fell apart together, diving into each other’s bodies like we were diving into the sea—but instead of cold water, we were a refuge of warmth. Will, sweaty and trembling, shook as he finally released all the worries and fears he carried on a daily basis. And I took them all and let them float, lost in a cloud of ecstasy, but also in the knowledge of how much of an anchor this man had become in my life. A life that, before him, had been filled with nothing but questions.
“Do you know?” he asked some time later, as we came down from our mutual highs and the boat slowly rocked us into a hazy dream. “I’m not sure I care.”
“Hmm?” Sleepily, I pushed a lock of hair off my forehead, but didn’t move. “What about?”
“I don’t care where we go. What we do.” He nuzzled against my hair, stroking my shoulder lightly as he inhaled. “I don’t care where I am so long as I’m with you.”
The words were simple, even a bit clichéd. But Will had never been one for flowery statements or poetry. His words were true, clean, and clear, and I knew he meant them.
A cloud lifted as they sank into my soul. The world outside this small room, this small bed, didn’t seem so scary. Instead, I could feel it calling to us, expansive and free.
And yet, even as we drifted, I still had this terrible feeling that maybe this afternoon, its idyllic peace, was an illusion. That maybe the freedom I felt wasn’t real after all. Maybe we were just in the eye of the storm.
23
After a quick catnap, we sailed back to the marina, where Will skillfully berthed (or so he said when he corrected my jargon). But both of us were quiet on the sail back, like we knew that there was something coming. A haze of smoke had settled around LA over the last few days from the end-of-summer wildfires up north. They weren’t close, but you always felt the threat.
“So, I was thinking,” Will said as he got the boat in order. “I should invite my mom to the wrap party.”
I arched a brow in surprise. “Oh?”
In the last two months, Tricia Owens-Baker hadn’t been allowed anywhere near production in order to respect the sensitivity of Will as an artist. It was one of the few demands that Beauregard had yielded on—partly, I expected, because of pressure from the director. In the end, getting a good performance from their star, and thus making more money, was more important than Max del Conte’s sadistic games. And two months ago, Will had been so adamant about keeping her off set. This was definitely an about-face.
Will nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it…I think I need to make peace.” He finished tying the rope onto the dock. “We probably won’t ever have the greatest relationship, but I can’t avoid her forever, right? It’s been four years.”
I considered while we walked. My mom and I weren’t the greatest example of a mother-child relationship. All I knew of Tricia Owens-Baker was that she was the kind of woman who would separate a small boy from his father in order to make money. And that she was the kind of mother who would slap her son across the face after not seeing him for four years. So, no, I definitely wasn’t inclined to like Tricia Owens-Baker at all.
But if Will could be magnanimous, then I supposed I could try. For his sake.
“I think that’s nice,” I said finally. “And I guess I should probably tell you something too.”
Will slung a long arm around my neck, tucking me into his side. “What’s up, buttercup?”
I didn’t laugh. “Um…today…something happened when you were on set, doing your, um, sex scene with Amelia.”
The thought erased all the good vibes we’d developed that afternoon. I’d spent the last few hours pretending the incidents with Theo and Amelia hadn’t happened. Putting out that fire in the back of my mind. Keeping it far from Will’s and my rare moment of peace and solitude.
But just like that, there was smoke on the horizon again.
Will stopped and turned to me. “Maggie, it wasn’t a sex scene. Is that what she told you? I swear to God, that little—”
“She didn’t tell me anything,” I said. “It was…I overheard something on the audio headphones at base camp.”
Will frowned. “What did you hear? Because the scene was about two minutes long. We had to be in bed together, but it was thirty seconds of dialogue, a fake kiss, and then I get up and leave. That was it.” He sneered. “Can you believe they make us wear full body makeup for that shit?”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to think about him in bed with Amelia no matter how briefly. “That’s—that’s not the point,” I said. “Anyway, she was being catty, but it picked up on the mic, and it pissed me off. Talking about how easy it used to be to get you into b-bed or whatever. B-back then.”
My lower lip began to quiver before I could stop it. Dammit. I knew that wasn’t Will anymore. I knew that wasn’t my Will, at least. But it didn’t make the idea hurt any less.
“Lil. Lily pad.”
I looked up, unable to keep my eyes from tearing.
Will cupped my face with both hands. “Baby. You know she’s full of shit, right?”
“I…sure. I know. But back then…is it true, the stories about how wild you were?”
Will’s shoulders deflated. “Lil, I told you what kind of person I was before. I was empty, looking for the next high that could help me ignore my meaningless fucking life. You…you do a lot of stupid things when you’re high out of your mind, babe.”
I nodded minutely, but a tear started to fall nonetheless. So it was true, and this was his way of telling me. That the pictures of him stumbling out of nightclubs, about all his wild nights…none of them h
ad been the product of media manipulation.
Would he ever miss that? Was there a part of him that wanted that release again?
Will leaned down and kissed the tear away. “You,” he said. “That’s all I want, Lil. Just you.”
I swallowed and accepted a second kiss he offered. “I know,” I said. “But I…I really hate it when she talks about you like that. Like, I don’t know. You still belong to her. It makes me want to…”
“Want to what?”
A blond brow rose, and a dimple appeared in Will’s left cheek. The bastard, he was amused by this.
“It makes me want to kick her bony ass,” I said clearly. “And then it makes me want to trap you in your trailer so you don’t forget who you do belong to.”
By the time I was done speaking, I was practically shaking. And when I turned back to Will, he had his arms crossed over his chest, making his forearms and biceps flex distractingly.
“Good,” he said.
I gaped. “Good?”
He grabbed my chin. “Yeah. Good. Because now you know how I felt every time I had to watch Lucas stare at your ass twenty times a day. And you know how I feel every time I think about what that piece of shit Theo del Conte did to you.” He stamped a quick, harsh kiss on my lips. “It’s a violent thing, love. It’s sharp as a fucking razor and can rip your heart to shreds.”
His grip on my chin squeezed a little harder, and for a few seconds, he looked me over the same way you might look at a snake or some other kind of predator. One that you thought might kill you. But in the end, when our eyes met again, his softened, and he released me.
“What I feel for you, baby…sometimes I think it’s not natural. Because when you look at me, it’s like you see inside, deep down, in the places no one else can reach.” He shook his head, like the very idea was impossible. “And you know, if my pain is yours, Lil, then your pain is mine. That’s how it works.”
He took my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles.
“I know,” I said softly. Then, with more conviction: “I know.”
Will looked at me for a bit longer. “Yeah,” he said finally. “I know you do.” He exhaled, like some invisible weight had been lifted.
Indiscreet (The Discreet Duet Book 2) Page 24