‘Oh. Um … thank you. But I’ll just have a Coke, then, please. I did drink most of the wine before I got clumsy with it, but who knows what I’d do if I had another one!’
He raised his eyebrows, grinning, and I suddenly realised what I’d said, and blushed scarlet. Seeing me looking so embarrassed, Tom then dropped his eyes, going a bit pink himself, and we both stood there for a minute coughing awkwardly.
‘A Coke, then,’ he said finally, heading off to the bar.
‘Thank you,’ I said. As I watched him walking away I felt the embarrassing moment pass, and managed a little smile to myself. I didn’t need to feel uncomfortable around him. He wasn’t Nick. He was just a nice guy, a little bit shy and awkward like me. When he came back with the drinks we sat together and chatted about Prudence, about his son and the plans for the Christmas market. We left together and walked the first part of the way home before parting company to go our separate ways. I turned back as I crossed the road, to see him looking back too, giving me a little wave. I laughed to myself. He was sweet. I was pleased we were becoming friends. And even more pleased that he was nothing, whatsoever, like Nick.
November continued to be cold and damp. It was probably my least favourite month in Pennycombe Bay, the bright autumnal colours of September and October feeling like a distant memory as the days shortened and darkened, as the ground in Penny Woods became thick and squelchy with mud, and the sea took on its steely grey winter look. But I wrapped up warmly for my walks with Prudence and we were cheerful enough, now that things were happier at home with Ruth and my Wednesdays were full of purpose and enjoyment. By the beginning of December, Prudence and I had done three of our read2dogs sessions, and I was getting used to splitting my day off between the children’s ward of the hospital and the young readers of Pennycombe Bay Primary. I’d always been an animal lover but hadn’t realised until now, how much I would enjoy the company of young children too. At the school, Jacob Sanders had become a secret favourite of mine. The little boy with his quiet, solemn manner and the occasional reward of his sweet, shy smile tugged at my heartstrings and made me wish his school life could be more relaxed and fun. After my third session at the school, I chatted for a while to Mrs Armstrong about the progress we were making with some of the children, so I was a little later than usual leaving the school. Some of the parents were already gathering outside the gates, and to my surprise and pleasure, Tom was among them, holding a cat basket.
‘Hello!’ I said. ‘I presume this is Coco.’
‘Yes. She’s got an appointment at the vet’s, just her routine check-up and booster jab. Jacob likes to come and help to hold her, so I always try to time it for just after school.’ He bent down to pat Prudence. ‘I presume you’ve been doing your reading session?’
‘Yes. Jacob did really well today, Tom. He read to us while the other three kids in his group were still in the room, instead of refusing to start until he was on his own. It was a huge step forward.’
‘Oh, wow, that’s great. He looks forward to Wednesdays so much. And here he comes! Hello, son. Look who we’ve got here – your friend Prudence!’
Jacob, beaming with pleasure, crouched down to put his arms around her, and then noticed Coco in her basket.
‘Are we going to the vet’s, Daddy? Can Jess and Prudence come?’
Tom looked at me uncertainly. ‘I expect you’re busy?’
‘Not really.’ The vet’s was only just round the corner from the school. I hesitated for just a couple of seconds. Well, there was no harm in being friendly, was there? ‘OK, I’ll walk round with you, if you’re sure.’
We set off together, chatting casually about Coco and Prudence, about the vet’s, about the weather and the forthcoming Christmas market. I was astonished, as we went into the vet’s waiting room, to realise how much I was enjoying the conversation; how easy I was finding it to talk to Tom, with none of the awkwardness I’d felt that time in the shop with Jim listening. Prudence and I waited while Tom and Jacob took Coco in for her appointment, and – still chatting away about everything and nothing – we walked slowly back round the corner to the school, as Tom had parked his car nearby.
‘I don’t normally drive to the school,’ he explained, ‘but Coco’s a bit too heavy to carry all the way here and back.’
‘Yes, I’m sure!’ I laughed. ‘And cats hate being in their baskets anyway, don’t they. She’ll be pleased to get home so you can set her free. Well, I won’t keep you.’
‘Can we give you a lift anywhere …?’
‘Oh! No, thanks all the same, Tom. Pru needs a proper walk after sitting still in the classroom this afternoon.’
‘Of course.’ He smiled as Jacob gave Prudence another stroke. ‘Well, I’ll see you again soon, then, Jess, I hope?’
‘Yes.’ I smiled back. ‘I hope so too.’
For a moment he seemed to hesitate, and then, seeming to take a deep breath, and clearing his throat first, he went on in a rush:
‘Actually, Jess, I was wondering if you’d like to come to the school play.’
‘Oh.’ I felt my eyes widen with surprise. ‘When is it? Is Jacob in it?’
‘Yes!’ Jacob jumped up at once from stroking Pru, his cheeks flushing with excitement. ‘I’ve got to be a king. I have to wear a long cloak and carry a big lump of gold. It’s not real gold, it’s made of cardboard. I don’t have to say anything, because I didn’t want to. Only Number One King has to say some words. I just follow him and King Number Two on the stage to look at the baby – it’s a doll, really – lying in the major.’
‘Manger, Jacob,’ Tom said, laughing, as I blinked in surprise at such a long speech from this quiet child. ‘It’s a nativity play,’ he added to me, ‘obviously!’
‘Well done, Jacob, for getting a part,’ I said enthusiastically, all too aware of what a challenge this must surely be for him. I glanced at Tom again. ‘Um … I don’t know … unless it’s a Wednesday, I’ll be at work.’
‘Oh, it’s in the evening. Next Tuesday, half past six. But of course, I expect you’ll be busy …’
‘No, I … don’t have anything on, that evening. But are you sure? I mean, isn’t it just for the children’s parents?’
‘No – we got two tickets each, so I can bring a guest. And you’re practically a member of staff at the school now anyway!’ he added with a grin.
Jacob was looking at me with his big brown eyes. ‘Please come, Jess! I want you to,’ he said.
‘Well, thank you. Yes, I’d love to!’ I agreed, and was gratified to see Tom’s eyes light up with pleasure and Jacob doing a little skip of excitement.
Of course, I was also pleased to think that although Tom had two tickets for the play, he hadn’t asked anyone else to come – anyone such as the girlfriend, partner, sister, or lesbian friend that Vera seemed so intent on warning me about. He must be single, I decided with a happy little smile to myself as I walked home. I felt a flutter of excitement inside. Was this … could it be leading up to something? Despite everything I’d said, after what happened, or rather what hadn’t happened with Nick – that I wouldn’t bother with men, that I’d rather be a nun – was I actually daring to hope Tom was – kind of – asking me out?
I was singing to myself in the kitchen when Ruth came home.
‘You sound happy!’ she said, laughing.
I swung round to face her. ‘Actually, you sound pretty happy yourself!’
‘I am, Jess.’ She was pink-cheeked, hugging herself. ‘I’m so happy I could burst! Everything’s going so well with Ollie. I can hardly believe I’m in love again, already, after that horrible business with Nick. It’s all thanks to you, you know that, don’t you? If you hadn’t pushed me, if you hadn’t supported me the way you did, I’d still be drinking, and God knows the mess I’d be in now.’
I put my arms round her. ‘I’m so pleased it’s working out well for you. When are you going to bring him home?’
‘This weekend! He’s staying over.’
> ‘Oh, I’ll make myself scarce then,’ I said at once. ‘I don’t want to get in the way! I’ll go to Dad’s—’
‘No, don’t be silly!’ she protested. ‘Stay here and meet him.’
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea. Seriously, I’m happy to give you some privacy the first time you bring him home. He won’t be expecting to have me hanging around, playing gooseberry.’
‘Jess, listen, he wants to meet you. I’ve told him so much about you, and he’s looking forward to being here with both of us. And it’s your home too,’ she insisted. ‘Anyway,’ she added after I’d finally nodded agreement: she held me at arm’s length and looked me up and down, ‘what’s all the singing and dancing about, with you? You look very pleased with yourself!’
‘Oh, it’s nothing, really.’ But I could feel myself grinning. ‘Just … somebody I’ve been talking to. Somebody … nice.’
‘What! Why haven’t I heard about this? Tell me all! What’s his name, where does he live, what does he do?’
I laughed. ‘Believe it or not, I don’t even know what he does, but his name’s Tom, and he’s got a cute little boy called Jacob, and a cat called Coco, and he’s just asked me to go with him to the school play next week.’ I paused, shaking my head. ‘We’re just friends, though, Ruth.’
‘But you’re hoping for more?’
There was a long pause. I thought about Vera’s warnings. But surely, if Tom had a girlfriend, if he was living with someone, he’d have mentioned her by now? She’d be coming to the play with him. She never seemed to be in evidence when I saw him. And he’d seemed so sad when he’d talked about the loss of his wife.
I met Ruth’s eyes, and nodded, slowly. ‘Well, if I’m honest, yes I suppose I do really like him. But I don’t suppose he’d ever be interested in me, not as anything more than a friend, anyway.’
‘Don’t always put yourself down, love,’ she replied. She gave me a hug. ‘You’re a lovely person, and you deserve to have someone nice in your life. You just need to believe in yourself. Go for it: what have you got to lose?’
I felt a lump in my throat as I hugged Ruth back and thought about how much nicer she was now. True, there was still the odd time when she’d snap irritably, stomp around the house a bit and even slam her bedroom door like before – but these were becoming less and less frequent. And it seemed she really did still like having me around, and wanted the best for me. Maybe I should listen to her and, yes, take her advice, the way I used to when I was younger. If she still believed in me, perhaps I should, as she’d suggested, believe in myself too?
CHAPTER 26
With Ruth’s words echoing in my head, I waited eagerly every day that week for Tom to call in again at the shop. I was busy most evenings, chasing up stallholders for the Christmas market, liaising with Dan about it, and at the same time planning my own Christmas pet stall. At the weekend, I helped Ruth shop for a special dinner for her and Ollie, insisting I would shut myself away for the evening to work on the plan of the Christmas market stalls that I’d promised Dan I would draw up.
‘I’ll heat myself a pizza and eat it in front of the TV,’ I said. ‘Leave you two lovebirds in peace!’
There was now only a week to go until the Christmas market. Dan was becoming almost hysterical with panic about the things that still had to be done, and I ended up spending Sunday and Monday evenings with him, trying to calm him down, as well as discussing last-minute arrangements.
By the time I finished at the shop on the Tuesday, I still hadn’t seen Tom again, and I was hoping he hadn’t forgotten our arrangement. We’d agreed to meet outside the school, as he had both tickets, so after giving Prudence her walk and cleaning her up, I hurried down there, all too aware that the last occasion, not so long ago, when I’d rushed to meet a man and had been late, he hadn’t bothered to wait for me. The memory was almost as sharp as the stitch in my side as I turned the last corner at a run – but there was Tom, by the school door, looking smart but casual in his jeans and jacket, and smiling with something that looked like relief when he saw me approaching.
‘You came!’ he said.
‘Of course! I said I would, didn’t I?’
I was too out of breath to say any more, but he was continuing in a rush of embarrassment, saying he was sorry, he didn’t mean to imply that he thought I might let him down, that he was just pleased I hadn’t changed my mind or that something more important hadn’t turned up, after all it was only a school play and it wasn’t as if I needed to come …
He tailed off, and we both looked at each other and laughed. It felt odd – but nice – to be with someone who seemed to be just as capable as me of getting himself into a terrible state of awkwardness.
‘I had to be here early,’ he said as we walked into the school hall, ‘to help Jacob get changed. His cloak’s too long and he’s worried about tripping over it, so I had to hoist it up round him with a belt.’
‘Ah, was he excited?’
‘Nervous, mostly.’
I nodded sympathetically. It was a huge step forward for the shy little boy to agree to go onstage at all. The reality of what he was about to do would surely be kicking in by now. But we didn’t have any longer to talk about it, because as soon as we’d found our seats, Mr Phillips, the headmaster, walked onto the stage to announce the start of the play. The audience fell silent as – prompted by one of the teachers – a small girl dressed as Mary appeared onstage, sat down with her legs crossed and folded her arms impatiently while a narrator explained who she was. After a moment, a boy in angel costume joined her and announced, while scratching his nose, that she was going to have a baby – a fact that Mary seemed surprisingly unconcerned about.
Considering the play was only for the younger children, so none of those participating were older than seven, I found the whole performance really moving. All of them seemed to have a part, even if it was only to join the crowd singing ‘Away in a Manger’. I recognised the children who came to my Wednesday sessions: one of them was dressed as the Star that the three kings were following as they finally walked onto the stage, heading for Mary and Joseph. Mary, by now yawning her head off, forgot her lines at this point and in the brief silence before her teacher prompted her, King Number One dropped his pot of myrrh straight into the manger instead of handing it to her.
‘Oi, mind the baby’s head!’ she hollered, giving him a shove so that he stumbled backwards into the other two kings.
There was a murmur of laughter from the audience, but Tom and I were both far too tense about how the incident would affect Jacob. The little girl dressed as a donkey had started to cry, and one of the shepherds – who’d been waving to his parents throughout most of the play so far – had now dumped his toy sheep on the floor and gone to fish the pot of myrrh out of the manger.
‘We have followed this star from the east,’ whispered the teacher doing the prompting, to King Number One, but by now he was engaged in a struggle with the shepherd over the pot of myrrh.
There was an awkward silence – and then, suddenly, from the back of the stage, came a timid little voice, raised in determination:
‘We have followed this star from the east, to bring our presents to your baby.’
‘Jacob!’ Tom gasped in amazement.
The play continued, with angels singing and dropping their haloes, and Mary and Joseph sharing a sneaky kiss, but for me and especially for Tom, there could not have been any finer moment than when the shyest little boy in the school had been brave enough to rescue the performance. We talked of nothing else as we waited to collect him from his classroom afterwards, and when Jacob eventually came out, dragging his cloak behind him, we both gave him such big hugs that he had to squirm out of our arms, laughing but rubbing his eyes with tiredness.
‘I’d better get him straight home to bed,’ Tom said apologetically. ‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t be sorry, of course you must. Good night, Jacob,’ I said. ‘And well done, again. You were brilliant.’<
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‘King Number One said he didn’t really want to say his words anyway,’ he was telling his father sleepily as they walked away.
Tom turned back, laughing, to wave to me, and I watched them until they’d gone round the corner. It might not have been a date, as such. But it was definitely, I decided, the nicest evening out with a friend that I’d ever had!
The next day, Wednesday, I could think of nothing but Tom and Jacob. All through the session at Seashell Ward, all through the read2dogs session at the school – especially when it was the turn of the children from Daffodil class, when Jacob, with his shy smile and soft voice, his dark eyes avoiding contact with any of his classmates, managed to read the whole of his book to Prudence – I wondered whether his father might be waiting for him again at the school gate. And if so, what I’d say to him. Now that the excitement of the school play had dwindled a little, I knew I’d feel shy all over again when I saw him.
I purposely took my time leaving the school, so that once again there were parents gathering outside to meet their children. When I didn’t see him there, I dragged my feet, talking to Prudence, looking up and down the road, reluctant to go home. Prudence gave a little whine.
What are we hanging around for? Come on, you promised me a walk!
‘I know, Pru. I just … wanted to see someone. Oh!’ I dropped my voice to a whisper. ‘Here he is.’
There he was. Coming down the road, tall and slim in his winter jacket, flicking his dark floppy hair out of his eyes as it caught in the chilly breeze. Now he was lifting one arm to wave to Jacob, who was trotting across the playground towards him. I stared. One arm waving to Jacob. The other arm linked … with the arm of a woman. A beautiful blonde woman in a cream sheepskin jacket, tight black jeans, smart red high-heeled boots, red leather gloves – I particularly noticed the gloves, and for some reason I hated her for them – who was smiling as she looked up at him, smiling again as she looked down at Jacob. As I watched, Jacob grasped Tom’s free hand and – my heart hurt to see this – grabbed the woman’s hand on the other side. Laughing together, they parted their linked arms and turned to walk off together, swinging Jacob between them, like the happy little family they so obviously were. The happy little set-up Vera had tried to warn me about, that I’d dismissed without a thought as I foolishly, ridiculously, once again went off on my own little romantic fantasy. One that definitely didn’t include a blonde woman in red leather gloves. So Tom had a girlfriend. A long-term girlfriend, obviously, since Jacob was already apparently so fond of her, and she of him. A live-in girlfriend, presumably, as Vera had so conveniently noticed her going in and out of the house.
The Pet Shop at Pennycombe Bay Page 22