by Shae Banks
I looked at the phone for a second, and then turned it off before dropping it and getting out of the bath. I sat down to dry my hair, smiling to myself. He was turning out to be a complete pain in the arse. I didn’t want him messaging and calling me. I had declined his invitation for that very reason.
I made short work of my hair, I was exhausted and needed some sleep. While I fully intended to be home by ten the following night, I suspected it would end up being a late one. He’d proven he could get me talking whether I wanted to or not. Twice.
I turned my phone back on when I got into bed and set it to silent. I had a message waiting from Haylie and two from Jason.
Remember to wow him. I want all the gossip Monday morning. Text me.
I grinned, shook my head and turned off the lamp, replying with three kisses. Then I opened his.
I set my alarm for eleven and three. Speak to you soon.
Wow. You really turned it off. Tomorrow it is then.
I almost replied but thought better of it. Placing it screen down on my bedside table, I turned over and cuddled into my duvet. It didn’t matter if I was making a mistake. It was too late. He’d pulled me in expertly. If I hadn’t seen the look on his face when he first saw me I’d have sworn it was all planned. But he was as shocked as I was. And he’d felt it, whatever this pull is between us, just as I did. He told me he had. Whatever happened, I had to find out. With my luck, it was going to end badly, but that wasn’t enough to stop me. Not now.
Chapter Six
He was at the bar when I walked in. I didn’t need him to turn around to know it was him. The cut of his jeans, the way the shirt hung on his frame, the way the light made his brown hair shine. The sight of him almost undid the work I’d done to present myself as calm and confident.
I approached the bar and saw he was smiling into the mirrored back wall that displayed the various spirits on offer. I hopped up onto the barstool beside him and waited for him to acknowledge me.
“And a prosecco,” he said to the barman, still looking at me through the mirror. “You made it.”
“I said I would.”
He turned his head and smiled. “You look lovely.”
I’d chosen a dress, not the one Haylie suggested, but it had a low enough neckline to show off some cleavage while still being comfortable, and flat, black pumps. Nothing too fancy, I didn’t want to look as though I were really trying. “You scrub up all right yourself.”
My drink was served, and I thanked him, waiting for him to move away from the bar.
When he didn’t, I took a sip of my drink to help with my nerves and said, “You asked all about me but didn’t tell me anything about you.”
“Not a lot to tell,” he responded, turning to face me, leaning on the bar. His eyes flicked over me, then settled on my face. “I went to uni, graduated, started working, and here I am.”
I crossed one foot over the other and put my left arm over my stomach. “Evasive.”
He laughed. “Okay. I went to uni, mum sold the house and moved down there with her now husband. I settled down south since that’s where she was. I got a job, and got married, which didn’t work out. I work away a lot, so I live in hotels most of the time. I was needed up here, so I’ve been back and forth quite a bit recently. I was out with a colleague after work when I bumped into you. Is that better?”
I played with the stem of my glass. “Much. Sorry your marriage didn’t work out.”
He shrugged. “Shit happens. We’re still friends.”
My brows rose. “Really?”
“Yeah. Was yours a difficult split?”
I laughed without much humor. I couldn’t disguise my bitterness at the whole mess. “You could say that, yeah. I’d go as far as to say painful. But it’s been years now. Seven. Haven’t seen him since…” I trailed off, not wanting to share that small detail. “But like you said, shit happens.”
I don’t know what he saw in my eyes, but he clearly didn’t like it. I saw a muscle tic along his jaw as he clenched his teeth. Then he took a mouthful of whatever he was drinking. It looked like vodka and tonic.
“So,” I said, taking a breath in. “Are we eating at the bar?”
He brightened immediately. “No, I booked a table. Shall we go through?”
I slid from the stool and was surprised when he grasped my free hand. My instinct was to flinch away, but I forced myself not to react. He was being friendly. I was in a safe place. He wouldn’t hurt me.
Instead, I answered, “Yeah, I’m starving.”
Dinner was amazing. I stuck to water after that first glass of prosecco, and despite my insistence he have wine with his meal, he did the same. He kept the conversation general, and I hated to admit that I’d enjoyed his company. I discovered he spent time in the gym to pass the evenings, he was amazed at how I used kettlebells to help with a back problem, at least that’s how I presented it.
“So, this new job of yours,” he said. “How’s that going?”
I smiled. “It’s great. I’m really enjoying it,” I answered honestly. “What about you? How long will you be in the area?”
He shrugged. “I’m in and out. We have an office here, and I come up when I’m needed. There’s quite a lot on just now, so I could be in and out for a few weeks.”
That made me nervous. The whole dinner thing was supposed to be a one off, but if he was coming back… I pushed my chair back, about to leave the table. “This was nice. Thank you for the invitation.”
He stood up, but I was out of my seat before he could get to my side of the table, clutching my bag to my abdomen.
“My pleasure. Thank you for coming. Can I walk you to your car?”
My instinct was to say no, but the way he looked at me with hope made me curious. I shrugged one shoulder. “Yeah. Thanks.”
He walked in silence at my side until we reached the lobby, then slowed. I took an extra three steps before I realized he stopped.
“Nathalie, I… I really am sorry for what I did twelve years ago. I handled that so badly. I know it was a long time ago, and I can’t change it now, but I just want you to know it ate at me for years. It still does. More so now that I know what it did to you. I’m sorry.”
I stopped and turned, surprised to see his expression. He looked as though he were in pain. I remembered what I said to Haylie, but the truth was, seeing him squirm like this was torture.
“Jase…” I paused. My mouth was dry. I wasn’t prepared for it, and nerves fluttered in my stomach as I searched for a response. I didn’t understand why, but I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to take the pain away. Seeing him so full of regret, so tortured, was hell. Those three paces between us felt like an abyss. My tongue flicked out to wet my bottom lip, and his eyes focused on it as I said, “I can’t say it doesn’t matter. But… well, I can forgive you. I think.”
His eyes searched mine for a second before he moved forward. He moved slowly. Cautiously. His right hand reaching for me, his eyes scanning my face for a sign of rejection. I didn’t move. I leaned into his palm as he pressed it gently against my cheek, and closed my eyes as his face came closer to mine.
Our lips touched, his free hand found my waist, and I melted. I’d come here expecting awkwardness and stilted conversation. I’d arrived still feeling bitter but curious, determined to hide my nervousness, fighting not to let him see how terrified I was. But I wasn’t terrified now. I didn’t fear him. He was still Jase. The feel of his lips against mine was all it took to stir up the feelings I’d kept locked away.
I hadn’t wanted to, but I believed him. He’d never meant to hurt me.
I’d hated him. I’d cried and cursed his name a thousand times. I intended to let that be the end of it, to never see him again and be happy about it.
But I was about to leave feeling entirely differently.
“Thank you.”
There was so much relief in the two words muttered against my lips, my chest constricted. Then his hand left my cheek, and he step
ped back, rubbing the back of his neck.
I caught his other hand as he released my waist and held it for a second, before dropping it and smiling awkwardly.
He was watching my eyes. I didn’t look away. I held his gaze for a moment, wondering what I was supposed to say.
“Stay.”
“What.” I said. It was a reflex, not a question.
Stay. With him. Excitement roiled in my stomach as I took a step forward.
I wanted him. I needed to feel his lips on mine again. I needed him to be my Jason just one last time.
There was no more discussion. He took my hand in his and turned, leading me away from the doors to the right of the check in desk, and toward the lifts.
He hit the call button and the doors opened straight away. I didn’t have time to think, his hand settling on the small of my back, guiding me inside.
I turned to ask what he was doing, but the doors were closing, and he was kissing me again. I was kissing him. My hands skimmed over the smooth skin of his face, and his gripped my waist.
Excitement pumped through my body as he kissed me again. This time with more urgency. More passion. I had no choice but to reciprocate, my body responding to him in ways I’d forgotten it could. I was pushed along by a rush of euphoria, his lips teasing mine apart and fueling the fire that was raging through my veins. A fire he’d started. A fire that hadn’t warmed me for over a decade.
The doors opened, and he backed up abruptly, taking me by the hand and leading me out and down a hallway.
“Jason.”
He stopped with his hand on what I assumed to be the door to his room, his head bowed. “Tell me you don’t feel this, that this isn’t what you want, and I’ll take you to your car.”
I couldn’t speak. I could barely even think, but I knew my car wasn’t where I wanted to be. It was the last place I wanted to be. I’d been denying it, but it was there. Right then it was all I needed.
I squeezed his hand, and he unlocked his door.
He led me inside. The door snapped shut behind me, and I startled. He didn’t notice.
The room was shrouded in darkness, but he led me along until the bed nudged at the backs of my knees, and then he guided me down.
His kiss was more urgent. His lips more demanding. His hands roaming.
My skin tingled beneath every brush of his fingers, and I needed more. More of him. With one hand on his shoulder I pushed him back, reaching for his shirt with the other. The buttons unfastened easily, and he shrugged it off as I ran my fingers over his chest.
“Just a minute.”
“No…” I gasped, tugging at his shoulder. “Leave the light off. Please.”
He was fumbling with something. Then I heard the crinkle of foil before he kissed me, his hands finding mine, fingers lacing and pressing them down next to either side of my head.
“Can I make it up to you?” he asked, pulling away from my mouth and kissing my neck.
I moaned, breath hitching as his tongue traced the hollow of my throat. His kisses resumed, moving down my chest. “Nathalie.”
My answer was to wrap my leg around his hip and pull him closer. I felt his erection through his jeans as he ground against me, and I angled my hips up instinctively.
I tried to raise my head, but I was pinned. He released my hands immediately, holding himself above me while I pushed myself up and shuffled further back on the bed.
He stayed where he was. “I can’t see.”
I chuckled and knelt on the bed, finding his shoulders. “You don’t need to.”
The low rumble that came from his throat as he found the hem of my dress sent another wave of excitement through me. His agreement came with my dress being dropped on the bed beside me, and his mouth claiming mine.
Chapter Seven
He was out cold. I lay with my head on his chest and listened to his breathing for a few minutes, wondering what the time was. The room was still dark, but a few shafts of daylight were breaking through gaps in the curtains. Just enough for me to see.
The answer came with an alarm going off, and I panicked. I was under the duvet, but I was naked, and him awake meant lights. I told myself to calm down. It was too late to run. I didn’t really want to. It wasn’t as though he was going to call once I left anyway, so I may as well just enjoy these final few minutes with him.
It had been as close to perfect as I could have hoped. He was unusually considerate, from my own experiences, and while I hadn’t climaxed, it hadn’t been the disappointing experience I’d become used to with other partners. He didn’t know I hadn’t climaxed since I put on a decent enough act and just enjoyed the closeness. But he didn’t need to know. It wasn’t his fault, it was just how I was.
I ran my hand over his chest. “Jase. Your phone.”
His hand ran up and down my arm, tickling, but he ignored his alarm.
“Don’t you have work?”
He moved, turning onto his side to turn off the alarm, and I lifted my head to let him.
“You stayed.” Despite it being thick with sleep, there was relief in his voice. I felt a bit bad he expected me to bail as soon as he was out.
“Yeah…” I wrinkled my nose at him. “You fell asleep and, well it was late and this bed’s really comfy, so I thought I might as well.”
He was smirking at me as he lay on his side, watching me. I wasn’t sure what to say. What to do. “What time is it?”
“Probably about eight.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m late… I’m late for work.” I clutched the duvet to my chest and sat up, tucking it around me as I tried to work out the best way to get out of the bed, gather up my clothes, and get into the bathroom without him seeing me naked. The room wasn’t that light, but I didn’t want to chance it.
“Chill out, you won’t be that late.”
“I can’t be late at all. I haven’t been there long enough… shit.”
His hand brushed the small of my back, and I scooted to the edge of the bed.
“I need to get dressed…”
Sighing, he rolled over and out of bed. I watched him walk over to the window and pull back the curtains, tucking the duvet tighter around myself before he turned around. His body was silhouetted against the bright morning light as my eyes adjusted. Then I got a really good look.
“So, you really workout?”
He looked down at himself then back to me, tilting his head as his eyes met mine again. “A bit.”
I laughed, trying not to stare. What ended up happening was my eyes roved over his entire body. He watched me watching him, his right hand behind his neck.
“Want me to stand here a bit longer, or shall I go and get sorted since you’re obviously going to hide under that duvet until I leave the room?”
I bit my bottom lip and pulled in my brows. “One more minute.”
He was on me in seconds, pushing me down onto the bed and kissing me. I was laughing beneath him, trying hard not to let the duvet slip.
“Jase,” I murmured between kisses. “I’m late, and I have to go home and change before I go to work.”
“You started it. Can I see you tonight?”
“When do you leave?”
“I was going to head back this evening, but one more night here won’t hurt. I can drive back in the morning.”
“Your company will love you costing them an extra night.”
He laughed and kissed the end of my nose. “Let me worry about that.” Then he pushed off the bed and went to the bathroom.
I moved quickly. How my dress was going to look after being fucked on, then slept on, I had no idea, but I found it and my knickers and pulled them on in a haste. The bra came next, and I’d just tugged my dress back over my head when I noticed the notepad and pen on the nightstand. Before I could think better of it, I scribbled down my number.
I was just sliding my feet into my shoes when he came out of the bathroom, holding ou
t his toothbrush.
I looked at it like it was on fire.
“You’ll share my bed but not my toothbrush?”
“It’s just…” I trailed off, knowing I sounded ridiculous.
“We exchanged enough bodily fluids last night, don’t you think?”
I glared at him. “You… you used a… don’t tell me you fucking stealthed me.”
He gave me a look that made me feel terrible, took my hand, and pushed the toothbrush into it. “Just clean your bloody teeth.” Then he walked into the small entrance hall to the hotel room and opened the wardrobe.
I brushed my teeth quickly, making sure to rinse the brush thoroughly when he popped his head around the door. “There. No stealthing.”
I choked on the water I was rinsing my mouth with when I looked through the mirror to see him dangling a knotted condom on the end of his index finger.
His eyes were gleaming with mirth. “If you’re ready, I’ll walk you to your car.”
I wasn’t sure I was ready. Walking out of this room meant it was over. He’d said he wanted to see me again, but the part of me that didn’t believe anything good could possibly happen to me was whispering in my ear. I’d ignored it until then, but faced with drawing a line under our one night, I was forced to listen.
“About tonight…”
He stepped into the bathroom, no sign of the condom, thankfully, and leaned both hands on the sink, trapping me. I looked at him through the mirror, trying desperately not to lock up, and forced a smile.
“Where do you want me to meet you?”
“Why don’t you text me when you’re ready, and I can pick you up?”
“Nice try.”
He shrugged. “Was worth a shot. Really though, we don’t have to make any set plans. We can see how we feel later since we both have work.”
I relaxed, closed my eyes, and tipped my head back, resting it on his shoulder. I could have stayed longer, part of me really wanted to, but… “I have to go.”