by Shae Banks
“So, he doesn’t care his mate is bedding his Admin Manager?”
I snorted and threw the two empty saucepans in the dishwasher, then took a gulp of my drink. “Nope. Apparently not. Said he’d like to get to know me better, or words to that effect.”
She slid up onto the worktop and her mouth pulled down in the corners. I was expecting something altogether more inappropriate, but she said, “Well if you get the friend’s blessing, you’re golden.”
I glanced at her and raised my eyebrows. “Yeah?”
“Definitely,” she affirmed with a stern nod. “Jason’s got mine, you have Tony’s. You’re set.”
“Oh, well if you give us the green light, I’m sure it’ll all work out perfectly,” I teased. “Pass me the cheese.”
“Do you think that’s why me and Tommo have such a hard time?”
“What?”
She passed me the cheese and returned to the worktop. “Well, his mates don’t bother with me. You don’t bother with him.”
“Now hang on,” I protested, nearly grating my thumb when I looked around at her. “I invite him over all the time. He’s the one not bothering. And when I come over to yours, I just get grunts and sighs because I’m interrupting his very important model building. It’s not like I haven’t tried with him, Hayles. He just doesn’t like me.”
“He doesn’t not like you, he just doesn’t know what to say to you,” she replied gloomily. “He was shocked when… that happened. First, he was angry, then he was upset it happened to you, and then he just didn’t know how to approach you after you got better. He sent me over all the time. I was worried I was suffocating you, but he kept on sending me to check.”
I frowned, feeling a bit guilty. “Why haven’t you told me this before?”
She shrugged and drained her glass. “I dunno. It didn’t seem important.”
I set the timer on the oven, slid the lasagna in, and poured myself another drink. “I thought he was a wanker for years. It was important.”
“I thought Jason was a wanker for years, but look—”
“You pushed me to see him!” I said with exasperation.
“To get him out of your system. I didn’t know you were going to fall for him all over again.”
“I haven’t… I didn’t.”
She looked at me with her brows raised and her lips pulled to one side.
“Shit.” I wasn’t ready to process it yet. Saying it out loud made it all so much more real and worse, and Haylie had figured it out.
She started cackling. I went into the living room. “You didn’t work that out?” she asked, hopping onto the sofa next to me. “What did you think it was, a booty call on redial?”
“Well, no, but I didn’t think… Well, this is…”
“What happens when you hop into bed with someone you’ve loved forever?”
I looked at her. “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”
“No, you’re right where you’re supposed to be. I’m the one in trouble. Probably.”
“You need to talk to him.”
She pressed her lips together and nodded her head. “What if he wants to end it?”
I had to be honest. “You won’t know until you speak to him. It could be something completely unrelated. Leave him to it for a bit. Letting him work through whatever’s going on with him can’t hurt. When you do go back and talk, you know he’s had some time.”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”
I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. If you’re going to stand a chance, you must communicate.”
She looked at me and narrowed her eyes.
“Okay, I stole that. Jase said the same thing to me, and he’s right.”
“Looks like you’re doing a lot of that,” she said with a saucy smile.
“We aren’t talking about me.”
“The shoe fits.”
I scowled at her and got up, heading into the kitchen. She didn’t follow me, and I was glad. I needed a few minutes. I took the opportunity to fix a salad while the lasagna finished cooking, considering what Haylie had revealed.
I was just plating our meal when she appeared in the kitchen door. “Phone’s ringing.”
I took it from her and looked at the screen.
“Answer then,” she whispered, staring at me.
I shook my head and let it ring off. “I’ll call him back later.”
She frowned at me, but I smiled. “Dinner’s ready.”
I’d had considerably more vodka when he called again.
“Are you okay?” he asked, sounding a little concerned.
“I’m fine. I’m more than fine. What are you doing?”
“Nothing. I had dinner, tried to call you but you didn’t answer, now I’m watching TV, bored senseless.”
“Sorry, we were having dinner ourselves.”
“We?”
“Yes, we. Hayles is staying over. Her boyfriend isn’t talking to her, so she came here to keep me company.”
“I was thinking. Next weekend, do you want to go somewhere?” he queried.
I went quiet.
“Nat?”
“Sorry, yeah… Like where?”
“Anywhere you want. I’ll pick you up, and we can get away for a bit.”
“What’s brought this on?” I asked as Haylie came into the room, the smell of cigarette smoke and cold air clinging to her onesie. I inhaled as she sat next to me, the old craving making my fingers restless. She rested against me and sighed, the vodka clearly doing its job with her, and I rested my head against hers.
“I was thinking about the other morning, and how good it was just being… Well, just being us.”
“We can do that any weekend. It isn’t like I need permission to have you over, is it?”
“No, but I wanted to treat you.”
“I don’t need treating, Jason. I need you.”
It was his turn to go quiet.
“I mean… I miss you.”
“No, no, I want to be with you more, really, it’s just… I’ve got a lot to handle here, and it isn’t something I can just walk away from.”
Haylie had fallen asleep, which wasn’t surprising, she was drinking doubles to my singles. I shuffled away from her and moved into the kitchen, closing the door. “I’m not asking you to. I just… I don’t even know what. I’ve had a really shit week with one thing and another—”
“You mean the staff has been talking?” he asked, not sounding surprised.
“Well, yeah. The office junior saw you kiss me. She fell over herself to start talking. I don’t care, I go in, I do my job, I leave. I’m not there to make friends.”
He sighed. “I don’t want to cause problems for you at work, babe. But you know it’s probably just jealousy. They’ll forget about it soon enough.”
A familiar sensation fluttered in my stomach and I smiled to myself. He hadn’t called me that since we’d started seeing each other again. It was all he called me our first time around. “It’s fine. Honestly. What are you doing tomorrow?”
“Oh, this and that. I’ll be thinking of you, though.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I think of you all the time. I can give you some examples—”
“Don’t you dare,” I hissed, flushing. “I think about you all the time too… Jase, can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
I glanced at the living room door, then to the back door, and went for it. Haylie had left her smokes on the counter, and I grabbed them and went outside. “What are we doing?”
“I know what I’m doing,” he said. “I’m trying to make this long-distance thing work and clearly doing a terrible fucking job of it.”
“You’re not,” I mumbled weakly. “I’m sorry, I just... I need to know where this is going. I don’t want… I can’t, not again.”
He went quiet. I lit a smoke and took a long drag, then closed my eyes as the chemicals gave me a head rush.
“I’m trying so hard, so fuck
ing hard not to fuck this up. You’re too important.”
I frowned at his words and took another drag.
“I don’t want to rush anything, babe.”
My eyes welled, and I brushed the tears away with my thumb, smoke from the cigarette making it worse. I sniffed.
“Nat, don’t get upset. Please. I…”
“I love you.” The three biggest words in the world, and I blurted them out like that.
He was quiet for a few seconds, then cleared his throat. “You know smoking is really bad for you?”
I snorted into the mouthpiece and took another drag. “I only smoke when I’m drunk.”
“So, you’re drunk, and I’m missing it? Damn.”
“Okay, not drunk. But I’ve had a few vodkas, and it’s been a crap week apart from seeing you. I needed a smoke.”
“Hmmm,” he hummed. “Well, it’s late, and you have a bottle to finish from the sounds of it. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
I smiled. “Okay. Not too early though.”
He laughed softly and said, “Sleep well, babe.”
His laugh cheered me right up. “Okay.”
“I love you, too.”
He ended the call before I could respond, but I stood in the garden grinning to myself and flicked the smoke into the corner by the gate. I didn’t need the smoke to calm my nerves, I needed to know he felt the same way as me, and he’d said it. I could tell he meant it.
Chapter Eighteen
“Where are we going?” I asked, getting into his car. He’d been waiting outside when I got home from work, and I had to rush to get changed.
“Just for a few drinks. I don’t plan to be out too late, I have things I want to do,” he said as he fastened his seatbelt and winked at me.
I wasn’t about to ask what. “Who with?” I enquired instead.
“Tony. I thought it was time you got to know my friends.”
“I already know him,” I replied as he pulled slowly out of my street. “I work with him every day.”
“Oh, not that Tony, he’s a boring arse. The real Tony doesn’t wear a suit.”
I smirked. “Okay. We need to stop and pick up a bottle of wine or something.”
“Nope,” he said turning onto the main road out of town. “He only drinks one wine, and I’m not paying for that. I’ll pay for dinner.”
“What’s for dinner?”
“Pizza.”
I snorted. “Expensive wine and pizza?”
“Yeah. He was raised with a silver spoon in his mouth, likes the finer things but rebels with junk food. I did my best with him but… well.” He shrugged his broad shoulders.
“You’re not exactly the lad who left here, Jase,” I said seriously. “You did a good job dropping your accent.”
“I had to,” he disclosed. “I got into one of the most prestigious universities in the country on my own ability, but there was no way I was going to fit in with a working-class accent. I dropped it pretty quickly. It helped sharing a house with Tony, Rich, and Cara.”
That was a revelation. “You all lived together?”
He laughed. “Yeah. We came up with the whole business idea the last few months of uni. Well, Cara saw my designs and spoke to her dad. Her dad was impressed. He’s big in property, and one of his friends helped me build the prototype models, patent it, and set me up with some connections. Cara pushed Tony to join me, she was always able to talk him into stuff, and even saw how to bring Rich in.”
“Rich has been there since day one, too?” I asked. I hadn’t met him but had spoken to him a few times on the phone, handling some very urgent samples. He seemed nice.
“He was really important to making the whole thing work, actually. The filter is our bread and butter product, but without him we couldn’t test our own samples and the costs were too high to outsource.”
“And did Cara talk him around, too?”
He laughed. “No. God, no. Cara was the reason he hesitated. She can be a bit… overbearing, and he doesn’t do so well with it.”
“I didn’t get that from her at all,” I mused, looking out the window. We’d left town and were heading out toward a nearby village. “Does he live out here?”
“He missed the country,” he said as an explanation. “He grew up in the middle of nowhere. When we needed to expand, he chose this area. I had a connection to the place. Good links to the north of the country, not too urban. He was glad to move up here.”
The car slowed, and he turned down a long, pebbled drive.
“Fucking hell,” I muttered under my breath.
“What?” he questioned, like there wasn’t a damn thing to be impressed at.
“How many bedrooms does that thing have?”
“Seven? I dunno. Watch out for the dogs. They’re wild.”
I got out of the car and stared at the huge house as the baying of hounds began.
“Jason. Please, don’t let them near me.”
He heard the panic in my voice and moved around the car, grabbing my hand and pulling me behind him as they came bounding toward us. They were massive, all flapping jowls and wafting ears, and didn’t seem to want to slow down, and I could feel a scream building in my throat.
“Sonny, Lurch, no.”
The two bloodhounds came to a skidding halt a few feet away, the larger of the two collapsing in a heap and rolling onto his back and wagging his tail. Jase gave my hand a gentle squeeze then let go, approaching the dogs. “All right, calm down. Yeah, I’ve missed you,” he addressed them, going down on his knees and rubbing the belly of the big one as the other jumped on his back. “Shit, Lurch, get down.”
I took another step away and reached for the door handle when the big one got up off the ground and started wrestling against Jason’s chest, vying for his attention, when a high whistle called them off. They shot back up the drive, and I saw Tony come through a wrought iron gate to the side of the house wearing a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and no shoes.
Jason got up and turned to me with an apologetic smile. “I should have checked, sorry.”
I shook my head. “No, I should have mentioned it. I went off dogs when Gav brought his dad’s to ours. His weren’t too friendly, hunting dogs, and they bit my hand more than once.” I lifted my right hand to point out the few silver lines along my thumb.
I saw a flicker of anger in his eyes and looked away as Tony drew close.
“I’m sorry, Nathalie. I forgot to close the gate.”
I shook my head and smiled. “Don’t worry about it. It’s their house, they were just seeing who was here. No harm done.”
He kissed my cheek and instructed, “Come inside. And please relax. We aren’t at work.”
The gravel crunched beneath our feet as we walked up to the house, Jason taking my hand and Tony walking a few steps ahead. “Interesting names,” I said as we reached the front door.
Tony laughed. “Lurch was very lanky as a pup, so he earned the name.”
“And Sonny?” I asked.
Jason laughed. “You saw how he collapsed?”
I gave him a side glance as Tony explained, “Jay always thought it was hilarious how huge he was, yet when the prospect of attention was on the cards he hit the deck.”
“He goes down like a sack of shit, he means,” Jase chipped in as Tony pushed open the front door.
“Go through to the bar,” Tony said as we stepped inside. “I’m going to go and lock the pair of them up.”
“Oh, no don’t,” I protested, “it isn’t their fault.”
“No, no. I usually keep them in the courtyard when I have company. They’re much too large to be climbing on people. Get yourselves a drink, I won’t be long.”
Jason led me into a games room off to the left, housing a pool table, juke box, and a couple of sofas, and in the corner was a hand carved bar. The floor was solid oak, giving the place a cottagey feel despite the size of the rooms. Jason smiled and asked, “Prosecco?”
I shrugged. “If he has any.�
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He tipped his head to the side, and I followed him. Behind the bar were four glass-fronted fridges displaying mostly beers, ciders, wines, and mixers. He patted the bar and said, “The spirits are under here.”
I smiled. “Oh, not spirits. I’m happy with prosecco. Thanks.”
“Sit down, I’ll bring it over.”
He opened the bottle as I made for the sofas, pausing when I noticed the large canvas print on the wall behind the largest couch.
“My goddaughter, Poppy,” Tony explained. I jumped, not realizing he was there until he spoke.
“Sorry, I tend not to wear shoes.”
“Meaning he’s a creeping bloody Jesus,” Jase teased, handing me a flute of prosecco and flopping down on the sofa.
“She’s stunning,” I said, looking up at Tony.
He gestured for me to sit down. “That was taken years ago. I should get an updated one, really. I don’t see nearly enough of her since I live up here.”
I sat next to Jase, and he put his hand on my knee. “You live here on your own?”
Tony laughed. “For now.”
“He keeps telling me he’ll work on it, but he never does. Too wrapped up in work, aren’t you, mate?”
Tony rolled his eyes. “Someone has to build the empire.”
Jase held up his hands, “Hey, I brought the product. Selling it wasn’t my job, we agreed on that.”
“Cara agreed on that,” Tony argued pointedly. “Did you open me a beer?”
“No. I didn’t know if you wanted that horrible grape juice you like or what. I’ll have a coke.”
Tony turned and got drinks while I looked around the room.
“What’s up?” Jason asked quietly.
“Nothing. It’s just weird, you’re my bosses.”
He laughed and kissed my cheek. “Not today we’re not. Relax. He’s my best mate. I want you to get to know him. I already know Haylie.”
Tony retrieved Jason’s can of coke and tossed it in his direction, and Jason had to act quickly to catch it. Laughing at his expression, he sat on the opposite sofa and said, “Please relax, Nathalie.”