by John Cabales
“So your mother was the whole reason?”
“Yes”
“She left you, but I’m sure she regrets it”
“No. she didn’t”
“I cannot help you because I’m not God. All I can say is that you should go back to where you are and accept everything. I know it’s not easy but someday it will be”. She stood
“When I’m in heaven I’d ask God to help you. Goodbye” she whispered and gone into my sight.
In the morning I packed my things up. I am planning to go home now. Even I still feel bad. When I’m driving home I heard a railing of the church’s bell. I stopped my car and I went inside I spend an hour praying. I prayed for the girl who had a cancer and had only 8 days of life who lit me through the darkness where I’m in for a while I prayed god to change the wheel of my life and turn everything’s right. When the mass was finished I refueled my car and have my long ravel again. The sun is burning and smiling I think and I know they missed me already.
When I arrived I parked my car in the garage. The house seems so silent I opened the door and still I found a quite atmosphere. “Mammoo?” I call her. I went into the kitchen and I saw her. Cooking I embrace her surprised and she screamed my name. She really missed me so much.
“I’m glad you’re back!” she said w/ her tears eyes.
“Yes I am”
“Okay. Just go to your room and have some rest. I know you’re tired. She said wiping her eyes. “I’’ call you after I finish cooking so we can eat together again.
I missed my room. I put my bag on the table and then I took a shower. I feel grease about my sweat. I wanna refresh my self after the shower I wore a white t-shirt and went down going to Mammoo and I never expect him to see. My father.
“August.” He said but I didn’t answer him.
I went closed to Mammoo.”Hey Mammoo is that already finished?”
I saw her eyes going to George “and answered me “Oh yes.”
I leave them and I sat into the table white I wait for Mammoo to bring the food. I heard them talking Mammoo and George. Yes I am back but it’s not easy for we to be fine at all right now.
We eat together w/ Mammoo. And George. But they are in silence. Until I broke it.
“He I wonder why you’re here” I said to George.
“I’d took a day off”
“Oh? That’s good! When will you coming back to work?”
“Maybe next week”
“That’s bad!”
“August?”Mammoo said.
“Okay” I said rolling my eyes and finished my lunch.
When I’m about to go into my room George called my name.
“What?” I said.
“You had already 2 14 days of absences. And you need to go to school.”
“What if I’m not?”
“I gave you the space and time to find yourself so it’s time to start your life again” His voice rises.
“Alright.” I screamed and I closed the door so hard to produce a loud banging sound.
My friends already know that I’m home. They are calling and texting but I ignore it all
I am awake in the infinite cold I felt last night and I read invisible words in the ceilings.
“It’s time to go to school!” when I’m in the shower I heard a voice in my mind saying “Face your fears”.
When I’m in school my friends really worried about me. They keep saying that I became a little thin they had embraced me tight when the saw me.
“You made us worried so much about you” Tiffany said Francis agreed.
“Where did you stay?” Asked Francis.
“In Marriott” I replied.
“And now that you’re back I hope you’re fine now” Said Carmeo
“No I’m still not. I still feel bad about everything”
“We Thought you came back because you’re alright” Said John
“It’s not that easy. I came home because I know that I can’t escape what is right and what is true” I paused for a long seconds “Let’s stop discussing this. By the way what’s new?”
I said. They were hush for a moment and then turned their look going to a lonely girl sitting in a corner. It’s Yhanna
“She Changed” Francis said
“What do you mean she changes?”
“She never smile anymore and she always not w/ herself.”
“I think it’s because of you” Carmeo says.
The bell rings. Time to go home.
“Let’s go guys!” I said.
We passed be along where Yhanna is sitting. I know her eyes is looking at me even I’m not staring at her I passed by w/ my friends like she where not there I’m ignoring her presence. And I feel like I am killing my-self. I missed her but I want to avoid her. When I’m home I feel so bored so I decided wash my car instead of commanding it Joe a moment later I finished washing the car. As I wiped my wet hands I heard a voice saying my name behind me I turned my sight behind and I saw her again.
“What are you doing here?” I said w/ anger in my tone.
“I’m very thankful that you’re back” My mother said.
“If you’re here to see me well you just better go home. You’re only wasting my time.”
“August, I’m here because I’m your Mother”
There’s a silence between us.
“Okay. You’re here because you are my mother. Yes you are my mother” I shouted devilry. “But I don’t need you.”
I continued.
“It’s alright w/ me. I will accept that you don’t need me anymore as your mother. I want you to know that I regret. “She paused. Wiping her tears going down her face. “But I can’t resist that I am the reason again of breaking your heart that should be not. I can’t take that I am the reason why your affair w/ Yhanna had ended. But I am telling you, you can still love her both of you can still continue your relationship w/ each other. you, you can still love her. Both of you can still continue your relationship w/ each other.”
“What? Are you insane?” I laughed at her.
“We are siblings and you want us to continue our wrong affair?”
“No” She sobbed “Because it’s not wrong. It’s right. Nothing is wrong.” she whispered softly.
Chapter Ten: FOR THE FIEST TIME
First, I don’t know what she meant. And when I caught what she turned to emphasize I because speechless, I want to speak but I can’t from an unexpected things that had happened into my lips, another one came it’s impossible. It’s unbelievable. I can’t believe this.
“Yhanna is not my real daughter, she is my friend’s”
She said.
“Are you walking so fun or what?”
“I’m not making some fun. It’s true”
I sighed up. Preventing my tears to fall.
“I had no chance to tell you it to you because you have gone” She added.
“She knows it?”
She Nodded.
I quickly got inside the car and turned in the engine. I am going into their house. I drive w/ a smile and excitement on my-self. I’m so excited to see and kissed her again. Though I can’t still believe about what Stephanie said. I briskly parked the car and gone in front of their door. I screamed her name.
“Yhanna!!”
Thereafter, she opened the door.
“August.”
we gazed at each other’s eye and finally I hugged her soft body. I hugged her tight. Like I don’t want to be away from her anymore, when I released my body from her I hold her hands. I feel the warmth again.
“I already knew about you. I already knew that you’re not Stephannie’s daughter. I already knew that we are not siblings or related. And I knew that we can love each other. Do you still love me?”
“Yes” She whispered.
I embraced her again.
She let me in of their house. Sir Herald was in the farm. Michael is playing a little ca
r. I sat on the table waiting for Yhanna. She cooked me some food and juice. When she’s back we begin our small talk.
“How are you?” she said.
“I became less bad when I knew that we can continue loving each other. How about you?”
“I feel sad.”
“Why? I’m already here and I’ll never leave again.”
“No. Not because of you. But because I’m not your mother’s real daughter”
“What do you mean?”
“I am mad because she’s not my mother. You know what, even though I am not related to her she had treated me as her real daughter. She had treated me as her on flesh and blood. Even If not and I had never thought I am not her daughter. But I am so very thankful of her.” She holds my hands.
“I hope one day you’ll let her become your mother.”
“What for?” I groaned.
“To let you know and feel what I am saying” she said.
I gave her a little nod.
While we talk, the door had opened and it was Stephannie who’s standing straight. Our eyes met for seconds only and turn out my sight. Yhanna saw her, too.
“Mom! You’re here” She stood and their embraced Stephannie w/ no doubts and regrets.
I stand up. I put my left hands on my product.
“I need to go. I cannot stay here any longer” I said as I hold my right hands into Yhanna’s I can’t resist to stay because of Stephannie.
“Okay take care” She kisses me on my cheek.
“Goodbye” I whispered kissing her forehead.
“When I’m about to open the door I heard Stephannie pronounced my name softly. I frozed holding the silver knob of the door through my right hand I didn’t turn my sight to see her. I just stay frozen waiting for whatever things she would like to say at me.
“I’m sorry for everything” the atmosphere remained silent. “Drive home safely” She whispered.
From that moment, I didn’t know what kind of gravity or force that had turned my-self opposite her Yhanna is looking at me. She is worried about the things that I would say. That would make Stephannie feel bad. But that’s not the thing that happened.
“Okay” I swallowed. Breaking the silence between us.
I am busy planning for a picnic date for Yhanna and I I’m in the sala. W/ George. He’s still in the house. I’m wondering why he’s not back in his work. And I’m wondering why he’s not back in his work. And I’m wondering why Mammoo still didn’t greet me a happy birthday. Even my friends.
I walked going to my room when I notice everyone is busy. Mammoo is not around she’s in the market today. I called my friends but they are not answering my call. Even my best friend, Francis I don’t know what’s going on this day this day is so weird.
When the clock strikes at 11 am. I took a shower. I wore a plain red t-shirt and a penshoppe pants. I want to go on w/ Yhanna that’s what I’ve been thinking that day. But it’s no need.
Mammoo knocked to my door. I opened it. Wondering why she had a make-up and looks nice today usually she doesn’t’ make her-self beautiful if there’s no special occasion.
I went downstairs w/ Mammoo. There’s a silence on every corner of the house. I only hear our footsteps. And I was shocked; everybody is there my classmates and friends. My subject teachers, Mammoos friends.The chambermaids.Sir Herald carrying Micheal.George infront of them, Stephannie and Yhanna. And they shouted “Belated Happy Birthday!” Together.
I turned my look at the table. Different delicious are on it. maybe I think it dishes plus a giant cake at the center of the table.
“Happy birthday” Mammoo had whispered say.
“Thank you so much, Mammoo” I hugged her
Yhanna embraces me; too I hold her hands and kissed it.
“Everyone! Let’s start the party!” Francis Screamed and a loud music played.
We drink cocktails. When the disco music were played all dancing and dancing. I still didn’t release Yhanna’s hands on mine. I can see Mammoo having a lot of for w/ her different friends and w/ my subject teachers. I see Sir Herald on the table w/ Stephannie and George. They are eating. With small conversations. Francis, Brett, Carmeo, Tiffany, Jonh, Evy, and James are having some friends, too. They are really enjoying the party. They dance like it’s no tomorrow. When Yhanna and I got tired of dancing I asked her to sit and eat where is rest for a while. The moment are sat, George and Sir Herald w/ Micheal turned the empty space into a dance floor. Disco music continues. I had never seen George like that. He really enjoys dealing w/ other people. Especially Sir Herald. He really had a big smile on his face and it seems like everything is alright. It seems that mother had happened. It seems that there is no problem. It seems that everything is normal. This is really a perfect birthday. And it seems to be unforgettable because I celebrated it w/ Mammoo, , with the presence of George and Stephannie. Although I don’t talked to them and I celebrated this birthday w/ my loving girlfriend. Stephannie was still on her seat. Yhanna beside her w/ me.
“Why don’t you join them?” Yhanna asked.
“No I like to watch them “she said.
“Go Mom. Join them. It’s August Birthday so everyone should enjoy this day.”
I feel a silence after I sliced a cake. Stephannie is looking at me.
“Yes. Why don’t you join them?” I gave her a little grin. When I grinned on her I felt that I can breathe no hard anymore. I feel the lightness of my heart. Stephannie snouted, too. She stood and finally joined the dancing crowd.
After Yhanna and I finished eating the cake and salad we stood up together and also joined them dancing all of us hyperly dance. I don’t want to end this day. Really I wanted it to stay like this I wanted forever. The cocktail drink that had Mammoo incented doesn’t made us drunk or poke.
I am really happy today. I really enjoyed my birthday. And I’m still washing that this won’t last. I can see big smiles on every faces. From MIcheal to the Oldest in the party. The deep resonant sound is still booming our hours. I cannot explain the joy after seven hours of dancing. We already feel the tiredness and pain in our feet. But others are still dancing I looked at my wristwatch. It’s already 8:21 in the evening. Quick time flies. I let Yhanna dance w/ others and I sat beside Mammoo on the table. I embraced her.
“What?” she said.
“Thank you for all of this Mammoo”
“I’m sorry, August. But I am not the one who planned your Party.”
“Then who?” I doubted.
“You father” she turned her sight then to George. “You need to thank him. He deserves it.” she added.
I went to a corner where George standing alone. Holding her pleasure I think our company needs him already. But he still chooses to be w/ us. He still chooses to w/ me for my birthday.
“Dad” I called his name that was really the first time what I called him “Dad” in my whole life. For the first time I embraced him and my eyes began producing salt waters. I see happiness on his face when I call him dad. And for the first time in my whole life again I made him cry for the first time I’d never seen him crying before. I thought he doesn’t know how to cry because all I knew he was a strong person. And was wrong even a strong person also cries.
“Thank you for this party, dad you really did a good job. I forgot everything.”
“This is really for you, August. Because I wanna make you happy. I know that I never played my role as your father but no I am going to be”
I embraced him so tight again. And I heard someone behind we saying my name. when I looked back it’s my mother.
“Happy birthday” She said.
I never hear knew my tears were already falling. A bundle of tears floating down. I run to her and hugged her and another for the First Time. Had happened in my life I Called her “Mom”.
Chapter Eleven: PANORAMA
However. Things are getting back to normal again like a broken mirror that had fixed by God. I am r
eally thankful of that dad spends a week w/ me I can call him now “Dad” we bonded for a week we laughed. With my Mom and her new family and with Yhanna of course. And after that week, dad went back to his work again.
In my room alone, I remembered the girl who had a cancer w/c enlightened my soul and mind. And heart. It is so sad that I didn’t ever thank her. It so sad that I didn’t know her name. It is so sad that I didn’t meet her family to help them if they are asking and it so sad that she is living no more. But I don’t want to be sad because I know she will be going to heaven. I remembered her farewell. She said that if she got in heaven, she’ll ask God to help me. I haven’t given a chance to thank this girl but I am praying for her.
I’m still preparing and arranging for the picnic date. I called the flower shops to provide flowers. I don’t have a problem about the food because Mammoo will cook for me
The next day I went to their house to pick her I knocked the door and my Mom opened it.
“Hi, Mom” I hugged her.
“You’re here.” She said while I’m hugging her.
“Yeah”.
She let me in.
“Just sit there. I will call Yhanna.”
She went into the room and Yhanna Bulge by the door.
“Hey” she said.
“Hi!” I kissed her forehead. “are you fine?” I asked.
“mmm… why?”
“Secret”
“Ah. Let me think…”
“Please. Please please.” Said w/ tenderness in my voice’s tone.
“Okay” she said finally. “But let me fix my-self first”
She went into the room again. A moment later I saw her so beautiful again. I hold her hands.
“Mom. We will go out today” I said.
“Okay” Mom consent. “Just take care of yourselves” She give us a kiss.
I opened the right door of my car for Yhana. When we are inside of my car she asked me again if where we would go but I didn’t tell her I stayed quite. I want to surprise her. This is a perfect day. There’s no gloomy sky. But a hot and shinning sun like the summer I drove going to our destination for about half an hour. Yhanna is still asking but I’m ignoring her. I look into her face. I think she’s not angry but she’s hungry I gave her a dark red apple.