by V. Theia
The presidential election didn’t shock Paige.
Nor did hearing that the Backstreet Boys were reforming.
But there had always been one voice to infuse fear and shock in her throughout her growing years and she couldn’t quite believe she was hearing it, not ten seconds since she let herself into her old apartment that night after her shift to collect some last-minute things and to make sure the power was turned off.
The huge shadow of her father stepped out from the bedroom, bringing Paige to a frozen halt in the middle of her empty living room.
Coldness oozed down her spine.
“Hello, daughter. You don’t look happy to see your old dad.”
Happy? Paige would literally rather see anyone else other than this man.
She’d wondered—dreaded really, when one of her family would turn up one day. It was inevitable with those people, especially if they wanted something. But she’d never reached out to them, not once, never with a birthday or Christmas card or a catch-up letter.
She didn’t know how he was here now or how he found her, but it wasn’t happiness that kept her feet rooted to the carpeted floor.
“Why are you here?” She spoke finally. The laundry basket half full of towels and bedding suddenly felt like cement and she placed it on the floor.
Her father always did present a striking figure.
He was tall, well over six feet with hair the color of wheat. Same as hers. Only now his was dusted in salt and pepper streaks at his temples and he was thinning on top. He’d put on a few pounds since she’d last seen him too, his belly hung lower over his belt.
He might dress like a hardworking cowboy with the boots, jeans and checked shirt but her father wouldn’t know a decent days work if it came up and bit him on the whiskered chin.
No, if there was a con to be had, then sure as shit he’d be in the center trying to make a buck. He’d turned his hand to most anything illegal over the years, especially drugs. But he was never one of those billionaire drug dealers, him being a good provider would have gone some way to making up for the shitty way he treated his family.
He’d been a two-bit dealer who spent more than he earned.
If there was a bread line of poverty then Paige grew up on it. If not for school, she probably wouldn’t have eaten some days.
Happy to see him? The man was nothing more than her tormentor.
Oh, she might be missing chunks of years from her memory, but she remembered him alright. He’d been cruel and manipulative all her life.
It’s time to earn your keep, Paige. Your mom and me can’t keep footing the bill for new shoes and school clothes for nothin’, you know.” Yeah, that was a great happy seventh birthday for Paige.
“Can’t an old dad drop in to see his daughter?”
“Dads who care? Sure. You? Not so much. What do you want? I don’t have money.”
The false smile dropped immediately. “Don’t be takin’ that tone with me, girl. You’ll remember who I am.”
Paige lifted her eyes, a boldness in her set chin even as her shaking fingers clenched together. “I remember you just fine, dad. And if you’re here now then it means you want something. Let me cut it short for you, no. Whatever it is, no.”
The dark laugh that followed scared her because though her father never in her memory laid a hand on her, he threatened her with the belt plenty of times to keep her in line. He was unpredictable in his tyranny and fear.
“You’ve grown a backbone since you ran away.”
“I didn’t run. I was in an accident and I left.” And none of you ever came to look for me. She added silently.
“An accident?” That smirk again and he started to walk casually around the room before turning his gaze on her once more. “Is that what he told you?”
Confusion became a rushed noise through her ears. Something wasn’t right. Not in her father’s sudden reappearance. Not his smirk or his weird statement.
“He who? I was in a car accident. One you and mom left me to deal with alone, thanks for that. I really felt the love.” It showed she’d been holding onto resentment when the words kept on rolling through her clenched teeth. “Did you know I lost my memory when you left me alone in hospital? I was unconscious for days. And you didn’t even care if I died! All this time you haven’t cared, so I don’t want to hear why you’re here now. How you know I’m here, nothing, dad.”
“Oh, this is fuckin’ rich, girl.” He laughed, standing over by the empty windowsill that overlooked main street. His voice carried through the empty space with an eerie echo.
Paige didn’t find anything funny.
“Lost memory and a car accident. Boy, did he play a fuckin’ number on you, girl. Just as always, willin’ to swallow any old fuckin’ affection like an idiot.” His words were even toned, the meaning felt like a bullet crashing into her midsection. A man didn’t always have to raise his hand to have his abuse felt to the fullest. That was her dad. Never a kind word when a slew of vicious ones did just fine.
“How’s mom?” She asked. Not really caring for the answer other than the woman had given birth to her, this ending their connection.
“Drunk as ever. Got liver disease and still a bag of fuckin’ hot air. Thought you’d turn out different from her, girl.”
Paige felt the pinch of old criticism rising up. Her shoulders went up around her ears. “I am different.” She told him. “I have a good life here, a job, friends, people who care about me.”
“And moving too…”
“How do you even know I was here? How did you get into my apartment?”
“I have my ways, girl.” He came across from the window and stood in front of her. She wouldn’t shrink under his commanding intimidation. She was no longer a frightened teenager without options.
“Did you come alone?”
“Is your brother with me, you mean?” Her father had varying tones to his voice. Each one could scare the pants off her, why else would she have done the things she had for him if not through absolute fear? The way he grated those words had her spine tightening and she glanced to the doorway expecting another surprise to clamber through. She had zero desire to see him either.
“Didn’t he tell you how he killed your brother?”
Some shocks weren’t so much a surprise as they were an inevitability. Though Paige gasped she wasn’t all that surprised. Not knowing who the type of people her father and brother associated with. They were not good people.
“What? When?”
Her dad sent her a withering stare. “Don’t show too much concern now when you haven’t been home in fuckin’ years to give a rats ass about any of us. Your mother was worried sick.”
Sure, Paige would believe that. When the moon turned rainbow and started pissing out skittles.
“When dad?”
“Before you ran away.” He informed. Paige frowned. No that couldn’t be. She had all her memories previous to her accident.
She’d learned early on, especially with her family, if something smelled fishy then it probably was. Her father had been in deep with the local gangs back then. Not quite mafia, but it wasn’t far off. He’d tried so hard to become one of them, when in reality he was a two-bit criminal being used by bigger men to do their dirty work with no reward at the end of it.
Looking at him now she saw no change whatsoever. If he was here looking for a handout then he was out of luck and she would eat her own tongue before asking Reaper for money to give to her dad.
“Look, I’m sorry, but I need to get home. As you can see, I don’t live here any longer.”
“Oh, I know where you live, girl. Do you think I couldn’t find out so fuckin’ easily.”
Unease slithered through her veins.
No. No. No. She couldn’t—wouldn’t have her family back in her life. Not now things were going right for her.
She turned on her heel, he could let himself out the way he broke in. She was done with this conversation. “I’ll see you,
dad.”
She got two steps to the door and a hand shackled her wrist painfully, dragging her around.
Oh yeah, now he looked mad. “Do you think you can walk away from me? You’ll remember your respect!”
“Get your hand off me.”
Amazingly he dropped it and Paige stumbled back, rubbing her wrist. “Gee, dad, it’s really nice to see you after you treated me like I was dead.” She snarked. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get home to my boyfriend.”
“Oh, this is going to be so fuckin’ good. Time for some home fuckin’ truths, little girl, that’ll wipe that superior look off your face. You always did think you were too good for us.”
Because I was. I am.
“Let me tell you all about your fuckin’ accident,” he spat, mottled red coloring his cheeks. “And listen good, Paige, how he killed my fuckin’ boy in cold blood.”
Frustration stabbed her. “Jesus. WHO are you talking about?”
Scorn filled her dad’s face. But also a look of pure joy as he delivered his next words in a soft, dark voice.
“Your husband, Paige. Your fuckin’ husband lied to you and killed my boy.”
Three minutes.
Just three short minutes of listening to her dad and Paige’s knees went out from underneath her.
Her world completely crushed beneath his taunting, gloating confession.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
“Watch how fast my life crumbles.” – Reaper
“You’re lying.”
“I have no need to lie.”
She sneered, scrubbing the fallen tears from her face before picking herself up off the floor. The same floor he’d left her on while he broke her into tiny pieces without an ounce of remorse. That was her dad. Emotionless, delivering verbal bullets at just the right angle to do the most damage to her heart.
“You’d lie to hurt me. You just said I was like mom. A disappointment to you because I ran away. You could no longer use me.”
“You cost me a pretty fuckin’ penny, girl. Don’t even try to fuckin’ back talk me right now.”
“I’m not a kid, what you gonna do, threaten to throw me out again? Not feed me? Oh, I know, offer me up to your friends to keep me scared and in line.”
“Watch that fuckin’ mouth. You know I never did that.”
“It’s my fucking mouth and I’ll do what I want with it.” Paige dared say and watched her father’s face darken. “I didn’t ask you to come here. I didn’t ask you to drop …this on me. In fact, I want you to go. Now. I want you to leave me alone.” It was sad yet enlightening that Paige meant every word. She didn’t want to be bothered by him, by any of her family. She didn’t want that darkening her new life. Only minutes in her father’s company and she felt like she didn’t know anything anymore and her heart hurt.
Oh, god her heart was hurting so badly.
Because she couldn’t believe him, could she?
What he was saying was complete bullshit. But something rang true.
Somewhere in the recess of her forgotten memories, something made sense and she was terrified to delve deep and explore.
To ask questions.
If it was true…
What then?
“Just go.” She croaked, holding her emotions in behind a wall of pain.
* * *
Heavy footsteps took him up the staircase leading up to Paige’s old apartment.
He was smiling after having seen the lights on from his ride by on the way home, figuring his girl must be picking up some last-minute shit, he had his own ideas to say goodbye to her place in a more carnal way.
Namely with Paige folded over that nice big windowsill in the bedroom while he railed her from behind.
Using his key, Reaper let himself in and came up short in the living room doorway after calling out her name to let her know it was just him.
The scene before him unfolded in seconds like a section out of a movie and none of it made him happy.
In fact he was downright fucking gutted as he took in the robust guy standing in the very middle of the room glowering at Reaper.
And his girl. His fucking girl being held up by the wall with her arms wrapped tightly around her middle, dried tear tracks on her cheeks and she was looking at him so emptily, he felt sick.
“So you finally fucking showed up.” Sargent spat out.
Reaper’s worst nightmare come true.
And his wife staring at him like she didn’t know him all over again.
The invisible punch was felt in Reaper’s torso.
He’d known this day would come.
He’d just wanted to be better prepared.
Now it was too late.
The walls shrank in, suffocating him.
Time had run out and the great sense of urgency clanged through his mind.
His feet wanted to track across the floor and take Paige in his arms because she was upset and that could only mean this jackass had said something to her as always to break his daughter.
“What the fuck have you done, old man?” He cursed, eyes blazing.
His fury in full effect.
* * *
“What you should have done a long time ago, you lying piece of murderin’ shit.” Sargent stabbed his finger at Reaper.
Reaper. The name she’d known him as for four years.
It came back to her that he hadn’t wanted her to use his real name.
“You’ve fucking hurt her again!”
“Are we listing crimes, boys? ‘cause yours are so fuckin’ long.”
“Stop it,” she croaked. Then louder. “Stop it, both of you!”
Both sets of eyes came at her.
One hurt more than the other and she couldn’t look at him.
“I need you to go, dad. Right now. You had no right coming here, not with your heart full of hate. I don’t want it.” She didn’t give him chance to reply. “Just go.”
He sniffed; his face twisted in his usual intimidating scowl. “I have business in town. But mark my words, girl, this one will lie to you until the cows done come home and when he does you can getcha ass home where you belong. Where you’ve always belonged.”
She heard Reaper’s growl clear across the room. It rang bells in her ears, caused her already clutching heart to cinch all the tighter.
“So you can use her as you always did? Fuck you, old man. I’ll see you dead before you cause her any pain again.”
“Dad, go!” She said louder.
Holding on by a thread, her head buzzed.
It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be.
Reaper would never lie to her. And her dad was known for lies, but as he’d sneered and took great delight in filling in the blanks of her missing years, she saw flashes and images of things she couldn’t know—she’d heard conversations that had never been in her head before and felt the emotion of them.
I really fucking love you, ladybug. You’re everything good I thought I could never have, but look at me now, the luckiest son’bitch that ever walked and I’m so damn grateful you’re mine and I’m yours. Always, baby. I will always, always love you.
It couldn’t be.
Her father, at all times needed the last word and he snapped at Reaper before he left, slamming the door heavy enough she flinched and locked her arms around her belly.
She’d had no idea why she’d felt the need to protect her middle as her dad began his tirade, but the overwhelming instinct rushed through her until she couldn’t stop her teeth from chattering and the only way she calmed was to curl her arms around herself.
“Tell me he’s lying.” She finally said, pleading in her voice.
Please tell me what we have wasn’t based on a lie.
“Paige…”
“Tell me he’s talking nonsense.” She croaked. “He lied my whole life, Reaper, so I’ll believe you.”
He sighed and tried to come forward until Paige held out a hand. She couldn’t have him touching her right now, she’d cr
umble into a million pieces and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to put herself back together again.
His frown killed her, but he paused from advancing further.
“I don’t know exactly what he told you.”
“But you know him, you know my dad.”
“Yes.”
The first sledgehammer hit her square in the belly. Paige forced in a breath and expected him to expand on his cryptic yes, but no more words came.
Just his intense gaze that looked just as sad as she felt.
“Jesus Christ, Reaper. Now isn’t the time for you to play your silent act. I need to know!”
He shifted on his boots, his hands hanging by his sides. She’d always loved looking at him. He had perfect aesthetics, from his long rangy body, to his defined muscles and abs sitting firmly under the skin of his torso. She’d always loved his nose and plump lips, but it was his eyes … oh, his eyes, that had drawn her in, because she realized now, that first day he looked at her like he’d known her for a lifetime.
It had felt so familiar, evocative and it was those eyes, as quiet as he’d been, that comforted her, made her trust him almost instantly.
“Baby, let me come and hold you.” He said, taking a step but she stopped him again and shook her head.
Reaper held onto an inhale for a very long time. “Ask me, Paige.” He said in a voice that didn’t sound like his anymore.
“Are you my husband?”
He didn’t even hesitate. That’s what she’d remember later when she was picking apart every word and emotion. He didn’t hesitate to answer, like he’d waited to say it.
“Yeah, baby. I’m your husband. You’re my wife.” Air appeared to deflate his chest as his eyes burned through her, there was no masking the love there. “I’m really fucking glad I can say it at last.”
She stared long and hard at Reaper’s perfect face and questioned every thought and decision she’d made in the time she’d known him.
Known him as in the last four years … not before.
Reaper was always paradise and passion wrapped up in something so familiar and brand new to Paige. Her comfort blanket who was there whenever she needed him and now it was torn to shreds leaving behind nothing that made sense.