“Are you that opposed to sex that you’ll cry about it?” he asked with a frown. Despite his question, he didn’t pull his fingers from my pussy.
I hiccupped and looked up at him.
“Nice touch with the dramatics. You’re almost believable,” the small voice said.
Will you shut the fuck up, you troll? I didn’t ask for your unhelpful commentary, I snapped.
“I just…this feels too similar to Stephanie,” I said. “I don’t want to end up like her.”
His expression softened as he pressed his lips to mine again, resting his forehead against mine. “I told you I won’t let anything happen to you. I made mistakes with Stephanie that I have to live with for the rest of my life. I won’t leave you alone long enough to let anyone get their hands on you.”
“You can’t be everywhere, Bennett.”
“And when I can’t be there, someone will be. I promise you’ll be protected 24/7. They’ll have to kill me before I let them get to my wife.”
I found the urge to cringe upon hearing that word. Once upon a time, I’d dreamed of the day I’d become someone’s wife. I always thought about being in a relationship with someone who loved me just as much as I loved them. I didn’t imagine being forced to marry someone who I hated, who’d hurt me repeatedly. To make matters worse, I didn’t imagine carrying a baby with a man who should be killed right along with his father.
Even if I left, I knew I’d still have to keep Bennett in my life for the sake of our baby. I knew all too well how it felt to grow up without a father because of his job. I didn’t want my child—our child—to feel that emptiness or abandonment just because I couldn’t put my own emotions aside for their wellbeing.
“I promise I’ll keep you safe,” he whispered before kissing me again. I forced myself to relax in his arms when all I wanted to do was fight him.
“Get used to holding back your own anger and just focus on the overall goal,” the small voice reminded me.
No shit, Sherlock. Since you want to talk so much, do you want to be present when he fucks me, too?
“I guess that’s my cue to go to bed.”
Exactly what I thought, I hissed.
Bennett moved to pick me up, but I stopped him. “That’s not a good idea actually,” I said, pressing my hand on his chest. “I just got my stomach to stop doing flips and the last thing I want you doing is bouncing me around on your cock.”
He looked at me for a long moment before he grinned. “Fine. Then I’ll fuck you in bed,” he said and turned off the shower, before grabbing my hand.
“That’s not what I mean, Bennett,” I protested as I pulled a towel off the towel rack. “I don’t want to have sex at all. I’m not in the mood.”
“Well, I’m not going to bed with blue balls, so I’m going to get off,” he said and continued pulling me to the bed.
“I want you to know you’re a terrible husband,” I said with a huff. He chuckled as he pushed me back onto the bed and hovered over me.
“Right, a terrible, inattentive husband.” He took my nipple into his mouth and pulled lightly before letting it go. “I’m sure you’ll tell me that just as much as you tell me that you hate me.”
“And I mean every word of it,” I said.
“I believe you, gorgeous,” he said and took my nipple into his mouth again. I stared up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the pleasure creeping over my skin, making me warm all over. I wanted to protest, to put me foot down so that he’d listen to me, but I couldn’t deny the fact that I wanted this. My body tingled for him to touch my clit, the head of his erection resting just centimeters above it. I rolled my hips, which made him grin.
“For someone who wasn’t in the mood for sex, you seem to be in a rush,” he teased. I frowned at him, watching as he swirled his tongue around my nipple before taking it back into his mouth.
“I’m not in the mood. I was just uncomfortable,” I said, squirming under him for good measure.
He let go of my nipple and smirked down at me. “Uncomfortable, huh?” He gripped his hard cock in his hand and ran the head of it up and down my wet pussy. “Does that make you more comfortable, baby?”
I glared at him. “Don’t be an asshole.”
“I just don’t get you,” he said and tsked. “When I give you attention, I’m an asshole. When I try to make my gorgeous wife comfortable, I’m an asshole. I guess I’ll just have to settle for being an asshole then.”
“Just stop teasing me and fuck me already,” I ground out, my core throbbing with need. He only smiled at me and went back to planting kissing on my skin, moving lower.
He spent more time than really necessary when he reached my lower belly, pressing what felt like a million kisses on my skin and whispering inaudible words into my womb. A part of me wanted to roll my eyes, but the smart part of my mind that I still held on to signaled that it was a part of his vulnerability that I needed to acknowledge and accept or else he’d wall himself back off.
“This isn’t a time for you to have a conversation with our baby when I’m fucking horny,” I murmured, running my hand through his hair. This interaction with him felt foreign and awkward. This wasn’t us, and I had no idea how the hell something like this could even become normal between us. We were pain, torture, hate. How in the hell could we birth pleasure, normalcy, and love into something that was built on something as chaotic as we were?
“Probably the same way he and Stephanie ended up together,” the small voice said. But I wasn’t Stephanie; Bennett made sure to remind me of that.
He looked up at me with soft eyes, something unfamiliar flashing through his gaze before he pressed a final kiss on my belly. I closed my eyes as he settled between my thighs. His fingertips grazed my inner thighs, sending chills throughout my body. He slipped two fingers into me at the same moment he took my clit into his mouth. My fingers gripped his hair tight as pleasure consumed me once more.
“You know, for someone that hates him so much, you sure do love being present for sex,” the small voice said.
Why not? You won’t.
“Well, yeah, because I hate all of him, his sex included.”
What a sad existence you’ll live then, I thought just as Bennett curled his fingers to hit my g spot.
“Ah…fuck I’m right there,” I moaned, moving my hips. “Faster…yes…fuck, yes!”
Just a few strokes in and I came apart in the palm of his hand, my legs trembling as he lapped up every drop I gave him. He growled deep and low as he removed his fingers. With a final long lick, he kissed his way back up to my lips and positioned himself to enter me.
“Wait,” I said breathlessly. He raised an eyebrow at me.
“What now?” he asked.
“I want to ride you,” I said.
He stared at me for a moment. “You just said you didn’t want to be bounced on my cock and now you want to ride me?”
“I know, but I changed my mind. Am I allowed to do that?” I asked as I smirked up at him. He only frowned at me in response and got off the bed. “Where are you going?”
He turned off the bathroom light and moved over to the door. When I realized he was turning off the lights, I pulled back the comforter and sheets on the bed and slid onto the cool sheets. The moonlight pouring into the bedroom showed his shadow moving over to the bed before I felt the bed dip with his weight. He settled next to me and pulled me closer to him. I straddled him before he could pin me to the bed, the moonlight illuminating his face a little as he looked up at me.
“If you throw up on me, I swear I’m going to be pissed,” he said with a frown.
I giggled and shook my head. “I won’t. Promise,” I said. I reached down between us and took his hard cock into my hard, stroking it a couple of times before sinking down onto it. His grip on my hips tightened as I slowly moved on him. I cleared my mind and gave him the release he wanted. Even though he wasn’t physically hurting me, he made it clear that I was still his little fuck toy that he could use an
y time he wanted. The word no still meant nothing to him, and I still didn’t have much of a voice behind closed doors, not that I’d expected much change out of him. As I looked down at the pleasure on his face as he finally came inside of me, I vowed that I wouldn’t feel bad when I eventually broke him. I may not be able to kill him physically, but I’d savor the moment I broke him, just as he did when he broke me.
He was gone when I awoke the next morning. Typical.
Nausea hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt as if I’d vomit if I dared to move. A soft knock came at the door before it slowly opened, Brittany walking in with a tray of breakfast.
“Good morning, soon-to-be mommy,” she sang as she kicked the door closed again. “I got some breakfast for you.”
I groaned, too sick to cringe in disgust at her new addition to my list of names around here. “I feel too sick to eat right now,” I muttered, putting a pillow over my head.
“Oh no, you’re still sick?” she asked with wide eyes, putting the tray at the foot of the bed and moving over to stand next to me. “Do you want me to get you something else?”
“Not right now. I’ll just throw up again.”
“You know Bennett will throw a fit if you don’t eat, right?”
“Bennett can kiss my ass,” I ground out.
She giggled. “Apparently doing that is how you ended up with your current bun in the oven,” she said, patting my leg before moving back to the tray and picking it up.
“Where is he anyway?” I asked as I slowly sat up, wrapping the sheet around my still naked body.
“In a meeting in the bunker,” she said.
“A meeting? He didn’t say anything about a meeting,” I said with a frown.
“I think it’s just him and the guys. He wanted you to eat and rest and told me to make sure you do.” She gestured toward the door. “I’ll get you something a little easier on the stomach. It’ll be just a few minutes.”
I nodded and watched her walk back out before I hopped out of bed. My stomach flipped and turned as I moved around the room quickly for something to wear. I quickly brushed my teeth and freshened up before pulling on a pair of panties and a sleep shirt that stopped in the middle of my thighs.
Saint stood in front of the door when I opened it. He looked down at me and nodded. “Morning,” he said.
“Morning,” I replied and closed the door behind me when I stepped into the hallway.
“Where can I escort you to?” he asked, falling in step beside me as I headed for the staircase.
“Wherever Bennett is.”
“He’s in a meeting.”
“I’m well aware of what he’s doing,” I replied. “I can’t get into the bunker by myself, so I’ll need you to take me to him.”
He only nodded in response, which was fine with me because I wasn’t in the mood to go back and forth with him. The closer we got to the bunker, the more I realized that I didn’t know why I was going to him in the first place. If he didn’t wake me for the meeting, it was probably one where I wasn’t needed. Unless…
Alright, cry baby. Since you always have so much commentary for every situation we’re in, it’s showtime for you now, I thought.
“Showtime for what? I didn’t agree to doing anything!”
You said I couldn’t be an asshole to him for our ‘plan’ to work, so I’m going to let you do the whole being sweet and vulnerable bullshit that I can’t be fucked to do.
“But…I don’t know if I can!”
You don’t have much of a choice right now. Nighty night!
Bennett’s voice carried out into the hallway as Saint and I made our way closer to the room. My heart pounded in my chest just from being in the bunker, memories of Hell week fresh in my mind. My dark alter scoffed in my mind.
“It’s literally been seconds since we switched and you’re already about to lose your shit,” it scolded. “Pull it together and do what you’re supposed to.”
I swallowed the rising bile in my throat as Saint knocked on the door.
“What?” Bennett snapped from the other side. Saint opened the door and we walked in, Bennett’s hard expression softening when he saw me. “Is something wrong?”
He sat around the table with KC, Bruce, Nyxin, and Josh, who all looked as frustrated as he did. I shuffled from foot to foot as he looked at me expectantly.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I finally said, my voice sounding weaker than I’d anticipated. “I just didn’t see you in bed. They said you were in a meeting, so I wanted to come.”
“Did you eat?”
“Brittany was going to get something else, but I’m too nauseous right now,” I said, finally noticing the other guys staring at me.
“Well, I’ll be back up once we finish down here,” he said, his voice tight with annoyance.
“I’d…rather stay down here with you,” I stammered.
“Good girl,” my alter complimented. “Now go sit on his lap like a good little pregnant wife.”
Okay, that’s pushing it.
“Not far enough. Now go sit. You have to be vulnerable first; maybe he’ll mirror your actions.”
I sighed inwardly and walked over to him and sat on his lap and curled into him, resting my head on his shoulder.
“Aww, how precious,” my alter snickered. I fought the urge to tremble in fear as his arms wrapped around me.
“You sure you’re okay?” he murmured before kissing my forehead. I nodded in response and remained quiet as he continued the meeting as if I wasn’t even there. “I don’t care what it takes. I want his fucking location as well as Brian’s.”
“I’m working as hard as I can, Bennett,” KC said with a sigh. “I can’t make information appear out of thin air.”
“What the hell is even going on right now? You weren’t this on edge yesterday; we were planning on leaving the fucking state yesterday and now you’re adamant on finding him right this second,” Nyxin asked. “Did he contact you again or something?”
“No.” Bennett’s hold tightened around me as he sighed. “Aurora’s pregnant.”
“You’re fucking joking,” Bruce said.
“No. The doctor confirmed it last night. The sooner I get this shit handled, the better.”
“Does Wilson know?” Saint asked. “If so, we’ll need to protect her 24/7 so that…well, you know.”
Bennett shook his head. “He doesn’t, but we’re going to protect her at all times anyway. It’s why I had you posted outside of the bedroom.”
“Well, congrats. The first baby of La Fedeltà,” Josh said.
“Let’s hope we all survive this bullshit before we start celebrating a baby,” I muttered. Bennett tilted my face up to look at him.
“We will,” he said, his voice firm. I only nodded in response and put my head back on his shoulder.
“Aww, look at him in protective Daddy mode,” my alter teased.
Isn’t that what you wanted?
“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it. It’s just weird on him. Nice to see he’s not a raging psycho all the time.”
But he’s always nice to kids, I mused.
“Yeah, yeah. Well, keep that vulnerable gate of his open,” it said before it went quiet again.
“It’s hard to pinpoint his location from his phone because he has it bouncing on towers all over the world. One minute it says he’s in Los Angeles, then in Romania, then in Texas, and now in fucking Africa. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a talented techie on his team now since he knows that you have me.”
“And you still can’t find an origin for him?” Bennett asked dryly. KC sighed deeply and turned his gaze back to his computer.
“I’ll try again,” he said.
Bennett turned his attention to me and frowned. “I need you to go upstairs and eat,” he murmured.
“Not right now. I still feel too nauseous,” I replied.
“You might feel better after eating.”
“Bennett, I’m not—”
&
nbsp; “You need to feed my baby,” he stated, his voice a bit firmer. “Go on upstairs and get breakfast. I’ll join you in a second.” When I frowned at him, he kissed me. “I promise. Give me five and I’ll be up there.”
“If you aren’t, I’m coming back down here and you won’t like it,” I said. He chuckled and let me go.
“Yes ma’am,” he said and looked to Saint. “Stay with her until I get up there.”
“You got it.” Saint gestured toward the open doorway. “After you.”
With a final look at Bennett, I sighed and walked back into the hallway with Saint. We walked in silence for the most part, but he stopped me before we walked through the door.
“Between you and me, you may want to be careful,” he said, his voice low.
“Careful?” I repeated, a bit confused. “I don’t understand.”
“These extreme mood switches you have. One minute the whole house can hear you say you hate him and the next, you’re curled up on his lap like some love-sick newly wed.” He looked back toward the conference room. “I know you’re pregnant and all and your hormones may be all over the place, but you should be careful. Playing with Bennett’s emotions never ends well for anyone, even if he’s in a relationship with them.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. He had some fucking nerve to try to warn me. “Wanting him to hold me doesn’t make me hate him any less,” I ground out. “And him holding me for five minutes doesn’t erase the weeks of abuse he’s put me through. He’d have to do a lot more than that to fucking erase the memory of murdering my parents and fiancée, raping me and my best friend, and psychologically abusing me for a week. So, unless you see me telling him that I love him or filling his head with false hope, don’t say a damn thing to me about ‘playing’ with anyone’s emotions.”
His jaw tightened as he eyes flashed with annoyance. “My apologies,” he stated firmly.
“Open the door, please,” I said, gesturing toward the locked door. He pressed his thumb against the keypad and the door clicked. I turned the knob and walked ahead of him, suddenly irritated. I doubted he told me that to truly “warn” me; he was probably reminding me to stay in my place. Bennett could say what he wanted when he’d said I just had to demand respect from everyone, but how could I do that when everyone had seen how he’d treated me? Even though Bennett called me his queen, everyone still saw me as his pathetic, weak pet who still had to comply to Bennett’s rules.
You Will Obey (Rules of Bennett Book 4) Page 11