"But if you have that kind of mindset, couldn't people say the same about you too?" she said.
I shrugged. "They could." I was quiet for a moment. "And maybe they'd be right."
She raised a brow at me. "You're not thinking of doing anything stupid, are you?"
"I'm just saying," I said.
"Well, if you do, make sure you leave me everything in your final will and testament, including my freedom," she said and giggled.
"Yeah, I did," I mentioned idly.
Her head snapped back over to me, her eyes widening. "What?"
"I said I did," I repeated. "Is the ocean too loud to where you can't hear now?"
She glared at me. "I heard what you said, you ass. But...what do you mean you already did?"
"Exactly what I said. When you signed the marriage certificate, I put everything in place."
"No, no, no." She shook her head. "I said including my freedom and you didn't object to that or correct me on it."
"Obviously."
"So, if something happens to you, then...I'm free?"
"Don't go getting any fucking ideas," I warned. "But with Wilson, you can never be too sure."
"You're right about that," she muttered, picking up her glass from the sand and finishing her drink. I thought back to all the events that'd happened since I first picked her up. We'd gone through a lot in the months we'd been together, so much so that it felt it's been longer than nearly a year since we first met. I didn't think she'd survive half the shit I put her through and now she sat alongside me as my wife, my queen.
I sighed. One thing I didn't want to be was like my father. It wasn't hard to see that my mother wasn't happy with him. I'd hear them arguing when they sent me to bed at night. I noticed how she hardly smiled at him, only when she was speaking to me. It was no surprise to why she found comfort in the arms of another man. I didn't want Aurora to stay because she felt she didn't have a choice. If I wanted it to be real, to see if it could really work, I had to give her that choice and deal with whatever came with it. Considering that we were having a baby, I could only pray that she chose to stay with me.
"I want to make a deal with you," I said.
She rolled her eyes and reached into the basket, pulling out the tray of fresh fruit. "Anytime you say those words, it's full of bullshit," she said.
"This one's serious," I said. She plucked a strawberry from the tray and looked at me, waiting for me to speak. "I should probably word it better. I want to give you a choice."
"A choice?"
"Can you stop repeating what I'm saying?"
She shrugged. "I just want to make sure I'm hearing you correctly," she replied.
"Yes, a choice," I said on a sigh. "I don't want you to feel as if you're trapped, or else this relationship could never work. I don't want you to think you're forced to love me or else this shit will always be weird."
"So, what's the choice?"
I swallowed hard. This could open the flood gate to something that would lead to devastation, or it could possibly turn into something beautiful. I was always a calculated man, but Aurora and our baby was worth the risk if I wanted our family to feel natural.
"When all of this is over, I'll give you two choices." I took a deep breath and let it out. "You can either stay with me and we'll be a family with our baby or...you can leave with only the money I cashed out from your business."
"Just...leave? What about the mafia? Our marriage?"
"If you want out, you'd be out completely. If you want a divorce, I'll give you that, too."
"But...why? You said you'd never let me leave," she said, confusion etched all over her beautiful face.
"Like you said, you don't belong here. And to keep you after the actual threat is over wouldn't make me any different from my father." I smirked at her. "Trying to turn over a new leaf and all of that."
"I see," she murmured. "Well, I'll worry about that when the time comes, I guess. It's a lot more complicated now that I'm pregnant. It's not like I can just walk away from you and never see you again."
"You could if you truly wanted to."
"As if you couldn't find me again," she said with a scoff. She was quiet for a moment before she looked back to me. "Thank you though."
"Why are you thanking me? I haven't set you free yet."
She gave me a sheepish shrug and soft smile. "Just for giving me the option to when you didn't have to." She waved her hand around. "And for this. It was nice to get away from the noise for a while."
"Yeah. I think we both needed it. Now we have to prepare for the final showdown."
"Are you ready for that?" she asked.
I had different feelings about killing my father. This was the last living relative that I had that I was close to. The man who raised me. The man who made me who I was. But he was also the same man who made me motherless, who put a hit on my girlfriend and had her murdered, who was actively trying to murder me and wife. No matter how I felt from a familial standpoint, it was either kill or be killed, and I have no plans of dying anytime soon.
"I don't have a choice," I finally answered. "He has to pay for what he's done. But enough about him. We're here to enjoy the beautiful beach and some quality time alone. I haven't had you completely alone since I got you." I waved her over. "Come here."
She moved over to me, settling in between my legs. Her warm back pressed against my chest as she leaned back. I wrapped my arms around her, my hands settling on her belly.
"You know I'll protect you at all costs, right?" I said, staring out at the water.
"I know."
"Even if it means I don't make it."
"Evil never truly dies, does it?" she murmured.
"Maybe, but people do. And at the end of the day, I still bleed like the next person." I tightened my arms around her. "While I'd like for you to stay and lead our family in the event something happens to me, I also want you to make your own choice. This life isn't for everyone, so the option will be there if you want it."
"I know. But I also know what I signed up for when I agreed to be queen," she said with a sigh. "And stop talking like that. You're killing the mood."
"You're right," I said, just as someone's frisbee landed on our blanket. Had Aurora still been sitting there, it would've been on her lap.
"Sorry, dude!" a guy with shaggy dark hair and rainbow swim trucks said as he jogged over to us. Aurora reached over and grabbed it, standing up.
"Go long!" she called out and threw it back.
"Thanks!" the guy shouted and ran after it.
I stood up and scooped Aurora up in my arms, grinned when she squealed in surprise. "What the hell, Bennett?" she exclaimed.
"Why be at the beach if you don't get in the water?" I mused and kissed her lips before carrying her off to the salty water.
Chapter 11
AURORA
Seeing Bennett this way was bizarre and slightly frightening, but also a little…refreshing. Today was the first time we’d really sat down and talked. Just talking about my old life, a life that seemed so far away now, just reminded me of everything I'd gone through in the last few months. But I was a bit nervous, though. Bennett spoke as if he didn't plan on being around much longer, almost as if he was anticipating his death.
“It’s not like we don’t wish he were dead,” my alter reminded me with a scoff.
You said you wanted to hurt him, not kill him. Besides, he’s the father of my baby.
“Fuck that kid and fuck him, too. We’re leaving when all of this is over, so I’d advise you not to create any kind of sick attachment because of this baby,” my alter snapped.
“What’s wrong with you?” Bennett asked, his brows furrowed. I looked up at him, gasping when he put my down in the cold water.
“Shit, that’s cold!” I shrieked. "But nothing's wrong with me. Why?"
"Because your face went through a shit load of expressions in just a couple of seconds."
"Oh." I forced a small grin. "I'm fin
e."
He chuckled and put his arms around me. "My little psycho queen," he teased.
"Fuck off, you asshole. If anything, you're the reason I'm like this," I fired back, playfully slapping his chest.
The playful expression left his face in a flash, which made my own smile falter. "Yeah, I know I did," he said with a sigh. "That's something that I'll have to live with."
"You don't have to act the way you do, Bennett. You know that, right?" I wrapped my arms around his neck, my alter growling in disapproval in the corners of my mind. "I know you have the ability to be the man that I think you can be. I'm sure you can be the man our baby needs you to be but you're afraid to. Why?"
"It's stupid to ask questions you already know the answer to," he said and frowned. We waded a little deeper into the water, but Bennett didn't go too far. When I looked back at him, he pointed at his pocket. "My phone."
"Then put it on the blanket," I said with a frown.
“Now’s not the time to miss any phone calls.” When I continued frowning at him, he shrugged. “I don't want to go to far anyway. Right here is fine."
“Is there something happening that I should know about?”
“Like what?”
“Whatever is causing you to treat this as if it’s a distraction from the real problem instead of you actually enjoying yourself,” I replied.
He clenched his jaw as he stared at me, putting his hands in his pockets. I always hated when he did that, as it told me that whatever he was about to say would piss me off.
“The last time we were out, Wilson hacked into all of my shit. I can’t afford to miss an alert or call from KC in the event that it happens again, especially since we’re alone.”
“Oh,” I said in faux shock. “I thought you were more than capable of protecting me.”
He didn’t find it amusing. “I am. If I didn’t think I wasn’t, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
“If you didn’t plan to get in the water, what was the point of bringing me over here?” I countered. He looked around at the waves lapping at his feet.
“Unless this is lava I’m standing in, I am in the water,” he said.
I snickered and kicked the water, splashing him. “You know what I mean, you ass.”
“I’m technically in the water though,” he said and grinned. “I don’t have to dunk myself in to be considered ‘in’ it.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” I said and walked a little further. It’d been so long since I’d been to a beach, even before I was taken. I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’d been in my entire life. After spending so much time running from the life my father tried to protect me from, I never felt comfortable doing this kind of thing. I was always so paranoid when I went out in public, especially by myself. It was nice to feel the cool water washing along my warm skin, though the smell of the salty air made me nauseous. I used to love the smell of the ocean, but this baby was already doing a number on me.
“Don’t forget you don’t have any extra clothes with you,” Bennett warned as I moved further into the water. “I don’t think sitting in wet panties would be very pleasant for you.”
“Oh, that’s rich. You’re never worried about wet panties when you’re the one making them wet,” I said, my voice flat. He only chuckled in response. Though I wanted to defy him, he was right. I didn’t want to get my jeans wet when I put them back on from wet underwear, nor did I want to bake in the sun as I waited for them to dry. Dealing with pregnancy symptoms was enough; I didn’t want to add sun burn to the mix.
I stepped back closer to him and wrapping my arms around him. “You’re annoying sometimes, you know that?”
“And you’re an asshole,” he said and grinned, wrapping an arm around my waist. “Every time I try to do something nice, you just tell me how terrible or annoying I am and call me names.”
“You’re not so innocent yourself, sir,” I countered.
“I know that much,” he said, his voice dropping a couple of octaves. Something unfamiliar sat in his eyes as he looked at me.
“What are you thinking about?” I finally asked.
“Nothing important.”
Shouting sounded a few yards away, a group of kids fighting over buckets and shovels in the sand. Their parents sat a few feet away from them, ignoring them for the most part as they drank beers and listened to the radio. I giggled.
“It’s almost as if we’re looking into the future,” I said.
“You’re already thinking of more kids?”
“I’m just saying in general,” I said and let go of him. One thing I’d noticed was that Bennett never really reacted to the pregnancy. I mean sure, he’d grown even more protective than he had before, but he never said how he felt. Then again, he wasn’t a man that talked much about his feelings. “You never talk about how you feel about the one you’ve already created.”
He squinted at me in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“The baby.”
“I know what you’re talking about. But what are you talking about as far as me telling you my feelings about it?”
“Exactly what I asked. I mean how did you feel when the doctor told you?” I asked.
He was quiet for a moment, looking out at the ocean. “Fucking terrified actually,” he finally admitted.
“Why?”
“It’s one thing to be responsible for myself or worried about others. A baby is completely different.” He exhaled deeply. “I can do many things, but I don’t know if being a father is one of them.” Looking back toward the blanket, he nodded toward it. “Come on.”
I followed him back over to the blanket, sitting next to him. He continued looking out at the water as his finger idly drew small circles in the sand.
“Why don’t you think you can be a good father?” I asked when he didn’t continue talking.
“How can I be a good father when I didn't have a good example?" he said looking over at me. "Even when I was a child, my father was never around. He was always working or disappearing for days at a time, leaving the nanny to raise me and Brittany. The man wants me dead for fuck’s sake. So how can I be a good father to my own child when I don't know what a good one is supposed to be?"
As much as I didn't want to, I actually felt bad for him. I could only imagine how hard it was growing up as a child in the mafia, and it was a reality that I wasn't too sure I wanted for my own child.
"When Stephanie told me she was pregnant, she begged me to find a way out. She always told me that she wanted a family, for us to get married. She said she didn't want to raise a baby in chaos, and things were definitely chaotic back then." He was silent for a few moments before he released a soft sigh. "I was so excited to hear that she was having a baby. It was almost as if that was the only thing I did right other than falling in love with her. I was so excited I told my dad, thinking that he would be happy for me.”
"He wasn't?" I asked softly.
He shook his head. "Instead of him being excited, he started telling me how distracting children would be at this stage of my career. He said that I should probably wait and possibly think about having her get an abortion.”
"Wow. Wilson really is a dick," I muttered, pulling my knees to my chest. A ball of dread sat heavy in my gut. If that was what he thought about children, it made me a bit nervous as to what would happen when he found out that I was pregnant. As if reading my mind, Bennett put his hand on top of mine and shook his head.
"He doesn't know about you. Even if he did, I wouldn't let anything happen to you."
"So what happened when you told him no?" I asked. "I mean I assume that you told him no if you were excited about it."
"We went back-and-forth about it for a few moments, but he finally gave in. He said if that was what made me happy, he would support me." He shook his head, his expression sad. "But I made the mistake of jokingly saying that I was gonna leave the mafia one day to be a dad. He didn't like that too much."
"I can
imagine," I murmured. "Would you have really left?"
"I would've tried my hardest. That was what she’d wanted, and all I wanted was to make her happy."
We sat in silence for a while, watching the waves roll in as we were both lost in our own thoughts. Hearing him open up for the first time made it so hard to see him as the monster I knew him to be. Now he was just…a man still dealing with a broken heart.
"Don't let a sob story get you off track," my alter hissed.
I'm not. But you can't say that his story isn't super sad.
"I'm not in the business of feeling sorry for people who have wronged me. And you’d do good to do the same."
"Well, I think you're going to be a great dad," I said with a light sigh. He looked over at me with a raise brow.
"What makes you say that?"
I shrugged. “Because I know you would try to be everything your father wasn't to you. So I know you'll do your best to do right by our child."
"Yeah," he murmured. "I guess so."
I looked down at my reddening skin. "I think we better head home. If we stay any longer, I'll start to burn."
He nodded. "Let's eat really quick and we’ll get back on the road," he said and passed me a turkey and cheese sandwich with all the fixings.
"For someone so worried about not being a good dad, you're awfully protective and caring of them already."
The soft smile that formed on his lips nearly melted my heart. "Is it a crime to want you to eat?" he asked.
"No. I was just saying. You really shouldn't doubt yourself."
"That means a lot coming from someone who thinks I'm a maniac, a monster, and an overall bad guy."
I playfully rolled my eyes. "I just said that you shouldn't doubt yourself, not that you were the greatest guy on the planet for being concerned," I teased.
He only chuckled in response and took a huge bite of his sandwich. "This is good. You should try it."
I took a bite of the sandwich, the fresh lettuce and tomatoes giving it a satisfying crunch. He and I ate in silence, both of us looking out at the water in deep thought. My mind went over everything he’d said since we’d been here. The possibility of freedom made my skin tingle with anticipation. But well he said that I could be free, what would it really cost? He never said I could leave with the baby, and I would be stupid to think that he wouldn't continue to track me through my chip long after I was gone. It was something that I needed to think on long and hard, as I could (couldn't) just think about myself now that I was pregnant.
You Will Obey (Rules of Bennett Book 4) Page 17