“You’re my son, Bennett,” Wilson groaned, his breaths coming out short and quick. “I just wanted what was best for you. I’ve always wanted what was best for you.”
“No.” Bennett shook his head. “I should’ve known you were up to something when you sent me to get a woman who looked just like my murdered girlfriend. I’ve been blindly following you for years and it’s done nothing but led to losses that I don’t know I’ll ever recover from. You’ve made attempts on my life more than once, even planting the very man you were going to pay to kill me.” His eyes flared with anger. “You’re no father of mine.”
I jumped when the gun went off. Bennett’s face was blank of emotions as he emptied his gun into Wilson, only stopping when the gun clicked. Wilson lay lifeless on the floor and it was as if a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. It was over. No more having to look over my shoulder No more having to wonder when someone was going to attack us. No more threats from Wilson or his men. It was finally over.
Bennett let out a deep sigh as he finally lowered his gun and bowed his head. I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel killing the man that gave me life, raised me, and then betrayed me. “Let’s get this cleaned up,” he murmured. The men all jumped into action, but Bennett stopped me when I moved toward them. “Go check on Giselle. We’ll handle this down here.”
I nodded, kissing him briefly before leaving the room. One of the men left with me, walking me to the door to unlock it. When I entered the main house and closed the door behind me, tears burned my eyes.
I was sure of my decision now. Whether or not Bennett would be able to handle it would be a different story.
Chapter 14
BENNETT
Numb.
That was all I felt when I shot him. When I burned his body in the fire pit. When I became fatherless.
I was the last to leave the fire pit, long as the sun had set and cast the backyard in darkness aside of the bright moon in the sky. When he took his last breath, it was like a dark cloud finally left. There was no one sending veiled threats anymore and no one to attack us by surprise. The little boy in me that loved my dad was sad that it ended this way. He was the last blood family member I had until my child was born, but it was a sacrifice I would make again and again if it meant that my child would be safe.
After a few more moments, I finally crossed back across the grass, walking until I was in front of Stephanie’s grave. I looked down at her smiling picture, a small grin on my lips. “We did it, darling,” I murmured. “Maybe now I can live my life the way you told me to.”
Nothing I did would bring her back, which only made me come to terms with the fact that I did all these things to make myself feel better, not to avenge her. It was why I still felt a bit empty even after the people responsible were dead. Vengeance and revenge didn’t fill those voids. I was slowly learning that the only thing that would fill it was to fill it with something else. And my something else was a wife and a baby.
“I think it’s high time that I let you go,” I said with a sigh. “Wish me luck with Aurora, will you?”
I pressed a kiss to my fingers before pressing them to her picture, walking away feeling a bit optimistic about the future. Aurora said that her mind was in a good place, so it felt positive. I’d already booked our surprise Hawaiian getaway to leave in a couple of days, and I was anxious to be able to freely enjoy my wife. We had the whole world at our fingertips now without having to be cautious of Wilson or any of his other idiots. Things are going to be fine, I thought with a smile on my face as I entered the house.
Or so I thought.
The moment I entered the bedroom, I knew something was wrong. It wouldn’t have been out of the ordinary for Aurora to be emotional, especially after what’d happened with Wilson, but Giselle also being inconsolable made me nervous.
“What’s going on?” I asked, slowly closing the bedroom door.
“I…don’t…want…Aurora…to…go!” Giselle sobbed, hiccupping between each word. Aurora wouldn’t look at me, only murmuring to Giselle and promising she’d come visit her. I stood here there, a bit confused. We’d just had a conversation a few hours ago and she’d said her head was in a good place. How did that result in her wanting to still leave?
“What’s she talking about?” I finally asked her.
“Just give me a few minutes to calm her down and we’ll talk,” she said, still not looking at me. I ground my teeth and walked out into the hall, Giselle’s wailing becoming louder the longer Aurora stayed in there. A dangerous storm of emotions swirled inside of me. Maybe I read all the signs wrongs. Maybe visiting me in the hospital was something she thought she had to do. Maybe everything she did that made me think she was finally coming around was something she thought she had to do. In her eyes, she was only a prisoner, one who’d been conditioned to bow, break, and obey me. My heart surprisingly ached in my chest. Perhaps I felt something for her after all, otherwise, the thought of her leaving wouldn’t be crushing me.
Aurora finally stepped out into the hallway after half an hour, wiping her eyes. “Should we go somewhere and talk?” she asked, keeping her voice low. “Giselle’s sleeping.”
I took her down to my office, grinding my teeth the whole time. I closed the door behind us when we entered. “So, you’re leaving,” I asked, walking over to the front of my desk and leaning against it.
“I’d like to, yes,” she said, finally meeting my gaze.
“What changed?” I asked. I was usually good at reading people and everything she’d been doing made me think we were on the right track. Sure, she wasn’t in love with me, but I honestly thought she was giving it a chance just like I was.
“Nothing’s changed, Bennett.” She sighed. “I’ve always wanted to leave. There hasn’t been a single day that’s gone by where I haven’t wanted to leave.”
“I thought we were trying to work on things—”
“Yeah, when I thought I had no choice,” she interrupted. “You’d told me that you had no intentions of letting me go, so I thought I just had to suck it up. But you finally gave me a choice and I’ve chosen.”
I sighed inwardly. “I just don’t understand. I mean you being there for me when I was hurt and just…everything we’ve been through together. You’re pregnant with my kid, Aurora.”
“It’s not like we’re in love, Bennett. This marriage, this pregnancy…it all happened out of circumstances that were out of my control. Is a forced family what you want?”
“No! It’s why I’ve been trying to fucking be better for you so that you can see I wanted this to be real!” I exclaimed, becoming frustrated.
“You’re the one who gave me the choice, Bennett,” she said. “Are you going to keep your word or are you going to try to go back on that, too?”
I stared at her in disbelief. “So, you really want to leave?” I asked again. Maybe I’d heard her wrong. Maybe this was just a fucked-up hallucination that I was having from the pain medicine. But the longer I stared at her and realized that I couldn’t snap myself out of this scene, I knew it was real.
“Yes, I want to leave,” she murmured.
“I want you to really think about this, Aurora,” I said, angry that my voice cracked as I spoke.
“I’ve thought about it a lot at this point. Let’s be honest with each other, Bennett. How can I even begin to love a man who has done all the things you’ve done to me?” A single tear rolled down her cheek. “You keep mentioning the baby, but how do you think I’ll feel when I look at this child and know that they’re living proof of what I’ve endured by your hand? And when they ask about you, how can I tell them the truth without exposing the monster that you are? That I don’t know if they were conceived during a rape? How do I explain to them we have no family because of you?”
And there it was, the hammer that shattered whatever heart I had left. Her words cut deep. Maybe she was right. We were doomed from the start. I didn’t deny that what I’d done to her was forgivable, but I’d sincer
ely hoped we could work through it. I thought making progress to changing would help, but sometimes you could cross a line that you couldn’t come back from. There was a strong possibility that I’d never see her or my kid again if she walked out the door, and maybe that was for the best. Wilson had screwed me up in more ways than one; perhaps I was bound to do the same thing. At least if my kid wasn’t around me, maybe they’d have a fighting chance of making something better of themselves. If it was a boy, maybe being away from me would make him a better man than my father was. A better man than me.
I forced myself to keep my emotions from my face, but inside I wanted to scream. “I guess you’re right,” I finally said softly. “When do you want to leave?”
“Tomorrow,” she answered quickly.
“I’ll prepare your things then,” I said. She nodded and exited the office without another word, leaving me in silence. Just like that, my entire life shattered around me. I couldn’t explain the emotions crashing in one at a time as they all morphed into one heavy feeling of abandonment. Emptiness. Loss. At least with Stephanie, I knew she was dead and no amount of changing would fix that. But Aurora would still be walking the earth along with my kid, and I’d have to live with the fact that while she was alive, she didn’t choose me.
She just didn’t choose me.
I spent the entire night working on getting her things prepared, working on autopilot. As long as I stayed busy, it wouldn’t hurt so much. If I didn’t think about it too much, I could stave off the reminder that I was going to be alone soon. I printed out the paperwork she’d need to sign before leaving and took it upstairs in the bedroom. She and Giselle were curled up together asleep, the site along bringing tears to my eyes. I’d never be able to see her do that with our own child. When I defeated Wilson, I thought I’d finally be able to get everything that I thought I’d lost forever when I lost Stephanie. Wilson was right about one thing though.
Bad guys didn’t get happy endings.
I put the paperwork on the nightstand on her side of the bed and turned off the lamp that was still on. Sitting down next to her sleeping form, I sighed deeply and bowed my head.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you need me to be,” I murmured. “Maybe this is my punishment for all the wrong I’ve done. After everything I’d done to you…I was stupid to think I deserved any kind of happily ever after.” I looked down at her sleeping face, her eyes puffy from all the crying she’d done this evening. “But I hope you’re able to find yours, wherever you end up. You deserve that.”
With one last look at her, I stood and leaned back down to press a kiss to her temple before walking back out of the bedroom.
“Are you going to say goodbye?” Bruce asked as he stood in my office. I shook my head and ran a tired hand down my face.
“Probably best if I don’t. What time is she leaving?” I asked.
“They’re heading to the car now,” he replied. I stood from my chair and walked over to my office window, looking down to see Aurora, Brittany, Savannah, and Giselle in the driveway out front. They all wiped their eyes as they hugged each other, Brittany and Savannah rubbing Aurora’s belly one last time. Aurora looked back at the house, her eyes falling on me in the window. She lifted her hands to give me a small wave, but I couldn’t bring myself to return the gesture. I walked away from the window and sat back in my seat.
“Just let me know when she’s off the property,” I said with a sigh. Bruce nodded, a look of concern in his eyes but he didn’t say anything, only leaving my office and closing the door behind him.
I’d avoided Aurora all morning, remaining locked in my office. I couldn’t bear to see her knowing that she was leaving. The guys tried to reassure me that she’d be back, but I wasn’t so sure. Everything she’d said to me yesterday had been true. I couldn’t expect her to forgive me and pretend to be a happy family just because she was pregnant. Our whole relationship was made up of my rules, but it looked like she had her own rules in the end.
I bowed to her when I made her my queen.
I broke for her when I was prepared to lay down my life to ensure she and my child were safe.
And she destroyed me when she still decided to leave, no matter how hard I tried to right the wrongs I’d done against her. I played right into her game and she won.
She fucking won.
I went back to the window just in time to see the car she was in make its way down the driveway, watching it until it went outside of the gates and disappeared down the road. I said a silent prayer, begging that whatever God out there saw me worthy enough to listen to. Let her come back to me. If it’s meant to be, let her come back.
I threw myself into my work. Every second, minute, and hour blended into another two months, but it didn’t make me miss her any less. It was weird to walk through the house and she not be anywhere around. She’d been here for nearly a year, but I’d forgotten what it was like before she’d gotten here. It felt just as empty as it did when Stephanie first died. Except this time, there was no blood to clean up or bloody furniture to replace. Instead it was just a house full of memories. Every night I went to bed next to her empty spot. She was even tormenting me in my dreams. The dreams were so real sometimes that I’d wake up and think I could smell her light perfume until I realized that I was alone.
Unable to sleep, I slowly sat up in bed, wincing as a dull throb settled at my shoulder. I reached for the bottle of pain pills on my nightstand and shook out two, popping them into my mouth. I downed the bottle of water I had on my nightstand before putting my head in my hand. When I wasn’t working, I’d lock myself in my bedroom. It was hard to see Bruce happy with Savannah and everyone else living life completely unaffected while I felt as if I was falling apart inside. You can’t be mad when you’re the one who gave her the tools to destroy you, I reminded myself. But it was what I had to do. In order to build a relationship that was real with her, I had to give her the choice of staying or going. Otherwise, I’d be in a relationship just as my parents were. My mother didn’t love my father; I wasn’t sure if she ever did at one point, but I know I didn’t want that kind of dynamic. I didn’t want Aurora to have to pretend or “suck it up” as she put it. I wasn’t mad that she’d made the choice to leave; I guess I was just…sad.
My bedroom door slowly cracked open, Giselle’s little head peeking in. When she saw me sitting up, she entered the bedroom, holding a white bunny rabbit I’d bought for her. “Uncle Benny, can I sleep in here with you? I’m scared in my new room,” she said, her voice small. I’d fixed up one of the smaller rooms for her down the hall once Aurora left, but it was pointless. Giselle ended up in bed with me anyway because she was afraid of sleeping alone. There were many mornings when I’d wake up to either find her curled up in the ottoman or at the foot of my bed. While I wouldn’t have minded it so much, Giselle moved a lot in her sleep, which led to my shoulder getting kicked or hit a couple of times a night.
“Would you like it if I brought your bed in here?” I asked. She nodded. I slowly stood, the pain medicine slowly taking effect. She followed me to her room and watched as I dragged her little princess bed out of her room and all the way to mine. I placed it near the closet, only a couple of feet from my bed. “That better?”
She nodded and climbed back into bed. I pulled her puffy purple comforter over her and kissed her forehead. She grinned up at me, rubbing her sleepy eyes. “Is Aurora gonna come back one day?” she asked and yawned.
“I don’t know, little dove,” I said with a sigh. “I hope so.”
“Me too. I want to see her baby.” She yawned again. “Good night, Uncle Benny.”
“Good night, little dove,” I murmured. She rolled over and held the bunny close to her, damn near falling asleep instantly.
I padded back over to my bed and laid down, closing my eyes to try to get some rest myself.
The next morning, people were cheering as I walked out of my bedroom. Giselle’s squeals of glee made my heart race in my chest.
Had Aurora come back after all? I forced myself to remain cool as I descended down the stairs to see what had everyone so excited. My bubble of hope burst when Saint looked at me and grinned.
“Well, don’t be so upset to see me,” he teased.
I chuckled and walked over to him. It was great to see him on his feet again. There was a point in time where things weren’t looking so good for him. “I see they finally let you out,” I said, giving him a brotherly hug.
“Yeah, finally. I almost thought I had to break out of there,” he joked and hugged Giselle tightly. “I’ve missed my princess so much.”
“I missed you, too, Daddy,” she said and hugged his neck again. “You can’t go to sleep ever again!”
“Better make good friends with coffee then,” Bruce said and chuckled.
“I’m glad you’re back. We had to pretend to be friends with Josh until you got back,” Nyxin said and chuckled.
“Yeah, fuck you too, Nyx,” Josh threw back.
“I think we should have a BBQ or something to celebrate the dream team being back together,” Nyxin added, throwing his arms across Saint and Bruce’s shoulders.
I nodded, fighting the urge to remind them that another member was missing from the dream team. Saint looked around. “Is baby girl still asleep? I wanna see that belly of hers. I’m sure she’s showing by now,” he said.
“She’s not here,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck.
“You actually let her out of your sight for five minutes?” he asked in faux shock. “I guess you’re turning a new leaf after all.” When I only stared at him, his eyebrows raised in slight surprise. “Wait…she’s like…gone gone?”
“Yeah,” I murmured. “Gone for two months now.”
“Damn,” he said. Though he looked like he wanted to say more, he didn’t. Besides, now wasn’t the time. Everyone looked at me, as if waiting for me to show any kind of emotion, but I couldn’t.
You Will Obey (Rules of Bennett Book 4) Page 22