“You’ve always thought I was a little touched in the head,” Justin said, sipping the whiskey. It was his second glass and he was going cautiously. He needed a clear head. Especially to keep count. He was giving Gabriel exactly two minutes, and then he was going after the man. He didn’t want his lover out of his sight longer than necessary. Colton might have his plans and be happy to cross The Company to help a friend, but that didn’t mean they didn’t have plans to get their hands on Gabriel.
“This is more than touched. You’re running with the Reaper? What the fuck!”
“So?”
Colton shook his head. “I thought when you left it was because you wanted to actually retire and live the good life. Not because you’ve got some kind of death wish. Are you even sure you can trust him?”
Justin grinned broadly at Colton. “I can trust him like I can trust you.” That only got him a roll of the eyes.
“I’ve always watched your fucking back,” Colton grumbled.
Which was true, but Justin was sure that it was because their interests had always run in the same direction when they worked together. At least so far.
Colton ran schemes on the side, collecting a paycheck outside of what he was earning from The Company. Justin had known that about the man almost from the beginning. Colton was like too many other agents that he’d met in his time with the CIA. His number-one interest was always going to be Colton. He was always going to be looking for an angle that helped him out first.
And right now, Justin wasn’t sure exactly how Colton was going to benefit from helping him and Gabriel.
“Look, I know you’ve got some something sweet working with the guy. It took being in the room with you two for only five minutes to see it, but you’re letting your dick do your thinking for you.”
Justin pushed off the wall and slammed his glass down on the counter, closing the distance between him and Colton. “What the fuck are you getting at?”
“Man, he’s playing you!” Colton said, wincing afterward as if he was suddenly afraid that Gabriel might overhear him. “You think you’re the first man he’s conned into thinking he’s his great love. He’s been doing that old ploy since his first fucking partner in the SVR. Ivan something, I think. He strings them along, gets them to take risks and stick their neck out so he doesn’t have to. And when he’s done playing, he kills them.”
Folding his arms over his chest so he didn’t punch Colton, he leaned his hip against the counter. “You done?”
“You’re smarter than this shit. He’s playing you. He’s either going to use you as a goddamn shield to protect himself when the shooting starts, or he’s got some other scheme in the works. Either way, you’re toast.”
“Colton, I appreciated the assist when The Company was on our tail, but I’m not gonna sit here and listen to this bullshit.” Justin pushed away from the counter and started to walk back toward the door that would lead to the first floor where they’d parked the car. Gabriel’s two-minutes were nearly up, and he didn’t have the stomach to listen to Colton any longer.
Were there a lot of things that he didn’t know about Gabriel and his past? Sure. But the same could be said about himself. He knew Gabriel down in his soul, felt like he’d truly known the man since their lips first touched so many months ago. Fuck Colton and his warnings. Gabriel wasn’t out to con or hurt him.
Colton hurried around Justin and stepped in front of him, blocking his exit. “Look, even if you left, I still think of you as one of us. I’m just trying to protect you.” He placed a heavy hand on Justin’s shoulder and squeezed. “If you trust him so well, you ask him about Peter Sampson and Warren Roeble.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Justin grumbled. He started to walk away, but Colton tightened his grip on his shoulder. Justin looked up at him, raising both eyebrows.
“You know, we had some fun too.”
“Yeah, and that’s all it was. Fun. Tomorrow night?”
Colton released him and stepped aside. “I might not trust the guy, but the world is better off without Nicolai Krestyanov. I’ll be there.”
Justin jerked open the door and walked out of the office, the rubber soles of his shoes crunching softly through the dirt and grime that covered the old concrete floor. He needed some space between him and Colton. He hadn’t been expecting the man to make a pass at him, particularly after he commented that he knew that there was something going on between him and Gabriel. Fucking douchebag.
He needed some fresh air. To get the fuck out of there. He started down the metal stairs but stopped suddenly when he found Gabriel standing in the center, his back against the railing and his arms folded over his chest. There was zero expression on his face save for the same muscle ticking in his jaw. He was grinding his teeth again. Had been since they first spotted Colton.
“Ready to go?” Justin asked, resuming his descent.
“Definitely.” Gabriel straightened and led the way to the car.
“Are we gonna have a long talk tonight when we get somewhere safe?”
“You can bet your ass we are.”
And God help him, Justin couldn’t stop his grin. Oh, he deserved to be totally reamed over not telling Gabriel about the phone call from his old boss, but he had a feeling that Gabriel was also dealing with a hefty dose of jealousy. Justin was also willing to bet his left nut that it wasn’t something Gabriel had ever dealt with before. He was just grateful he was walking behind Gabriel because the man would have likely punched the shit out of him if he could see his smile.
Oh, tonight was going to be fun.
Gabriel sat on the edge of the bed, trying to ignore the sounds of Justin moving around the tiny hotel room. It had been well after dark when they located a place that was out of the way and forgotten enough that they could use it for the night. Even after paying the manager a small ransom to forget he ever saw them, Gabriel wasn’t sure how much he’d be able to sleep that night. His ears strained at every little sound—real or imagined—fearful that they’d be discovered and gunned down before they could even get to Nicolai’s home.
But even with those nagging fears, he couldn’t get Colton’s easy smile and hints of familiarity with Justin out of his mind. His brain kept needling him, wondering exactly how well they knew each other and if Justin missed the man. Did seeing Colton again stir up old feelings? Was seeing him again a big wake-up call that Gabriel wasn’t worth all the trouble and danger he’d brought into Justin’s life?
Oh, and he’d caught more than enough of Colton’s warning to Justin as he returned to the office. The man definitely wanted Justin back, and he was only too happy to sow seeds of doubt in Justin’s brain.
Not that Colton was exactly telling lies about his past. But Gabriel should have been the one to tell Justin those things. Not fucking Colton.
He flipped the pages of Nadia’s journal, reviewing the same information for what felt like the tenth time, but he really didn’t see the words there. He brain was conjuring up images of Colton and Justin together.
“I said I was sorry.” Justin’s tone indicated that it wasn’t the first time he’d said the words, but Gabriel hadn’t heard it—he’d been too lost in thought.
“You’ll have to be more specific. What are you sorry about?” Gabriel said, closing the journal with a snap. He looked up to find Justin standing in the open doorway of the tiny bathroom. His hair was still damp from his shower. He was wearing only a pair of briefs, giving Gabriel a wonderful view of his wide chest. His eyes strayed down to the side that held a small scar from where he’d extracted the bullet and sewn him up again when they were in Cincinnati. The wound on his thigh had improved with no signs of infection. Justin was even moving better now, more smoothly, as if any lingering pain was gone.
“Oh? You think I have multiple things to apologize for?”
“Undoubtedly, but let’s start with the big thing. What the fuck were you thinking, not telling me about the threat you received?” Gabriel slapped the journal do
wn on the nightstand and stood. It felt better to stand so that he could glare at the man in the eyes. “It’s not enough that we’re hunting down my family—all of whom are trained killers—but you decide to leave out the fact that the Americans might take exception to you being in Eastern Europe.”
“I’m sorry. I should have told you,” Justin conceded solemnly.
But it wasn’t enough. The rational part of Gabriel’s brain knew it should be, but after months of running, fighting, and drowning in fear and anger, he couldn’t heed that rational voice. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me?” He got right up in Justin’s face so that their noses were touching. “Why?”
“Because you would have sent me home!” Justin shouted, forcing Gabriel to take a step backward.
“You’re damn right I would have. These people don’t want you here. They’re going to kill you.”
“And you’ve got a hell of a lot of people trying to kill you. I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
“I don’t need more people, like the fucking CIA, trying to kill me,” Gabriel snarled.
“I know and I’m sorry.” He shoved one hand through his hair and paced away from Gabriel to the far side of the room. “I told myself we could sneak in and out. That we’d be careful, and no one would notice me. Yeah, I lied to you and I lied to myself. It was stupid, but I couldn’t take the idea of not being here with you for this.” He swung to look at Gabriel, dropping his hand back to his side. “When you left me in London this past fall, did you even think about how I’d feel?”
“Of course I did!” Rage flared to life in his chest. Of course he thought about Justin. The whole reason he’d left the man behind was because he’d been thinking about him and his safety.
“Really? Did you even wonder what I was going through? Stuck at home, knowing that people were hunting you. I saw that firsthand in London. And what? You left me at home because you didn’t think I was good enough to help you?”
Gabriel pointed at Justin, trying to stop his words. “You know that wasn’t the reason!”
“That’s how it felt. You ran off to deal with this shit on your own because you didn’t trust me to watch your back.”
“Fuck you! I didn’t want these bastards to kill you! I already lost Ivan to them. I was not going to lose you too!”
Justin marched over to Gabriel and grabbed both of his arms. “You’re not the only one who’s lost people. But at least let me go down fighting. Don’t leave me stuck on the sidelines, always left wondering whether you’re still alive. Wondering if you’re ever going to return to me.”
“Justin…” His name slipped from Gabriel’s parted lips, broken and rough. All the anger left him in a rush. Maybe he’d been trying to protect himself as much as he’d been trying to protect Justin. The man was amazingly skilled. He couldn’t think of anyone else who he’d trust more to watch his back and keep him safe. But he’d pushed him away because the thought of losing Justin was absolutely paralyzing.
“I’m sorry, G Love. It wasn’t meant as a betrayal. I just didn’t want you to leave me behind again.”
Gabriel pressed his forehead against Justin’s shoulder. He closed his eyes, hating the ache in his chest. Why the hell did love hurt so damn bad? This couldn’t be the thing that people wrote so many happy, sappy songs about. “Can’t lose you. Need you more than vodka and air.”
The whiskers on Justin’s jaw scratched his own, feeling as if the man was smiling. “Vodka and air. Sounds serious.”
“It is.”
“Sounds like you can’t live without me.”
He loved the teasing lilt in Justin’s voice. Wanted to hear it all the time. That alone was better than vodka.
“Definitely looking that way.”
Strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him in so that their bodies were flush against each other. Gabriel lifted his head, meeting Justin’s eyes. There was still a sadness lingering there, but he was smiling again. The sadness probably wouldn’t disappear until this mission was over and they were on their way back to the United States, putting Gabriel’s past behind him once and for all.
“Well, then…” Justin said with a long, extravagant sigh. “I guess it’s a good thing that you are very stuck with me.”
“Even though your friend is convinced that I’m using you and plotting to kill you?”
Justin winced, but he didn’t release Gabriel. “Heard that, huh?”
Gabriel pushed out of Justin’s arms and walked over to the bed. He sat down again, trying to ignore the lumps and what he was sure was a spring poking up through the padding. This was going to be a very bad night of sleep, indeed.
“You’ve slept with him.” Gabriel made it a statement, but he was hoping like hell that Justin would deny it and make it a damn convincing denial.
Justin rolled his eyes a little. “I’m pretty sure you knew you weren’t my first.”
Okay, so Gabriel was now revising his plan. He was going to kill his father and then swing back through Moscow to shoot Colton. He’d sleep so much better at night if that man was dead.
Gabriel dropped his face into his hands, pressing his fingers into his eyeballs to rub away the dull ache that had started behind them. He didn’t want to admit it, but Colton was hot. Too damn hot. Even through the heavy coat, Gabriel could make out the guy’s broad shoulders and powerful chest. His jeans had been molded to thick thighs. And then his face was something like you’d see in Hollywood. Of course Justin slept with him.
“This is really bothering you,” Justin said. He could hear the surprise and puzzlement in his voice. “I thought it was just irritation from the CIA thing that spilled over onto him, but you’re still upset about Colton.”
The bed shifted next to Gabriel, but he didn’t want to look up to see his lover’s expression as he sat next to him. He felt like a fucking idiot. Jealousy was not something he’d had to tangle with before. But then, after Ivan’s death, any of the men in his life had been incredibly temporary. As in a single night. There had been no one to get to know, to wonder if they had feelings for another person. No one to compare himself to and feel incredibly inadequate.
Strong fingers wrapped around his wrist and carefully pulled, forcing Gabriel to lift his face and look at Justin.
“We fucked twice. We had missions a few times together, and it was just a little fun. I haven’t touched him in years.”
“Nice image,” Gabriel muttered. He started to look away, but Justin pinched his chin between his finger and thumb, forcing him to meet Justin’s gaze.
“The point is that he isn’t even in the same league as you. No one is.” He dropped his voice as he leaned in until his lips brushed against Gabriel’s. “Why would I want a pretty tool when I’ve got the sexiest, smartest, and most honorable man coming home with me?”
“Really?” Gabriel asked, absolutely mesmerized by Justin’s voice and touch. God, this man could weave such a spell over him, wiping away the rest of the world.
“Oh, yeah. And you are coming home with me when this is over. Home to stay.” Justin kissed him slowly, again and again. Each time he increased the pressure, licking deeper into Gabriel’s mouth until their tongues slid against each other in a dance that dragged a moan up Justin’s throat. Fuck, he missed this. The building heat. Each touch hungrier than the last, as if they couldn’t get enough of each other. But then, Gabriel knew he would never get enough of Justin, never tire of the man.
“I know it’s fast,” Justin whispered. He broke off the kiss and dragged his lips across Gabriel’s to nibble at the corner of his mouth. “We’ll probably drive each other crazy, but I need you living under the same roof as me, sleeping in the same bed as me. I know I’ll go crazy if you don’t. I’ll be over at your place all the time. I’ll camp on your front lawn if I have to.”
Gabriel found himself grinning. “I’m sure that would endear you to the neighbors.”
“Oh, neighbors love me.” Justin kissed along his jaw to his neck.
/> “It’s probably better if we live together. It’ll be easier on the cats if they weren’t being moved around.”
Justin pulled away and narrowed his eyes at him. “Cats? As in plural? As in you want more than one of those big Norwegian monsters?”
Gabriel was impressed the man remembered their discussion about cats after all the insanity they’d been through over the past several days.
“At least two. They need to keep each other company when we’re otherwise occupied.”
“Nice save.” Justin sat back a little, smiling at Gabriel. His fingers moved carefully along his cheek as if he couldn’t stop touching him. “There was never anything with Colton. I look at you and there’s no one else. I can’t imagine wanting to be with anyone else.”
Gabriel swallowed hard, a different kind of pain starting to burn across his chest. Okay, so maybe this love thing wasn’t so bad. He definitely didn’t want to be with anyone else. “You’re all I want. And I have never said those words before.”
“Not even to Ivan?”
“It never felt like this with Ivan.” He paused and licked his lips, looking away from Justin. He didn’t want to speak ill of his first lover, but what he felt when he was with Justin didn’t even compare. “He made me feel normal and appreciated for who I was for the first time in my life. First person to ever make me feel attractive. To feel needed. Accepted.”
“What about Peter Sampson?”
Gabriel groaned and flopped back on the bed. What a way to kill the mood! But it was better that they got this shit out in the open. “Peter Sampson was a fucking target,” he growled. He narrowed his eyes on Justin. “Are you going to tell me you never seduced a target to get close to him or her?”
Justin made a show of sighing and thinking. “Well, maybe once or twice.”
“I had to go on four fucking dates with the bastard before he finally took me into his home and gave me access to the info I needed. We didn’t have sex. Just jerked each other off a couple of times. Then I put two bullets in the back of his head and was out the door. Same with Warren Roeble, though he was only two dates and a blowjob.”
The Exit Strategy Bundle Page 43