For a celebration, the mood had been subdued and strained. There was no missing that Devlin was still struggling with the loss of his husband. The work had been a great distraction. And the threat on his life forced him to focus on staying alive and protecting Jake. The work was now done, and the threat would be removed very soon. Devlin could no longer escape the fact that his husband was gone, and Gabriel knew he was hurting.
What was surprising was that Justin seemed to be struggling with something as well. Gabriel didn’t know if he was picking up Devlin’s mood or if the scuffle at the grocery was still on his mind. Or maybe it was that they didn’t have a definite culprit in their sights yet.
Either way, Gabriel found himself frowning when Justin passed through the kitchen while Gabriel was mopping the floor—more freaking flour—to tell him that Devlin had taken Jake to bed and he was jumping into the shower.
For himself, cleaning the kitchen was his own mental reset button. He felt bad for Devlin. He couldn’t imagine what it was like to lose a husband. Years ago, he’d had his first lover, Ivan, stolen from him by his homophobic family. He’d seen the tape of the man being beaten and tortured before he was finally shot in the head. There was still a hole in his heart over Ivan. At one time, he’d been sure that he’d never care again. That he’d never be able to feel joy and hope again.
And then he met Justin.
The man had bullied his way into Gabriel’s life and heart.
With Ivan, there had been joy at no longer feeling alone. Joy at someone wanting him, accepting him for exactly who he was.
But with Justin, it was so much more. He felt complete in a way he’d never felt before. Even when Justin was driving him crazy and he wanted to strangle the man before another word could fall from his lips, Gabriel was also sure he didn’t want to be anywhere else. That he didn’t want to miss that next word. He didn’t want to miss anything Justin said or did. He looked forward to all their moments together.
Justin shuffled into the kitchen, wearing only a pair of sleep pants. He smelled of coconut soap, and his hair was sticking up in different directions. The frown marring his face made it clear that the shower had not helped to lift his mood.
“I think I’m just going to bed,” he mumbled. “Things might make more sense after some sleep.”
“Wait,” Gabriel said, grabbing his hand before he could walk away.
“What?”
Tucking his phone into his pocket, Gabriel tugged Justin toward the deck. Once he got him outside, he released his hand and bent down to plug in the little white lights they’d hung in the trees and around the deck, creating an almost magical glow. Justin had put them up on a whim not long after they’d moved in, but they’d never gotten the chance to use them. There was always another job they were rushing toward or something else on their to-do list that needed completing around the house.
“What are you doing?” Justin said with a weary sigh. “It’s dangerous out here. Can we do this tomorrow?”
“No, we can’t.” Gabriel grabbed his phone and thumbed through the music until he came to a song he’d downloaded months ago, when he’d been traveling alone through Germany and missing Justin. He pushed play and turned up the volume before putting the phone on a nearby table. A slow, bluesy song wrapped around them from the band G Love and Special Sauce. Because of the nickname, the band carried a special place in both their hearts.
Justin’s expression softened and he gave Gabriel a sappy smile. “G Love,” he whispered.
Gabriel opened his arms. “Dance with me?”
“Every chance I can get.” Justin stepped into his embrace. Their palms slid against each other, while Justin wrapped one arm tightly across Gabriel’s shoulders. He wrapped his around Justin’s waist, pulling him in close. They did little more than rock back and forth to the rhythm of the song, but Gabriel soaked in the man’s warmth, the smell of his skin and hair. He could feel their hearts beating against each other as if trying to get closer.
“When I was alone in Europe, I would listen to this song over and over again before falling asleep. It was the only thing I could think of to feel closer to you. I was terrified that I would never have this moment.”
Justin lowered his head, pressing his face into Gabriel’s neck. “I’ll always be there for you. And you’re definitely not allowed in Europe without me again.”
“I’ll always be there for you. So why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you?” Gabriel whispered in Justin’s ear, pausing to press a sweet kiss to his fleshy earlobe. Here, he thought Justin might feel safe enough to whisper his fears to him.
“Devlin.”
“What do you mean?”
“How…how does he keep moving? How is he even functioning? I keep thinking about what it would be like if I lost you. What if I’d not been there in time in Germany? Or what if the assassins that hit you at the grocery store hadn’t been complete idiots? I think about you not being there the next day and I can’t breathe. The ache in my chest is crippling. I don’t want…I don’t want to move. I don’t want to live…”
“I feel the same way,” Gabriel said. He brushed more kisses along Justin’s jaw and down his throat until he felt some of the tension start to flow out of his frame. The hand holding his own loosened a little, no longer threatening to crush his fingers. “You’ve become my everything. But even if you were to die tomorrow, I’d find a way, because I know you wouldn’t want me to just curl up on the floor and stop living.”
“Is that what it was like when you lost Ivan?”
“A little. I felt mostly rage then, at him and my family. I felt alone without him. Losing you would be so much worse. But I would still find a way to keep going, like Devlin is. He is finding a way to keep moving for Jake. And eventually, he’ll find a way to live for himself.”
“Or maybe I can just cover you in bubble wrap and not let you outside,” Justin suggested. “That would keep you safe.”
Gabriel chuckled. “Maybe. But then we wouldn’t have this moment right here. Dancing under the stars to our song.”
Justin lifted his head enough to look Gabriel in the eyes. His smile was a little wider, a little freer than it had been a moment ago. “How the hell did I miss that you were such a romantic?”
“You bring it out of me. I would never have considered myself a romantic…until you.”
“Thank you for this,” Justin murmured. He brushed his lips across Gabriel’s in a sweet kiss he could feel down to his toes. When Justin broke off the kiss, the smile was still there, but so was the sadness in his lovely blue eyes.
“What we do is dangerous. We don’t know if we have another twenty minutes or twenty years together, but we shouldn’t waste a second that we have. Even if I must lose you one day, I want as many wonderful memories with you as I can get. I want dancing under the stars and shootouts in warehouses. I want running through London with you as much as I want special moments like meeting my nephew for the first time with you.”
“You’re too perfect. You’re killing me,” Justin moaned.
“Slowly, though. I want as much time as possible with you.”
“I love you, G Love.”
Gabriel made a little purring noise in the back of his throat. The song had ended, but they were still swaying to the sound of the breeze through the leaves and the crickets. “Show me. Take me to bed and make love to me.”
Justin stepped out of Gabriel’s arms and picked up the phone. He handed it over to his lover before unplugging the lights. Without saying a word, he led Gabriel by the hand into the bedroom. Gabriel slipped away for a moment and took a shower, getting rid of the grime, sweat, and stink from his grocery escapade before returning to the bedroom.
The lights had already been turned down and Justin was under the covers, his sleep pants now on the floor beside him. Gabriel still had a white towel wrapped around his hips, but he dropped it on the floor on his side of the bed. His heart was hammering like a thing gone mad in his chest. Everythi
ng was happening so slowly, so deliberately. Whenever he had sex with Justin, there was usually a frantic, desperate edge to it, as if they couldn’t get close enough or come together fast enough.
There was nothing frantic or fast about the way he tossed back the blankets and crawled into the bed. He kissed Justin slowly, exploring every inch of his mouth. He could have sworn he’d memorized everything about him, but he was sure that he’d never noticed the plumpness of his upper lip before or how he loved to tangle their tongues together before retreating, luring Gabriel in for the chase.
Cupping his face with his left hand, Gabriel kissed and nibbled along Justin’s jaw to his strong, thick throat. Justin remained still except for the occasional little shiver, allowing him to explore every inch of his flesh. He ran the tip of his tongue along a thick scar that he was sure he’d never noticed before. It felt like it had been caused by a rope, and he wished he could kiss and lick it away.
Justin shifted, pushing Gabriel onto his back on the pillows. Gabriel blinked and looked up at the man hovering over him, muscles straining under golden, satiny skin. He was so beautiful. His own golden Adonis with burnished hair. An Adonis with a wicked grin that promised so many wonderful, dirty things.
“What dirty things are running through that brain of yours?” Gabriel drawled.
“I was just thinking about how sexy you are. Like my own personal devil.”
Gabriel chuckled. “Well, I do like whispering tempting ideas in your ear.”
Justin swooped down, making sure to rub his bare chest against Gabriel’s, wringing a shiver out of him before their lips met in a bone-melting kiss. A low moan rumbled up Gabriel’s throat, and Justin immediately swallowed it down. He loved Justin’s hunger. The man could consume him completely.
Shifting his hips, Justin brushed his cock against Gabriel’s thigh, the tender, rigid flesh rubbing against the coarse hairs on his legs until Justin hissed with pleasure.
Gabriel broke off the kiss, gasping for air. “Feed me your cock. I want to taste you.”
Grinning broadly, Justin carefully placed his knees on either side of Gabriel’s chest while grabbing the headboard with one hand to steady himself. Gabriel slid lower on the pillow, moving into better position. With one hand on the base of his cock, Justin carefully directed it so that the tip brushed against Gabriel’s lips. Gabriel eagerly licked the pre-cum smeared there and opened his mouth. His tongue slid along the head, bathing it in warmth and wetness. Justin moaned loudly, pushing farther into Gabriel’s mouth in short little thrusts. He moved slowly, tormenting himself and giving Gabriel time to adjust to his thickness.
With both hands, Gabriel grabbed Justin’s ass, pulling him forward until his nose brushed Justin’s pubic hair. Relaxing his jaw, he breathed in Justin’s clean and musky scent. Saliva was already dribbling down his chin and his jaw gave a little throb, but it was perfect. He loved the feel, the taste of Justin. And then he swallowed around the head of his cock.
“Fuck, G Love,” Justin ground out between clenched teeth. “I’m planning to fuck you still.”
Gabriel moaned his pleasure, the sound massaging Justin’s dick even more. Justin gave a little thrust and pulled back. With his free hand, he threaded his fingers through Gabriel’s hair and slowly fucked his mouth.
“You’re so fucking sexy. So amazing,” he whispered, his voice rough with desire and emotions that Gabriel didn’t want to put a name to. Didn’t want to think about. His only goal was to make Justin absolutely mindless.
Gabriel hummed again and Justin’s eyes rolled into his head. “Fuck!” he snarled. He increased his thrusts, being careful not to gag Gabriel but there was still an edge to his movements, as if he were just barely holding on to control. “Love my dick in that smart-aleck mouth of yours.”
He ached to make a smart-aleck remark in reply, but he couldn’t speak and that was the point. No sass. No snark. Just his tongue bathing Justin’s thick cock while pre-cum slipped down his throat.
Before he could finally inch his fingers to Justin’s hole, Justin pulled out of his mouth and climbed off him. “Get the lube,” he ordered. The rough, take-no-prisoners tone had Gabriel grabbing his dick with one hand to stave off his orgasm while searching for the bottle of lube with the other. Oh yes, he was going to get fucked.
When his fingers finally closed around the bottle, he practically threw it at Justin. He shifted on the bed, trying to get to his knees. Gabriel loved getting fucked from behind. The feel of his powerful thrusts, the weight of Justin’s body on his, pushing him into the mattress. It was ecstasy.
But Justin grabbed his knee as he tried to move and forced him onto his back. “You’re not going anywhere. I’ve not had you in my mouth yet.”
“I’m not going to last with you sucking my cock. I want to come with you inside of me.”
Justin grinned at him and Gabriel could feel a tremor of excitement skitter along his nerves. “Such a bossy bottom.” He moved down the bed until he was between Gabriel’s legs. His strong hands massaged his calf muscles and slid slowly up his legs. Tension released, but there was a new tension hovering just beneath the surface that Justin was creating. It had Gabriel clenching his teeth.
When he reached the backs of Gabriel’s knees, he pushed his legs up to his chest. “Hold these.” Without a word, Gabriel placed his hands where Justin had held him, keeping his thighs pressed close to his chest. Anxiety spiked. He felt trapped like this, but it was all forgotten with the first swipe of Justin’s tongue across his cock. He cried out, bowing off the bed as much as he could, but he could barely move in that position. Justin pressed one hand against his thigh, keeping him in place. He meticulously worked his way down his cock, licking and sucking until Gabriel could feel his dick throbbing in time with his rapid heartbeat.
Justin moved lower, licking and sucking one ball and then the other. That crafty, wet appendage moved down his taint and slowly circled his hole. There was a pause and he thought he heard the cap of the lube being opened, but he wasn’t sure. His heart was pounding in his ears, and his breath was sawing in and out of him in short, labored pants.
One finger pressed inside of him, and Gabriel swore at the feeling of relief. The lube was cool against his skin but seemed to instantly heat. Justin slowly worked his finger in and out while his damn mouth returned to his balls and dick. When he finally pressed in a second finger, Gabriel cried out in a mix of pleasure and pain. He needed to fucking come, and Justin was toying with him.
“Stop playing around and fuck me!” Gabriel snarled.
“I’m prepping you.”
“You’re torturing me.”
Justin smiled at him, but Gabriel didn’t miss the sweat building on his brow or the line of need digging into his handsome face. “Fuck me, baby. I don’t want to come until you’re inside of me.”
Justin pulled his fingers out and then shoved them back in, this time adding a third. Gabriel howled at the burn, trying to escape and take him deeper at the same time. “Anything else you want, my bossy bottom?”
“Yes,” Gabriel hissed. “I want you to fuck me hard. Tomorrow, when I move, I want to think of how you owned this body.”
He must’ve finally said the right words, because Justin shifted enough to lube his cock. He teased Gabriel for a moment, pressing the head against that tight ring of muscles but not entering him yet. Gabriel sucked in a breath to curse Justin again, and his love shoved in deep, knocking the air right out of his lungs. Gabriel lost his hold on his legs and he reached for Justin.
Oh God, he was full at last. The shaking, empty neediness was gone. Gabriel whimpered and he didn’t care what Justin or anyone thought. He was willing to trade his soul to never lose this feeling again. He slowly became aware of Justin moving up his body, wrapping his arms around him so that they were pressed against each other.
“This what you wanted?” Justin teased.
“Don’t ever leave me,” Gabriel choked out. He wrapped his legs as tightly as he could ar
ound Justin’s waist and locked his arms over Justin’s shoulders. They couldn’t move and for now, Gabriel was content to just have Justin buried deep inside of him.
“Never,” Justin whispered before taking his mouth in a searing kiss.
In that moment, Gabriel was sure that the man pressed against him owned him completely—heart, body, and soul. He never thought he’d find someone he trusted enough, loved enough, to hand himself over so completely, but Justin was it for him.
After nearly a minute of lying like that, Justin started shifting his hips. Little pulsing thrusts, teasing nerve endings and building the fire that had banked just a little bit while they kissed. Gabriel panted and canted his hips, finding that perfect angle so that Justin was now hitting his prostate with unerring precision.
“Oh, God! Baby, harder. Please! Harder!”
It was all Justin needed to hear. He broke free of the death grip Gabriel had on him and slowly withdrew, allowing Gabriel to feel every damn inch of his thick cock, before slamming back inside of him. Justin set a brutal pace. The slap of their skin echoed through the room above Gabriel’s pleading and cries of pleasure. Every time he reached for his cock, Justin would bat his hand away. Gabriel tried to curse him, but each fucking thrust was pegging his prostate. The orgasm was coiling up in him so tight he could barely breathe. Justin kept him teetering there on the edge, never letting him go over.
“Please,” he whispered roughly.
Justin’s grin was feral and possessive, and Gabriel loved it. “Come for me. Strangle my cock with your ass.”
Gabriel finally wrapped his fingers around his aching dick. He was so damn hard it hurt. Two strokes. Two strokes and he was coming. Muscles clamped down on Justin, holding his dick in a vise. Justin tried to fuck him through it, but he was soon crying out. Heat flooded Gabriel’s body and he shivered at the fragmented thought that he’d pushed Justin over the edge.
The Exit Strategy Bundle Page 62