Of Birds and Beagles

Home > Other > Of Birds and Beagles > Page 10
Of Birds and Beagles Page 10

by Leslie O'Kane


  “Then what happened?” Mom asked.

  “Shirley was furious, thinking Kelsey had deliberately thrown a poisonous meatball into her yard. So she got carried away, threatening Kelsey.” Frank turned and faced Kelsey. “She was upset because you’d nearly killed her dog.”

  “Okay, look, that’s not—” She stopped and put her hands on her hips. I didn’t throw a poisoned meatball in her yard, okay? After Malcolm picked up Fang from my yard, I put some meatballs on my side of the fence. For the squirrels to find and eat.” She scanned our stony expressions. “I can do what I want on my own property. It’s like putting rat poison in your basement. You shouldn’t have to get a government benediction, or whatever you want to call it, in order to get rid of vermin from your own property.” She shrugged. “But I guess a squirrel must have picked up one of them and got it only as far as Shirley’s lawn. So...no big deal. Her dog didn’t eat it, and neither did the squirrel. Nothing bad happened.”

  “And yet you lied to the police about it,” I pointed out.

  “Initially. I panicked. I figured they wouldn’t believe me about Tracy’s stupid lawsuit, and I’d wind up losing my house and everything I own.” She started crying. “Everybody would think I’m just some animal-hating lunatic who tries to go around killing dogs. All I wanted was to get rid of the squirrels. I’d already fixed my mistake. I collected all the meatballs and shoved them down the garbage disposal. That was the end of it. And I explained all of that to the police last night. They understood.” She glared at me. “I wish you’d never told me about squirrels being omnivorous.”

  “I wouldn’t have, if I’d had any idea you’d be so outrageously irresponsible. You can’t possibly even have all that many squirrels in your yard whenever Fang is there. Furthermore, how were you going to make sure Fang didn’t eat the meatballs the next time Malcolm put him in your yard?”

  “I planned to remove them first thing in the morning. And I also warned Malcolm about them, just in case. That’s why he picked up Fang. So I solved my own problem with his barking. Malcolm said he was never going to bring Fang over again.”

  “I don’t blame him,” my mom said. “Poisoning squirrels in your uncovered yard is not like rat poison in your basement. You could have killed a neighbor’s dog or cat, or wildlife.”

  “Shirley and everybody else in the neighborhood knew to keep their pets out of my yard. I’m sure she was trespassing to set me up. She propped the dog door up and put a trail of acorns leading to it. Not to mention her making Toofroo pee on my carpet. I’m sure she invented the story that her dog was missing so that she could explain away her crime of trespassing. And the bullets were probably meant for me.”

  Kelsey’s story only validated my own suspicions about Shirley’s behavior. I couldn’t see Shirley allowing Toofroo out of her sight long enough to wander into Kelsey’s yard, let alone enter her house. And Shirley did indeed seem to be somewhat cantankerous. I glanced at my mother, wondering what her take was on all of this. She still had her armed crossed and was looking impatient, probably eager for Kelsey to leave.

  Kelsey added, “Shirley was probably in my bedroom, because she was trying to let Magoo out of his cage and shooed him out of the house.” She narrowed her eyes at Frank. “Meanwhile, your car was still at Shirley’s house when I left for my jog yesterday.”

  “Toofroo and Shirley were safe at home when I left,” Frank said, his voice firm.

  There was an awkward pause.

  “Other than our not leaving things on a bad note, is there any other subject we need to discuss while you’re here?” I asked Kelsey, trying not to sound rude.

  “No, I think we covered all the bases. And probably buried them in dirt in the process.” She pivoted and headed toward her car. “Tell Russell I said hi.”

  “Will do.”

  I glanced through the screen door. All three dogs were sitting on the other side of the door, watching us. Kelsey slammed her car door and started the engine. I held up a hand in a semi-wave, but she never looked in my direction. She merely backed onto the street and promptly drove away.

  “I’d better be on my way, as well,” Frank said.

  “I’ll see you later,” I said, heading through the door to the house in the hopes that I could leave them alone to chat. “You’ll have to bring your Labrador next time.”

  “I might just do that. How do you feel about that idea, Linda?”

  “Oh, absolutely. Bring the dog. What’s his name?”

  “Rover. It was my late wife’s idea. I like it better than ‘Fido,’ at least.”

  Mom joined me in the kitchen a minute or so later. “We weren’t very congenial hosts,” I said.

  “Kelsey rubbed me the wrong way. Several times. Hard to imagine what Russ was thinking when he paired himself up with her.”

  * * *

  The next morning, I had a pair of sessions with clients, then went to my office for a third client appointment. This was aversion therapy for a recent adoptee from the Humane Society. Scruffy had been abused, but had realized that his new pack members were never going to hurt him. He remained terrified beyond the confines of his domain, however. I limited the possibility of sudden interruptions by turning off my phone and computer, and I locked the door and taped a sign on the glass that read: “Training Session in Progress. Please Come Back Soon.” This morning was Scruffy’s gentle introduction to the concept of going to new places. The next step would be taking Scruffy to a reasonably quiet park, which, because he’d already come to realize that, like his owners, I too could be trusted, we’d hoped would happen today. He wasn’t ready, however. The most I managed was to get to the point in which he wasn’t cowering every time I made a sudden motion or lifted my hands.

  The challenging part of the training, per usual, was teaching his kindhearted owner to resist the impulse to cuddle her beloved pet when he trembled. I also had to stop myself from attempting to track down the previous owners. My fantasizing about beating the tar out of the perpetrator was impractical, dangerous, and, technically, a crime. My focus had to remain on the wonderful life Scruffy would lead from here on out, and the happy fact that, one way or another, the miserable excuse for a human being had at least gotten the dog to a shelter.

  I unlocked the door and removed the sign while Mandy—Scruffy’s owner—and I continued to chat. She tended to be loquacious and didn’t seem to be taking the hint that our session was over. Russell came trotting down the stairs and started to back away when he realized I was still with a client. Wondering how long he’d been out there, I gestured for him to come in.

  He gave me a big smile. “Hi, Allie. I made it back a few hours early.”

  “Welcome home,” I said. My heart was thumping. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was glad to see him or worried about hearing what he had to say about my staying put in Boulder. “This is Mandy and Scruffy. Russ shares the office with me.”

  “I don’t want to interrupt your session,” Russ said as he headed toward his office door. “Nice meeting you.”

  “Our time is already up,” Mandy replied.

  Russell muttered, “No problem,” unlocked his door, went inside, and shut the door behind him.

  “I know it’s none of my business,” Mandy asked in a half whisper, “but I just have to ask. Are you two a couple?”

  “Yes.”

  She grinned at me and waited expectantly for me to elaborate. When I didn’t, she said, “I’m so glad. You two are such attractive little people...like two miniature peas in a pod.”

  I managed a “Thanks,” opting to make as little from the remark as I could, in keeping with her theme of my being miniature pea-like.

  Within seconds of Mandy telling me goodbye, Russ emerged from his office. “It’s good to see with my own eyes that you’re okay.”

  “I’m doing better now that you’re back.”

  He grinned at me. “Have you eaten lunch yet?”

  I hadn’t, and within minutes, we were strolling down
the Pearl Street Mall, hand in hand. Russ asked me to tell him the details of how I wound up discovering Shirley’s body. That brought my confusion about Frank’s phone call to mind. “I’m just having some problems with the whole timeframe of who was where at what time. Tracy had seen Frank at Shirley’s house when she first arrived, thirty minutes or so before I did.”

  “And that’s incriminating?”

  “No, more like a bit puzzling. I’m a little surprised Frank was there. He called me from Longmont. And asked me to go help Shirley find her Dachshund. So maybe Toofroo must have been missing for a shorter period of time than I’d thought.”

  “Or he wasn’t really calling from Longmont.”

  “Or it was an innocent case of some signal tower putting ‘Longmont’ on my display.” I hesitated, realizing I was starting to worry about Frank being with my mother now. “I know I’m the one who started it, but I’m going to change subjects. I don’t want to scare myself into thinking every nice person who happened to know Shirley was out to kill her.”

  “What about Kelsey? Is she excluded from your innocent-until-proven-guilty list?”

  I hesitated. “Do you consider her a nice person? Seriously?”

  “Geez, Allie. Yes, she’s a nice person. Underneath a prickly exterior. You’d like her if you got to know her. She can be really thoughtful and fun-loving.”

  “No, I wouldn’t, Russ. She’s got a personality disorder.” Fortunately, I managed to hold my tongue before adding: And I’ve worked with enough neurotic bitches to recognize one.

  “I don’t know enough about psychiatry to comment on that,” Russ said. “But I do know Kelsey well enough to be certain she isn’t guilty of murder.”

  We both fell silent. We’d walked past several restaurants already, and our moods had sunk far enough that we settled for a Mexican restaurant on West Pearl by default. The aromatic, spice-scented air lifted my spirits while we waited for a table. I looped my arm around Russ’s waist, and he pulled me closer.

  I needed to stop stalling and get this over with. “Were you offered the job?” I asked.

  “Not officially.”

  My heart sank. “But unofficially, the job’s yours if you want it?”

  “For all intents and purposes.”

  “Have you unofficially decided whether or not you want to accept their offer?”

  “No, because I want you to come with me.” He was searching my eyes—and not liking what he was finding in them. “But we can wait and talk about that after you’ve had the chance to check out the area for yourself.” His voice was just short of pleading. “There are lots of reasonably priced flights. You just need to see the place for yourself, is all. Then you’ll love it.” He gave me a smile, but I could tell he was starting to worry.

  I wanted to feel intrigued at that possibility that I could change my mind with a mere weekend excursion to the Northwest. Instead, I felt like I’d just swallowed a rock. My stomach felt queasy. “What’s the timeline? Can they give you another couple of months, at least?”

  “They have a project on the schedule, and they made it clear that they need me there within a month at the very latest.”

  “Four weeks?”

  He shrugged. “About that.”

  “Russell. I’m not leaving Boulder in four weeks.”

  “You can fly out to Seattle and house-hunt with me. You can join me there permanently as soon as you’re ready.”

  The maître d’ called “Russell?” just then. She was my height, and as her gaze met Russell’s, I could see read her “great-looking-guy” expression as plain as if she’d spoken the words out loud. I wanted to tell her: “You’re too late. He’s leaving Colorado.”

  Chapter 14

  By the time we were served our meals, I’d managed to quell my nervous stomach; I didn’t want to let my fear that Russ might leave wreck my time when he was sitting right across the table from me. The food was fine. The conversation was fine, too. We talked about his interviews, potential assignments, and the city of Seattle. On the inside, though my thought were still roiling.

  After returning to the office, we discussed our schedules for the rest of the day—his need to unpack and do laundry, and my upcoming outing with Jana Bock. I was just starting to describe Jana’s and my itinerary, when someone yelled, “Hey! Watch it, buddy!” outside. A Doberman galloped down the concrete steps, then leapt against the door his front paws spread on the glass.

  A couple of seconds later, Malcolm appeared and opened our office door. Fang came bounding inside, his leash dragging behind him. Malcolm followed. Fang rushed up to greet me. I automatically pivoted, turning my back in order to discourage his rambunctious behavior. Fang merely started barking and growling at Russell, who was standing a few feet away from me.

  I whirled around again, grabbed and yanked Fang’s leash, while scolding him for barking. Meanwhile, Russell jumped back, clearly frightened, as Malcolm merely stood there and laughed at him.

  Seething, I shifted my anger onto the correct source—Malcolm. “There is nothing amusing about allowing your dog to growl at someone! This is Russ’s office! Your dog is going to bite someone and wind up impounded! You need to own up to your responsibilities as his owner!”

  “This is Boulder,” Malcolm muttered, grabbing the leash from me. “We’re supposed to be called dogs’ ‘guardians’.”

  “My office, my terminology.”

  He shrugged and looked at Russ. “Sorry, dude. Come on, Fang.” He headed to the door, as if already leaving.

  “Why did you come here?”

  He snorted. “I thought we were on the same side. But I was wrong.” He jerked his chin in Russell’s direction. “Plus, I didn’t know he was going to be here.”

  “The ‘same side’ about what?” I asked.

  He turned to face me. “Kelsey Minerva.”

  Russell meanwhile had collected himself and was glaring at Malcolm with his jaw and fists clenched. Fang was still barking, but at the pedestrians he could see through the glass door.

  “She’s setting me up. I found out she tried to blame me when she soaked meatballs in coolant to kill the squirrels. An old guy who does odd jobs in Kelsey’s neighborhood filled me in.”

  It struck me as odd that Frank would be having a conversation with Malcolm about Kelsey. “Frank Zeller heard her claim that you were trying to poison squirrels?”

  “Yeah. He said she’d been waving a gun at Shirley, so he had to break it up. He seems to be one of those do-gooder types who feels like he’s got to rush in and save the day, or something.”

  “He was afraid someone was going to get hurt. And, obviously, he was right.”

  “Anyways, I think I put my money on the wrong horse by coming here. You’re prob’ly worse news that Kelsey.” Fang squeezed out the door the instant Malcolm opened it, and Malcolm followed.

  Russ and I both stood staring at the door for a moment after they’d left. I hated to admit this even to myself, but I was hurt that Malcolm Norfolk had ranked me as an even worse person than Kelsey.

  “That was pleasant,” Russ said.

  “Yeah, odd, but short. He must have been in the neighborhood and decided to drop in and share his angst about Kelsey with me.”

  “But not with me, apparently.” He grinned. “I’m so bummed he doesn’t like me.”

  “So I see.”

  “As you were saying, your friend’s picking you up?”

  “Jana Bock. We’re going to someone’s ranch southwest of Lyons.”

  “Oh?”

  “She knows the property owners. They let her come up and train hunting dogs there.”

  “Are you thinking of helping with the training?”

  “Sort of. We’re going to give each other cross referrals. I’ll send her any clients with hunting dogs, and she’ll send non-hunting-related behavioral problems to me. Today I’m just sort of helping her with some puppies, while I get some exercise.”

  I could see in his eyes that he felt like
this was a mere diversion for me and something I should cancel, now that he’d caught an earlier flight home. But doing so would only give us more time to talk about my moving to Seattle, and I couldn’t bear to make myself tell Russell that I didn’t want to move to Washington with him. Maybe I could still change my mind if I just waited. Spending a few more days with Russell could make a world of difference.

  He looked outside through the glass door. “Here’s Jana now. And guess who’s with her?”

  To my surprise, Fang was once again leading the way to my door, even though it couldn’t have been more than a minute or two since he’d left here with his owner. Jana and Malcolm were dating, though. Maybe they’d come downtown together. Jana grinned at me and said, “Hi. I bumped into Malcolm just now and offered to add one more dog-in-training to the mix.”

  “You’re training Fang to hunt?” I asked, more than a little surprised. She nodded, and I asked, “Isn’t it extremely difficult to train older dogs how to hunt?”

  “Yeah, but I thought it was worth a shot. It’s kind of a favor.”

  “Kind of?” I repeated. “I’d say that was an enormous favor.”

  “Yeah, well, we’re officially a couple again. We’d like to be able to take both our dogs with us while we hunt. So I’m at least willing to put in the effort.”

  As she gave Russell a quick glance, I said, “You might remember Russell from the Pets expo in Denver.”

  “Oh, right. You were there with Malcolm’s former girlfriend and her parrot. Nice to meet you.”

  “You, too...but, actually, I was there with Allie. Kelsey and I just happened to bump into each other.”

  “Oh, right,” Jana said. “I thought you were out of town.”

  “Just got back.”

  “Did I tell you Russ was out of town?” I asked, puzzled at how she could have known that.

  “You or Malcolm,” she said with a shrug. “I think it came up when he and I were talking about Kelsey’s next-door neighbor. I’m so sorry you wound up having to be the one who found her body, Allie. I can’t even imagine how that must have felt.”

 

‹ Prev