by Law, Kim
“Yes, I do. First of all, that was my role in the family. I was there to save her. But also, she was awake and fully aware when I found her. She was mad because the other car wasn’t supposed to be there. Mad, I would assume, because having another person potentially hurt would take some of the attention off her. Not mad—or feeling bad—because she’d run into an innocent person.”
She watched him carefully. “You went over to check on the other car after speaking to your mother?”
“Right. It was a pregnant woman in that car. And that’s how you’ve shown up in the dreams—at least until tonight. That pregnant woman turns into you, and then the car—” He choked off his words. He didn’t want to keep going.
Maggie’s soft hand caressed over his jaw again and turned his face back to hers. “Don’t stop,” she pleaded. “Finish telling me. The car what?”
“The car went over the damned cliff, Maggie.” He couldn’t stop the words. They barreled out of him as if unable to stay inside any longer. “Yet, there was and there is no cliff at that spot. I check every time I pass by it now. But you were in that car. You were calling for me to save you and the baby. And the cliff broke away and the car went over. You went over.” His voice had inched higher, as well as his pulse.
“Shhh . . .” She touched her fingertips to his lips. “It was a dream. You know that.”
He captured her hand again and held it to his cheek. “I do know that. Yet, I keep having it. Over and over. And then just now . . .”
He stopped and looked away. He didn’t want to think about it, much less say it out loud.
“Tell me,” she coaxed.
“Maggie . . .” He pleaded with her. “You know nothing good was in the dream. And it was about you. Why would you want to hear that?”
She held firm. “Because you need to talk about it. I don’t need to have Arsula’s dream reading abilities to understand that, Cord. You’re stressed about me, about the baby, so we’ve come into your nightmares.”
“Yes. Clearly. I understand that’s what’s going on, too. But knowing it doesn’t keep it from happening.”
“Then tell me the rest of it.” She offered him a gentle smile, and the darned thing eased his racing heart. “Maybe we can figure this out together.”
He hated her seeing the darkness inside him. At the same time, it felt good having someone to share this with. And if talking about it managed to help . . .
“Tell me,” she whispered.
He reached out and caressed her jaw then. He hadn’t touched her anywhere but her hands and belly since that weekend back in April, and as his palm slid over her smooth skin, he wanted to pull her in for a kiss. He closed his eyes instead.
“The pregnant woman didn’t change in the dream tonight,” he started. His other hand remained wrapped tightly around hers. “I thought I’d gotten past it. You weren’t in the woman’s car, so even in my dream, I thought I’d escaped having to see you fall over that cliff. But then I got back over to my mother’s vehicle. Exactly as I did in real life. Only, it suddenly wasn’t her SUV sitting there. It was the one parked outside that I got for you. And you were in it. I couldn’t get to you, though. I was right there. Two feet from the door. And you were calling for me. But I couldn’t help. Even though I knew how it was going to end. I knew what I would find inside if I didn’t get there soon enough.”
He felt something damp on his cheek, and it took a minute to realize it was tears. His tears. He opened his eyes, finding Maggie still right there in front of him, still ready to listen to every word he was willing to share. He couldn’t stop now.
“I let people down,” he told her again. “I let my mother die that day. I had a patient recently who wanted me to see her after the office closed. She’d reminded me of my mother in the past—the way she treated her kids, the way she made up reasons to make other people think she was sick so they would feel sorry for her—and I refused to see her. That’s why the dreams have started again. I had the receptionist tell her to go to the ER instead of me giving her five minutes of my time. Only, she didn’t go to the ER. She went back home, and her appendix ruptured. She developed sepsis that weekend, and her organs started shutting down. She died before they could save her, Maggie. So I’m terrified. I’m terrified that I’m going to let you and our baby down, too. I don’t know how . . . or when. But that’s what I do. I have all the skills in the world in the medical field, but when it really matters . . . I fail.”
Her lips closed over his as soon as he ran out of words, and at first he didn’t move. He didn’t breathe. He didn’t want to lead her on.
He didn’t want to want her.
But then he couldn’t help but move. Her lips were warm and soft against his. Just like she was warm and soft. And she was offering him the kind of understanding that no other person in the world had ever offered.
He slid his hand to the back of her head and slanted his lips over hers, and he stroked inside her mouth as her moan mingled with his. He wanted to devour her. He wanted to never stop kissing her.
“Maggie.” He pulled back, allowing only a breath of distance between them. “Should we be doing this?” He’d promised her before that he wouldn’t flirt with her again. And he hadn’t. He’d done his best not to think about her as anything more than the mother of his son. But she felt like more. And this felt like so much more than flirting.
“I do think we should be doing it. I don’t know what might come of it, but I like you, Cord. A lot. And I think you like me.” She pressed another kiss to his lips before pulling back. “And I really like kissing you.” She smiled again, at first with a mischievous lift to her lips before they gentled as they had before. “I know you’re scared of relationships. I know they terrify you, probably for all the reasons you just laid out that you fear you’re going to let me down. Which I don’t believe will happen, by the way. But I do understand your fears. I believe they’re real. That said . . . I don’t believe you have to fear this. You don’t have to fear us. I think you and I could be really good together, Cord Wilde.”
He peered back at her. They were still face-to-face, and he felt as if he couldn’t pull in another breath. She wanted him to give them a shot? As in, a real relationship?
Could he dare hope?
His entire family had figured it out, he reminded himself. And they’d come from the same messed-up reality that he had.
He wanted to hope.
He wanted to make a family with this woman.
Tossing caution aside, he pulled in another breath. And when his lungs were filled, when he could envision nothing more than him and the woman sitting before him—along with the son who was currently tucked safely between them—he finally let himself smile.
Every part of him destressed in that one instant, and the path he was about to embark upon felt like the right direction to take. “I want to try, Maggie. I want to try to make an us.”
Chapter Sixteen
I want to try to make an us.
Maggie continued to let Cord’s words replay through her mind several days later as she, Erica, and Arsula did some last-minute Christmas shopping. She hadn’t shared the changes that had come from hers and Cord’s weekend yet. She’d been holding the newness of it close instead. But she was ready to talk. She needed her friends to know what was going on, and she hoped for their support.
“How about this for Gloria?” She held up a pretty cashmere sweater for them to see. She’d decided she wanted to get gifts for Max and Gloria, as well as all the kids that would soon be her baby’s cousins. She could drop them off at the house sometime next week.
Erica fingered the soft wool. “That green color would look great on her. It’ll bring out her eyes.”
“Agreed,” Arsula added.
Maggie nodded. “That’s what I thought, too.”
She tucked the sweater into the bag she’d picked up as they’d come into the store and led the three of them to the men’s section. Erica had visited her OB that day and fo
und out she’d started dilating. She wasn’t in labor yet, but given her due date was at the end of the week, the news hadn’t surprised anyone. Apparently, Dani was in the same situation. It was going to be a race to see who delivered first.
“So how was it with Cord over the weekend?” Arsula asked. She didn’t look away from the belt she’d picked up, but Maggie could hear the pointedness of the question.
“It was fine with Cord.”
“And he stayed at your place all weekend?” Erica questioned from her other side. She, too, seemed overly focused on a pair of socks she now held. Her friends had apparently decided to grill her before Maggie could even bring the subject up. Which wasn’t surprising. They’d been checking in with her every few days, asking how things were going.
She’d let them know the week before about the decision for Cord to stay at her place, both before and after the baby came. And she’d also brought them over to the house to show them the SUV. After much discussion, they’d helped convince her to keep the vehicle. It would be safer for the baby—and obviously, Cord could afford it. And as for the room full of baby paraphernalia that had come with it . . . other than the duplicates of what she’d already had, she’d agreed to keep most of those items, too. The idea of Cord out shopping for so much baby stuff had been too cute for her to want to send it all back.
“He did stay with me all weekend,” Maggie answered. Then she turned her attention to a table full of pullovers that might be a good present for Max. She fake-ignored her friends just as they’d been doing to her.
“Ms. Crowder! Mrs. Wilde!”
Two young girls and their mother spotted them from the other side of the table, and Maggie and Erica greeted all three.
“Hey, girls.” Maggie had taught the oldest the year before, and Erica had her sister in class this year.
“We’re out shopping, too!” They each held up shiny bags with red and silver ribbon trailing over the sides. “I was just asking Mom if you’d had your baby yet, Mrs. Wilde.”
Erica put her hand on her belly. “Not yet, Talia. It should be soon, though.”
The mother’s eyes lit up. “That’s good to hear. I hope all goes smoothly.” Erica had gone on maternity leave the week before. The mother shifted her gaze to Maggie. “And how are you doing, Ms. Crowder? I hear you’re still working.”
“I am until this Friday.” School would let out for the holidays on Friday, and though she wasn’t due until after the kids would return, she’d decided early on not to go back until after the baby arrived.
The adults all talked for a few more minutes, the girls humming under their breaths to the festive music being played over the store’s speakers, and when Maggie, Erica, and Arsula were alone once again, Erica put down the socks she’d still been holding.
She turned to Maggie. “Okay, spill. We got interrupted before, but what I was going to say is that something is different with you the last few days. We can tell. You’re . . . almost annoyingly happy.”
Arsula faced her, as well. “Are you going to tell us, yet again, that Cord’s staying over at your place is purely innocent?”
Maggie felt as if she’d suddenly come under fire. This was the purpose for the day, however. And she had told them that before. But that was before Cord showed up Friday night.
“No,” she finally answered. “I am not going to tell you that. Because actually”—she broke into a wide grin, turning to face Erica, only, instead of including both of them—“things did change over the weekend. We’re . . .” She didn’t know how to explain it other than to simply say, “Dating.”
Erica’s smile went as wide as Maggie’s. “I knew it.”
Maggie grimaced. “You don’t think it’s a mistake?” She could feel Arsula behind her, watching her carefully, but she didn’t dare look back. She needed to know what Erica thought before facing her other friend.
“I think it’s sweet,” Erica assured her. She squeezed Maggie’s hand. “You two are cute together.”
Maggie tried to contain her giddiness. “Really?”
Erica chuckled. “Really. You two will be good for each other, too. So, tell us everything. What’s going on?”
Maggie couldn’t tell them everything until she dealt with Arsula. She cautiously turned to her other friend. “I know you don’t think Cord and I should be together,” she began, but before she could say anything else, Arsula waved her off.
“Don’t worry about that. I changed my mind.”
Maggie’s jaw fell open. “You what?”
Arsula gave a grudging nod, and Erica snickered behind Maggie. “I’ve been waiting for her to tell you,” Erica whispered.
Maggie stepped back so she could take in both women at once. “What are you two talking about?” She zeroed in on Arsula. “Since when do you not think Cord ‘isn’t the man for me’?” That had been mentioned more than once over the course of their friendship. “I thought your intuition told you he had too much baggage for me.”
She waved her hand again. “So, I was wrong. It happens.”
Erica snickered again.
“Plus,” Arsula continued. “Knowing who’s made for each other and who isn’t has always been more my mom’s thing than mine. I think it boiled down to the fact that I didn’t want you to get mixed up with him because yes, he does come with so much baggage.”
A lot more than they knew, Maggie thought.
“But that was before I saw you two together.”
Arsula had seen them together?
Did she mean that night at the hospital? Arsula had been furious with Cord at that point. Maggie couldn’t imagine she’d “seen” anything from him simply putting his hand on Maggie’s stomach. Plus, his back had been to them at the time.
She racked her brain, trying to recall any other time Arsula might be referring to, but she came up with nothing. She and Cord hadn’t gone out over the weekend at all. Instead, after waking in the middle of the night and talking about his dream—as well as all the things she still hadn’t managed to convince Cord he shouldn’t feel responsible for—they’d spent Saturday and Sunday being super low-key.
They’d cooked meals together, shared stories from their pasts, worked on the dollhouses, and he’d helped her put together the changing table that matched the baby bed. It had been delivered that week. He’d also ordered a wooden rocker for her living room, declaring they’d need to be able to rock the baby in more than one room. It had been a really great weekend.
And there had been more kissing, too.
She grinned at the memory. Being eight months pregnant . . . she supposed it was possible to do more than some heavy petting. But it was really nice simply to have this kind of time to spend together. There was something to be said for a nice slow burn.
“Good grief, look at that smile.”
Maggie pulled her attention back from the weekend and shot Arsula a guilty look. “I can’t help it. It was a good weekend. And don’t tell me you haven’t worn the same expression because of Jaden plenty of times.”
“Well, yeah. But I would assume the sexual gymnastics that puts that kind of grin on my face aren’t quite possible for you two right now.” She sent a pointed look to Maggie’s belly.
Maggie returned a smirk. “Stop teasing me.” She went back to the table and picked up a couple of the pullovers. “And no, Cord and I are not doing it, if that’s what you’re asking. We’re just getting to know each other better.”
“And making out,” Erica correctly guessed, and Maggie blushed.
“A few kisses,” she admitted. “That’s all.” Then she returned to the original topic. She glanced back over at Arsula. “But what did you mean? When did you see the two of us together? We never left the house this weekend.”
Arsula pointed to the burgundy shirt for Max. “At the medical plaza the day the twins were born.”
Maggie eyed her. “You changed your mind from seeing him put his hand on my stomach?”
“Not then. Before that. While we w
ere still over at the doctors’ offices.”
Maggie tried to recall what had been said while they’d been in the lobby of the Women’s Pavilion. That had been right before they’d gotten the call about Harper. She’d run into Cord . . . he’d apparently been arguing with Arsula . . . and then she’d told him she had a meeting with a lawyer.
A meeting which she’d never made it to, but that wasn’t a current priority.
She couldn’t figure it out. “What changed your mind?”
Arsula finally broke out her own smile, only hers came across as a little dreamy. “The way he looked at you when he said you two would never speak again.”
Maggie remembered that moment. They’d been coming to an agreement about her original requests. She’d agreed to a college account that he could fund. He’d agreed to sign away his rights. And then, she’d been about to cry as she’d tried to repeat her last request. Cord had finished the sentence for her.
Then we never speak to each other again.
The whole lobby had seemed to disappear as she’d stood there. His not being in their lives hadn’t broken her heart for her son that day, but instead for her. Cord was a special man, whether he knew it or not, and she hadn’t wanted him to walk away.
“You wore the same look he did, by the way.”
“I did?”
“Absolutely.”
Erica slipped an arm through Maggie’s and leaned into her. “You aren’t the only one with a crush, Mags,” she whispered. “We think that boy has feelings.”
Maggie didn’t want to get her hopes up too high. “You’re sure?” she asked Arsula. “You could see that?” She’d begun to think the same thing over the weekend, but with them getting together because she was pregnant, it was hard to determine if he really wanted to be with her or if he was just doing it for the baby.
“I could definitely see that,” Arsula assured her. “And I could also see that he didn’t want to agree to what you’d asked of him.”
Maggie remembered more of that moment. He’d only nodded when she’d reminded him that she wanted him to sign away his rights. He hadn’t agreed out loud. Had he already been doubting his decision?