by Harlow James
Cooper and Piper both laugh at me. “I bet. But hey, at least you have decent company,” Piper winks at me and instantly puts a smile on my face.
Leaning closer to her ear, I whisper in a low growl. “I feel like I’m back in high school, trying to sneak touches with a girl in the back seat while Birdie drove us somewhere.” Nuzzling her neck with my nose while inhaling her scent, my body reacts to her perfume that’s driving me wild. It’s fruity with just a hint of spice—sweet and hot, just like her. Seeking her hands, I lace our fingers together and then bring my other palm up to gently caress the smooth skin of her neck and jaw. Piper’s eyes flutter shut, her breathing heavy as I touch her, making blood rush south as I take in the reaction she has to me. “Even though this wasn’t part of the plan, being trapped back here with you gives me the perfect excuse to get closer to you while you can’t run away.”
“You’d better behave yourself then, Cash, especially since you’re already in the back of a cop car. Just because I can’t run away, doesn’t mean I won’t elbow you in the junk.”
I can’t help the deep rumble of my laugh that escapes my lips before pressing a light kiss to her cheek. The situation could definitely be shittier, but she’s right. At least she’s still by my side and keeping her elbows to herself, a detail I’m quickly becoming very fond of.
Chapter 14
Piper
I can’t help it, but part of me is loving the fact that Cash’s date hasn’t gone according to his plan. I mean, a blown tire in the middle of a date where you’re trying to impress the girl remarkably? Priceless. Now the question is, will he let this ruin the night? Or will he prove that he can move past this little snafu?
But seriously, I didn’t need a fancy dinner, even though once Cash explained the dining experience we were missing out on, I was a little disappointed. But hey, maybe he’ll still blow me away tonight and we’ll get a chance for another date. Oh, who am I kidding? I know I’ll want to see him again. One night won’t be enough—everything in my body tells me I’ll need more of him.
“I can’t believe I haven’t been here yet,” I declare as I pop one of the freshly cut potato wedge fries in my mouth, smothered in ketchup.
“Would you like some fries with your ketchup?” Cash eyes me from across the booth, judging my affliction for the best condiment to grace the table.
“Uh, yes, actually. I’m sorry, but I have a strong love affair with ketchup. If you want to date me, you’re going to have to accept that you will always come second to it.”
Cash snorts. “Wow. Okay, noted. Don’t come between you and ketchup.”
“Yup. And if you want to see me break out into a full-fledged panic attack, all I have to know is that I don’t have any in my fridge or it’s almost gone.”
Cash stares blankly at me from across the table, his drink frozen in his movement to his mouth. “Wow.”
I shrug. “Hey, I’m just being honest.”
“Honesty is good.”
“Isn’t there some food that you have an unhealthy obsession with?” I ask, reaching for my drink.
“Cheez Its,” he answers.
His answer takes me by surprise. “Cheez Its?”
“Yup. That’s why I had a box in hand the other day when I went to the retirement center. Birdie and I munched on them all the time while I was growing up. And now when we play Scrabble, I always have to have a box.”
I can’t help but chuckle. “That’s adorable. You have a love affair with a snack made for toddlers.”
Cash sits up taller on his side of the booth, challenging me with his eyes. “Hey, Cheez Its can be a grown man’s snack too, alright?”
“Sure, whatever you say,” I giggle, then pop another fry in my mouth.
“So, tell me something else about you that’s honest, since we’re baring our souls to each other right now, guilty food pleasures and all,” he urges before taking an enormous bite of his larger-than-necessary hamburger, a burger so massive it requires you to unhinge your jaw just to eat it.
When Cooper arrived back in town, Cash asked him to drop us off at Apollo Burgers, a hole-in-the-wall type of establishment known for their insane creations. I’ve never eaten a hamburger this intense in my life—a freshly ground patty with bacon and cheese cooked inside, smothered in grilled onions, fresh tomato, pickles, lettuce, and some homemade sauce that is to die for, topped with macaroni and cheese, and smashed between two full-size grilled cheese sandwiches. When Cash suggested it, I thought he was crazy, but he obviously knew what he was talking about. Because it’s incredible. I’ll never be able to finish the entire thing, but the few bites I’ve taken have been orgasmic.
Cash’s mountain of meat is dripping and oozing with sauce as he holds it in front of his mouth, chewing intensely while he waits for me to answer.
And I’m stalling because I don’t know how to respond. How can I tell him something honest when I’ve already lied to him? I told him I’m from Charleston, not New York. He doesn’t even know my real name. There’s only so many details about my life I can offer before he’ll start asking more questions. This is exactly what I was afraid of when it came to tonight.
But then I remember the lie I told Jess earlier this week about Mason, and so I figure I might as well sell that one. If I’m going to tell any stories about my past, I need to aim for consistency, obviously.
“Well, I was engaged once,” I say as I dip my eyes down to focus on my burger and not Cash’s reaction to that news.
“Oh. Wow,” he says, sitting back further in the booth. “Uh, what happened?”
“Well, we were high school sweethearts. He… he died a little over a year ago.” My appetite has instantly dissipated as the lie leaves my lips.
“Fuck. I’m sorry, Piper.” Cash reaches across the table for my hands, stroking his thumb across the top of my hand.
“It’s okay. I’m getting past it.” I shrug.
“Now I feel like an ass pushing you into this date.” Cash shakes his head as I lift my eyes to meet his. Regret is etched into the lines of his face.
“Don’t be. Mason and I are through and he’s obviously not coming back. Regardless of my history with him, I still wanted to get to know you. I really am glad we’re here right now.” Those words are the whole truth—because although Mason isn’t technically dead, he’s dead to me, and I do want to be here with Cash, right in this moment.
“Just let me know if you change your mind, okay? It might kill me, but I don’t want you to do something before you’re ready, Piper.”
I smile at him, genuinely amazed at how compassionate he’s being right now—Cash Williams, the man whore who never dates, is concerned about pressuring me to move too fast. Oh, how things have changed so quickly.
“I’ll tell you, I promise. But don’t be sorry.”
We finish our meal and then exit the restaurant, walking down the sidewalk towards the civic center.
“Isn’t this where the Labor Day event was going on?”
“No, that’s Clove Park. This park is behind the town hall and the library. There’s a dog park and a playground too, over on that side.” He points toward the areas he just described. “If you want to walk around for a bit, we can. Originally, we were supposed to be feasting on chocolate fondue right now for dessert and then I was gonna take you star-gazing, but obviously those plans fell through. Fuck, I’m still pissed our night turned out this way.” I can hear the frustration in his voice and the confidence he usually exhibits dwindle with his words.
“Cash, don’t be. Shit happens.”
“Did you just cuss?” He laughs.
“Uh, yes. Shit. Fuck. Damn. I can use very colorful language when the mood strikes.”
“And now I’ve seen yet another side to you.”
I snicker at his humor and then press on. “The point I’m trying to make here is that sometimes we have no control over the crap that happens. Believe me, if there’s anything I’ve learned in the past year, it’s that thing
s aren’t always what they seem.”
Cash tilts his head at me, narrowing his eyes. “What do you mean by that?”
Flicking my eyes to the right, I try to avoid his. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”
Grabbing my chin gently and redirecting my head to face him, he stares down at me intently. “That’s not nothing. You can tell me things, Piper. I’m not some secret spy that’s going to spill all of your secrets.”
“Maybe another time.” My voice is gravelly, trying to hide the emotion threatening to spill over. “I don’t want to ruin the evening.”
“Okay, I’ll let you off the hook for right now, because the last thing I want is to give you another reason not to agree to another date with me. But eventually, I want to hear what you’ve been through. I want to know why you have such a hard time trusting people.”
“How do you know that?”
“I’m a deputy. Part of my job is reading people. And judging by the stone wall you’ve erected around your mind and heart, I’m guessing someone hurt you and you’re afraid to let anyone else in.”
I take a deep breath, realizing that dating when you’re living a double life is far more complicated than I expected. “Fine.”
“Let’s take that walk then,” he suggests as he reaches for my hand.
I stare up into Cash’s icy blue eyes, pulling my coat closer to my body. I can see the hint of disappointment in his face, but honestly, the evening so far has been amazing, regardless if it didn’t turn out the way he intended. “I’d love that. Let’s do it.”
Reaching for my hand and intertwining our fingers, Cash guides me to the park and leads us to the trail that’s empty except for a few more couples strolling during the crisp fall night. Orange and yellow leaves are sprinkled in the trees that were dark green just a few weeks ago. The sky is pitch black, showcasing millions of stars despite the soft light of the street lamps lining the sidewalk.
“I know we were supposed to be elsewhere, but this spot, this moment in time, is perfect.”
“Yeah, it didn’t turn out so bad,” Cash winks over at me as we turn a corner and music plays to our right. The melody stops us cold as we listen and get lost in the song, but then he pulls me towards the sound, walking us between large trees to a clearing with a fence securing the park boundaries. On the other side of the fence is a bar, the chatter of customers flowing out of the doors and windows along with the soft country music.
“Care to dance?” Cash turns to me and pulls me closer to him, wrapping his arm around my waist and then raising our intertwined hands.
“Here?” I look around frantically, even though there aren’t any other people near us. Even the chain-link fence with privacy panels built in separates us from the bar, providing privacy. We’re literally all alone, yet I feel completely on display—because the way Cash is staring down at me, he makes me feel like I’m the center of the universe. Mason never looked at me like that.
“Yes, here.” He pulls me closer so our torsos are touching, his head gently pressed against the side of mine, and begins gliding me across the grass, swaying and turning, keeping in time with the music. “We’re living in the moment, slow dancing in a park because music is playing and that’s what you do—you dance when there’s music.”
“Who knew you could be so romantic? And you can dance?” I smile, surprised by yet another aspect about Cash I never would have guessed.
“Well, the romance thing is all new to me, but I’m glad you approve. And you can thank Birdie for the dancing talent, as well. Add it to my rating.”
“Why didn’t you join in on my class last week then?”
“Well, obviously, I don’t need lessons,” he teases as he releases me, spinning me around by one hand and then pulling me back into him, flashing me that grin that highlights the lone dimple in his cheek as his palm resting on my hip dips slightly lower to my ass. His full lips taunt me as I try to focus on anything but his mouth that I’m dying to feel connected to mine again.
“Obviously,” I chuckle, resting my head on his shoulder as we continue to move. I can hear his heart beat in his chest, mimicking the rate of my own. Closing my eyes, I sink into his arms, melting into the feeling of being protected and adored, submerging myself in a moment of my life that wasn’t planned and isn’t a lie. That is how Cash makes me feel, like I’m not running from my past, hiding my true identity to be kept safe, or living a lie—because for the first time in my life, I truly feel like I’m finally living.
Cash
“Do you believe in fate, Cash?”
“Fate? Wow, that’s a serious question. What brought that on?”
“Well, earlier you said you think things worked out the way they were supposed to between us, leading us to this date. So I’m curious… do you think everything is already pre-destined in your life, a series of events lined out on a road map that you are already inclined to follow from birth? Or, do you think there are forks in the road we come along and have to make a choice, and that decision is the one that continues to lead us down the path we take as we live our lives?”
Holy shit. This conversation just got deep—and fuck, I’m here for it. Getting into Piper’s mind is exactly what I wanted, and she’s giving me an all-access pass to how she thinks about the world. As we continue to move to the music coming from the bar across the fence, I struggle with how to answer that question, because Piper has changed how I view so much.
Before I met her, I was a man wandering aimlessly through relationships. I maintained friendships with those I felt were deserving. I invested time with the people I care about the most in life, like Birdie. But I never felt a sense of direction leading me to another person like I do with her. There’s a kinetic wire shooting a signal between us, alerting me to the fact that she’s on the other end and all I need to do is travel to her to get the message.
I’m still trying to figure out what that message is exactly, though.
“How about you answer first?” I suggest.
Piper lets out a deep sigh. “I used to think it was the former—our lives were already predetermined and we merely acted as puppets performing God’s play. But recently, I’m beginning to believe it’s more of the latter. I believe there is something that guides us, but ultimately it’s our decisions that will lead us where we’re meant to be. I wonder though, is the ending still the same, no matter what choices we make? Do we still end up in the same spot as we knock on death’s door? Or are we in more control than we realize and our lives can end in an instant with one wrong turn?”
Pushing against her, urging her to look me in the eyes, I stop dancing long enough to lock our gazes. This woman has so many sides to her—this vulnerable one I feel like I’m seeing for the first time. I’ve seen self-assured Piper, confident and noble Piper, and passionate Piper when we’ve kissed. But this side of her ignites this need in me to protect her from the fear I see in those dark blue eyes—a fear I’ve seen before, but is becoming more apparent each time I study her.
“I think our decisions fuel our fate, Piper, and I have to believe that in this moment—because if I had decided to let you run, allowed your fear to prevent you from giving me a chance, I know my life would never have been the same. I can’t describe what this is, but I know I’ve never felt a pull towards another human being like I do to you. And it was that pull that made me fight your stubbornness and what ultimately allowed you to decide to give me a chance. If we both hadn’t made those decisions, then we’d be in a very different place right now, but I can’t help but believe eventually we’d still get here.”
I can see Piper’s throat bob as she swallows hard, her eyes dancing back and forth between mine. “I agree,” she whispers and then pushes up on her toes to plant her lips on mine. But the kiss is short lived as the slam of a door jolts us apart, igniting my pulse in an instant.
“What is it with loud noises interrupting us?” My annoyance with being interrupted is short-lived as Piper chuckles in my arms.
�
��I don’t know, but I don’t think my heart can take it anymore,” she replies just as her head shifts around mine and she squints at something behind me. “Hey. What’s that?” Moving towards whatever she’s set her sights on, I follow her attentively, knowing at this point I’d follow her anywhere as the crunch of leaves beneath our feet becomes the only sound around us.
“Oh, wow,” she exclaims as we stop in front of a part of the chain-link fence that separates the park from other businesses. As I make my way around her, the vision of hundreds of locks secured to the metal shine in the lights from the buildings on the other side.
“Damn. I didn’t even know this was here.”
“This is incredible. Look! They have names on them,” Piper says as she gets closer, inspecting the inscriptions on dozens of the locks. Combination locks, old-fashioned key locks, and locks of every color are bound together on the chain-link fence, symbolizing a connection between lovers, both past and present. The smile on Piper’s face is mesmerizing as she admires the intricacy of each link, her eyes brightening up as well from the reflection of light from behind the fence. “What an amazing way to declare your devotion to someone.”
“That’s a pretty bold statement, for sure,” I say, shoving my hands in my pockets while I ask myself if I would ever be willing to put a lock on the fence for someone. It doesn’t take me long to realize that Piper would probably be the only person I could see myself doing that with someday in the future.
Future. Fuck, this woman is making me expand my relationship vocabulary. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about a future with a woman, except in terms of minutes and how long it would be between meeting her and fucking her.
But with Piper, I see days ahead—weekends lounging in bed, dates months from now, sex with her repeatedly because I know that one time with her will not be enough.