MAP OF FEELINGS AND ARCHETYPES
Before learning how to feel consciously, maturely and on purpose your feelings use you to serve your hidden purposes. Associated with each of the four feelings is an Archetype that is hardwired into your body and ready to turn on at about age 15. Each Archetype is initialized individually through a guided process of safely, consciously and intentionally experiencing and expressing 100%-maximum Archetypal feelings, until your relationship to the feeling shifts. Archetypes arrive responsible, adult, clear, and bigger than your 100%-big feelings. Once initiated, the four Archetypes are available for the rest of your life. Without stellating your Archetypes you remain functionally adolescent.
Initializing Feelings
Each Archetype is initialized individually, through a guided process of intentionally experiencing and expressing maximum Archetypal feelings, until your relationship to the feeling shifts. Before the stellating process, the unexpressed, often unconscious, feelings are bigger than you are. After the stellating process, you are bigger than the feelings. Before stellating, the feelings owned you. After stellating, you own the feelings. Before stellating, the feelings contained you. After stellating, you contain the feelings. The determination that you are bigger than your fully-stellated Archetypal feelings is not theoretical and disputable; the determination is experiential and indisputable. Your Archetypes arrive responsible, adult, clear, and fully tapped into their inherent clarity and power. What they need is experience. Once initialized, the four Archetypes are at your service for the rest of your life; without stellating your Archetypes, you remain functionally adolescent – for the same length of time.
If you were born in Western civilization, then your culture provides no way for you to stellate your Archetypes. Yet, permanent adolescence may not look so attractive. If you want to live from the source of Archetypal Man / Woman, protected by the doing-making power of a Warrior / Warrioress, connected to others through a Loving communicator, with access to immediate invention through a Magician / Sorceress, it will be up to you to make it happen. You, or no one, will take responsibility for stepping beyond the limits of the culture and finding an intelligent environment that is designed exactly for bringing your Archetypes to life – your life!.
Retrieve Love from Hell
During your path of evolution you may have accidentally left Archetypal Love behind you in the underworld. While evolving out of a life serving the shadow side, it could be that, during the struggle, you left the treasure behind. Perhaps you were rushing to escape through a quickly closing door and you just forgot to bring Archetypal Love along. In your panic-leap away from unconscionable irresponsibility, the treasure may have been too much of a burden to carry at the time. Perhaps you were confused in that moment and thought that Love itself was evil and part of the original problem. Perhaps in the impending doom of the threatening circumstances you had no time to get clarity and untangle it all. You just needed to get out and shut the door tightly behind you. And you did it. You succeeded in getting out. But it could be that, in the process of getting out, you accidentally left Love in hell. The thing to realize is that Love is Love, pure fuel for being. Love belongs to the radically responsible world where you are working now. Now you need Archetypal Love. You need it at your fingertips whenever you shake hands with someone. You need it wherever you touch, wherever you look, wherever you feel. Your permission to radiate Archetypal Love may be trapped in your underworld and you may need to go back in there and get it. Do not worry. That is the important thing to know. You do not have to worry. You are different now. Your time of serving irresponsibility is complete. You may even have signed a contract that promised you would serve unconsciousness forever as part of the deal. Well, even unconsciousness knows that forever is a really long time. If this situation applies to you, ask your body the following question: “Have I served long enough?” If something in your body relaxes, the answer is yes. You have served long enough. The contract is over. You can now go back to unconsciousness and look it straight in the face and say, “I have served long enough. The contract is over.” Then, tear up the contract and leave. Only this time, on your way out of the underworld, lean over and gently pick up the bright jewel of Archetypal Love. Protect her close at your chest, and take her with you out of there. She is yours. And you need her now.
SECTION 13-D
Man’s Job in the Underworld
For a man, owning your underworld will to a large extent be the process through which you put your stellated Archetypes to work and take your balls back from your mother. Since Western civilization is not a true Warrior culture we do not raise our boys to become Warriors, as could be imagined in ancient Sparta or in some of the Native American or African traditions. Western civilization raises their boys to be production workers, football fans, and consumers of Chevys or Fords.
As a modern mother takes care of raising her modern son, she also naturally takes care of his balls. Since he does not need his balls for attending school – and in the eyes of teachers and staff preferably does not have them – the mother takes the balls when he is a baby and keeps them carefully tucked away in her bedroom drawer, hidden amongst her socks and her underwear. Every now and then she brings the balls out for inspection to make sure they are still okay, dusts them off a bit and puts them carefully back. And there they stay, well preserved, unused, almost forgotten. Without a man taking his balls back from his mother his balls will stay in her little bedroom drawer until his dying day, even if his mother dies before him.
If a woman is looking for a man who can hold space for her she will start off with a test. She will do something to see if she can take the man’s balls away. If she succeeds she will despise the man. She has tested many men before and has a collection of men’s balls at home mounted on the wall over her fireplace. Each set of balls has the man’s name engraved on a small brass plate, the date of the taking, and the way the balls were collected. As soon as a woman gets disgusted toying with a man like a cat tires of toying with a mouse, she drops him and looks for another man to test. The man will have no idea why he was dropped.
Grown men who still live in their mother’s house are not the only ones who have not taken their balls back. It is almost all of us. Until you take your balls back from your mother every woman you go to bed with is mom. It is no wonder if you have sexual inadequacies. You may as well have a portrait of your mother on your bedside table. Until you take your balls back from your mother you are still sleeping only with her.
Your mother cannot give your balls back to you, even if she wants to, even if she knows that it needs to be done. The best that a mother can do is, on an appropriate day after her son’s eighteenth birthday, take his balls out of her drawer, open the front door, place the balls on the porch, and then shut the door. Her job as mother is complete. If your mother does this and you do not come and collect your balls off the front porch right quickly, some hungry dog may come along and slurp them up for lunch.
In the meantime, mom can have a Mother Graduation Party. She can invite other mothers over, bring out the champagne, and formally exchange her role of “mother” for any of the other roles she has kept on the back burner in order to be “mother.” She can turn in her nametag that says Mom for a nametag that announces her real name again. She can take her life back.
What is the way to take your balls back from your mother? For each man this is a unique and personal process. It does not mean that you do not love you mother. It is the procedure of cutting the apron strings, of chopping the umbilical cord, of severing the energetic binding between your center and her womb. Such cutting is not merely intellectual fantasy; it is real cutting and involves all four bodies. Such cutting is a violent, loud, sudden and final procedure. She will feel it, you will feel it, and the world will feel it. Through the process of becoming your own man it occurs that you are no longer your mother’s son. The world is a different place after taking your balls back.
Taking your balls back fr
om your mother is an exact procedure. The steps are best done formally in the company of other men who have already been through the process themselves. Ideally you take your balls back under the guidance of a man well trained in the procedure. Without the clarity and camaraderie of other men more experienced than yourself in this procedure it is easy to fool yourself.
SECTION 13-E
Woman’s Job in the Underworld
For a woman, owning your underworld will, to a large degree, be the process through which you put your stellated Archetypes to work and take your center back from your father. Whether your father was present or absent, kind or abusive, attentive or aloof, he was your first protector. Out of love for him or out of fear of losing him you empower your father with the best thing that you have to give him: your center. You do not necessarily want to give him your center. You may not give him your center on purpose. But the net result of growing up in a Western country is that you enter the age of transition from girlhood to womanhood having given your center away to your father.
Not only do you give your center to your father, you give your center to the patriarchy. If the patriarchy has your center, the patriarchy gets to decide who you will be, and the patriarchy offers few Archetypal models for a woman to step into and become. The women’s liberation movement that started in the 1960s and 70s is still going strong. The valiant personal efforts of thousands and thousands of clear-headed, strong-willed, loud-voiced, courageous women have built an energy wave that you can catch and ride on. In terms of support and guidance for your rite of passage into adulthood, you have a clear advantage over men. But do not think that the patriarchy has given up its tendency to dominate woman. Do not expect the patriarchy to hand you your rite of passage on a platter. You will need to fight for it, and your fight will need to be intelligent. Do not fight to transform the patriarchy. Fight to transform yourself.
Without taking your center back from your father, every man you come close to and every male authority figure with whom you work is not an individual person. They all wear your father’s face. You look to them for protection and when you do not get your expectations fulfilled then they receive your ridicule and revenge. Without taking your center back from your father then every man you go to bed with is dad. Is it any wonder if you cannot express your complete sexuality?
Before a woman owns her underworld she plays the game of hurting men. Many women have a collection of stories that they tell themselves and other people over and over again. These are the stories that show how men have hurt them. If you can prove that men have hurt you, then you are perfectly justified to hurt men first. You may even tell these stories to your own daughters so they can carry on the tradition. You either blame your man with hatred for being as bad as your father, or you blame your man with hatred for not being as good as your father. You can never authentically be-with your man, as he is, until you take your center back from your father.
Here are dangerous questions to ask yourself: “What stories do I keep to prove that men have hurt me? In what exact ways do I intentionally hurt men?” The Queen of your underworld feels very glad when men suffer.
The lessons of radiant joy and brilliant Love are strong. The lessons are clear. You are not here to topple the patriarchy. There is no need to topple the patriarchy. You do not need to destroy or even change the patriarchy in order to accomplish your goals, meet your needs and be what you are.
The patriarchy proposes one game: that if you want to improve your relationship with men, if you want to solve the problem between men and women, then go to psychotherapy, take drugs, get divorced, etc.
Archetypal Love proposes a different game. Remember who you are – Pirate Sorceress Warrioress Queen Goddess Woman – and then start your own game. The new game could go like this: There is no problem between men and women. There are men and there are women. Men and women play different games. The two games when well played are perfectly complementary. The evolution starts with you taking new actions with what you have right now. The basic action of the new game is radical responsibility. Responsibility for everything. Freedom from making excuses. Freedom from blaming anyone else, ever again, for anything.
The energetic description of the work you must do to grow up is of necessity precise: you must remove your father’s energy from your space, or, more crudely described, you must take your father’s energetic penis out of your vagina. It is up to you to take your center back from your father. If you insist on remaining your father’s little princess it prevents you from becoming your own man’s goddess. The purpose of all this is for you to take possession of your own life as a woman in the world. Only then do you have a chance to enter the extraordinary and Archetypal domains of womanhood. It does not mean that you don’t love your father.
I DECIDE
The spider and fly
hurt me hurt you game with men
continues until I grow up
and take my center/womb/power
back from my father and from
the Patriarchy
and start a new game
called Archetypal Love.
I decide which game I play
in each moment
with each word I speak and
each action I make.
Taking your center back from your father is an exact procedure – violent, swift, and loud. The steps are best done formally in the company of other women who have already been through the process themselves. Ideally you would arrange to be under the guidance of a woman already well trained in the procedure. Without the company and wise counsel of more experienced women it is easy to fool yourself about this.
SECTION 13-F
Map of Possibility
Until you recognize that you do in fact have an underworld, it makes no sense to map it in detail. After perceiving the magnitude and frequency of your internal urges that are decidedly less than honorable, it suddenly becomes imperative to understand where they are coming from and what they are for.
Everybody has an underworld. The processes through which you personally own your underworld take time. Allow yourself to have that time. Some underworld recognition processes are simple and quick. Some processes are longer and more complex. The underworld is never wrong, never healed and never goes away. You may as well include the underworld as part of the whole picture of things. What helps build a foundation of clarity for navigating your underworld is the Map of Possibility.
The Map of Possibility brings together many of the elements we have been distinguishing throughout this book. The map is complex and sophisticated, and although it looks like it represents a dichotomy, it has nothing to do with the dualities of right and wrong, or good and bad. The Map of Possibility describes what is possible for you to create right now.
As with every map, the Map of Possibility is neither true nor false – instead it is accurate or inaccurate, useful or not useful. Every map in this book is under continuous development and improvement. Nothing is final. It is you who verify the accuracy or usefulness of each map, and you who will continue to develop these maps. Possibility Management is open code. If you understand it, you are qualified to use it. You are also responsible for the outcome of its use, and for its further development.
The Map of Possibility starts with a vertical line drawn in the center of the page. This line represents the only thing that is true on this map – that everything is neutral; that everything happens without meaning. There is no good or bad, no better or worse, no right or wrong, and no positive or negative. Not even the fact that everything is meaningless has any meaning. What is, is, as it is, and occurs with no story attached.
The implications of this declaration of neutrality are vast, although they all derive from one source: radical responsibility. There is no such thing as a problem. It is impossible to be a victim of circumstances. You cannot be at the effect of a situation because you are busily creating the situation. All of psychology is a virtual reality. Conflicts are theatrical pieces enacted am
ong Boxes; you as a being cannot have a conflict. Reasons have no power. Irresponsibility is a complete illusion.
MAP OF POSSIBILITY
This is a map of what is possible right now. What you are doing right now is creating.
You create by making stories about what is.
The world is rich in evidence, so you can make up any story about anything.
You do not make up stories for no reason. Every story has a Purpose.
You are either aware of the Purpose of your story or you are not.
If you are aware of the Purpose of your story then your actions serve conscious Purposes.
If you are not aware of the Purpose of your story your actions serve unconscious Purposes.
This map is not about good or bad. It is about responsible or irresponsible creating.
King or Queen of the underworld is Gremlin – feels glad when someone else feels pain. Serves Shadow “hidden purpose” Principles. King or Queen of the upperworld is Archetypal man or woman – feels glad when someone heals, learns, changes or succeeds, when Winning is Happening. Serves Bright “true destiny” Principles. When you have clarity about your hidden purpose and your true destiny all you get is a chance to make a conscious choice about what you are creating right now. This is a useful choice.
Radiant Joy Brilliant Love Page 58