My mind analyzes. I wonder where this one came from. How much does this one cost? Where would I put it? Why would I ever want one of these? Thinking, thinking, thinking, trying to figure it out.
The shopkeeper continues with his door-opening instructions. “There is only God. To adore something is to recognize that thing’s inherent divinity. This recognition brings that thing to life. Adoration allows the light that is there to arise and radiate. The adored then becomes a doorway to all of reality. To go through the doorway we must be detached from form.”
Huh? I study the guy’s features. He must be sixty, short, big nose, gray beard, elegant but comfortable threads. Interesting guy. I pull out my pocket-sized notebook and start inconspicuously jotting down what he says.
I slowly move through the shop, each step bringing me closer to being within range of actually picking up one of the bronzes. I write studiously as I walk. The shopkeeper continues, “Meditating on the bronzes is a training exercise. Their form modifies our form by a kind of imprint. They train our ability to perceive. The more we are formed by the bronzes, the more they can reveal themselves to us.”
On my third time around I see pieces that were invisible on my second pass. How can they appear now? Where were they before? Behind my own barriers? Covered by my own fears? Does the process of gazing upon the bronzes cause my mind to momentarily slacken its rigid grip on my experience of reality so that the previously incomprehensible can appear?
In a distracted moment of random gazing upon the rich assortment of metallic geometries and forms, my breath catches in my throat. What is that? I notice a strange physical sensation. It is a warm gentle electric tingling deep in the center of my chest. The after-shock ripples out through my limbs and hangs there gently humming. What is that?
Is this experience the result of some new factor? Or was it there already and I just never noticed it before? I am stuck with an experience and no words to name it.
I intently search through the figures before me. Suddenly I find the source. It is her! The golden one! Four arms outstretched, sitting with one leg folded across. She is less than five inches tall. She is present. Waiting. (She seems very good at waiting.) And the sensation comes again, only more so. Dzonggg! It feels as though there is a smiling upon me from whatever is empowering that statue. I sense it deep in my chest, a quickening within. The Countenance of a Goddess. I gaze at her and a circuit clicks home. My heart has found an Archetypal food source. It is now irrefutable: whatever it means, however it works, I have been touched by the bronze and the touch is good.
The shopkeeper is still rambling, “The purpose for the existence of the universe is self delight.”
For me, a scientist, this is a very bizarre moment! Why this statue? Six others nearly identical sit side by side with her. I pick one of the others up and feel its hard cold metallic weight. There is nothing illusionary about the bronze. I look at their labels: “Durga,” says one. “Kali,” reads another. “Shakti,” the next. Confusion as authority, I think to myself. That figures! The opposite of my desire for a rational authority. This forces me to rely on my internal sensing and take authority for my own authority, even if it contradicts existent authority, like Shakespeare, who was in this case wrong when he wrote “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” These deities might all be “roses” but only one of them smells sweet to me. There is no logical reason, yet that one shiny figure touches me at the core.
I walk away. From across the room I surreptitiously watch other shoppers to see if anyone else notices her, to see if she is calling out to just anyone, to see if she is a prostitute. No. No one else is affected. No one else even sees her.
But I do. So I make a wild decision. I buy her. As if love could be bought, I think. Do not ask me the price. The shopkeeper smiles kindly, says, “That’s a good one!” I smile back. I heard him say the same thing to his previous customers. He wraps her in a wrinkled scrap of Indian newsprint. I tuck her under my arm and bring her home.
I place her on my desk in my office. A few days go by. A week. The moment comes when I haphazardly remember that she is there. As I scrutinize the form and detail of her feet, outstretched arms, bare chest, the torch, knife, ball and snake in her four hands, her fancy hat and well-rubbed face, I make an internal observation. By experimentation I realize that I have a choice. Either my mind is there thinking, analyzing and judging, or, I can be-with her. It is one or the other, not both. I can sustain a distinct conscious space for experiencing her, or I can fill up that space with word-salad from my mind. This then is the first requirement: if I am to experience the deity then it must somehow be that the analytical mind is not there.
For the mind, not being there is no different from death. So to encounter the deity, I must first be prepared to die. This does not mean that I need to be childish or adaptive; it does not mean that I need to give up my power. Of what use is a weak irresponsible admirer to a deity? She needs a sanctuary of intentionally devoted attention to work in. Can I put the mind out to pasture for a few minutes? With that challenge the “Goddess experiment” begins in earnest.
The shopkeeper had said to be detached from form. But I adore her form! The beauty of her face, the cheekbones, her forehead, her knees, the curve of her breasts, the glow of her golden skin! No… actually that is not true. The form itself is not beautiful. The form becomes beautiful through my Adoration! At this expansion in my understanding the doorway suddenly opens wider for me and the experience of Adoration gets way too intense. I reflexively return to my office work. There are things I have to get done you know…
A few days later I decide to stop flirting and instead make it formal. These are important experiments. The nature of reality is being revealed. The physical sensation in my chest is repeatable. Something is happening.
I have a realization. If I am going to get this, it boils down to one thing: personal experience. I usually try to find answers outside of my experience, through my mind. But if I am really going to get the transmission I must get it essentially.
So I set aside specific amounts of time to practice encountering the Goddess through my little bronze doorway of Adoration. In doing so, I discover Countenance.
Things begin to change. First, the word “her” suddenly becomes sacred. What an exquisite precious sound! Saying “her” becomes a holy experience. The Feminine needs to be cared for; such fineness, such delicacy. I notice that when she experiences the care and dignity of my respect she becomes strong and indomitable, radiating her strength back to me.
The experiments continue. What is being discovered? When I practice adoring the bronze something else shows up. The space shifts. The most intense impersonal sensation of unconditional Love permeates every atom in the space where I sit with her, thicker and sweeter than honey. All doubts, all self-loathing vaporize in the radiant Joy of this brilliant Love.
And she changes too. I am no longer looking at a bronze. No longer is it simply a womanly form. I have Countenance with a Goddess, fully present, benevolent, eternal. Having the Countenance of a Goddess puts me on my knees. How could she be so? A moment before she was just a small golden body, imperfect, mortal. Now behold! The Goddess in full blooming radiance and beauty, all wisdom gazing back at me with a Love that is so intense my breath stops, so compassionate that my heart no longer needs to beat by itself.
My body shudders. Neither laughter nor tears come, although I think they must. Love burns through emotional indulgence like fire through straw. The contamination is burned away before I even feel the heat. Emotionalism is without substance. What remains in me is objective awe.
I find that I do not want to turn away, ever. But, if I keep gazing, all my secrets will be revealed, all my faults, all my failings. Then Love eats even those thoughts and all I can experience is being totally, unconditionally accepted by the Goddess, just exactly as I am. It is this close to being unbearable.
I ask myself, Why me? Why do I receive such blessings?
&nbs
p; The shopkeeper’s words leap out from my journal, “The mood of wonder, awe, majesty and ecstasy when we behold the Goddess makes us more human. It does not separate us from others who do not feel these things.”
I realize that I am being healed, made round and whole. What is healing me? Love. Where does the Love come from? The Love seems bi-directional. Love comes through me toward the Goddess and she recognizes and fully experiences that Love. At the same time Love comes through her toward me and I recognize and experience that Love. Wave after wave, tide after tide. Endless Love that can never go away. The Goddess conducts what I conduct. As I become conscious of what I give and receive the recognition completes a circuit and makes the Love conscious. When Love becomes conscious of itself it brings creation to life. The reverberation of transforming Archetypal Love into conscious Archetypal Love produces a substance in the world and a sensation in the body called Countenance.
We can avoid love, deny love, covet love, fear love, subvert love, but it is never Love that changes. It is us. Love is Love, impersonal, pure, powerful, and the most abundant thing in the universe.
The shopkeeper again: “Love is a completely free-standing radiance.” (At some point I have to ask myself how this guy discovers these things …)
How much ecstasy can I tolerate? Why should life suddenly be so delightful?
“God’s wish for creation is that creation have the same wish for God.” That is what the shopkeeper had told those people.
Recognizing that my Love of the Goddess as Archetypal Feminine is as strong, clear, true and as deeply irreducible as the Goddess’ Love of the Archetypal Masculine – that is ecstatic. Love consciously recognizing Love. The recognition happens through two physical objects that are nothing more than mud that has been structured fine enough to become conscious of its own consciousness. Love is all there is. Love is already there. I use the Goddess to become conscious of Love, and she uses me for the same thing. It takes both of us to complete the circuit. Love meets Love.
Just as light shining through air is invisible until it hits something, consciousness only manifests when there is a piece of creation to reflect it. Consciousness manifests according to the complexity and maturity of the matter through which it manifests. I observe: A Goddess is elegant and sophisticated enough to recognize the Love you have of the Goddess, and your Adoration makes you elegant and sophisticated enough to recognize the Love she has of you.
But what about between times? What about between times? This is worrisome. Because it is mostly between times. Longing for gazing at the Goddess with Love and having the chance that the Goddess could be delighted and gaze back at me with Love is strong longing. The longing may not go away. Experiencing the lack of once having been in Paradise and not being there now may not be a pleasant experience, and it may stay with me forever. I feel the longing when I sigh. I feel the longing as a physical ache in my chest every time I remember what is possible. The words “wistful,” “pensive” and “melancholy” acquire a forceful immediacy.
Two other things the shopkeeper said that day: “Even when you have found the Beloved you are still yearning for the Beloved. This is the broken heart. To be is heart breaking.”
And: “How do you put your attention on the Divine? Look to what your attention is drawn to relative to the Divine – and then that is where you put your attention.”
Anything could be used as a doorway if you put the proper kind of attention on it.
Here we have the paradox. What is the right kind of attention? What is the key? When Bugs Bunny the comic strip rabbit comes to a solid rock wall, he can pull out a paintbrush, paint a doorway on the rock, open the door and walk right through. That is a high level skill. Painting doorways requires taking uncompromising responsibility for sourcing the way things are.
The man hunting Bugs Bunny is Elmer Fudd, Mr. Normal. When Bugs Bunny vanishes through the stone, Elmer Fudd tries to follow. But poor Elmer smacks his face into the stone. For Elmer Fudd it does not matter what is painted on the rock. A rock wall is not a door; it is a rock wall.
We are each faced with the same dilemma as Elmer Fudd. Is a bronze a bronze? Or is it a doorway?
The shopkeeper in the artifact gallery provides his customers with some assistance for doing experiments that help them to unfold that dilemma. He sells bronzes that have already been used as doorways for centuries. These doors have greased hinges. They already know what to do. They can open almost all by themselves.
Some of us might be thinking that we would like to open a door so the Goddess can come for a visit. We assume the door won’t open because it is locked. We think that to open the door we must find some kind of key. We look for the key; we try to find the key with our mind. But it could well be that the key cannot be found with our mind. The key may be Love, and the key of Love can only be found with our heart. If the key to open the door is Love, then we must undertake a different form of experimenting.
SECTION 16-B
Navigating the Space of Relationship
As human beings we can know and relate to each other in limitless forms and ways. Each way that we relate to another person is defined by the qualities of the space of relationship that we create for the relating.
All of the spaces of relationship hang together in a continuous labyrinth just like all of the countries, lands and seas of the world hang together on the continuous globe of the Earth. There is nothing innately good or bad about any particular space of relationship, just like there is nothing innately good or bad about any particular country. And, in each space, we can create and experience unique results with different qualities of relationship; just as in each country we can encounter different cultures, religions, political systems, laws and customs. (See Section 8-D for more on this subject.)
For example, each of the following relationships occurs in a different space of relationship: client to car salesman, father to son, sister to sister, beggar to businessman, farmer to wife, artist to artist, speeder to policeman, and so on. There are endless possible forms of relationship. We do not have to go looking for relationship. We are already in relationship.
We can relate to the collection of all possible spaces of relationship altogether as the Great Labyrinth of Spaces. We can learn the skills of navigating from one space to another space. This set of skills can be referred to as “navigating space.”
Part of learning to navigate space involves learning some of the characteristics of relational space. For example, there are an unlimited number of spaces. Every space is connected to every other space. This means that, wherever you want to go, you can (at least theoretically) get there from here. Just because there is conflict and confusion with somebody in one moment does not mean that there cannot be respect and clarity with that same person in the next moment. Navigating from one space to the next space can produce radically contrasting experiences.
You do not have to know this, but the Great Labyrinth of Spaces comes into existence through a frictional interface between union with the Archetypal Beloved and the illusion of separation from the Archetypal Beloved that comes from having a body, a mind and emotions.
Through exploring and experimenting with navigating the Labyrinth you will make some surprising discoveries. You may find that men cannot find their way through to the Heart of the Labyrinth alone. You may also discover that women know their way through the Labyrinth instinctively. But, if a woman is not “awakened” into Archetypal Woman she will not remember that she knows the way through the Labyrinth. To navigate space to the Heart of the Labyrinth, men and women work together in a special way. Archetypal Man puts his appreciative attention on his Woman and enjoys her company so much that she starts enjoying it herself. Suddenly she remembers the way to the Heart of the Labyrinth and can gracefully lead her Man there.
SECTION 16-C
Bringing the Woman to Life
Archetypal Masculinity naturally includes the capacity to completely leave the analytical mind aside and stand before an
object or a person with naked Adoration. Archetypal Adoration has the capacity to do what E. J. Gold calls, “bringing the Woman to life.”
What does this mean?
Let us start with a piano analogy. Anyone can make sounds on a piano. Even without fingers or ears, a person can bang on the keys with their elbows, their feet, or a stick. But bringing the piano to life is an entirely different matter. Bringing the piano to life by calling beautiful inspiring music through its keyboard and pedals to fill up the hearts and lives of listeners takes concentrated effort. Years of practice refine both the sensitivity and the skills to connect to the source of where such music comes from.
Similarly, anyone can be in relationship with another person. Even if they have no mind or cannot speak, they can irritate a person and create an aggressive persecutor, victim, or rescuer relationship to them. But to bring another person to life is an entirely different matter. Bringing a person to life by calling to Love, kindness, generosity and joy elegantly through them, until they experience it themselves and can play it back to you on their own, takes years of concentrated effort. Such effort is no different from seeking mastery of any musical instrument. The practice is to develop sensitivity, responsibility, timing, tone of voice, clarity, intention, attention, people-reading skills, being-with skills, listening, gentleness and mood, all of which add rich extensions to the normal experiences of life.
If what brings Archetypal Woman to life is Adoration by Archetypal Man, this means that for woman to come to life the man needs to shift to Archetypal first!
In recognizing that the man needs to shift first, woman might easily despair. What man do you know who is willing or able to consciously shift from ordinary to Archetypal in order to place his Archetypal Attention on his woman so that she shifts from ordinary to Archetypal and remembers the way and can lead him to the Heart of the Labyrinth? Such Men are not produced by our culture, therefore such Men must be made, not found. Making such a Man might be hopeless. Making such a Man comes previous to step one in the Handbook for Archetypal Maidens! The Manmaking step is not even listed, because it is assumed to have already happened! Until you make your partner into such a Man, you do not have a vehicle for exploring Archetypal domains. On first glance the job of making man into Man involves an unreasonable amount of work and risk. In short, the task is extremely unfair!
Radiant Joy Brilliant Love Page 68