So beware. This section is intended to alert you to the unthought reasons why you choose what you choose and why you do what you do. Make the mechanisms of your unconscious psychological habit patterns visible to yourself, or you will suffer in their hands mercilessly.
These approximations – like sex … chocolate – seem innocent enough. They certainly are easy enough to get. Easier anyway than extraordinary human or Archetypal Relationship and Countenance. In fact, chocolate produces almost the same effect in the mind and body as Countenance (50 percent of the effect …well, 20 percent anyway), and unlike Countenance, chocolate works every time. Countenance only works when it works.
But, the experience of eating chocolate or imbibing alcohol, the endorphins from overeating and the hormones from sex are not Countenance. Simply drink, eat or have sex and the experience momentarily arises. Countenance involves more of the mystery, and comes and goes as it pleases only when a rigorous list of conditions is met.
Beware the tendency to substitute for Countenance. It is not a fair trade.
Look around the world again. What is more plentiful? Archetypal Love or sex? Countenance or chocolate? Sex in all its glorious forms is easy compared with Archetypal Love. Psychic sex is even easier than physical sex – and the next section will be devoted solely to this delicate subject.
As soon as a practitioner loses even a little integrity, as soon as their practice gets sloppy to even a small degree, the “love feast”(a term that was applied to the gatherings of the early Christians) leaves the domain of ecstatic communion with Archetypal energies and enters the arena of egoic indulgence.
Protecting the Rare and Endangered
It is not that sex or chocolate (or videos, or shopping, or overwork, or screaming at your kids, or jogging, etc.) are bad or wrong. They are not. Everything has its place. It is just that Countenance is so rare on Earth. Six billion people, and how many of them are in Countenance right now? Almost none. And the same with Archetypal Love.
Your efforts and your trying are precious. To exchange the real thing (that can change possibilities with planet-wide impact) for cheap imitation substitutes is as close to a crime as I can imagine. And yet it is completely understandable. Sex and chocolate, and other forms and substances, can be very rich experiences, and they are much easier to come by in comparison to opening the doorway to Countenance. No one could argue with you if you want to let your together-sitting sessions slip into sexuality and a nice dinner out. But something is definitely lost.
I am begging you to pay attention, practice, discriminate, use discipline. Be a little rigid about this. Practice is extraordinary. Practice is always different from whatever you are being strongly invited to participate in by people working in normal spaces. Reserve a place in your world for the not-normal.
Protecting your efforts to practice Archetypal Love is like protecting an endangered species. If you are reading this book and practicing Archetypal Relationship, you are an endangered species. I am trying to protect you. Why? Because I love you. Because I hope that you will keep going, keep experimenting, keep trying even when it does not work.
So what? It does not work? So what? When you accept the fact that it did not work in this moment, the next moment has entirely new possibilities. If it does not work right now, that is no reason to believe that it will not work right now. So what? Keep practicing.
SECTION 17-C
Warning: Psychic Sex
Oh, jeeeez! Another warning!
Yes. Another warning. And I am particularly sorry to have to open this can of worms. Especially here toward the end of the book. Psychic sex is closer to a pit of cobras than a can of worms. I am sorry. It is going to be relentless. I already know it is going to be “too much” from having entered this consideration with my friends. I remember how it was when it was first opened for me. Only later did I realize what valuable friends they were to have the courage and integrity to bring this up for me. The insights were horrendous. Yeccch! I am sorry to be bringing this up for you.
Nobody ever told us these things before. Nobody ever explained what was going on with psychic sex, and what happens because of it. I think it is better to know now and to start getting aware of your involvement in psychic sex, rather than to continue pretending. Not that you will necessarily be able to do anything about it for awhile. But it is good to know. Then you can start checking it out for yourself.
At the level of your body’s knowledge, you already know everything I am going to say about psychic sex. That does not matter, because if you are anything like most of us, you have not yet been willing to own, at a conscious level, what your body already knows – and for a very good reason. Once you become aware of the depth to which you are involved in psychic sex, it can ruin your day.
Psychic sex. If you are not consciously not doing it, then you are doing it.
The consideration of psychic sex has nothing to do with interpretations of right and wrong, or good and bad – psychic sex is not a moral issue. We are not speaking about “should” or “should not.” Psychic sex is about physics. The laws of psychic sex become significant as soon as you discover that what you thought was almost nothing, in fact, leaves a long-lasting, powerful, energetic residue – a stain on your psychic bed sheets, so to speak. You take notice of psychic sex as soon as you feel the depth to which psychic sex entangles you with other people.
On the path of evolution your perceptions are gradually refined. Sooner or later your perceptions become sensitive enough to notice that psychic sex is happening. Like an iceberg reveals itself dead ahead on a dark, calm sea, psychic sex suddenly looms into your view. Gradually your sensitivity matures, until one day you discern energies and connections that you were totally unaware of before. You notice that, although these influences are indeed subtle, they are also deep and powerful. It might take longer for you to notice these effects than you might have guessed. You may unconsciously delay getting to this point of realization by keeping denial mechanisms in place, because psychic sex has so many payoffs, so many pleasures, and so many advantages for Gremlin. For example:
Advantages of Psychic Sex
• We can do psychic sex in public and be “invisible,” because everybody else is also doing it and nobody is talking about it. We all have made an unspoken agreement to look the other way.
• There is no physical proof! No lipstick smudges or perfume residue, no stains.
• There is no danger of pregnancy.
• We can do it with almost anybody, anywhere, anytime, even in our dreams.
• There is no chance of contracting dangerous venereal diseases or AIDS.
• It is quick. No foreplay necessary. Success is almost guaranteed. Failure is not a problem.
• In the moment we are doing it, it feels fantastic. It is very rewarding to the Box.
We don’t ordinarily realize it, but our casual involvements with others is actually psychic sex. These interactions are so common, personally, and so rampant, culturally, that until we understand what is actually going on it goes almost unnoticed.
When we become sensitive enough, unwanted psychic sexual interactions are suddenly experienced as an interference in our life, perhaps even as a contamination. Only at that point will we be motivated to make the sacrifices and efforts necessary to shift our behaviors in this area. Only when we know the true costs will we willingly suffer the discomforts of changing our unconscious habits.
It gradually dawns on us that we have been unconsciously or semi-consciously exchanging energetic sexual “substances” with members of the opposite sex (or possibly of the same sex) – a momentary glance, a shared smile – for almost as long as we can remember.
The seeming innocence of a momentary glance will vanish when we experience what we are truly creating for ourselves and others. Shared smiles will take on a devastating implication. No longer will the fleeting fantasy of full or partial nakedness leave such a sweet after-taste upon our nervous system. When we start to fe
el the true impact of psychic sex in our lives, it can be a shattering realization. Things can no longer stay the same.
What is psychic sex? Think back and remember the last time you were strolling along a shopping mall or through the center of town. Part of your mind was occupied with thinking about what you intended to accomplish, whether it was window shopping for shoes, or remembering to pick up a bottle of shampoo. Though most of your conscious attention may have been involved in these intellectual considerations, a deeper and more broadband “animal” part of your mind was scanning the environment for a possible partner with whom you could exchange sexual substances. Unless you consciously stop scanning the sex channel, it happens of its own volition automatically. Unless you intentionally override the program, it proceeds to unerringly complete its designed-in purposes.
You notice when someone else notices you. Others notice when you notice them. If the mutual noticing of each other, which can occur in an instant, reveals a ripeness of conditions, then shhwinggg, the deal is done. It is a momentary zzzztt through the eyes. Briefly imagined possibilities flit through the imagination, and it is accomplished. You know what I am talking about.
How do we alter such behavior when there is a large part of us that is adamantly convinced that this is the best thing that we do in our entire day? When it produces our greatest fulfillment? Our most stimulating aliveness? Our most enjoyable feelings of satisfaction?
The answer is, we start doing experiments when we are ready to work at the level of psychic sex. What kind of experiments? Here are some ideas: “Fake it.” Pretend that psychic sex is not part of who you are anymore. Declare that energetically eating the sexual substances of strangers is not to your taste. Be different, suddenly, without warning, for no reason. Give no explanation. Be different as an act of volitional theater. There needs to be no gradual or rational step-by-step procedure for changing behaviors. Just fake it until you make it, until it becomes so for you.
By habit, psychic sex may be one of the most cherished experiences in our daily life. The truth is that sexual substances from others are a drug no different from sugar, caffeine, nicotine, adrenaline (released into our system by the adrenal glands during a life drama), endorphins (released by the brain into our system when we overeat), tetra-hydra-cannabinol (marijuana), alcohol, and so on. Stopping the constant use of this drug may eliminate pleasures that we have enjoyed for years.
It is not uncommon for a man or woman who is making moves toward stopping psychic sex to experience deep grief as if having lost a close friend. We might even ask ourselves questions about the purpose of life without the satisfaction of savoring sexual substances from friends and strangers. The degree of pain experienced during our experiments is the degree to which we indulge in nostalgia. The pain arises out of wishing for the ignorant bliss of the unconscious “good old days.”
As we are beginning to experiment, a common mistake is to confuse psychic sex with communion. There is a vast difference between the two. In psychic sex there is an exchange of substances. In communion there is no exchange of substances, but rather an acknowledgement of mutual recognition of what is. Profound communion results from acknowledging deeper levels of reality. Communion is a recognition without exchange. Psychic sex involves – at least momentarily – getting inside of another person’s personal space. In communion, the sanctuary of the other is honored with infinite respect, at the same time that our absolute commonality is implicitly understood.
After psychic sex you can feel the foreign sexual substance in your body as a whole-body titillating, tingling sensation. The reverberation can last for months, years even. It is a very pleasant high, not too different from the sensation of having eaten sugar or chocolate. Sexual substance in our body fills in the void of existential aloneness.
If we examine our life, we may be able to remember such exchanges from the recent past – weeks, days, or moments ago. Further recollection brings up exchanges from years ago, perhaps even from childhood. Some of these incidents may have been turning points in our lives. Why can we remember these exchanges? Could it be because we are still carrying the substances that we exchanged? An older woman, a former nun, affirmed that she was a frequent target for psychic sex as a very young nun, and only too gladly participated, psychically, in all her naïveté. She still remembers the experience.
There is not much difference between an exchange of psychic sexual substances, and an exchange of personal mementos. If a woman gives a man a necktie by which to remember her, and in exchange that man gives the woman a necklace, they will be connected to each other through these objects until such time as they return them to the other, or dispose of the objects completely. The same is true for sexual substances, the only difference being that sexual substances are “stickier” than material objects. Sexual substances are subtler; they cling more firmly, and are far more difficult to get rid of, in the same way that we cannot easily get rid of a memory. The harder we try to get rid of a particular memory, the more we think about it.
Even though a psychic sexual energy exchange may have involved only a moment of time, the results can last forever. The exchange creates bonds that can only be undone through specific forms of intentional or “accidental” recapitulation, meaning, to actually re-enter the moment of doing, using a specific formulation that causes either an undoing or a completion.
We do not normally acknowledge that psychic sex has happened. We think that since nobody has seen it happen, then nothing can be proved. We think that we can get away with it all the time. The truth is that there are no secrets. Our psychic-sexual-substance exchanges are completely visible to our mates, to our children, to our relatives, and to our friends, should they ever care to look. A common agreement between people is to pretend that psychic sexual exchanges cannot be seen. Here is a dangerous question to ask: What kind of holy sanctuary is created when we make a pact to be dishonest with each other?
How It Happens
Psychic sex starts as a field effect. Before you even see a person you can feel them approaching. How else do you know when and where to place your attention, at just the right moment to catch the other person’s eye? Zzzzzzt!
We develop unconscious art forms to cleverly manipulate other people’s attention. For example, in meetings, the person who “accidentally” sits across from you is typically proposing to be your partner for psychic sex. Most questions asked during meetings are timed and directed so as to get someone’s attention for psychic sex. Women (and men to a lesser degree) do subtle energetic warfare, staking out or trying to steal psychic sex territory and competing for attention to get psychic sex from prestigious people.
An exchange of sexual substances can take place in as short a time as one-half of a second, and it can occur through glass. Psychic sex can happen while you are driving down the street and exchange glances with a pedestrian. It can occur at a subway stop when you look in the eyes of someone sitting in another train going in the opposite direction.
Psychic sex can occur through the mouth while talking or breathing with the mouth open. Watch Val Kilmer exchange sexual substances through his mouth in the film called The Saint.
Psychic sex can occur through the eyes. The exchange occurs instantaneously after contact is established, which takes about one second.
Psychic sex can occur through the written word, through implication in language and timing, through what is not said, what is merely indicated or referred to. And then we invented technology.
Computer Sex
When this manuscript was first started, the Internet did not even exist. It is a stunning acknowledgement of how fast our culture changes, that now a separate section is required to address the impact of psychic computer sex.
Sex of any kind occurs through our imagination. This is why we can have orgasms in our dreams. This is why we can masturbate. You are responsible for imagining the success of your own sexuality. If you cannot imagine sexuality happening for you, then it does not matter who you
are with, or what the circumstances are, it ain’t a gonna work for ya.
Telephones have long been used for stimulating sexual imagination. Panting, moaning, naughty words, screaming in ecstasy, dial that 888 number and a delightful (or frightening) sexual fantasy partner is there to play with your mind.
Then, starting in 1992, the general public first gained access to the Internet. Given human ingenuity, it was not long before Internet sex was possible. The sounds are the same on the Internet as on the telephone, but a new dimension was added: the visual. The human mind is so visually dominated that Internet sex has an impact several orders of magnitude greater than telephone sex. In short, by Internet sex we are bowled over.
The picture in our imagination about what is happening in our sexual fantasy changes, with Internet sex, from being sourced by our imagination to being sourced by the computer screen. The picture comes in through our eyes with such clarity that it replaces the image generated by our imagination. And the computer picture is perfect. When pornographic films were only available in adult seXXX shops, people were afraid of being caught walking out from a private film booth. Now in the privacy of our own office, Internet sex is soaring.
The virus of Internet sex has massively infected the minds of modern man and woman – Internet sex is perfect for the mind. But here’s the catch. After a short exposure to Internet sex we may start losing our ability to internally generate our own sexual images without the computer. Our neurons have been externally stimulated and we can become addicted to that stimulation.
It turns out that, as a result of the strength and duration of the impact of Internet sex images on our sexual imagination center, we are confronted with making a choice: computer sex or real sex. Let it sink in. The human mind does not allow for both. If we decide to choose real sex over computer sex, then, according to participants in our trainings, it can require six to twelve months or longer of healing time, absolute abstinence, for our mind to decontaminate itself from the fantasy images of computer sex before we can truly enjoy real sex again. Since Internet sex produces the same energetic residue as psychic sex, your partner knows what you’ve been up to. Think clearly before you make that click.
Radiant Joy Brilliant Love Page 71