by Nikki Ash
“I am originally. Just back while I’m in between jobs.” I find the K-cups, an off-brand, but they’ll do, and load one up in the machine. While it gurgles to life, I lean against the countertop and grip its edge to keep my hands from reaching for her. “I’m a Wildland Firefighter.”
She nods, then laughs. “I have no idea what that means.”
“You know those big wildfires you hear of on the news out west?”
Avery’s eyes widen. “You fight with those?”
“Nine months out of the year. I’m in between contracts right now, but I’m going back for another contract in a few days.”
“So, what brings you back to Florida?” she asks. “Why not stay out west all year round?”
Good question. I consider my words while I make one cup and start another. “You want cream or sugar?” I ask.
“Both,” she says.
I stir them in and finally answer, “Family, I guess.”
She makes a noise of understanding in her throat as she sips her coffee. “That’ll do it. That’s why I’ve stayed here. I’ve never been out of the state. I imagine it’s pretty different where you go, even without the firefighters.”
“You’ll have to go sometime. Nothing like it.”
She takes the offered coffee cup and smiles sadly. “Thanks. Maybe one day.”
“What about you? What do you do when you’re not working at the restaurant or bartending?” I sit on the small recliner with my own cup of coffee and suck it back even though it’s piping hot. I could use the mental clarity before I do something stupid. Like beg her to stay with me.
“Not much,” Avery answers with a self-deprecating laugh. “I’d like to go back to school one day, but for now all I do is work. Nothing as exciting as fighting wildfires.” She lets out a yawn, then an embarrassed laugh. “I’m sorry, it’s been a long day. I worked a double shift. The coffee is sobering me up, but unfortunately, I’m still dog tired. Some company I am, huh?”
“Do you want to crash here?” I ask before I can stop myself. At her curious glance, I say, “Just sleep, I promise. Or I can call someone to take you home.”
She’s already shaking her head before I finish the suggestion. “No, that’s okay. Um, if it’s not weird, I can sleep here and walk back to my car in the morning. I mean, if you’re okay with that.”
Okay with it? It’d be a relief not to wake up all alone shrouded in nightmares. “I don’t mind. As long as you don’t care if I snore.”
Avery giggles. “I’m so tired, I probably won’t even notice.”
“Let me get you some clothes.” The skin-slick jeans and tight restaurant T-shirt don’t leave anything to the imagination, but they also probably wouldn’t be comfortable to sleep in. Plus, I like the thought of having her in my stuff, my scent on her skin. Like an indelible mark in some way.
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
I take her empty cup and my half-drunk mug to the sink and retrieve a loose T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants from my suitcase in the bedroom. When I turn, she’s already standing at the door, watching me. I’d be lying if I said having her near me with a bed so close didn’t make me think of her in it—without the clothes.
“I’ll let you get changed.”
While she undresses in the bedroom, I change into another pair of sweatpants in the attached bath. I do us both the courtesy of brushing my teeth and ignore the red-eyed reflection in the mirror. She’s lying under the covers when I come out. Maybe I like seeing her there more than I should.
You’re a lonely piece of shit, Walker.
But I get into bed with her anyway, sliding in between the sheets to soak up her warmth. Without any urging, she scoots to my side and wraps her arm around my waist like we’d been doing this for years. Maybe it hadn’t been her looks that had stopped me from going home by myself. Maybe the lost parts in me had recognized something similar in her.
I mean to tell her I don’t normally do this either, but for the first time in months, I fall asleep without wondering what nightmares are waiting for me.
Chapter Four
Avery
Maybe I didn’t make it through the storm.
Maybe this is all a dream.
I never thought I’d see him again after that night, though I’d done enough social media stalking to try and find him. Kind of hard to do when I didn’t even know his last name.
Walker doesn’t break stride, merely shifts his destination to my direction, his long, lean legs eating up the distance between us. My feet are glued to the earth beneath them and it’s like going through the storm a second time to have him right in front of me. He hasn’t changed a bit in months since I last saw him. If anything, he’s even more devastatingly handsome.
Kitted out in a Battleboro Fire and Rescue uniform, he’s not only handsome, he’s heart-stopping. I’d forgotten how tall he is until he comes to a stop in front of me. Nearly six-two to my five-six, he may as well be a giant. I remember waking up that night after being wrapped up in him and I’d felt so safe and protected. I’d never felt like that before in my life. It’s addicting—that feeling of being safe. A girl could learn to get used to having a man make her feel protected. Maybe that’s why I’d run.
“Christ, Avery. Is that you? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
I have to close my eyes hard and pull myself back to the present. “No, it’s not me. I’m fine. It’s my neighbors. They’re trapped inside their house. Can you help?” I want to take the words back as soon as they come out of my mouth, but Mary and Tom need my help. That’s all this is. That’s all it can be.
“Sure. Lead the way.”
I’m hyper aware of him right behind me and my mind is racing the whole walk up to the front door. All I can think is that I need to get away from him as quickly as possible.
“If you’ll keep them calm, I’ll see if I can get this tree out of their door. Have them stay back just in case.”
Nodding, I go to the front window and get as close as I can. “Mary, there’s a firefighter here to help. He wants you guys to stay away from the door while he tries to get the block out of the way. Okay?”
“Okay, Avery. You tell him thank you for us!” Mary shouts and then everything is drowned out by the buzzing of the chainsaw.
I back away a few feet, but still stay in view of the front window in case Mary or Tom need me. Naturally, my eyes are drawn to Walker as he attempts to cut the limb down and I can’t seem to look away no matter how much I order myself to. His uniform is covered in a fine layer of dust. They must have been working with chainsaws all morning clearing out paths to houses. If the dark circles under his eyes are any indication, he’s been at it a while already.
A dozen questions spring to mind. Namely, what the hell he’s doing here of all places and why? Then I wonder how long he plans to stay. If he’s going back for another contract, I’d prefer he did it sooner rather than later…before things get even more complicated than they already are.
I worry at a nail, biting it down to the quick, as he cuts another divot into the limb. Sweat beads on his forehead and a dark furrow is already soaked into the material of his uniform T-shirt at his back. My mind instantly goes to the identical one I stole from him that I secreted away in my underwear drawer. I take another step away from him to find a pocket of cool air to breathe, but there’s none to be found.
The limb gives way with a furious crack and Walker heaves it to the side with a strength that has all the feminine parts of me clench up in appreciation. Yes. I definitely need to make a quick getaway. Clearly the months haven’t been enough to dull the effect he has on me. Though I’m not sure a decade would be enough time to accomplish that.
Another few minutes and he has the door all clear. Despite my reservations, I really do care about Mary and Tom, so I follow close behind as he sets the chainsaw aside, then knocks and enters. Their living room is a mess of broken glass and debris that Walker and I carefully pick over to where the elderly couple is hove
ring in their bedroom. Seeing them, I’m reminded of Grandma Rosie and the baby and know I have to get home soon. Grandma Rosie may have moments of lucidity, but she can’t be in care of the baby for long.
“Are you two all right?” Walker asks. “I’m with the fire department. Do you need any medical attention?”
He conducts an interview with both of them as I watch, and I’m struck by his competence and efficiency. I’ve imagined him as a firefighter plenty of times before, but there’s something more vulnerable about this aspect of his job that I’d never considered. There’s a humane kindness in his bandaging of a scrape on Mary’s forehead and a respectful concern as he takes Tom’s heart rate and blood pressure. The fluttering inside me is located decidedly north this time. My heart can’t seem to handle watching him care for these people.
“You’ll call our daughter for us?” Mary asks for the second time. “She’ll come out to get us when the roads are clear enough.”
“Yes, ma’am. And I’ll come by in the morning with food and water for you. They’re supposed to be delivering some from Red Cross, the food banks. Do you have enough to last until then?”
“We’ll be fine. We appreciate all your help,” Tom answers.
“Any time. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“You let me know if you need anything before then,” I tell Mary.
“Thank you for coming to check on us,” she says. “I don’t think we ever would have gotten out of here if it wasn’t for you.”
“Don’t you worry about it. That’s what neighbors are for. I better go and check on Grandma Rosie.”
“You give that baby of yours some sugar for me,” Mary calls after me.
My heart leaps into my throat and I glance at the porch to make sure Walker didn’t hear her. Thankfully, he’s too busy clearing a path down the walk to the driveway to have paid any mind to us.
“I will,” I answer Mary and close the door behind me before she can say anything else too revealing.
Walker is probably in town in between contracts again. Next season when it’s time for him to leave, he’ll be gone again and that’s probably for the best. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.
He’s waiting for me at the end of their sidewalk, the chainsaw and his kit of supplies at his feet looking like some sort of badass cross between a doctor and a lumberjack. When I get close enough, I open my mouth to say the words that’ll put enough distance between us to keep us both in check, but instead he reaches for me in one smooth movement, then crushes me to his body for a kiss as long and steamy as a Florida afternoon.
Chapter Five
Walker
Past
When I wake up in the middle of the night, it’s to the perfume of her pear-scented shampoo filling my nose. It blots out the usual acrid tang of embers and ash and it’s so welcome, I press my nose into her hair and breathe deep. She’s like the springtime after years of the worst, coldest kind of winter. A cold so deep it almost burns.
She’s wrapped up in a little ball in front of me, her legs tucked up into her chest, her hands folded innocently in front of her face. Somehow, I’d wound up wrapped around her with my thighs pressed close against the backs of hers and my chest framing her back. It’s been so long since I’ve had a woman in bed with me, let alone falling asleep with one. I’d forgotten how comforting it can be to simply hold one with all their softness and curves.
If I weren’t such a fucked-up man, I’d put some room between us. Even though she’d come back to my place, she doesn’t know me. We’ve never met before tonight and I don’t have any claim to her. But that doesn’t have any effect on my lizard brain. All it knows is she’s sweet and smells good and feels like heaven in my arms.
Reluctantly, I regain control of myself and start to pull away. A hand on my forearm stops me. “No, don’t,” comes her sleepy voice. “It’s nice.”
“You don’t mind?” I can’t see her face to read her expression, but I don’t pull away.
“I hope this doesn’t sound as weird as I think it does, but I don’t get to do this sort of thing a lot. Like, the affection sort of thing.”
“I guess that’s a good thing to know.”
“Why do you say that?”
“That you won’t have some angry boyfriend chasing me down.”
She puffs out a little laugh. “No, definitely not. I don’t really have time outside of work to find any boyfriends, so you’re safe.”
I relax back into her, tightening my hold around her waist and pressing more closely against her slender body. “I’m the same way. I work a lot, and I’m gone too much for any real kind of relationship. Gotta admit, though, I do miss this sort of thing.”
“That’s surprising. I would have thought you’d have dozens of women falling at your feet. The whole sexy hero thing you’ve got going on must be pretty irresistible to them.”
With a snort, I say, “Sure, until they realize I’m gone for weeks at a time and can be called away at any second. When I am home, I’m asleep or training. Women don’t normally want to stick around when you don’t.”
There’s a moment of silence and then, “I’m sorry. That must be lonely.”
I lift a shoulder, then remember we’re in the dark. “It can be sometimes, but you stay busy enough to forget. What about you? What keeps you busy outside of work?”
“My grandma. She has Alzheimer’s. She has a nurse during the day while I’m at work, but I take care of her pretty much the rest of the time.”
“What about your parents? Siblings? They don’t help out?”
“My parents passed away when I was younger. They didn’t have any other children. My Grandma Rosie and Grandpa Jim raised me. Before he died, I promised him I’d take care of her. It’s the least I could do. They were wonderful grandparents to me.”
“Your grandma is lucky to have you. I’ve worked with patients as a paramedic who have Alzheimer’s. It’s not an easy job.”
“It’s worth it,” Avery says. “I couldn’t let her be taken care of by strangers, all confused without anything familiar around. She’s lived in the same place pretty much her whole life.”
“What would you do if you didn’t have to take care of her?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve never really thought about it. Grandpa Jim got sick right after I graduated. If I had to pick something, maybe teaching? I really like kids.”
I smile in the darkness. “Yeah? I could see that. You certainly had more patience last night than I would have.”
“You should come on Friday night all you can eat crab legs. It’s a madhouse.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“What about you? Have you always wanted to be a firefighter?”
My answer sticks in my throat. Clearing it, I say, “Pretty much. My brother was killed in a fire when I was ten. I guess I’ve been trying to save him ever since.”
“Oh my God, Walker. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s been a long time.”
“Still. I know how it feels. It doesn’t ever really go away.”
“No, I guess it doesn’t.”
She turns then, fitting her head underneath my chin. Her free arm goes around my waist and I freeze for a second, unsure. Then, I realize she’s giving me a hug and I relax, accepting her feminine strength. I nuzzle my nose back into her hair and let the scent of her shampoo comfort me as much as her arms around me.
I’m not sure who reaches for who first, or maybe we do it at the same time. But somehow our lips find each other in the dark and tangle. There’s desperation there, on both our parts. A need to fill a mutual void. A craving for similarities. To know we’re not alone with our struggles. She tastes like the vanilla from the coffee, almost too sweet to handle, but I can’t stop going back for more. Her groan fills me up and all I want is to hear her do it again and again.
If we only have tonight, then I hope tonight lasts forever.
Avery sheds her clothes as fast as a fox and then makes quick wo
rk of mine, too. “Is this okay?” she asks when she reaches for my sweatpants and I choke out a hoarse, “Yes,” in response.
I wish there were light so I could get a better look at her. I wish there were more time so I could sample and savor every inch of her. But I’m driven by a desperation to be inside her that’s so acute, all I can do is jerk her against my chest and lift one leg over my hip. She reaches between us and positions me, then takes me inside in one smooth motion. Her gasp of pleasure fills the darkness around us as I drive into her obliterating heat.
This isn’t how I’d planned for tonight to go. If I was lucky enough to get her into bed, I planned to make it last, make her come at least twice before we got down to business, but I’ll be lucky if I don’t go off embarrassingly early at this point.
I try to slow down, try to reach between us to get my hands on her so I don’t completely ruin this before we’ve even started, but she pushes my hands away.
“No, don’t. You feel so good.”
“Baby, if I don’t help you out, this is going to be over before it starts.”
She writhes against me and her hands dig into my shoulders. “I don’t need any help. You’re doing just fine.”
At that, I give up trying to rein in any sort of control. My fingers bite into her hips and we come together like crashes of thunder in the middle of a storm. Wild and beautiful and unpredictable. She presses close to me like she’s trying to climb into my skin. I twist us both so she’s on her back. Her arms come around my shoulders, not letting me put any distance between us.
And that’s what does it for me, what sends me over the edge. I don’t know much about her, but in this moment all I know is she needs me. I couldn’t hold back even if I tried. She gasps at the sound of my release and I feel her clench around me a second later, like the physical act of bringing me to the brink is what she needed to get off. If I could come a second time, knowing that would have done it.
We’re quiet as our heartbeats slow and our breathing goes back to normal. I don’t want to get up, break the connection, but the orgasm has rendered me exhausted for the second time. She breathes deeply beneath me and I know she’s close to falling asleep again, too.