by Nikki Ash
“I can help more.”
She meets my gaze and smiles sadly. “I know you want to, but your schedule is as crazy as mine.”
“We’ll figure it out.” I take her hands in mine and squeeze.
She climbs into my lap and kisses me. “I still need to do some reading tonight.”
I slide my hands around her waist and pull her shirt out from the waistband of her pants so I can get my hands on her bare skin. “Guess I’ll have to be quick.”
Which is never a problem with Rylee. Every time I touch her, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. She helps me get her out of her clothes and I lie her down on the couch. Hurriedly I strip myself and cover my dick with a condom.
“One of these days I want to spend hours worshipping you.”
She pulls me down on top of her and her lips take mine, greedy and demanding. So fucking sexy.
I push into her and just like every other time it takes my breath for a moment.
“You smell like lavender and bubble bath.”
“I’m pretty sure there’s more on me than Indie.”
She laughs and then moans when I thrust deeper.
She clings to my shoulders and moves under me. We’re dashing to the finish line trying to beat the real world that threatens to burst the happy bubble we both want to live in.
Dating the mystery girl I dreamed about all these years is nothing like I expected. It’s so much better.
“What are you doing this weekend?” I ask as I finish getting dressed.
Rylee grabs her books and her laptop and takes them to the dining room table. “No plans. I usually take Indie to story time at the library on Saturdays. Do you want to come?”
She goes to the fridge and pulls out two iced coffee drinks. I realize then how tired she must really be. I feel it too, or at least a fraction of it. Pains me to leave. Not that I can be much help while Indie sleeps anyway.
“I don’t think I can. We have a game Saturday.”
“Oh.” She stops short, brows knitted in concentration. “Right. I forgot. Home game this weekend, right?”
“Someone’s been checking in on the jocks, huh?”
“Just on you. I’d offer to come, but I’m not sure Indie would last more than an hour.”
“I don’t know. She’s a pretty big fan, I think.”
“She’s a fan of yours, mostly.”
“It’s fine if you don’t feel up to coming, but I was hoping you’d come out to dinner with my parents after.” I shove my hands in my pockets and attempt to look charming.
I don’t think I succeed because her mouth gapes open.
“I haven’t told them yet, but I know once I do, they’re going to want to meet you.”
“Wow. Yeah. I mean, of course.” She wrings her hands together. “Holy crap. I’m already nervous.”
I step to her and take her into my arms. “They’re gonna love you two.”
Chapter Nine
Rylee
John’s mom pulls me into a hug. It’s the third or fourth time she’s clutched me to her chest. She’s tall and freaky strong. I’m struggling to breathe as she rocks us back and forth. “Oh, you’re such a brave girl doing it on your own these past two years.”
Indie is loving all the attention the Datson family gives her. John holds her as his dad, John Sr., tickles her stomach. The Datson brothers, all dark haired, tall, and varying shades of dark blue eyes, are something else. Jacob, the youngest at fourteen, is the most talkative of the group. Julian, seventeen, has a friendly smile but barely spoke all dinner. Jayden is sixteen and rounds out the brothers as the sullen one who spent most of the time looking at his phone.
I’m finally released, and I take a deep breath.
“You three have to come up to the farm some weekend,” Mrs. Datson, or Jennifer as I’ve been instructed to call her, says.
“My schedule is nuts until the end of the season,” John says.
She swats at him and then wraps her arms around him and Indie.
“Anything you need, you let me know,” she instructs me. She points a finger at John. “Make sure my beautiful granddaughter has everything she needs.”
She cups his cheek and looks to Indie so lovingly. I should have known that John’s family would be as great as he is, but I breathe a little easier knowing my daughter has two parents, and two sets of grandparents to love her. Maybe we’ll get through this yet.
The Datson family piles into their SUV outside of my apartment. Indie waves her little hand as they drive off.
“I hope you didn’t give my mom your phone number,” John says, handing over Indie to me.
“I did. She gave me hers, too. Why?”
His lips tug up and he gives me that charming smile. “I predict daily phone calls. Regret meeting me yet?”
I lean up on my toes to kiss him. “Not even a little.”
Over the next week, John stays at my place most nights. Indie is loving it as much as I am. The team had an away game today, but they’re headed back. I have a meeting with my advisor in thirty minutes.
Lindsey’s playing with Indie in my room while I get ready. I check my phone to see if he’s texted recently. He said he’d let me know as soon as they arrived. I expected to hear from him by now, but I’m hoping he’s on the way over. It’s less than a two-hour flight from California so adding a little extra time for baggage and driving to my place, I figure he should be here in the next five minutes. Which means I can make it to my meeting on time. I might even be a few minutes early. Imagine that.
“Did she say why she wanted to meet with you?”
“No. And I’m trying really hard not to think about it. If the department cuts my TA position, I’m sunk.”
“I’m sure that isn’t it.” She picks up the book on my bed and flips through it. “Did you make this?”
“Yeah. It’s a little photo journal of Indie. I made it for John. All the big moments in her life before they met.”
“It’s the cutest. You’re so dang talented.” She scoots off the bed. “All right, girls. I need to get to the library. You’re sure Datson is going to be here before you need to leave?”
“Yeah.” I add another coat of mascara to my lashes. My phone beeps. “That’s probably him. They’re…” My words trail off when I finish reading the text.
“Well?”
“They’re delayed. The plane landed but they don’t have a gate so they’re waiting. It doesn’t look like he’s going to make it.” Even if he stepped off the plane right now, it’d take him too long to get to my apartment. I toss my phone on the bed without responding and go to my laptop. “I’ll email my advisor and see if I can reschedule.”
“No, I’ve got this. I’ll stay with her until you get back.”
“What about your plans?”
“My study group will be fine without me for an hour. Seriously, go. I’ve got you.”
“Thank you.” I don’t bother putting up a fight because I need the help.
Dr. Matthews is in her office sitting behind her desk when I get to the second floor of the English building.
“Come in.” She waves me inside.
I take a seat in front of her desk. My nerves are frayed.
“Thank you for coming by.”
“Of course. Is everything okay? I’m freaking out a little.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s good news. I should have mentioned that in my email.” She leans forward. “I’ve selected your fantasy novel from the pitch fest. I want to work with you on it.”
My body relaxes, but my heart skips several beats. “You do?”
“Yes. It’s a great concept and your characters are well thought out and interesting.”
“Wow. I don’t know what to say.”
“Say that you’re as eager as I am to get started. Formal announcements aren’t until next Friday at the Halloween party, but I’d love to get started right away.” She turns to stare at her computer monitor. “I’ve got your schedule pulled up. I co
uld do four o’clock after you’re done with classes.”
“On which day?” I have to pick up Indie by five, but maybe I could figure something out one day a week.
“As many as you can.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize we would meet so often.”
“Not forever, but for the first month or so, I think it would be good to have a time scheduled to touch base. This is a really hands-on process with the goal being that you have a finished manuscript next spring. I will give you everything I have, knowledge, resources… but you have to work hard too.”
With a gulp, I nod. “Of course. I appreciate the offer. Can I think about it?”
She cocks her head to the side. I doubt anyone ever has to think about it. It’s such a great opportunity, but how am I going to make it work? I can’t expect Lindsey to be available to help when John and I are busy. I could hire a sitter, but I already feel guilty about the number of hours Indie is in daycare.
“It’s just that I have a daughter. She’s almost two and juggling it all is… taking more of a toll than I expected.” It feels good to admit it out loud. I am struggling. School is taking more time than I expected. It’s harder, too. And Indie is more active every day. I thought the baby years were hard but keeping up with her now is exhausting. I want to do it all, but maybe it’s time to acknowledge it’s more than I can handle on my own.
Her smile is warm and understanding. “Sure. Take as much time as you need.”
My legs move slowly back to my car. Maybe if I went part-time. The thought of extending college for another three or four years, instead of two, makes my stomach cramp. Can I manage being a mom and a full-time student for that long?
I let myself into the apartment and force a smile for Indie as she runs toward me. “Hey, sweet girl.”
John stands from the couch. He’s still dressed in the team travel jacket. “Hey.”
“Linds leave?”
“Yeah. About ten minutes ago.”
I nod and set my purse on the dining room table.
He closes the distance between us and wraps me in his arms. “I missed my girls.”
“Da-da.”
We both freeze and look down at Indie.
“Did she just say dad?”
My heart squeezes. “Yes.”
He scoops her up and kisses her face. “That’s right, sweet cheeks. Daddy.”
She tries it again.
“Traitorous thing.” I smile. “She’s only said mama once and I’m starting to believe I made it up in my head.”
He carries her into the living room, and I follow. We sit on the couch and Indie grabs for his phone. I’m surprised when he hands it over so easily.
“She likes to look at my pictures,” he says by way of explanation.
“She also likes to put things in the bathtub.”
“I’ll keep an eye on her.” He sits back against the couch and pulls Indie onto his lap. “What did your advisor want to talk about?”
I pick at a piece of lint on my pants. “She selected my book from pitch fest. She wants to work together.”
“That’s amazing.” He bounces Indie on his legs. “Yay, mommy.”
She claps a couple of times and then goes back to swiping through pictures on his phone.
“Congratulations.” He kisses me quick.
“Thanks. It’s great, but I’m not sure it’s the best idea right now.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I’m already burning the candle at both ends, trying to get schoolwork done and take care of Indie.”
“I can help more.” His forehead wrinkles in concentration.
“I know that you mean well, but you don’t have the extra time to give either. I have to focus on what’s important right now. Taking care of Indie and finishing school. Everything else will have to wait. I think that needs to include us.”
He looks completely crestfallen. “You don’t want to be with me?”
“I do, of course I do, but I’m overwhelmed. I need to slow down a little.”
“A little or a lot?”
“I’m not sure.”
“What about Indie?”
“You can still see her, of course. She’s absolutely in love with you.” We both are if I’m being honest. I think I fell for him the first night and I don’t think I ever really stood back up. “We’ll work out a schedule that works for both of us.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Rylee. My life finally feels like it makes sense. Why I spent the last few years feeling off-balance and unsure of my future. I was waiting for you and Indie.”
“You won’t lose us. Ever.” I plaster a big smile on my face even though my heart breaks. What if he finds someone else or decides that waiting for me isn’t worth it?
We spend the next hour working out a schedule. It all feels so tragic. I want to spend every moment as a family of three, but the reality is that I need to make sure I have time for studying. And John needs time with Indie by himself. He’s a great dad that just needs more practice doing it on his own.
“I guess I should go,” he says. “It isn’t technically my night, but do you want me to take her so you can work on stuff?”
“No. Thank you. I’ll bring her by The White House tomorrow morning.” I can’t think of anything I want more than to cuddle my baby girl all night.
“Okay.” He shoves his hands in his pockets.
“Wait.” I leave him in the living room while I run to my bedroom and get the book I made. “This is for you. It’s sort of like a memory book. I started it when she was a baby. Every month I wrote a little about something funny or amazing she’d done, then added in the pictures.”
He takes it into his hands and stares down at the cover. It’s a picture of Indie as a baby. Her first smile. “Thank you.”
“Of course.”
He gives me an awkward kiss on the cheek, and I walk him toward the door. “See you later, Rylee.”
“See ya,” I whisper.
And then he leaves.
Chapter Ten
John
I’m lying in the middle of the court, my back against the hard wood, staring up at the ceiling. The ball rests on my stomach, one hand holding it in place. I love the feel of the worn leather against my palm. It’s comforting. Uncomplicated. Everything this situation isn’t.
“Thought I might find you in here.” Shaw’s voice echoes in the quiet gym.
I don’t look up but feel him take a seat next to me. “Are you okay?” he asks. “Been a week and you’ve said less than two sentences. You didn’t even scold Conner for sitting down as he handed out cups at the party last night.”
“Doesn’t matter. It’s all bullshit.”
“From the man who once told me that a good host was the hallmark of a baller party.”
“That isn’t what I was talking about.”
“I know. It’s just a pause. You two will find your way back to one another. Look at me and Sydney. We almost got together and then didn’t. We still made our way back. You and Rylee will too. You guys have a lot going on right now.”
“I could deal with not being with her if it meant it took a load off her, but it doesn’t. Not really. Talk about a pause. She put off college for two years to raise Indie. And she’s talking about going part-time after this semester. I wish I could give her back some of that time, help her out more. I was here goofing off, worrying about fucking cups.”
“You didn’t know.”
“But I do now.” I sit up. “There has to be something I can do.”
He takes the ball from my lap. “We’ll have to figure it out after practice. We need to leave in fifteen minutes. But after practice, let’s go to The Hideout. You buy the drinks and I’ll give you all my best ideas.”
“Maybe invite Sydney. We all know she’s the brains.” I get to my feet. “I’ve gotta change. I’ll meet you over there.”
“I resent that,” he calls after me. “But noted. She’ll be there. We’ve got your back, man
.”
I climb the stairs feeling just the tiniest bit hopeful. I’ve sulked all week. Aside from the two nights I got to spend with Indie, and the brief encounters with Rylee, the week sucked. All the usual joys, basketball, friends, parties, lost their luster.
Hard to believe in such a short amount of time how much my life has changed, but it has. From the second I laid eyes on Indie.
I sit on my bed with my phone. We have a light practice tonight and then we leave early tomorrow for an away game. My clothes are strewn on the bed where I dumped them after doing laundry earlier. I pick through to find shorts and a T-shirt. My fingers brush against something hard and I uncover the book Rylee gave me.
At least three times I’ve started to flip through it. I know she meant it as a nice gesture, but that first photo of Indie as a baby gets me every time. I hate that I wasn’t there.
I open it and steel myself for that pang of hurt. Little, sweet Indie. Eyes closed, face still swollen and red. She’s got a pink and blue hat on her tiny head with a big bow and she’s wrapped up in a white blanket.
Beneath the photo, it has the words Chapter One and then several paragraphs written about Indie as if she’s the main character of a great novel. I guess she is.
Chapter after chapter, photo after photo, Rylee cataloged two years of our daughter’s life. Big things like learning to walk and her first tooth, and little things like her preference for peas over green beans.
I don’t want to miss any more of those. And, not only that, I want Rylee’s take on it. I want to laugh with her over the tantrums and then celebrate the milestones together. I don’t just want a daughter. I want a family.
Rylee
“I am digging this whole sexy mermaid princess thing you have going on,” Lindsey says as I tug on the green skirt. It’s long and skintight. I added tulle at the bottom to cover my feet.
Tonight is the English department Halloween party. John has a game in Colorado, so Lindsey offered to watch Indie for a couple of hours.