by Nikki Ash
“That’s not possible.”
He gives me a sly smile and crashes his lips to mine. He devours me and second by second, I give into to kiss. Our tongues duel and our lips lock. It’s the most intense kiss we’ve ever shared. His hand reaches under my shirt and his fingers dance along every inch of skin he can reach. His thumb swipes over the flat disk of my nipple, sending shutters down my spine.
He climbs on top of me, his weight pressing me into the couch. I feel his rock-hard erection as he grinds it against my own. We’ve never moved past this level of intimacy. He’s always quick to stop, telling me I’m not ready. I pray he doesn’t this time. I need him.
He must know what I’m feeling, because he lifts my shirt up and over my head. He kisses his way down my neck and across the spans of my shoulders. Then he moves lower, flicking his tongue against my nipples. He continues his way down my abdomen, only stopping to tug my basketball shorts down. God, how I’ve wanted this. He’s teased me for weeks, getting me worked up and then leaving. I’ve had to finish myself off in the shower each time, but it wasn’t satisfying. Not like this is.
My hard cock springs free, slapping against my abdomen. I watch as he grips around the base and drags his tongue along the tip, lapping at the pre-cum.
“Fucking hell, doc. You taste so good.” He wraps his lips around me and sucks. My hips jerk up at the sensation.
Maisy tried to give me head once, but her touch was too light and her lips were too soft. It felt all wrong. But Bo’s tight fist, his firm mouth, and strong suction are fucking perfect.
“Bo,” I moan. “Your mouth feels amazing.”
His other hand goes lower to my balls and he rolls them in his palm. I’m not going to last. I never worried about such a thing with Maisy. I only wanted it over with. But Bo’s a man too, and I worry he’ll judge me on my stamina. That thought has my dick softening ever so slightly.
“Stop it. Whatever you’re thinking. Stop it. Be here with me. I want you to come in my mouth. I want to be the one to get this experience with you. Please give it to me.” His gaze bores into me and I’m instantly at ease. He takes me down his throat and it’s all it takes to get me back in the moment.
My fists clench at my side and my eyes squeeze shut. He bobs up and down, saliva and pre-cum spilling down my cock and onto my balls. A tingle spreads from the base of my spine and a pleasure like I’ve never felt overtakes my body. I don’t just come. I explode. Or at least that what’s it feels like. I bite my fist to stop myself from screaming his name and waking the baby.
Bo takes it all, swallowing over and over to drink all of me down. He waits until my body stills to release me. He kisses the tip of my dick sweetly, before releasing me and climbing back up my body, dragging my shorts and underwear up as he goes. His lips press onto mine and his tongue thrusts into my mouth, allowing me to taste myself. It’s nothing I thought I’d enjoy, but with Bo, I doubt there’s anything he could do I wouldn’t find pleasure in.
I want to discover how he tastes too. I want to make him feel as good as he just made me feel. I slide out from underneath him and slink to my knees on the area rug. I drop one of his feet to the ground and crawl between his legs. He shifts so he’s sitting up and studies me carefully.
“I don’t expect this from you,” he murmurs, running a hand through my hair.
“I want to. So badly.”
He lifts his hips up so I can tug down his shorts. His dick is massive, the same color as his skin except for a slightly pink and swollen mushroom head. Clear pre-cum glistens between the slit, and my tongue darts out to lick without thought. It’s heady, salty, and delicious.
“Fuuuuuuck,” he draws out under his breath. It fills me with the much needed confidence to continue. I take him into my mouth as far as I can go, which isn’t far. A brief thought about how this will fit inside me during sex flutters through my mind, but I push it away. That’s putting the cart before the horse.
I bob up and down at my leisure, getting used to the motion and depth most comfortable for me. Bo’s patient, letting me explore and cluing me in on what feels best through his grunts and groans. I release him with pop and lick down the underside of his impressive length. I want to taste all of him, so I move down to his weighty sack. I suck one into my mouth before releasing it and moving to the next, all while jacking him off. Bo lets out a sigh of pleasure, so I do it again.
“I’m going to come. You decide where it goes.” His voice is thick and breathy.
“I want to feel you come in my mouth,” I admit and go back to sucking on his cock. His hand rests on the back of my head but he doesn’t put any weight on it.
It only takes a minute longer before his breath catches and his cock jerks. Thick, hot, semen spills into my mouth. My throat wants to reject it, but my mind doesn’t. I swallow each spurt as he ejaculates, making soft sounds of pleasure.
“Get up here.” He pulls his shorts and underwear back over himself and then tugs me up his body, turning so we’re once again lying side by side. He kisses my forehead, my cheeks, and my nose before giving me another heart stopping kiss on my lips.
“Was I okay?” I ask, and I hate myself for it. I want to have the same confidence with sex that I have with my patients. At work, I’m knowledgeable and self-assured. But here, like this, I’m a novice at best. I know the mechanics, I’ve seen it done in porn, but it’s not enough to prepare me for the reality.
“Better than. That was the best blow job I’ve ever had,” he swears. I narrow my eyes at him and he chuckles, the sound rumbling through his body. “Hand to God, it was.”
“I’m going to choose to believe you because the alternative is mortifying.”
That makes him laugh even harder. “You’re too much, doc.”
We lie there for long, quiet minutes before I ask the question I’ve been too nervous to ask. “Do you plan on sticking that thing up my ass?”
He roars his laughter this time and I slap a hand over his mouth. We both freeze, expecting a cry to come from the bedroom, and then let out a collective sigh when it remains silent.
“If that’s what you want,” he says.
“What do you mean? Isn’t that how this works?”
“Everyone has their own preferences and it works differently for each couple.”
“What if that’s what I want?”
“Then that’s what we’ll do. I’ve bottomed a couple times, mostly to see what it feels like, but I’m a top.” He takes my hand in his and rests it over his heart. The steady thump thump thump calms me.
“When I think about sex, I picture myself being on the receiving end.”
“Looks like we’re a perfect match then.”
“Looks like,” I agree. And isn’t it the damn truth. He came into my life at the peak of chaos. Anyone else would’ve turned tail and ran. But not Bo. He embraced the mayhem.
“Are you hungry? I brought stuff to make carbonara.”
My stomach rumbles and he takes that as his answer. We untangle ourselves from each other and he gets up. I watch as he walks into the kitchen. I bite my lower lip, wondering what I did to get so lucky.
Chapter Six
Boaz
“Are you going to tell me where you’ve been going every night?” Dad grumbles from his chair while I unload groceries.
“I told you, with a friend.” I roll my eyes.
He’s been pressing me for information the last couple weeks, but I’m not ready to tell him about Lance. If I could keep him a secret for however long we’re together, I would. But lately, however long feels more like forever and hiding someone I want to spend my life with seems implausible.
“There ain’t no friend good enough for me to want to hang out every night of the week.”
“Then you don’t have the right kind of friend,” I say under my breath.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing, Pops.” I put away the milk, turn to grab the cheese, and am startled to see Dad standing in my way.
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br /> “I know you’ve met someone,” he says.
“We don’t need to go there.”
“I think we do because if you’re spending this much time with… someone,” he says carefully. “Then they must be important. I’ll remind you that I’m tolerant of a lot of things, but you need to keep that shit private.”
“Jesus, do you even hear yourself? You’re tolerant, but only if it’s not in front of your face.”
“Your mother and I raised you to be God fearing. When you told me you’re… the way you are, I didn’t say nothing. Your brother needed you and I didn’t want to take that away from him.”
“More like you needed me to take care of him and were willing to accept me if it benefitted you. Am I right?” This conversation grates on my nerves and has my blood boiling.
I knew he wasn’t thrilled when I came out to him, but he didn’t shun me. I took it as a good sign. But after hearing what he’s saying now, I realize he needed the free childcare. Plain and simple.
“I don’t care what you do when you’re away from this house. But I don’t want you to get twisted and think I’m okay with it. Your brother is young and impressionable—”
“Afraid he’s going to catch homosexuality, Pops? Is that it?” I rub my hands up and down his arms. “Oh no. You’re gay now.”
It’s petty and immature, but I don’t care. He can say a lot of things about me, but calling me a bad influence because of who I choose to love has pushed me off the edge of sanity.
“I’m not an idiot. I know it’s not contagious, but Eli looks up to you. When he finds out, he might think it’s the cool thing to do. Is this the life you want for him?”
My jaw drops in disbelief. When we silently agreed my private life would remain private, I had no idea how different our views were. I thought he needed time to adjust and come to terms. I didn’t know this entire time, he’d been waiting to drop this bomb when I finally met someone I cared about.
“That’s not how sexuality works. You either are or aren’t. And even if he is, you should be so lucky that he’ll have someone in his life to support him, because clearly he won’t be able to rely on you.”
“You’re selfish and juvenile.”
“No. I’m happy, Pops. More than I’ve been in a long ass time. Don’t you want that for me?” I plead.
“I hope whoever he is, that he’s worth giving up your family.”
“His name is Lance. He’s a doctor at the hospital. He’s smart and successful. He also has a beautiful daughter that might someday be your granddaughter if you’d pull your head out of your ass.”
“You two are getting an innocent child mixed up in your debauchery?”
I snap. It’s one thing to insult me and my life, but it’s another to insinuate Lance is doing something wrong by being a gay parent.
“I swear to God, if you don’t get out of my face, I’ll drop you to the floor, old man. You’ve pushed this too far because that man is the very best father I’ve ever seen. And that’s including your sorry ass.” I shove past him and down the hall to change so I can meet Lance at his place.
“I want you out. Take your shit and go,” he shouts after me.
I flip around and face him. “Oh right, and suddenly you’re going to step up and be a dad to Eli? You gonna help him with his homework? Make him dinner every night? Go grocery shopping? Pay the bills? Because last I checked, it was me doing all those things.”
“I don’t need you. I let you do all that because you wanted to.”
“You think at seventeen-years-old I wanted to get up in the middle of the night to feed my newborn brother? You think I wanted to put myself through nursing school and make sure my kid brother makes it to basketball practice? All while you came home and sat your ass in that recliner? I did it because the day Mom died, you gave up on life.” I ball my fists at my sides.
I didn’t realize how much anger and resentment had built up over the years. I convinced myself he was working too hard to do everything. When I had it all wrong. He wasn’t man enough to take on his own responsibilities. He let a kid do it instead.
“Don’t you ever talk to me like that about your mom. She’d be embarrassed of the man you’ve become,” he spits out.
With every ounce of self-control I have, I leave him in the hall and go inside my room, slamming the door behind me. He wants me gone? He thinks he can do everything I’ve been taking care of for over half my life? Well, fuck him. He can try.
I find a couple duffle bags at the bottom of my closet and toss some clothes inside. I storm to the bathroom and gather my toiletries, throwing them inside a bag too. I don’t have time or space to pack everything, so I only take what’s necessary for a few days. I don’t know where I’ll stay, but I know it won’t be here. I’m sure Lance will let me crash at his place for a few days until I can figure my life out.
I should’ve done this a long time ago, but I wanted to get Eli to college or on the path to whatever he wants to do with his life. He graduates in six months. That’s close enough.
I’m glad when I leave my room and Dad isn’t in the hallway. As angry as I am, I worry my temper would get the best of me and I don’t want to do something I’ll regret.
I load up my car and speed away from my childhood home and everything I’ve ever known. I’ll call Eli from Lance’s house to let him know what’s going on. He’s going to be upset, but I hope by promising him nothing will change between us, it’ll soften the blow.
Five minutes later, I’m parking and heading up the elevator. I don’t bother knocking when I get to his door. Lance made it clear I can skip that step when he gave me a key to the condo just in case I ever needed it. We might be moving fast, but it feels right. I haven’t had one moment of hesitation when it comes to him and Lane. We just fit. And fuck whoever has a problem with it.
“Doc?” I call out when I don’t immediately see him.
“Bathroom,” he calls from inside his room. It has an ensuite with a bathtub, unlike the hall bathroom that only has a shower.
I drop my bags and seek him out. I stand in the doorway and take in the most adorable sight. Lane’s in the bathtub, resting on some kind of soft sponge in the shape of a giant teddy bear. She’s wide awake and her gaze is fixed on the floating bubbles Lance is blowing over her. Her hands and legs pump up and down in time, and is that a—
“Is she smiling?” I ask inching further into the room and kneeling next to Lance.
“Yeah. Can you believe it? The nanny said she smiled at her today and I didn’t believe her. I told her it was probably a gas bubble. Then I put her in the tub and she smiled up at me like she’s been doing it her whole life.”
I wrap an arm around his waist and lean my head on his shoulder. We watch as she kicks and smiles toothlessly. It’s almost enough to make me forget what happened back at the house. Almost.
“How are you? You feel tense.” Lance blows another round of bubbles.
“Need a roommate? At least for a week or two?”
He screws the lid on the soapy mixture and his face scrunches in concern. “What happened?”
“My dad kicked me out. We didn’t talk about me being gay after I came out to him, but he never said he was against it per se. I guess it was wishful thinking that he was cool with it. He figured the reason I was spending time away from home was because I met someone and he spelled things out for me. He’s okay with me being gay as long as he doesn’t ever have to meet my partner or see us together.”
“Were you thinking of introducing us?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. Of course I want to share the people in my life who are important, but I wasn’t planning on taking that step yet. I wanted to talk it over with you. But he assumed things were getting serious since I wasn’t coming home except to sleep,” I explain.
“Babe, you wanted me to meet your family. I love that,” he coos.
“Are you even listening to the words coming out of my mouth?”
“I am, but I
’m choosing to ignore the blatant homophobia and skip to the part where Lane and I mean so much to you that you want us to meet your dad.”
“You’re so fucking weird.” I give him a quick kiss so he doesn’t take his eyes off Lane for too long.
I’m instantly cheered up. I don’t know how he managed to get me from a level ten nuclear meltdown back to happy, but it’s part of the reason I care so deeply for him.
“I know and I’m sorry things went so badly. I don’t mean to make light of it.”
“It’s okay. But is it cool if I stay until I can find my own place?”
“Of course. However long you need.” He squeezes my hand reassuringly. “All right, little Lane. Time for a bottle and bed.”
I hold a towel wide and he hands me the wet baby who cries when the cold air hits her skin. I bundle her up tight and walk out to the changing table while Lance cleans up the tub. I secure a diaper on her and rub lotion into her baby soft skin. She watches me with curious blue eyes, like she’s only now realizing there’s a person attached to the voice she’s been hearing. And maybe she is because until recently, she was more asleep than awake. I put her pajamas on and play a game of patty cake with her feet.
Then it happens. Her lips spread wide and she beams up at me, letting out a coo. My eyes well with emotion I can’t put a name on. Pride or something. It’s in this moment I realize I’ve fallen in love with this tiny human. It didn’t take long, but how could it since she was only a week old when we met? Parents fall in love with their babies when they first lay eyes on them, I’m not saying I’m anything close to her dad, but I’m something.
“She’s so happy and alert tonight.” Lance appears at my side and wraps an arm around my middle.
“She is.”
“I should probably feed her before that changes.”
“Let me,” I say.
He looks up at me, and whatever he reads from my expression must please him because he grips the back of my neck and pulls me in for kiss. It’s sweet and comfortable. And so fucking perfect.