by Lane Hart
Since it’s been several days since the last time I inquired, I try to sound casual when I ask, “So, um, has Roman heard anything from Verek lately?”
“Nope, still not a word as far as I know.”
“Well, have you asked him?”
“Of course I have!” she replies. “He hasn’t called or texted you either?”
“No.”
“What about Paul?” she questions which is also the typical way that this conversation usually goes.
“Yes, he’s still calling and texting.”
“Every day?” she asks with a smile.
“Unfortunately, yes,” I mutter.
“That’s a good thing, though!” Charlotte exclaims. “Why are you thinking about the man you haven’t heard from when the sweet, wonderful, devoted man you love doesn’t let a day go by without seeing how you’re doing?”
“Because…it’s not the same,” I tell her for the millionth time.
“Paul would never let anything happen to you,” she says softly.
“That’s not why I can’t be with him, and you know it.”
“Right, you’ve convinced yourself that you can never rekindle the flames of desire with Paul,” Charlotte grumbles.
“I don’t think I can.” Not when there wasn’t any passion there in the first place.
“Maybe it’s just going to take more time before you’re able to…rekindle with anyone! Have you considered that notion?” she asks.
I never told Charlotte what happened between me and Verek while we were gone those few days. If I tell her the truth, hopefully she’ll back off and stop pushing Paul at me every other day.
“There was definitely some…rekindling with Verek,” I finally admit to her, using her word since I’m not sure there’s one better.
“What? When?”
“While we were traveling together,” I respond.
“You and Verek?” she asks, eyebrows raised in surprise.
“We didn’t have sex, but we did some other things…”
“Like what?” she whispers, turning to face me on the sofa.
“I may have got into the shower with him and gave him a hand…”
“You did?” Charlotte replies with a smile. “Oh my god! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it was just once. We kissed, a few times, but nothing else happened. But it could have, if he hadn’t left!”
“Why didn’t you tell Roman? He might have gone easier on Verek,” she says.
“I don’t want to talk about this sort of thing with Roman!”
“Well, he probably wouldn’t have changed his mind about how angry he was anyway,” Charlotte admits. “He’s awfully stubborn, which can come in handy sometimes but not others.” She pauses for a second before asking, “Did you want to do other things with Verek?”
“I did. I still do,” I admit. “Even if he is a jackass for not calling.”
“In that case, let me talk to Roman while we’re away, not to go into details, but to at least put in a good word to see if he’ll try and convince him to come back.”
“Fine,” I agree. “But no details.”
“Absolutely not,” Charlotte replies. “It’s just, I honestly didn’t think you could see a future with Verek. He’s more of the…temporary kind of guy who looks like he’s a lot of fun but wouldn’t stick around.”
“He didn’t leave because he wanted to!” I remind her. “The other guys thought it would be best until Roman calmed down.”
“You’re right. I didn’t give Verek the benefit of the doubt. When we get back from Aruba, I bet Roman will be ready to see him again.”
“You know if you fuck him enough times, that man would do anything for you,” I tease, and Charlotte laughs out loud.
“Wow, I think that’s the first time you’ve used the f-word in a long time!” she jokes.
And I know exactly what she means by “a long time.”
Since the night I was kidnapped, I don’t think I’ve used that term because fuck was the definition of the vulgar, violent, humiliating things that were done to me.
But those men are dead, and I’m still alive with a full life ahead of me, if I can find the courage to live it.
Chapter Eighteen
Verek
* * *
There’s a long line of bikes parked out front of the clubhouse, with a few mixed in that I don’t recognize. Everyone has showed out to support our president on his big day.
Roman’s a great guy. Even I still think so, despite the circumstances.
Here’s hoping Cannon is right and he’s in a forgiving mood tonight.
Once I back my bike into an empty parking spot near the back of the lot, I kill the engine and pull out my phone, sending a short message to Cannon.
I’m here. Want to see if you can get Roman to come out here instead of raising hell inside?
His response is thankfully instantaneous.
Give me a few minutes. He’s having a moment alone with his wife that only an idiot would interrupt.
Half an hour or so later, I’m still waiting, pacing back and forth in the lot in front of the bikes, knowing Tessa is probably just inside the building that I’m not allowed to enter.
Yet.
That small slice of hope is what keeps me there. Even if Cannon can’t get Roman out here, maybe I could get a glimpse of Tessa leaving.
Unless she’s already left.
In which case, I may pull my hair out.
Finally, after it gets so dark the streetlights come on, Cannon, Conrad, Roman, and Winston all come walking out of the building. When Cannon sees me, he points out the way to the others. I try to figure out in the dimly lit night if Roman looks happy or not.
Surprisingly, he’s grinning like the Cheshire cat, all white teeth as he approaches. Thank you, Charlotte.
“What the hell are you doing skulking around in the dark?” Roman calls out as he comes closer. “Get your ass inside!”
Is he talking to me? No, he can’t be. He was so angry he wanted to strangle me the last time I saw him…
“Well? What the fuck are you waiting for?” Roman asks when we’re all standing less than five feet apart. When he moves closer, I’m expecting another punch to my face, but instead, Roman wraps me up in a hug and slaps my back. “It’s been too long,” he says, close enough that I can smell the alcohol on his breath. Great, he’s just gotten laid and he’s drunk. There’s no way he’ll remember this conversation tomorrow.
The other guys follow his lead, giving me masculine embraces, all of them so liquored up they’ll probably have to crash at the clubhouse or get a ride home tonight.
“So, am I back for good?” I finally ask him.
“We’ll have to vote on it,” Roman remarks, then slaps Winston on the shoulder. “My VP can handle that next week. What do you say?”
“Yeah, sure,” Winston agrees with an actual grin on his face. The expression is so strange I do a double take. Then I remember that he’s with Zoe, his stepsister now. “First thing Monday,” he adds as if he knows I want to call a meeting right this fucking second.
“Okay, let me know how it goes,” I tell them.
“Well? Are you coming in and raising a glass to the happy couple or what?” Cannon thankfully asks.
“We haven’t drained the tap yet,” Conrad remarks with a chuckle.
Since everyone seems to be in a damn good mood, I eagerly accept their invitation and follow them inside, deciding not to bring up Tessa with Roman just yet. He can’t keep me away from her anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to tell him that before I’m voted back in.
Tessa
* * *
Liquid courage is exactly what I need tonight before I go home alone to my new apartment in a new neighborhood with two boys keeping guard.
Lucas and Jake are jerks to each other when they don’t think anyone is looking, but they’re tough, dependable, and kind to me. I don’t trust them enough to let them in my apartment
, but I do feel safer knowing they’ll be right outside.
More than courage, I need about a dozen more drinks to forget that I was supposed to be the one marrying the man of my dreams six months ago before I became damaged goods. Even the bright red sex glow on Charlotte’s face when she and Roman came out of his office earlier reminds me of other things I can no longer have – things like good sex.
I may as well start adopting cats to keep Lola company since I’m on my way to becoming a lonely old maid.
Handing my empty glass up to Lucas, who is standing guard close by my chair, I tell him, “Another gin and tonic please.”
“Are you sure?” he asks. “You’ve already had five, Miss Singleton.”
“She’s a grown woman,” Jake chimes in from the other side of my chair, both constantly flanking me wherever I go like I’m the queen of freaking England. “She can have as many as she wants.”
“And how the hell are we supposed to get her home if she’s falling down drunk, but we can’t touch her?” Lucas argues, which is a harsh reminder of the past, yet also a valid point.
“Fine, I’ll get it myself,” I huff as I pull myself up to my feet. Jerking the glass from Lucas’s hand, I stagger over to the bar.
“Now look what you’ve done,” I hear Jake say to Lucas as I walk away.
“Leo, my good friend, could you pretty please make me another gin and tonic?” I ask the MC’s youngest member and bartender when I rest my forearms on the empty corner of the bar. As part of my “rehabilitation,” Roman and Charlotte bring me here with them a few times a week to socialize in a safe place.
“Yes, ma’am,” Leo says as he grabs the bottle. “You got a ride home tonight?”
“I’m sure Frick or Frack will get me there safe and sound,” I tell him, making him grin at their nicknames.
“Speak of the devils,” Leo mutters as I hop up on the barstool and am immediately flanked again on either side by the two prospects. Neither are close enough to accidentally brush against me, but they’re within slapping distance. If they continue to treat me as a child instead of being guards, I may just do that.
“After this drink, how about we head on home, Miss Singleton?” Lucas asks, his back to the bar, looking for threats among the few women and Savage Kings playing pool and drinking. Ugh, and even my surname is a sad reminder that I’m all alone!
“Maybe,” I say doubtfully, since I’m not ready to go back there just yet.
“I bet Lola will need to go out soon,” Jake remarks, which works much better than Lucas’s attempt to get me to leave. I do care about my sweet dog and don’t want her to suffer. Roman’s rules say the two are to stay near me at all times, so I can’t send one to walk her. They even have to take turns sleeping during the night in a tent outside the apartment that he cleared with the landlord. Seriously. I tried to tell Roman that was unnecessary, but he simply waved me off, telling me it’s part of the club’s test for deciding whether or not they get to patch in as a King in about nine or so more months.
“Fine. Last drink,” I agree as Leo slides the glass in front of me. I pick it up and take a sip, right as the door opens and in walks half of the Savage Kings crew like they’re coming from an impromptu meeting in the parking lot.
Cheers go up, and then others are gathering around them. I assume it’s some sort of celebration for Roman’s nuptials until I hear someone say, “Verek, man, where the hell have you been?”
“On a little vacation. You miss me?” is the teasing response from the deep voice I haven’t heard in over six months.
I gasp so hard that I get choked on my own oxygen.
“Are you okay? Is she okay?” Jake asks frantically.
“What do we do?” Lucas asks.
I hold up one finger, letting them know I’m not choking to death but just need a minute. When Winston starts to make a speech for the couple, I hurry to the bathroom to try and recover from choking and from Verek’s unexpected presence.
All the stalls are empty, so I take a seat on the closed toilet lid, glad to be free of my shadows for a few minutes.
I’ve been waiting for this day, for Verek to come back, for so long that I think I had started to give up on it actually happening.
The bathroom door opens, and for a second I think my guards have followed me into the ladies’ room.
“Tessa? Are you in here?” Charlotte’s voice calls out from the other side of the door.
I’m a little dizzy either from the drinks or Verek, so I stick my foot out and kick the unlocked door open. “In here.”
“Oh. What are you doing?”
“I needed a minute.”
“Are you okay? Verek’s here!”
“No kidding,” I reply. “You didn’t know he was coming?”
“No, of course not,” Charlotte answers. “Roman didn’t either.”
“Is Roman mad? How is he taking Verek’s return?”
“I don’t think he minds,” she says with a grin. “He’s in a good mood.”
“Yeah, I bet he is. You two were in his office for over an hour!”
“I guess it’s probably good that you insisted on moving out. He’s insatiable and can’t get enough of his wife. His words, not mine.”
“I’m happy for you,” I tell her honestly. “Just a little jealous.”
“I know and I’m sorry,” Charlotte says with a sigh, leaning her shoulder against the side of the stall. “Don’t give up on this happening for you just yet. Who knows what could happen tomorrow?” she says as if she’s somehow suddenly psychic.
“I’m too pissed at Verek to speak to him,” I say, even though my anger at him and enthusiasm for his return is waging a war inside of my head and heart. There’s another body part that still hasn’t forgotten about touching every inch of his sexiness and how much I want to do it again. That part is a traitor and should give up once and for all.
“I wasn’t talking about Verek,” Charlotte says just as I hear the bathroom door open again and Zoe says, “Charlotte, your husband sent me in here to find you! He’s ready to go. You’ve got a flight to catch.”
“Ugh,” she groans. “He’s so bossy, sending a pregnant lady on a search mission,” she says with a grin before turning somber. “Are you sure you’ll be okay here without me?”
“I’m a grown woman,” I remind her, just as Jake said earlier. “I’ll be fine. I have Lola and Frick and Frack to keep me company.”
“But they’re not me,” she says with a pout. “I’ll worry about you.”
“Don’t,” I tell her. “I’ll miss you, but it’s high time you and Roman get some alone time, don’t you think? It’s just for a few days. Enjoy your honeymoon and stop worrying about me.”
“I’ll be around if you need anything, Tessa,” Zoe says when her bump appears beside Charlotte before the rest of her squeezes into the doorway.
“Thanks, Zoe,” I tell her with a smile. “See, I’ll be fine,” I say to Charlotte.
“Okay, well, I’ll be checking in once a day,” she assures me.
“That’s not necessary,” I reply as Verek’s face comes to mind. Dammit. I hate to admit that I am a little less anxious about Charlotte and Roman leaving knowing he’s in town. Although, I’m still pissed at him for not calling, and I have no idea how long he’ll be here. Is he back for good or just stopping by for a few days because Roman got married? Where the hell has he been? I have so many questions that only he can answer even though I don’t want to talk to him face-to-face. I’m not sure if I can keep my hands or mouth off his sexy body.
“All right, if you’re sure,” Charlotte says. “Guess I’ll see you in a few days.”
“I’ll still be here and in one piece, I promise. Lucas and Jake would take a bullet to get their patch.”
“I know they would,” Charlotte laughs in agreement. She gives Zoe a hug and then me a last wave before she leaves the bathroom.
Cheers go up so loudly in the other room that I assume it’s her and Roman leaving.
“Ready to get back out there, or would you rather hide in here all night?” Zoe asks. “Don’t you want to see Verek? You seemed pretty fond of him that night at the safe house.”
“I was fond of him before he up and left without a word for all these months,” I grumble.
“From what Winston’s told me, he didn’t really have a choice in leaving. Maybe Roman told him not to call you too.”
“Even if he did, that’s a rule he could’ve broken and Roman wouldn’t have found out,” I remark.
“You lived with Roman until recently. He could have easily seen his name on your phone or heard you talking to him,” Zoe points out. “Verek gave up his patch for you. That’s already a lot to sacrifice…”
“Gave up his patch? No he didn’t. Roman threatened to, but Verek said he was just giving him space. Even Verek just said he was on vacation.”
“Oh,” Zoe says, pursing her lips.
“You heard something different?”
“Winston said Verek had to turn in his cut, and Roman voted to try and remove him from the table but didn’t get a majority vote. So they suspended him temporarily instead.”
“Roman actually took his cut from him and suspended him from the club?”
“Yep. He’s definitely not wearing any leather tonight, and the MC has a rule about always having it on in the clubhouse.”
“But…how…that…why didn’t either of them tell me?” I say as I get to my feet. I have to throw my hand out to hold on to the wall when the room starts to spin. Lucas was right. I shouldn’t have had that last gin and tonic. Now I can’t think straight when it comes to Verek!
“Talk to Verek, honey,” Zoe says. “You know you want to, or you wouldn’t be in here hiding out, right?”
“Right,” I agree as I go wash my hands in the sink and splash some cold water on my face. “I’m ready,” I say.
“After you,” Zoe replies when she holds open the door.
Chapter Nineteen
Verek