I’m still drowning.
My body strains with the need to breathe, and still the wolf continues to propel us through the murky water.
Asshole, I think.
The wolf snarls in my mind and continues to swim like he’s done this a million times.
Finally, when I can’t hold on a second longer, we break the surface, and I gasp for air, choking on the dregs of brackish water that tastes slimy on my tongue. The wolf’s massive paws tread underneath us until they bump the sandy bottom, and then he walks us up and out of the water onto shore.
The cliff’s edge rises high behind us, but all I can think is that I’m alive. I’ve survived the nightmare. That has to count for something.
Not only that, the world is quiet around us, empty of wings or caws or anything else that threatens to shatter my newfound sense of survival.
The wolf manages a few more steps before he lowers himself to the sand. His entire body heaves with labored breaths, and I fumble for the leather strap, attempting to free myself from his back so he can breathe easier.
But my fingers are cold and numb and not nearly nimble enough, and the leather strap wins out. Giving up, I huff then collapse onto his back, my heart still thundering and my own breaths still ragged. I press against him in a kind of hug, grateful he’s saved us.
Shock or maybe awareness settles in, and I begin to shake.
This has officially been the worst week of my entire life. Aerina and now Finn. I’m alone. And, I realize as I stare at our surroundings, in an unfamiliar place.
During our trek, I had recognized we were still somewhere inside the Olympic forest. But the trees are different now. None of them are indigenous to Washington or maybe even the west coast. I crane my neck to look up at the cliff and realize it’s made up of dark clay that I’ve only ever seen in photos of exotic places.
Where the hell has the wolf taken me?
I bolt upright, grasping fistfuls of fur.
“Did you kidnap me?”
The wolf doesn’t reply, and I open my mouth to demand answers. Before I can manage a single word, the air between us warms, heating my drenched skin. The wolf shakes, but it isn’t a shiver. More like a seizure.
My eyes go wide, and I try to scramble off of him. The strap stops me so I only manage a sort of shimmy that ends with me hugging his belly instead of his back.
“What—”
The very air around me crackles with an electric sort of energy and then pop!
The wolf is gone.
No more fur. No more paws and snout.
In its place is a very human, very male, very muscular and hard body. Broad shoulders. Large biceps. Chiseled chest. Washboard abs. And I’m sprawled all over it.
I blink down into dark eyes that are so brown they’re nearly black. They stare up at me with an intensity I feel all the way to my suddenly very liquid bones. His jawline is sharp and angled into a neck corded with muscle. His dark hair is still damp and tousled, and one side of his face is coated in sand. He’s warm and utterly dangerous and there’s an edge in his intrigued expression that suggests it would be a bad idea to make a wrong move just now.
Except I don’t know any right ones.
“How did you do that?” I ask, one of the bazillion questions spinning through my mind.
His gaze drops to my lips, and my mouth goes dry.
My heartbeat drowns out the sound of my own voice, and heat creeps up my throat and into my cheeks. His body is perfectly molded to mine, and the proof of how much he likes it presses into my thigh. It takes everything in me not to lower my mouth to his. Or to reach out and feel for his massive “interest” with my hands. But I don’t.
Mostly because that’s not me and also because this dude was just a wolf, and I’m pretty sure having sex with animals is illegal.
“Fuck me,” I mutter when I remember how he’d been in my head up until a moment ago. Now that deep baritone makes sense.
His eyebrows go up, and his mouth twitches. “Now?”
“What?” I blink then freeze as I realize what I’ve said. “No. Shit.”
I press my palms into his chest and try to climb off of him, but the leather strap holds me in place. Or more precisely, holds our groins in place. The effect is even more pressure between his “interest” and mine.
“Shit,” I say again.
Wolf-man grins. “Here.” He reaches down and, without taking his eyes off mine, releases the leather strap holding us together.
I immediately roll off of him with an “oomph” as my already-sore body hits the sand with a painful thud.
“Better?” he asks.
I roll over and raise my head to look up at him, unsure whether to thank him or scream or just turn around and wade right back into the river we’ve just come out of.
“Who are you?” I ask finally, too exhausted to do any of those things.
Wolf-man sits up, studying me intently for a long moment. So long that I wonder if he intends on answering me or if he prefers communicating telepathically over verbally.
Finally, he exhales, and something in his dark gaze settles as if he’s made a hard decision and intends to live with it.
“My name is Kol,” he says quietly. “I’m your chosen protector.”
“Protector from what? Like a bodyguard? Why do I need that, and how did you just change?”
“All gods have protectors,” he says. “And your case is especially urgent, considering there’s actually someone trying to kill you. Lots of someones. Namely, The Silenci.”
“Whoa.” I hold up a hand to try and halt the crazy train that’s currently speeding out of his mouth. “Did you just say gods?”
He frowns like he can’t quite believe I’m confused over the whole thing. Like I’m the one having a hard time grasping reality.
“You’re a goddess, Elidi. The Goddess of Light to be specific. Or you will be. Right now, the proper term is goddess ascending.”
“Goddess.” I swallow hard, my eyes blurring as the world tilts and spins.
“Ascending,” he adds, frowning now. Or at least, I think he’s frowning. It’s hard to tell through the blurred haze.
“Didn’t your boyfriend explain?” he asks with a scowl.
I stare blankly back at Wolf-man as I try to make sense of what he’s just said. However, all the staring does is make me forget what we were talking about in the first place. His eyes are like secrets or mysteries waiting to be unraveled, and I desperately want to be the one to unravel them.
“Say something,” Kol says.
I blink. “Am I dead?” I blurt.
“No.” He shakes his head, and I’m mesmerized by the tiny droplets of water that fling from the ends of his messy hair. “Thanks to me, you’re very much alive. Although, our tandem diving skills need some serious work.”
I try not to think about the almost-drowning that was literally a dream come true for me. Or nightmare. Whatever.
“You just kidnapped me and are complaining about my diving skills?”
“Carried you,” he corrects. “For your safety. Alive, remember?”
“And Aerina?” My chin wobbles.
Kol’s expression darkens. “I’m sorry I didn’t get there in time,” he says quietly.
“In time for what? What are those things? The screaming was. . .” I didn’t even know how to describe it.
“The Silenci,” he says grimly.
“The Silenci,” I repeat.
He shakes his head and says, “It doesn’t make any sense. The Silenci don’t attack gods. Not to mention, they’re relegated to the veil. How did they get across?”
I stare back at him, waiting for something he’s just said to make any sort of logical sense. When it doesn’t, I wave a hand to catch his attention.
“Uh, hello. Sane person here. Can we try to contain the explanations to things that are real?”
“What?” He sighs. “The Silenci are real, and they shouldn’t have been able to do any harm to your au
nt. They were created to protect gods, not hunt them. And they’re relegated to the other side of the veil, specifically to guard the Gate of the Dead. I’ve never seen them hunt gods.”
“Your aunt isn’t dead,” he says, confirming what I’ve believed since the moment she disappeared. The relief is so sweet that, for a moment, I don’t trust it.
“How do you know? Are you sure?”
“If they were going to kill her, they’d have ripped her apart,” he says quietly. “Besides, I saw her leave through a portal, which means they took her. What I don’t understand is why.”
“Okay, this is ridiculous.” I scramble to my feet, which isn’t easy thanks to the sand and my stringy wet hair making me top-heavy and waterlogged. I wobble. Only a little, but it’s enough to make Wolf-man jump up and extend his arms almost like he’s spotting my floor routine or something.
I glare at him, which is mostly me taking out my frustration at my inability to storm off properly. “You’re insane.”
“You really don’t believe any of this is real?” His tone is more challenging than anything else, and it pisses me off for several reasons.
“You’re talking about horse-demons and veils and gods.”
“I’m not lying, Elidi.”
“What about you? Where did you come from? Why are you here?”
He goes still, and a shudder goes through me at the way his gaze sharpens on mine then heats. It’s not threatening or dangerous—not physically. But it’s scarier than The Silenci because I know whatever he’s about to say is going to change things.
“I know you because I’ve dreamt of you,” he says quietly.
“What kind of dreams?” I ask, my voice lilting at the direction of my thoughts.
His lips twitch knowingly, and there’s a different sort of gleam in his eyes. He steps closer, reaching out to tuck a strand of my tangled hair behind my ear.
“Not that kind,” he says with a chuckle. “Sorry to disappoint.”
“You’re hardly disappointing me,” I shoot back, and he smirks.
“Good to know.”
My eyes widen. “That’s not what I—ugh. Stop distracting me. Answer the questions.”
His smile dims, but the sparkle in his dark eyes remains. I get caught in the contrast of his gaze. Dark shadows swirl like secret pools, but when he looks at me with that half-smile, there’s a lightness there. A single spark. Like a firework or a bolt of lightning—
“Hey, spitfire. You still with me?”
I blink, doing my best to shove aside all the tingly thoughts and paste on a scowl. For good measure, I cross my arms. “I don’t have to tell you anything. You’re the one who kidnapped me.”
He groans. “We’ve been over this. I saved you. Look around.” He gestures to the woods around us with a sweep of his muscled arm. “There are no Silenci here. We’re inside the wall, and you’re safe.” He steps closer. “You’re welcome.”
I look away, desperate to not succumb to the crazy attraction I feel for him.
“I don’t see any walls. We’re outside, genius.”
He rubs his wet hair with his hand. “I guess gorgeous and agreeable was too much to ask.” He casts a look to the sky like he’s talking to someone. “Is this punishment then?”
I glare at him, but when he looks back at me, his mouth is tilted in amusement.
“Look, I dreamt of you because I’m meant to protect you. I can’t prove that, and you have nothing but my word and my track record. If I hadn’t been there, The Silenci would have finished you off. That much I know for sure.”
“Why do you think that?” I ask, intrigued enough to let the comment about me being punishment slide—for now.
“Because of this.” He hands me a rock, and my eyes widen at the familiar blood stains coating the top and sides.
“This was at my house,” I say in shock. “It opened and . . . something came out. You . . . pushed me aside.”
He nods. “A curse,” he explains quietly. “Whoever sent it meant to kill you. I think Aerina was trying to take your place, and that’s why she sent herself through that portal.”
“But it hit me,” I say, remembering the black inky coating over my heart. I run a hand absently over it at the memory.
“Not all of it.” He rubs a dark spot on his chest. “I think I managed to soak up enough to keep it from really doing any damage to you.”
I reach out and run my finger over the spot. A pulse of something courses from him to me, and I jerk away my hand.
“What was that?” I demand.
He looks just as shocked as me for once. “No idea. Curses are unpredictable.” He shakes his head then steps back.
“What the hell,” I whisper, stunned.
Wolf-man shakes his head again. “I don’t think Hell has anything to do with this.”
I snort. “You say that like you know the residents personally.”
He shrugs. “I’ve only had direct dealings with the lower demons, but curses like this one aren’t their style.”
My jaw falls open. “What. The. Fuckery.”
He cocks his head. “You really don’t know what you are, do you?”
“I know I’m being held against my will,” I say because it’s clear to me that Kol has lost his marbles, and I’ve officially over-stayed my welcome inside his twisted little reality.
“Elidi, listen to me,” he says, clearly on edge. “I don’t know why no one told you the truth. Maybe it was to protect you. But we’re past that now, and you need to know.”
“Need to know what?” My heart bangs loudly against my ribs.
“You’re not human, Elidi. Not entirely. And neither am I.”
“What are you exactly?” I ask.
“I’m a wolf shifter. A guardian and protector of the gods created by Odin during the Great War. I’m here to protect you.”
My mouth goes dry.
“This can’t be real,” I breathe.
My eyes fill with tears, and it pisses me off because crying seems like the least helpful thing my body can do for me now.
“You saw me shift from a wolf to this,” he says, gesturing to his body, which doesn’t help since the only thing covering him is a scrap of shorts that seems to have just barely made the transition with him from animal to human.
Not human.
He just said neither of us were human.
“You saw it with your own eyes,” he continues. “I was a wolf, and now I’m a man. Hard to deny it when you witnessed it firsthand.”
“Hard, yes. Impossible, no,” I say, but all the while, my brain is showing me images of things that I can’t quite blow off as a product of a head injury. The glowing eyes. The Silenci’s scream breaking a window. Aerina’s reaction is the only thing I can’t accept. The way she went to meet the danger. Like she’d already accepted the idea of giving her life. For me.
“Elidi,” he says softly. And then in my head, Elidi.
“Fine, Wolf-man. Have it your way. You’re not human.”
“We’re not human,” he corrects.
I glare. “But cursed or not, we have to go back.”
“The Silenci are out there waiting. We can’t just go back.”
“Aerina is the only family I have left,” I say. “I have to find her.”
He shakes his head. “I get that. I do. But it’s too dangerous. The Silenci are probably still waiting on the other side of the wall, and I can’t protect you against them all, spitfire. I’m good, but I’m not that good.”
“Then you can stay here.”
He barks out a laugh.
“Not happening,” he says. “Like it or not, I’m in this.”
“Well, feel free to take yourself out of it. I can do this on my own.”
I take a step toward the water, but he grabs my wrist, spinning me around to face him. Heat brands me where his fingers touch my skin, and it’s all I can do not to shiver and throw myself against him. The dark patch on his chest draws me, and I have to curl my fing
ers against the urge to touch it again. To touch him. And not just there but everywhere.
It’s the shock. Has to be.
“The dreams and visions are binding for a protector, and mine have all been filled with you for months now. I can’t leave, spitfire. I won’t.”
“What about me? Don’t I get a choice?” I ask.
“I dream of drowning with you,” he says softly, and I suck in a sharp breath.
My gaze searches his. There’s more to it. Things he’s not telling me. I can see it written in his fervent expression. But the drowning. The nightmares—I can’t deny those.
“I don’t trust you,” I say.
It’s a lie. Whatever I saw in him when our eyes locked during that lightning bolt, although crazy, left me with no doubt about one thing: I can trust Kol with my life.
I’m just not sure what kind of life that is anymore.
Chapter Five
Kol finally begins to look weary, and I can’t help but be impressed by his stamina, considering it took this long.
“We need sleep. But first, I’ll feed you,” Kol says in a voice that brooks no argument.
“Fine,” I say sweetly. “I’ll take two double cheeseburgers and a vanilla shake.”
Something zips across the beach to our left and catches his attention. He smirks, but whatever it is moves way too fast for me to see.
“How about a nice, warm rabbit stew instead?” he asks.
“Rabbit? You know what? I just remembered. I’m a vegetarian.”
“Since when?”
“Since now.” I wrinkle my nose.
“You have to eat, Elidi.”
“If I wanted a pet dog to hunt my dinner, I would have gotten a Beagle or something manageable.”
One minute, Kol’s standing out of reach, and the next, he’s gripping my hips and has me backed against a tree. His scent, a heady musk that is all forest and wood chips, fills my nose. He’s every inch brute force and raw power and staring at me so hard that I don’t dare move.
“I’m not a dog, Elidi. I’m a wolf divinely created for the sole purpose of death and destruction to anyone who threatens my chosen. And I’m not your pet, although petting can be arranged.” His eyes glitter with anticipation. “We’ll think of it as a perk if you like.”
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