“How could anyone miss you?” I blurt.
Iynx’s lips curve, and she pats my arm. “Thank you, darling. Very sweet. But I wasn’t in this particular form.”
I open my mouth to ask what other forms she can take, but Grim’s impatience beats me to it.
“What’d you find?” he asks.
“Nothing,” she says, and her expression turns bleak again. “That’s what I’m telling you. Nicki never leaves her post unattended. Not when there are souls to sort. But the gates were crowded with souls, and Nicki was nowhere to be found.”
“We have to find her,” I say. “She’s the only one who might know where Aerina is. Does Nicnevin have a guardian?” I ask, glancing at Kol.
His dark eyes are fastened to mine, but he doesn’t answer me. I can practically see his thoughts churning away, and I know he’s calculating the danger we’re in now that Nicnevin is missing.
Iynx shakes her head. “Nicnevin is unbound. It’s the only way she can remain bonded with The Silenci.”
I shudder at the reminder of those demon stallions.
“Kol?” Grim says. “What do you think?”
“I think it’s only a matter of time before we’re discovered here,” he says. “I won’t keep putting Iynx at risk for us.”
She reaches for his hand and squeezes it.
“It sounds like the best way to fix all this is for me to ascend. Grim, can you get us ready to work on those goddess-gifts you mentioned?”
“Absolutely.”
Chapter Thirteen
Working out underneath the hot desert sun is its own torturous method of training. Kol already knows it, and it isn’t long before Grim realizes it too. After that, all of my training sessions take place outside. Even Iynx’s lemonade—which she sneaks into my thermos when Kol isn’t looking—isn’t enough to stave off the exhaustion, though it does provide a pleasurable sort of laziness after a long day of failing to produce magic.
By day three, I’ve stabilized somewhere between dead on my feet and dehydrated. I have no idea how, but I’m handling the long hours in the baking heat. It’s weird.
“Do you think it’s possible my super power is just that I can stand out in the sun for hours without dropping?” I ask Grim.
A heavy coating of sweat has already dampened his gray tee, and the swimming trunks he opted for rather than slacks are clinging to his thighs. It’s not the worst view ever. Or maybe that’s the lemonade talking.
“You’re a light goddess,” he says before reaching for his water bottle. “It’s possible that means you have a higher tolerance for heat and sunlight.”
“Right, but maybe it’s my only superpower. Have you thought of that?”
He frowns. “Uh, no. Kol already told me how you zapped him the first time you met. Nice try, though. Keep going.”
I huff, tossing my sticky hair out of my face. Most of it is perched high on my head in a crazy bun, but a section continues to rebel, falling free to cover one eye. It’s annoying as hell, but then everything’s irritating when I’m this hot and this inept at Grim’s tests.
“These tests are stupid,” I grumble, eyeing the pyramid of tin cans across the yard. I have zero confidence in my ability to hit them with anything resembling magic or superpowers, but Grim has revealed himself as a stubborn teacher. He’s not letting up until I show some sign of power.
“These tests will tell us what you can do,” he reminds me.
“You know, you’re starting to sound as bossy as Kol.”
Grim’s mouth quirks. “I figured if I could channel him, you’d be more compliant.”
“I don’t listen to him any better than I listen to you.”
Grim snorts. “Oh, princess, you respond in all the ways that matter.”
“I—”
“How’s it going out here?”
The sound of Kol’s voice silences my argument. I press my lips together and glare at Grim. He just grins back at me. My temper spikes, and rather than zap the cans, I turn my full attention to Grim and shoot daggers at him with my eyes instead.
To my shock, something sharp lances through my gut, and I double over. A flash of light goes off, blinding me, and I turn away, shutting my eyes against the brightness. When I open them again, Grim is doubled over, holding his left shoulder.
Kol stands beside him, trying to pry Grim’s hand away.
“I’m fine,” Grim snarls.
“Then let me see it,” Kol insists.
I blink, stunned at what just happened and how quickly Kol moved to help. Iynx steps up beside me, watching the boys, a glass of chilled lemonade in her manicured hand. “Impressive,” she says and sends me a sideways glance.
“What?” I shake my head. “I didn’t—”
“It was an accident. It’s okay,” she tells me and pats my hand. It’s a casual touch but sends a zing of pleasure through me that feels like reassurance. A reminder that she accepts me. Wants me. It doesn’t feel sexual like the others. More affirming.
“How did I do it?” I whisper, still watching as Kol manages to coax Grim into moving his hand out of the way.
Even from here, I can see the bright red skin where a blister is already forming along his collarbone.
I gasp.
“You were angry,” Iynx says, and hearing it out loud only makes me feel even guiltier than before. She squeezes my hand again, numbing the pain. “He understands,” she murmurs.
I turn to her. “How do you know?”
She nods. “Go see for yourself.”
I let go of her hand, wishing I could hang on to the feel of her skin even after it’s gone. Across the yard, I meet Grim’s gaze, but there’s no trace of accusation.
“Grim, I’m so sorry,” I tell him.
“Princess.” He grabs my hand and pulls me in, shoving Kol aside until he’s tucked me into the circle of his arms. “Don’t be sorry. That was amazing.”
He holds me tightly enough that I believe him, and some of my guilt eases. I take a deep breath, inhaling the mysterious scent of him. Grim is an enigma right down to the musk of his skin, an unnameable smell that makes me want to unwrap him to find out more.
Huh. Maybe the pink lemonade is messing with me for real.
“You really aren’t mad?” I ask when he finally lets me go.
His eyes twinkle. “I’m tougher than a goddess ascending’s temper tantrum,” he says with a laugh, and I scowl.
“It wasn’t—”
“Although, how about next time you want a test dummy, you shoot Kol. I’m sure if we give him five minutes, he can make you angrier than I can.”
Kol glares at him, and I shove him, stepping back.
“I don’t want to hurt either of you.”
The weight of Kol’s gaze becomes too heavy to ignore, and I look over at him to find him studying my face intently. Something about his posture suggests he’s thinking about more than just the burn I’ve given Grim. As if he’s just realized I’ve busted him, he reluctantly looks away then glances at Grim.
“She’s right,” Kol says. “Let me have a turn with her.”
His voice is all-business, but something secretive passes between them, and then Grim nods.
“I’ll be inside if you need me.” He glances at me. “Which you won’t.”
I don’t have time to form a reply before he strides off, taking Iynx with him.
“He likes you,” Kol says flatly the moment we’re alone.
I blink, a little shocked that he’s being so direct. Since our first training session, no, since that first kiss, he’s been closed off. Unwilling to talk about anything personal. I’ve kept my distance too, unable to get past the whole “consort” thing. His directness throws me off.
“I like him too,” I say, and Kol’s eyes flash. “As a friend.”
His jaw tenses.
“Gods take partners all the time.” His voice is low and hard. “It doesn’t have to be love.”
“What would it be then?” I ask.
>
“Pleasure,” he says simply, and I think of Iynx. Of her easy touch.
“Is that enough?” I ask, biting back the urge to ask my real question: Whether he’s ever gone to someone, to Iynx, for the kind of pleasure he’s talking about right now.
“That’s a question only you can answer for yourself,” he says roughly. But his expression is blank, carefully masked. I don’t like the wall behind his gaze, so I step closer to him, hoping to find a way around it.
“Is it enough for you?” I ask even though I’d sworn not to go there. If he says yes, I’ll—
“It’s not that simple.”
I frown. It’s not an answer. Not really. But he’s already so closed off. I know if I push, he’ll just walk away.
“Grim told me about the bond,” I say instead.
Something flickers behind his eyes and my breath catches.
“Does it hurt?” I ask.
“Does what hurt?”
“Protecting me without it? Without my side of the oath?”
He shakes his head. “No. It doesn’t hurt.” His mouth relaxes. It’s not a smile, but it’s no longer a pained frown either.
I tell myself it’s progress. To let it end here for now.
I’ve just begun to turn away, headed back to my position across from the cans, when he adds, “And even if it did, the pain would be worth it.”
I spend dinner in the tub, trying in vain to soothe my sore muscles before tomorrow’s training. After Kol’s admission about protecting me being worth any pain it causes, he clammed up again. For the rest of the afternoon, we ran drills. Most of them consisted of some evil and torturous combination of sit-ups, push-ups, and burpees.
Grim is sitting in one of the living room chairs when I emerge from the bath. His eyes do a lazy scan of my pajama-clad body, lingering until I clear my throat.
He looks up at me, the opposite of apologetic, and whistles. Without missing a beat, he says, “Princess, I know you’re incredibly busy, but is there any chance you can add me to your to-do list?”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“You love me,” he teases.
“How’s your shoulder?” I ask quietly.
“Healing,” he says with a shrug and crosses his legs.
“Can I see?” I ask.
He reaches up and pulls his shirt down to reveal the blistered skin where I zapped him earlier. It does look mildly better thanks to some sort of cream he’s slathered over the area. But it still looks painful.
“Grim, I’m still so sorry,” I say, shaking my head as the guilt washes over me anew.
“Don’t,” he says, grabbing my hand to stop me. “Don’t feel bad. This is good. We need to know what you can do. And I don’t mind the pain.” He gives me a crooked smile. “You can kiss it and make it better.”
I roll my eyes. “I don’t want to hurt my friends, Grim. I want to control my power. Besides, if I’m a goddess of light, why am I so destructive?”
He doesn’t answer, and I sink into the chair opposite him, sighing as my sore muscles settle against the soft cushions.
“Relax, princess. We’ll figure it out. This is all very normal. Although, if you’re worried, I wouldn’t mind some personal care from you. Some sexual healing, if you know what I mean.” He winks, and I tip my head back while I groan.
“Don’t you ever get tired of unashamedly throwing yourself at everyone?” I ask.
Grim smiles devilishly. “Not as tired as I’m sure you are,” he says. “Considering you’ve been running through my mind all day.”
“Such a player.” I shake my head. “I saw you leave Iynx, you know,” I say. “And now your clothes are wrinkled, and your buttons are crooked.”
He glances down, and I can see his surprise when he notices his buttons are off by one. When he looks back at me, I give him a satisfied smirk, but it’s quickly wiped away by his next words.
“Are you questioning my stamina or my loyalty, princess?” He leans forward. “Because I can assure you I am good for both.”
I laugh. “Everything out of your mouth is a line.”
His smile softens, and he sits back again. “You’re having fun, though.”
Something about the way he says it gets my attention. “Is that your agenda? To make sure I’m entertained? Seems a little superficial.”
“Not superficial. Safe,” he says, surprising me with the note of honesty in his words.
I tilt my head, understanding dawning slowly. “You keep people at arm’s length to protect yourself,” I realize.
He blinks, obviously a little surprised that I read him. And I know, thanks to his silence, that I’m right.
“What are you afraid of, Grim?” I whisper, and there’s no teasing in the question. If anything, I want him to know he can trust me with the answer. Because something tells me he can’t trust many people in his life.
“I—” Before he can reply, the door swings open, banging against the wall.
Kol strides in, dark eyes blazing with urgency. “We need to go,” he says.
“What’s wrong?” Grim is on his feet instantly, and I join him, heart racing.
“The east ward’s alarm just went off. Something’s out there.”
“The Silenci?” Grim asks.
“I don’t know yet.” Kol pins me with an intense stare.
Before he can move away, I grab his wrist and hang on. He drops his arm, and my hand slides into his. The touch is a reassurance, just like Iynx’s, and the pleasure that sings through me is even stronger than anything I’ve gotten from her.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” His words are so filled with conviction I can’t help but believe him.
In this moment, it’s not me I’m worried about.
“If something’s out there, it’s not getting through Iynx’s border,” Grim says. “And if it tries, she’ll just—”
“Iynx is gone,” Kol says.
“What?” I gasp. “She left?”
Kol shakes his head. “She’s probably trying to take care of the threat herself, but I’m not going to stand around and let her do all the work. I won’t let anything happen to her for letting us come here.”
Grim nods. “What do you need?”
“Go help Iynx. Elidi and I will head west. Try to slip past unnoticed. Buy us as much lead time as you can.”
“I’m on it.”
Grim turns for the door. Without letting go of Kol’s hand, I grab Grim’s wrist and pull him back. For a moment, we stand there, each of them wrapping one of their hands tightly around my own. It feels strangely right—and an undercurrent of power ripples through me as I look back and forth between them. Grim turns to face me, his green eyes sharp and cunning.
“Be careful,” I tell him, nearly pleading as panic snakes up my spine. It’s only been a week since Kol and Grim crashed into my life, but already I can’t bear the thought of losing either one.
He leans in and presses a cold kiss to my warm cheek. Then, without a word, he turns and leaves.
Kol tugs my hand. “We need to move,” he says.
I nod, not trusting my voice. But instead of leading me out the door, Kol pulls me into his arms with enough force that my body thumps against his chest. His arms wrap around me, and he buries his face in my neck. The pleasure that rocks through is more intense than anything I’ve ever felt.
Too soon, Kol lets me go and sets me in front of him. His dark eyes gleam nearly black in the low light. I almost pity the enemy that faces him like this. Almost.
“You’re going to stay beside me the entire time we’re out there. If I shift, you’re going to be ready to ride me, understand?”
For a split second, full awareness colors his resolve, and his eyes darken in an entirely different way.
“We’re going to revisit my word choice later,” he says, and I nod, already flushing at the mental picture his words have painted.
“Fucking Hell,” he mutters.
Before I know what
’s coming, he scoops me into his arms and presses his mouth to mine.
It’s not a soft kiss. All I can feel are his hands on my bare neck, dragging my face to his. The tips of his fingers thread into my hair, and my mouth moves frantically against his. I make a sound of desperation that I have not once heard myself make. Everything feels urgent. Like we need to leave right now. Or run right now. Or get naked right now.
“Elidi.” His breath is hot against my lips. The way he says my name feels like some sort of promise.
“Kol,” I manage, but it’s mostly a whimper. A desperate, needy request for more.
Kol groans and kisses me harder. His lips are rough, and when his tongue darts out, plunging into my mouth, my own pleasure takes over. I slip my hands underneath his shirt, running my fingers over rippling abs. He swipes once then twice then a third time with his tongue, sending shivers through my liquidy limbs.
Then, way too soon, he breaks the kiss and steps back.
“We have to go,” he says, and I can hear the reluctance in his words.
I nod and take his hand.
“I’m ready,” I say, braced for whatever waits outside.
Chapter Fourteen
The yard is empty, and I shiver as I step out into the moonlight. Kol’s hand tightens around mine, my lifeline in the dark as we venture off the gravel path. The world inside the barrier is silent, and Grim is nowhere to be seen. If Grim and Iynx have gone to confront a threat, they’ve done so outside the barrier walls.
Jogging lightly behind Kol, we veer west toward the dark line drawn in the dirt that marks where the property line ends and the ward begins.
Up ahead, something shimmers. Kol notices, and we slow our pace. The air shifts, and Kol stops completely, inhaling deeply a moment before I see the outline of an arm in the goo.
My heart races.
I look around at our options, trying to decide which way to run when Kol snorts in annoyance.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
“What is it?” I ask quietly.
“Helix,” he says, sounding less than thrilled.
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