“Oh…” Nora hesitated. “Only for a little while.”
More like a few hours, you liar.
“I went over to the hospital to visit Ian, but they said he couldn’t have visitors,” she added. “I didn’t realize he’d been so badly injured.”
“Yes, he’s in bad shape. He was having convulsions today, and they were doing more diagnostics to check for brain damage.”
“Oh, my heavens, how awful!” Nora’s voice vibrated with concern. “They wouldn’t tell me anything at the hospital. If you see him and if… he’s… able to understand…” She swallowed audibly. “Please give him my best wishes for a speedy recovery.” She hesitated. “Do you think… how serious…?”
Dammit, if only I could see her expression. Was she secretly hoping Ian would die and save her the trouble of murdering him? Or was she honestly concerned?
“It’s hard to tell with brain injuries,” I said solemnly. “He was just going into the MRI when I was there today, so I hope we’ll have some news tomorrow.” Shifting into my best concerned-daughter voice, I added, “It’s too bad you walked all the way over to the hospital for nothing. I hope you were warm enough for such a long walk in the snow.”
“Oh, I didn’t walk. I’ve met a nice man here at the hotel and he drove me over.”
Gotcha.
Hiding my surge of predatory glee in an offhand tone, I said, “Oh, that’s nice. What’s his name? Maybe I know him.”
“You likely do,” she replied. “He’s a local man, Bob Armstrong. He’s having some marital difficulties, so he’s temporarily moved into the hotel.”
“Nope, the name doesn’t ring a bell. But I haven’t lived here long enough to know everybody yet.”
Nora sniffed. “Well, you must be the only person in town who doesn’t know him, then. I loathe small towns. The gossip is simply intolerable.”
“Oh, really?” I didn’t have to fake my avid interest. “What’s the gossip?”
“Honestly, Aydan, don’t be so petty.”
I waited.
“I’m sure it’s completely unfounded…” she began.
“How sure?” I inquired cynically.
“Well, not ‘unfounded’, exactly, but unjustified. He was caught in flagrante delicto with another woman; but it was completely excusable. His wife is very cold and indifferent.”
“And you know this because…?”
“He told me all about her. He’s a very warm passionate man.”
“That’s a nice euphemism for ‘he can’t keep it in his pants’,” I drawled. “So he was screwing around on his wife. Why didn’t he just divorce her if he was so unhappy in his marriage? Don’t tell me; let me guess. He didn’t want to hurt her by letting the neighbours find out that she couldn’t satisfy him.”
“I believe this conversation is over,” Nora said stiffly.
Click.
“Goodnight, Mom,” I said to the dead air on the line. “You slimy piece of shit.” I slammed the receiver onto the cradle and dropped my head into my hands.
Stupid.
I’d let my emotions get in the way of my mission again.
Hissing out a breath between my teeth, I picked up the phone and dialled Nora back.
“Yes?” The chill in her tone jabbed an icicle straight through my heart.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “That was childish of me. I don’t want to fight with you; I just… I’m having a really hard time…” My voice wavered right on cue, but unfortunately I wasn’t faking it. Dammit, get a grip. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Oh, Dani-dear.” Emotion choked her voice, too. “I knew this wasn’t going to be easy for either of us. I wish we could just let go of the last thirty years. Remember how we used to celebrate the days when school was closed for a blizzard? Cuddling together under the covers and reading in our pajamas all day, and eating cookies and ice cream in bed? I wish we could do that now.”
A wave of memory crashed through my defenses, flooding my heart with bitter warmth and tightening my throat.
“I… I’d forgotten that…” I swallowed hard, trying to steady my voice.
“But you must remember our shopping sprees in Saskatoon,” she pleaded. “When we used to catch the Greyhound bus in town and ride to Saskatoon; shop all day and then ride the bus home in the evening?”
“N-no… I remember when I was seventeen, I used to drive to town and ride the Greyhound to Saskatoon by myself.”
“Oh, Dani-dear, how do you think you knew how to ride the bus and where to go in the big city? We did it together time after time, when you were younger.”
“I… I can’t remember that,” I stammered.
But I remembered her cold silences when I’d done something that displeased her. I remembered the time I’d given her backtalk and she’d slapped me across the face, the shock and pain still reverberating in my memory.
I shook myself free of the past.
Get it together. You’re an agent with a job to do.
“It’s been so long. I’d like to revisit those good times with you,” I said. “Can we get together tomorrow?”
“Of course, darling. I’ll be waiting for your call.” She hesitated. “Good night, Dani-dear. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Goodnight,” I croaked, and hung up.
Collapsing forward, I let my forehead thump onto my desk. If the analysts, or worse, Stemp, listened to the recording of that call, I hoped to hell they thought I was just the world’s best actor. Because if they thought I couldn’t handle a mission without getting personal, there was a nice cozy cell waiting to hold me for the rest of my life.
I called the analysts and gave them Bob Armstrong’s name, then updated my reports with all the facts and none of the emotion. At last I headed for the door.
The fifteen-minute drive home felt like hours. Fighting sleep all the way, I opened my car windows to the frigid winter air and sang along with the radio at the top of my lungs.
When the bright warmth of my garage embraced me at last, I turned off the ignition and hit the button to roll the door down behind me.
Home. Safe.
I let out a long breath and relaxed.
My car door wrenched open.
Big dark figure reaching in…
I shrieked, my left fist pistoning out at the threatening figure. My right hand scrabbled uselessly at my parka where my holster should have been, dammit-dammit…
Chapter 32
“It’s okay! Aydan, you’re okay!” Hellhound’s urgent voice penetrated my panic. “It’s just me. You’re okay. You’re home an’ you’re safe.”
Realization dawned and I fell back in the driver’s seat of my car, gasping. “Oh, fuck, you scared the shit out of me!”
“Sorry, darlin’.” He leaned down to study me worriedly. “I guess ya musta fallen asleep.”
“No, I just drove in.”
His frown deepened. “No, ya drove in twenty minutes ago. I saw the garage door roll down but ya didn’t come in the house. I figured ya were just doin’ somethin’ out here, but after a while I started wonderin’.”
“Oh.” I rubbed my forehead, which bore an aching indentation where it had rested on the steering wheel. “You’re right, I must have fallen asleep. Thanks for coming to get me.”
“No problem, darlin’.” He reached down to me. “Come on, let’s get ya to bed.”
“Heaven,” I sighed, and gave him my hand so he could hoist me out of the car.
The ring of the phone jerked me out of warm and wonderful oblivion. Eyes still glued shut, I hit the ‘Talk’ button and croaked, “H’lo?”
“Good morning, Dani-dear…” Nora hesitated. “Did I wake you?”
“Uh… yeah…” I dragged my eyelids open. From the other pillow, Arnie gave me a sleepy smile before closing his eyes again. Eyeing the slow rise and fall of his muscular tattooed chest, I banished my momentary envy at the fact that he’d fallen i
nstantly back to sleep.
Nora was still talking, and I interrupted gently. “I’m sorry, I’m not quite awake yet. What did you say?”
“Should I call back later?”
“Um… no, that’s okay. I’m awake now.” I gave my head a shake, trying to kickstart my brain.
“I was calling to see when we could get together today,” she said.
“Um… what day is it…? Right, Tuesday…”
Shit, I wasn’t cleared for active duty yet.
Or maybe I was. I glanced at the clock radio. Nine AM. Holy shit, I was late for work. Stemp was going to…
No, Stemp was on his way to England. Dermott was going to kick my ass.
But I’d slept for nearly eleven hours. I could tell him I was just making really sure I qualified for active duty again…
“Aydan, are you still there?” Nora inquired.
“Um, yeah. Sorry. Tuesdays are really busy for me. I overslept, so I have to get to the office as soon as I can. And I have two-hour meetings back to back at eleven and one, so I won’t finish until three…”
“Oh.” Her voice was distinctly cooler. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t expect you to put your mother ahead of any of those… responsibilities. I must have misunderstood when you said you wanted to spend more time with me. Why don’t you give me a call when you have a few spare minutes?”
I knotted my fist in my hair. “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that. I could probably make it around ten-thirty, but only for half an hour…”
“Watch your language,” Nora said stiffly. “And you needn’t throw me any crumbs. I’ll be too busy to see you this morning anyway.”
The unspoken ‘I’m terribly disappointed in you’ pushed every one of my dysfunctional buttons.
“I’m sorry, of course you’re important to me…” I began, then caught myself. Stop apologizing. “Let’s make plans for this afternoon. Is it okay if I pick you up around three fifteen?”
“I don’t know if I’ll be ready to see you then.”
I jerked up to sitting position, my frustration and guilt bursting out. “Can we please not do this? Look, I’m sorry you’re disappointed. I didn’t mean to hurt you and I really want to see you. Can we please just get together this afternoon?”
Nora heaved a long-suffering sigh. “All right, Aydan. I forgive you, of course. I’ll be ready at three-fifteen.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you then.”
I punched the disconnect button and fell back on the pillow, pressing my hands over my face and fighting the urge to scream, swear, and beat the hell out of something. Not necessarily in that order.
“Okay, darlin’?” Hellhound rasped softly.
Dropping my hands, I looked over to see him studying me. Guess he hadn’t gone back to sleep after all.
“Fine.” I slapped the handset back onto its charging cradle and sat up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. “I have to get to work. I’m late.”
I made for the bathroom, hoping he wouldn’t follow me into the shower.
He didn’t.
Rinsing the conditioner out of my hair under the hot spray a few minutes later, my heart sank as I processed his absence.
I didn’t even remember saying goodnight to him last night. We had exchanged some promising kisses while we undressed, and then…
Shit, I’d collapsed into bed and fallen instantly asleep. I vaguely remembered nightmares soothed by his soft reassurances and gentle hands, but I hadn’t woken enough to even thank him.
And this morning I hadn’t kissed him, or even wished him good morning.
He was hurt. And rightfully so.
Tension wound up in my shoulders while I towelled off at warp speed. I’d have to make it up to him before I left. Maybe a quickie would do it.
Pasting a smile on my face, I hurried out of the bathroom, my wet hair still dripping down my back.
Arnie was reclining against the pillows with his arms tucked behind his head, smiling at me. But the smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“Hey, who’s this hot guy in my bed?” I teased as I snuggled in beside him. Trailing kisses along his neck, I finger-walked down the hard muscle of his stomach to the coarse hair that surrounded my goal.
His arm came around me, but his free hand stopped mine before I could fondle him. “Ya don’t really have time for this, do ya?”
My stomach clenched.
He was hurt. Now he’d go cold and silent…
Arnie frowned. “Aydan…”
Oh God, he was angry, too.
He hesitated. “So… ya know how I said I was comin’ up here to give ya a reality check if the mother-bitch started mind-fuckin’ ya?”
The air vanished from my lungs.
He’d lied to me.
He had some other agenda, and he’d lied to me.
I turned away so he couldn’t see my heart ripping in two. “Yes…?”
“She’s mind-fuckin’ ya,” Arnie said softly.
“Okay,” I said without meeting his gaze. “But why are you really here?”
“Aw, darlin’.” He folded me into his arms. “That’s why I’m here.”
“B-but you just said…”
“That’s what I mean. She’s twistin’ ya up so ya don’t trust anybody anymore, not even me.” The pain in his voice stabbed my heart.
“I’m sorry!” I hugged him tightly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Christ, Aydan, ya ain’t hurtin’ me. I’m hurtin’ for ya. Just… look at me, okay?”
When I pulled back a few inches, he tipped my chin up and held my gaze with his. “We’re friends, an’ I’m never gonna lie to ya. Ya still believe that?” When I nodded uncertainly, he went on, his gaze holding mine. “So believe me when I tell ya that you’re a good person an’ a good friend an’ a good agent. An’ anybody that makes ya stop believin’ that, they ain’t worth your time.”
Hope stirred cautiously in my heart.
“So… you’re…” I studied his face, alert for the tiniest cue. “…not upset?”
“No, darlin’,” he said gently. “Why would I be upset?”
“I didn’t give you any dinner, I fell asleep on you last night, I didn’t even say good morning; and now I’m leaving you with blue balls. I’ve been treating you like shit, and I feel awful about it.”
He went still. “You’re treatin’ me just fine. I’m here to make sure you’re okay, not to get fed or fucked.”
I pulled away with an incredulous laugh. “Um, hello, Mr. Condom?” I pointed at the large unopened box on the bedside table.
Arnie grinned. “Okay, ya got me there; but just listen for a sec.” He sobered and took my hand. “Anytime ya wanna get horizontal, I’ll be hot an’ ready; but it wouldn’t matter if we never did the tube snake boogie again. I can always find some chick to get my rocks off, but…” He planted a gentle whiskery kiss on my forehead. “…I’ll never find another friend like you. So if ya don’t have time or ya ain’t in the mood, it just ain’t a big deal. Ya don’t hafta pretend.”
“I’ve never pretended,” I assured him. “Trust me, you’re so good in bed you could give an orgasm to a marble statue of the Virgin Mary.”
He stared at me open-mouthed for an instant before his laugh burst out. “Hell, darlin’, I dunno whether to be flattered or weirded out.”
I snickered. “Okay, that mental image was a little disturbing. But you get my point.”
“Yeah,” Arnie said quietly. “But here’s my point: You’re worthwhile for who ya are. Ya don’t hafta be a servant or a sexpot.”
His words hit me like lightning bolts. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. After a moment, I closed it again.
“Aydan?” Arnie’s brow furrowed. “Talk to me, darlin’.”
“I, um…” My voice came out in a croak. I swallowed. “I… wow. You just… completely upended my worldview. And I never thought I’d be happy to hear a guy say ‘if you don’t put out, I’ll find a woman who will’.”
&nbs
p; “Shit, I didn’t mean-” he began anxiously, but I flung my arms around him.
“You’re perfect.” I kissed him, long and slow. “You.” I kissed him again. “Are.” Kiss. “Perfect.” Another kiss. “Abso-fucking-lutely perfect. How did I ever get lucky enough to find you?”
He flushed. “Shit, I ain’t anythin’ special. Anybody’d look good compared to the fuckin’ losers you’ve had so far.”
“No.” Cupping his chin in both hands and enjoying the roughness of his beard against my palms, I smiled into his eyes. “You make all other guys look like losers.”
“Stop,” he grumbled. “You’re gonna give me a swelled head.”
Cuddling closer, I coasted my hand downward. “Turns out I like swelled heads.”
“Mmm.” His voice deepened as I stroked him. “Is that a fact, now?”
“Mmhmm…” My response was muffled by his mouth, and I melted against him.
Lord, the man could kiss. Lips, tongue, and whiskers in perfect nerve-tingling harmony-
The phone rang.
Chapter 33
Reluctantly pulling away from the hot temptation of Arnie’s kiss, I checked the call display.
“It’s Dermott.” I grimaced. “Sorry, I have to answer this.” Bracing myself for a flood of invective, I pressed the Talk button and said, “Hello?”
“What the hell are you doing still at home?” Dermott snapped. “It’s a quarter to ten! We need you here for a briefing, pronto!”
“Dr. Rawling said I had to get eight hours of sleep before I could go back on active duty,” I replied, unhesitatingly shoving Rawling under the bus to save myself.
“Fuck Rawling and his pansy-ass psych shit! You’re reinstated because I’m the DCO and I say so. Now get your ass in here!”
‘Fuck you’ hovered at the tip of my tongue, but I managed to bite it back. “On my way,” I said instead, and hung up.
Arnie frowned. “Ya ain’t cleared for active duty?”
“I am now, according to His Royal Highness Brent Shirley Dermott.”
Hellhound’s frown deepened. “Fuck him. Call Doc Rawlin’. If he says ya ain’t ready…”
Friends In Spy Places Page 25